Pope Francis: parents can smack their children for bad behaviour

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I am trying to reconcile this debate with Scripture. Teenage Jesus pulls a disappearing act on Mary and Joseph. They catch up with Him three days later in the temple. The only thing that happens is Mary asks ‘Why?’ and Jesus says He was doing the Father’s business.

Were Mary and Joseph so understated with Jesus because the Gospel writers did not want to portray Jesus as needing discipline, but in reality He was as most children are? According to extra canonical sources, Jesus could be a bit of a handful. (according to the Gospels of Thomas, Judas and Peter there are stories of dead birds brought back to life and a child who died.)

Was it because they knew from the Angels who Jesus was that Mary and Joseph did not punish Jesus? If that’s the case, isn’t the example set by Mary and Joseph the one we should follow with our kids?

As someone who has lost a child in a movie theater for half a minute, then alternated between hugging/spanking him, I find the account written as is difficult to reconcile with reality.
 
I am trying to reconcile this debate with Scripture. Teenage Jesus pulls a disappearing act on Mary and Joseph. They catch up with Him three days later in the temple. The only thing that happens is Mary asks ‘Why?’ and Jesus says He was doing the Father’s business.

Were Mary and Joseph so understated with Jesus because the Gospel writers did not want to portray Jesus as needing discipline, but in reality He was as most children are? According to extra canonical sources, Jesus could be a bit of a handful. (according to the Gospels of Thomas, Judas and Peter there are stories of dead birds brought back to life and a child who died.)

Was it because they knew from the Angels who Jesus was that Mary and Joseph did not punish Jesus? If that’s the case, isn’t the example set by Mary and Joseph the one we should follow with our kids?

As someone who has lost a child in a movie theater for half a minute, then alternated between hugging/spanking him, I find the account written as is difficult to reconcile with reality.
Well, bear in mind that your child is not the creator of the universe, nor you yourself an immaculately conceived, sinless and grace-abounding virgin, nor your husband a true saint (just a guess) and that story may begin to seem very realistic indeed. 🙂
 
I just saw that mother Panda selects which of her cubs is her favorite, and leaves the other ones to die. “Be the best kid or die” seems kind of harsh by most “human” standards I’d submit. Seems to me she knows her options and picks one. 👍
But it isn’t by analysis or thoughtful reflection that the choice is made. She could have picked that one cub from among the others because its fur reminded her of her favorite veggie.
 
But it isn’t by analysis or thoughtful reflection that the choice is made. She could have picked that one cub from among the others because its fur reminded her of her favorite veggie.
I rather doubt her decisions are arbitrary, since pandas already have a problem feeding even one child and the fact that their species even exists now is testimony to one thing that every one of her ancestors made in common: every one lived long enough to reproduce. Watch practically any nature show and you will notice that whether animals live long enough to reproduce, has to do with survival skills that go beyond, let’s say, a preference for a certain veggie. She might kill for her favorite veggie (although Pandas don’t hardly eat anything other than bamboo) but I’m pretty sure her selection of which son to prefer has more to do with its ability to survive than some arbitrary decision.

People can get away with making stupid decisions because most of us no longer live in a society where only the physically strong survive and the weak ones fail to pass along their DNA. Basically we have non “natural predators” any more, so it would be a very “human” decision to make such a silly choice for which of three children she would allow to survive.

And please I’m not talking about abortion; I’m talking about babies who are old enough that the mothers form opinions on which ones are the strongest.

I could be totally wrong.
 
I am a born Sri Lankan Catholic and I respect holy father Francis and admire his simplicity.But yesterday I got the news from Cable News Network(CNN) that his holiness has spoken in favour of corporal punishment of children.He has been reportedly saying that if a child had been spanked with dignity it was ok. I strongly condemn corporal punishment against children and disgusted and disappointed with pope Francis’s extremist and outdated disciplining views.Even conservative pope Benedict 16 did not talk in favour of child beating but it is shocking and surprising to hear this kind of Victorian practices in this 21st century.In my country Sri Lanka suicide is high and some school pupils have committed suicide due to various reasons including corporal punishment.Very recently a 12 year old Indian schoolboy committed suicide by hanging himself due to caning he suffered for exploding a stinkbomb at school.Psychologists have warned that corporal punishment is associated with many mental problems and pope Francis should improve his knowledge on child psychology and positive parenting skills. Think! Jesus did not even beat or scold the prostitute which was dragged to him which would otherwise have stoned to death according to dangerous old testament even though that was a time when when masters beat even adult servants and men were socially allowed to beat wives and sisters.
 
I am a born Sri Lankan Catholic and I respect holy father Francis and admire his simplicity.But yesterday I got the news from Cable News Network(CNN) that his holiness has spoken in favour of corporal punishment of children.He has been reportedly saying that if a child had been spanked with dignity it was ok. I strongly condemn corporal punishment against children and disgusted and disappointed with pope Francis’s extremist and outdated disciplining views.Even conservative pope Benedict 16 did not talk in favour of child beating but it is shocking and surprising to hear this kind of Victorian practices in this 21st century.In my country Sri Lanka suicide is high and some school pupils have committed suicide due to various reasons including corporal punishment.Very recently a 12 year old Indian schoolboy committed suicide by hanging himself due to caning he suffered for exploding a stinkbomb at school.Psychologists have warned that corporal punishment is associated with many mental problems and pope Francis should improve his knowledge on child psychology and positive parenting skills. Think! Jesus did not even beat or scold the prostitute which was dragged to him which would otherwise have stoned to death according to dangerous old testament even though that was a time when when masters beat even adult servants and men were socially allowed to beat wives and sisters.
Wow. I first heard of “caning” when there was a big deal about a US kid who vandalized a bunch of cars in a country where they did that. I first thought it was like “grandma with a switch” until I found learned how severe it was, and done my martial artists for maximum pain. And when they become unconscious they wake them up for the next one. At least that’s what I was told; correct me if I’m wrong.

Thank you for showing me a point of view I never would have seen otherwise, since my entire life experience is US-centric. 🙂
 
I think the Pope’s comments reflect his cultural background.

I know you are all going to assail me here, so I’ll make this brief - take it for what it is - but I have had animals (not kids) all my life and I have NEVER disciplined them harshly, horses, dogs, cats, etc. There is something to establishing and keeping authority in a compassionate, meaningful way. I am not saying I haven’t had really really frustrating problems with misbehavior, but I am actually pretty good at finding ways to solve them. So far anyway, and I’ve covered a lot of ground here.

I can see though with a wayward kid, why a parent would use physical discipline; I can’t see it working or constructively altering the behavior, just instilling obedience out of fear and anger. I know too many people who have successfully raised kids without resorting to physical discipline. Expand your horizon would be my advice. IMHO.
 
Wow. I first heard of “caning” when there was a big deal about a US kid who vandalized a bunch of cars in a country where they did that. I first thought it was like “grandma with a switch” until I found learned how severe it was, and done my martial artists for maximum pain. And when they become unconscious they wake them up for the next one. At least that’s what I was told; correct me if I’m wrong.

Thank you for showing me a point of view I never would have seen otherwise, since my entire life experience is US-centric. 🙂
This was about twenty years ago.

They only gave 4 strokes and nothing was said about the culprit becoming unconscious.

ICXC NIKA
 
Corporal punishment can easily become child psychological and physical abuse.
 
My parents were definitely not my friends when I was growing up. My mother never spanked; she would only allow herself to be pushed so far then it was “wait til your father gets home”. My father never swore and rarely spanked, but his anger was a truly fearsome thing to behold. They stuck to their guns, they planted their feet firmly, they picked the important battles and they would not be moved on those battles. I am way better off for it so I fully support the Pope in this. Here’s to two parent families as well… Remember those whom the Lord loves, He rebukes. So it is with parents and children.
 
So now people who spank their children are like animals?

Pardon me if I think you are making a deeply uninformed and ridiculous statement with that.

Animals don’t have a concept of disciplining their children. They don’t analyze what options that they have available and then implement it as need arises.

You seem to have this uninformed idea that parents that spank their kids are just reacting like some baboon or something and that is categorically wrong for most of us.

Just thought you should know before you let out an y more condescending and insulting comparisons, bro.
It was I that raised a comparison to animals to demonstrate that it occurs in nature to which Cross of Christ responded.

What I was trying to say was that I believe Pope Francis addresses hidden idealogies when he says what he says… not strictly current practical issues. Because of the fact of child abuse and the abuse of corporal punishment by authorities… I think that people have begun to believe that corporal punishment is an intrinsically evil thing, rather than having a place in human discipline under the right conditions.

That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t abolish it from schools and even its use in the family at some point. I personally never had much stomach for spanking my kids and only rarely ever used a hand on the bum… never an implement.

So I wasn’t suggesting that we act like the animals and do what they do for we know that they are beholden to survival of the species as their primary god where as human beings are beholden to God. But all the same, the majority of us as ignorant humans, are traditionally deterred from sin by the thought of the physical torments of hell and purgatory moreso than the spiritual separation from God.

That was my interpretation of why Pope Francis would make his comment regarding the use of corporal punishment. Moreso to counter the idealogical belief that it is intrinsically evil which has crept into our view of it.
 
Yes, corporal punishment/beating is a matter of culture. People in the West tend to oppose it but it is a very common practice in other countries.
And it seems to me that kids from cultures that endorse corporal punishment are usually well behaved, respectful, than kids from other areas.
 
I rather doubt her decisions are arbitrary, since pandas already have a problem feeding even one child and the fact that their species even exists now is testimony to one thing that every one of her ancestors made in common: every one lived long enough to reproduce. Watch practically any nature show and you will notice that whether animals live long enough to reproduce, has to do with survival skills that go beyond, let’s say, a preference for a certain veggie. She might kill for her favorite veggie (although Pandas don’t hardly eat anything other than bamboo) but I’m pretty sure her selection of which son to prefer has more to do with its ability to survive than some arbitrary decision.

People can get away with making stupid decisions because most of us no longer live in a society where only the physically strong survive and the weak ones fail to pass along their DNA. Basically we have non “natural predators” any more, so it would be a very “human” decision to make such a silly choice for which of three children she would allow to survive.

And please I’m not talking about abortion; I’m talking about babies who are old enough that the mothers form opinions on which ones are the strongest.

I could be totally wrong.
Basic FACT; comparing animals instinctive behavior to human rational behavior is an apples and oranges situation. Though some human beings are little more than animals, those who discipline and train their children for adulthood do not fall into that category.

For that look at the failures to teach and train, not the successes.
 
Yes, corporal punishment/beating is a matter of culture. People in the West tend to oppose it but it is a very common practice in other countries.
And it seems to me that kids from cultures that endorse corporal punishment are usually well behaved, respectful, than kids from other areas.
That is exactly right. The inability to use corporal punishment makes children have contempt for adult authority and fails to teach them that there are intolerable bounds in society.
 
I am a born Sri Lankan Catholic and I respect holy father Francis and admire his simplicity…I strongly condemn corporal punishment against children and disgusted and disappointed with pope Francis’s extremist and outdated disciplining views.Even conservative pope Benedict 16 did not talk in favour of child beating but it is shocking and surprising to hear this kind of Victorian practices in this 21st century.
Right. :rolleyes:
In my country Sri Lanka suicide is high and some school pupils have committed suicide due to various reasons including corporal punishment.Very recently a 12 year old Indian schoolboy committed suicide by hanging himself due to caning he suffered for exploding a stinkbomb at school.Psychologists have warned that corporal punishment is associated with many mental problems and pope Francis should improve his knowledge on child psychology and positive parenting skills. Think! Jesus did not even beat or scold the prostitute which was dragged to him which would otherwise have stoned to death according to dangerous old testament even though that was a time when when masters beat even adult servants and men were socially allowed to beat wives and sisters.
‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ totally counters and negates all the sheep-skinned academics on the planet.
 
This was about twenty years ago.

They only gave 4 strokes and nothing was said about the culprit becoming unconscious.

ICXC NIKA
This discussion was before that kid’s actual caning took place, so it was about the process itself as we were hearing stupidity from all sides on the issue. I think it was my dad who was explaining the process to me. Because all we were hearing from conservative commentators was all about how they were spanked, and this kid did a bad thing, and what’s the big deal about a few whips? I wondered what the big deal was, because I had some image of like a teacher with a paddle or something. Turns out it is a lot more than that.
 
Basic FACT; comparing animals instinctive behavior to human rational behavior is an apples and oranges situation. Though some human beings are little more than animals, those who discipline and train their children for adulthood do not fall into that category.

For that look at the failures to teach and train, not the successes.
Behaviorism in psychology, and many of the school policies coming out of it, were designed by behaviorists, studying lab rats.

And yes, if you treat kids like animals they will begin to act like animals. Turns out that the only school children who “follow the formulas” that they concoct from lab rat studies to a pretty strong degree, are autistic and “slower” students. That’s where all this time-out **** was done and about the time they started bribing kids with candy and pop for good behavior in school. And gum-chewing if you can believe that. The “good” kids got to chew gum in class from time to time.

From one class last semester I have a virtual lab rat “Sniffy” that we had to train to do different things, and I can actually put him in “timeout” for 24 hours, and then watch whether that changed his behavior. And guess what? Some of their behavior was changed “for the better” during those time-out periods. Another thing was that if the rat was scared of a light coming on because it meant an electric shock, and then you just present the light without the shock, eventually the rat gets used to it and quit demonstrating freezing behavior. Put him in 24 hours of timeout and show him the light then, and the fear is renewed. So yeah, it must be a good idea to have kids sit in time-out because maybe then they’ll respond better to teachers’ verbal threats. Yeah, so this is how we designed school policy. With animals. And that’s half the reason, in my opinion, that so many humans act like animals.

Here’s another person’s screen shot of Sniffy in his Skinner box. This Sniffy looks exactly like my Sniffy because he runs off the same software.



But the behaviorists intentionally and loudly ignored anything “inside” the head. It was all about behavior modification through various forms of incentives and punishments. They chided other psychologists because they were studying how people think because it was not directly and objectively observable. This, of course, was before we had things like fMRI to observe brain activity directly.

As it turns out, kids who performed average or above were pretty indifferent to these. Giving them candy here and there had very little effect on their school performance or their behavior. Turns out the kids who were doing better either didn’t care about the incentives, or they learned to game the system. But that didn’t stop them. Behavior mod became the norm, because we used what we learned from rats and applied it to children.

You’re the one who brought up references to animals, as if they were somehow more noble than humans. 🤷

Now let’s look at your comments that you made to another poster, that inspired me to compare behavior with animals:
So now people who spank their children are like animals?

Pardon me if I think you are making a deeply uninformed and ridiculous statement with that.

Animals don’t have a concept of disciplining their children. They don’t analyze what options that they have available and then implement it as need arises.

You seem to have this uninformed idea that parents that spank their kids are just reacting like some baboon or something and that is categorically wrong for most of us.

Just thought you should know before you let out an y more condescending and insulting comparisons, bro.
I was just offering an example of an animal who “analyzes her options” so why are you getting your panties in a wad about it?

I guess you just wanted more people to be against you so you could tell us we’re condescending and insulting in making the comparisons? Psychologists made those comparisons for decades and that’s both part of the solution but also a big part of the problem. Parents and teachers were getting lectured about how to “modify behavior” and all this stuff became as gospel.

So yes we have been treating them like animals, and the other poster was right in hoping we could rise above such behavior.

You should be on my side in this, but of course you aren’t because you’ve chosen not to be. Please give me your next insult so that I can decide whether I need to try to one-up it.

Either that or just make your point if you have one.
 
RGCheek’s rather passionate defense of corporal punishment (at least in the post directed at me) surprised me and got me thinking again. Am I wrong in thinking that violence begets violence? The idea of a cycle of violence is almost overused now, so it will likely be dismissed by proponents of corporal punishment, but I maintain it is still a valid point. We teach our kids to solve problems with violence when we hit them. It is true, children often hit others without ever being hit themselves (could it be instinctual? Like an animal?), but we parents can either discourage or reinforce this violent behavior by our response.

Now I suspect in this case the Pope was just speaking off-the-cuff again, encouraging what he considered to be loving parental involvement in the lives of their children, and certainly not attempting to establish a Theology of Corporal Punishment.

So I submit 2 links, one based on a Catholic Bishops’ statement on corporal punishment, and the other his own consideration, both from family counselor and Catholic psychologist Greg Popcak:

patheos.com/blogs/faithonthecouch/2013/07/catholic-bishops-weigh-in-on-corporal-punishment/

nospank.net/popcak.htm
 
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