prayer before lovemaking?

[4blessings]

I am totally shocked at the posts on this topic. IMO if you have full understanding of what the marriage embrace is, it would only seem natural to invite the LOrd into your bedroom before making love with your spouse. I am not saying that you need to sit or lay there and say a long prayer, but come on, it is not a bizarre thing in the least. My Dh and I dont say a lo ng prayer, but we do make the sign of the cross before we make love. FOr us it is away of acknowledgment and thanksgiving for GOd who created this for us, ( we did not have sex before we were married, so we are very greatful of this wonderful act we can now participate in) and we just ask that if a child is concieved that it be a healthy baby. We dont actually say that, but we talked about it once and we know that is what we both mean. Maybe for those of you who think it weird, maybe you should try it, you never know what blessings it may bring.

 

[newbetx]

to those getting married? it is like you pushed them to sinning. their praying before doing it did not justify it. sex is exclusively for married couples for it to be ethically acceptable (for civilly wed), morally acceptable and sacramentally salvific (for wedded couple in the Catholic Church).

I suggest you read the whole post before responding… My comment was about Pre-Cana courses. Not sex.

As for mixing prayer and sex. It really sounded strange to me, too. But then I read TGNAS&M and let me tell you, it makes all sorts of sense now! Read and become enlightened!

 

[kristie_m]

I’m a virgin, but I would feel awkward saying a prayer before that. I’d feel like God would be watching us.

I had to laugh when I saw this. A friend of mine had given my husband and I a book called “prayers for married couples”. In it was a prayer for those who desire children. After praying it I felt REALLY weird. It’s one thing to know that God is watching, another thing to actively invite him into the marriage act. Fortunately, I got over it, and nine months later gave birth to our first daughter.

It seems really awkward at first, and nothing says you need to do it every time you make love, but the weirdness goes away…I actually found myself praying DURING the act once. (And no, it was not a prayer of "please, God, let him be done soon!)

Sorry, that may have been too much information, but just the point, that once you figure out inviting God in doesn’t mean He’s going to be there in the corner keeping score, praying beforehand doesn’t feel so weird.

 

[deb1]

Sex is a beautiful, wonderful act in marriage and I truly understand its holiness. If a couple wants to pray before hand, sure go ahead. I don’t feel the need to do so as the act of sex is a prayer. For me, praying before sex won’t add anything to my marriages sex life and would seem forced.

This might sound weird but I have prayed that God helped me get into the mood when I am tired or worn out. For me, this has always worked. But I could see how some people might find praying for increased libido odd.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Yes. Pray before love making.

Whether we feel comfortable with it or not, the Holy Spirit is there during the marital act, “The Lord the Giver of Life”

God created sex as the way we procreate. It is not dirty, bad, evil. It is beautiful, it is mysterious, it is the way we as mere mortals enter into God’s creative powers. We cooperate with God.

So pray.
It can be silent.

It really is important to a marriage. (although I can understand if it doesn’t seem easy. Just try)

 

[newbetx]

I am totally shocked at the posts on this topic. IMO if you have full understanding of what the marriage embrace is, it would only seem natural to invite the LOrd into your bedroom before making love with your spouse. I am not saying that you need to sit or lay there and say a long prayer, but come on, it is not a bizarre thing in the least. My Dh and I dont say a lo ng prayer, but we do make the sign of the cross before we make love. FOr us it is away of acknowledgment and thanksgiving for GOd who created this for us, ( we did not have sex before we were married, so we are very greatful of this wonderful act we can now participate in) and we just ask that if a child is concieved that it be a healthy baby. We dont actually say that, but we talked about it once and we know that is what we both mean. Maybe for those of you who think it weird, maybe you should try it, you never know what blessings it may bring.

Good for you! For those that aren’t there yet, we need to remember that there are a lot of misconceptions about sex out there. Some say: “No church or God in the Bedroom for us.” But with testimony like yours, maybe we can turn that around! Really, folks, TOB is a really great perspective on something that our current culture has warped into selfishness.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Father Larry Richards has a story about someone who heard him suggest that couples should pray before they make love. Anyone, some guy he knew who was single was in bed with a woman and well towards fornication when he remembered that Fr Larry suggested prayer, so he asked the woman if she minded if they stopped and prayed. The good news if I recall correctly is that they never completed the act. So perhaps the idea of prayer before making love should be more promoted.

The story is on one of Fr. Larry’s mp3 files that is floating around the internet.

I remember that story as I have heard it a few times as I have many of his mp3s. He is amazing and makes great points about this very issue.

Do we not undertand what sex is or how it relates to our relationship with God and His Son?

The marital embrace is one of the closest ways that we (here on earth) can get to our Heavenly Father. Similar to receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. You say “Amen” before receiving the Body of Christ, correct? Is that not a prayer? He tells us “take this all of you…this is my body, given up for you.” Is that not what we tell our spouses when we make love? This is my body given up for you.

I, too, cannot believe some of the responses. To think that you must stop right in the middle of the act and get on your knees and pray, would be strange I agree. But what about asking the Lord to be with you (since He is there anyway) and praying for His will. Being open to life? Being open to His will? Would it be awkward, not if you understand what the sexual union is all about it would not be.

Fr. Larry and Christopher West do a great job of explaining prayer before making love.

Mind you, I agree with what they are saying and wish that I could practice it, can not say that we have, but in theory it makes a lot of sense and could only help to increase the most intimate moment that a husband a wife share and bring them that much closer to our Lord in that moment.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

to those getting married? it is like you pushed them to sinning. their praying before doing it did not justify it. sex is exclusively for married couples for it to be ethically acceptable (for civilly wed), morally acceptable and sacramentally salvific (for wedded couple in the Catholic Church).

Seems like you may have misread something here?

 

[mschrank]

My wife and I said a prayer on our wedding night- like in Tobit.

But each time? No… Prayer does not get me turned on.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Hello … Recently I’ve heard that there are Catholic couples who say a prayer together before each time they make love.

Is this something that has caught on? Are there many people who do this?

Catholics are encouraged to “offer it up” - it usually understood as offering up our sufferings. But we can offer everything up including our joys.

Depending on one’s dispostion your covered.

 

[Seatuck]

I know that was a bad way to put it, but I’d feel his presence more after the prayer. It gives me a feeling of peace and solitude, and I think I would find that hard to reconcile during intimate situations.

Do read that book by Christopher West. God is supposed to be there for lovemaking. That’s one of the points of it spouses are inviting him there to renew their marital covenant and to gift them with a child if it is his will. It’s a beautiful thing.

 

[jwashu]

We have defintiely prayed before “being together” especially while trying to get pregnant.

While we haven’t read West’s book yet we went to a seminar on it and enjoyed the theology a lot. As we are working on moving from our old Protestant ways (ABC from time to time) to NFP I see us praying before more often.

For those that this it’s weird, remember that sex is not bad nor dirty in the correct context, within the bonds of a Sacramental Marraige.

God gave it to us for both procreation and pleasure. The loved exchanged and the possibility of life created helps mirror the Love between the Father and the Son from which the Holy Spirit proceeds.

Joe

 

[leahbrahms]

I have to tell you (and I’ve heard this from another Christian couple) - I’ve had prayer with my husband be a real turn-on! When I’m feeling especially close to God, I know I am so much closer to DH.

The Eucharist especially: it’s rare that we don’t come home after Sunday morning Mass eager to make love. It’s great!

When I know that DH wants to make love and I’m not quite ready yet, a quick prayer and it’s my love for God through my husband that helps me to say that “yes” and make the effort. And it’s always worth it.

I will admit that DH and I have never had a formal prayer explicitly before intending to make love (although prayer has led to lovemaking). We do often thank God for each other beforehand, though, which is prayer of a sort.

Our lovemaking has skyrocketed once we invited God. I’d recommend it to any married couple!

 

[natsclem]

Simply wrong. Sorry. But simply wrong.

First, newbetx suggested premarital counseling and preparation six months’ prior to marriage, even those who are non-Catholic. What’s wrong with that?

Secondly, how are non-Catholic married couples who are legally married sinning by the marital embrace? The Church considers non-Cahtolics validly married however they got married, including in a civil ceremony, if each part of the couple is marrying for the first time. it is why, if a non-Catholic divorces and wants to marry somebody else in the Church, the non-Catholic has to go through the decree of nullity proceedure before the Non-Catholic can marry the Catholic, to determine if ther was a valid marriage.

Well as newbetx clarified it…I thought the response was directly addressed to the main topic.

As to your other comments… Civil wedding is not a sacrament. legally speaking, civilly wed couple having sex is of course not sinning against the law of the state–that’s legal. However, it is only Church wedding that makes the act sacramental and salvific. If a Catholic couple, married by the state only, engages in sex, they are fornicating and cannot receive Holy Communion. It is not the State that was given the keys of the kingdom of heaven, the power to bind and loose–it is the Church.

So prayer before lovemaking has only meaning if the couple is sacramentally married. It is like making an offering of consummating the marital covenant to the Triune God which He blessed and blesses.

 

[EsclavoDeCristo]

Hello … Recently I’ve heard that there are Catholic couples who say a prayer together before each time they make love.

Is this something that has caught on? Are there many people who do this?

My wife and I prayed on our wedding night. However, we do not pray every time… “Woah, slow down Sweetheart we need to pray first…” That just might make things kind of awkward.

 

[1234]

I couldn’t do it – it would feel so awkward it would get me out of the mood.

At our Pre-Cana retreat, one of the (very earnest and well-meaning) volunteer couples gave each couple a little red plastic votive with a little tealight candle in it, and told us to say prayers before and after “being together” and to light this prayer candle during the actual act.

I think we ended up using the candle as part of our Christmas decor.

Yes, I know, I’m awful, but if we’d actually done what they suggested, I think my marriage might still be unconsummated.

~Jaden(name removed by moderator)

P.S. But my husband used to have a picture of his parents on his night table too, and I asked him to put it in another room. Seeing their smiling faces during, ahem, “being together” was kind of weird for me too.

so embarrassed

Sounds like a great way to start a fire.

Sounds like someone is trying to make what* they* think is a dirty act less dirty.

Disregard this bad advice.

 

[GregoryPalamas]

It does seem that if we are living as though we are redeemed then praying before love making would be the most natural and beautiful thing one might ever do. We have never done this but I think I’ll bring it up with my wife.

CDL

 

[Gisella]

Well as newbetx clarified it…I thought the response was directly addressed to the main topic.

As to your other comments… Civil wedding is not a sacrament. legally speaking, civilly wed couple having sex is of course not sinning against the law of the state–that’s legal. However, it is only Church wedding that makes the act sacramental and salvific. If a Catholic couple, married by the state only, engages in sex, they are fornicating and cannot receive Holy Communion. It is not the State that was given the keys of the kingdom of heaven, the power to bind and loose–it is the Church.

So prayer before lovemaking has only meaning if the couple is sacramentally married. It is like making an offering of consummating the marital covenant to the Triune God which He blessed and blesses.

If a couple was married outdoors in a christian ceremony are they fornicating in the eyes of God?

 

[newbetx]

Let’s focus on this question, OK?

 

[natsclem]

If a couple was married outdoors in a christian ceremony are they fornicating in the eyes of God?

What outdoors in a Christian ceremony? In the Philippines, the local bishops forbids solemnizing marriages outdoors, I don’t know in your country.

Or do you mean outside the Catholic Church? It depends, if it is an Orthodox wedding, that’s sacrament, which is recognized by the Catholic Church as valid. But if they are married in Methodist or other protestant denominations, their marriage is just like a civil wedding. Methodist don’t even believe it as a sacrament. Besides, the protestants don’t have apostolic succession to guarantee that they have the authority of Christ to bind and loose, which he entrusted to Peter and the rest of the apostles, succeeded by the Pope and the bishops. The Catholic priests are authorized by their bishops to solemnize weddings–binding you and your spouse in God’s covenant to one another till death do you part.

If the solemnizing minister has no authority from Christ but by appropriating such authority by themselves, then couples cannot have the guarantee that their union is holy and salvific in God’s eyes and therefore it is sinful. But, if by reason of invincible ignorance they believe that the solemnizing minister has divine authority, then their union may not be sinful. We can consider the role of conscience here. But, again, there is no guarantee…

If I wanted that my sexual life would be salvific and at the same time enjoyable, nothing should keep me from getting married in the Catholic Church.