Hey BlueSprite, just a few things which I believe you might have mistaken about the popes remarks. The pope simply says this - that what might be found in some of these people using condoms is a desire to prevent harm to other individuals. The action they do is clearly not conducive to this goal - in fact it is contradictory - but the fact that their is a contradicting force to the evil in a person is for the pope a sign of hope of the possible conversion of that person. HE DID NOT SAY THAT THE USE OF A CONDOM IN ORDER TO PREVENT THE SPREAD OF DISEASE WAS RIGHT NOR BENEFICIAL. He simply states that it is the concern of preventing disease, a good, which could be a first step to greater awareness of morality and good and a leaving behind of evil acts.
Hi there! Yeah thanks I do get it…I understand but, well, I look at this way:
Say you have a little boy and he’s really overweight. You love him to death, he’s a great kid, but he’s gotta lose weight as it’s affecting his health. So one day you’re standing in the kitchen and little Johnny goes and opens the freezer and steals a pudding pop. Now he knows he’s not supposed to have them until after dinner…but he steals one and he comes up to you and gives you a hug and say “thanks Mom (or Dad)!” and walks away.
Now as a parent, do you praise Johnny for giving you the hug? Sure you know he’s not a bad kid…he has good in him…but he shouldn’t be eating before dinner, AND he really shouldn’t be eating pudding pops as they’re not good for him! Do you ignore his opening the fridge, eating a pudding pop, and then sauntering off? Or do you tell him he’s a good kid and his intent to do good is recognizable?
I guess my point is that when we want to curb behavior, it’s generally not beneficial to give positive reinforcement to those actions which are enmeshed with the negative behavior. Simply because those words and those beliefs CAN be taken out of context…and mostly likely they will be.
Yes people have good in them, therefore good intentions too. Little Johnny has good intentions. But stealing from the freezer was wrong, and his parents need to let him know that what he did was wrong.
And they should
expect that he won’t do it again.
If they were to thank Johnny for the hug and also scold him for entering the freezer, chances are Johnny will get confused and not get the message.
Now, no doubt Mom and Dad love Johnny and see all the good in him and what he’s capable of, but in this instance, I don’t think they need to
tell Johnny how much they love him…rather, they should try and adjust his
behavior and thus assist him in not doing it again. They should *expect *that Johnny won’t do it again.
For in expecting he won’t do it again they’re effectively saying “Hey, I believe in you. I believe you can stop eating pudding pops. I believe you’re capable of not sneaking into the freezer. I think you have the strength to stop.”
This would give Johnny extra faith in himself, to see that his parents view him with these eyes.
But if instead they were to concede and accept that he WILL do it again, that because of this they need to find the good in the act, then in a way, they’ve already been defeated and are causing Johnny a grave disservice because they’re effectively saying:
“Johnny I don’t believe you can or will stop, but I don’t want you to feel bad about yourself so I’m telling you you’re a good kid and I love you anyway.”
Now that’s all well and good to tell Johnny that…but it’s not going to help him from sneaking into the freezer.
See what I mean?