prayer before lovemaking?

  • Thread starter Thread starter johnsmith2025
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
If it were Anglican or Orthodox it would be Sacramenta right?

So you’re saying that the Church views a wedding performed by a Christian minister the same way it views a wedding performed by a justice of the peace?

I should probably start a new thread on this because I don’t want to take the thread too off-topic.
 
johnsmith2025 said:
Hello … Recently I’ve heard that there are Catholic couples who say a prayer together before each time they make love.

Is this something that has caught on? Are there many people who do this?
Click to expand...
I don’t like it.
 
If you say a morning offering, which gives all your “prayers, works, joys, and sufferings” to God, then you’ve already included your love-making (presumably one of the “joys”) in this prayer.
 
Interesting little tidbit, though maybe somewhat off-topic:

There was once a common custom for priests to bless the nuptial bed after the wedding. I read of some traditions where during the bride and groom would lay in a bed at the reception (though only symbolic, not meant to actually be used at that time) while everyone would applaud and the priest would bless them and prayers would be offered for a fruitful marriage.

This perhaps stems from a custom among the European royal families. On the night of the wedding of a monarch or heir
to the throne the court would gather in the nuptial bed chamber and applaud the royal couple as they lay in bed and recieved the blessing. The bed curtains would then be drawn and the couple expected to consumate the marriage with the entire royal court standing around them…
Cara_Serrano said:
Does yelling out “Oh God, Oh God” count as a prayer?
Click to expand...
I just had to get a little laugh out of this one 😛
 
Caesar said:
Interesting little tidbit, though maybe somewhat off-topic:
The bed curtains would then be drawn and the couple expected to consumate the marriage with the entire royal court standing around them…
Click to expand...
EEEEEEEEEK!!!

Talk about performance anxiety!!! :eek:
 
Yeah, the whole court standing around would be a little awkward!

As for the original question, I guess I’m another one in the minority… DH and I never say a formal prayer out loud, but I actually do talk to God a little bit beforehand. Usually I silently ask that if He desires a new life to be created from this act, then His will be done.

It may sound odd, but I guess I see it this way: I’m saying Yes to my DH for the act, and I also am saying Yes to God for any life He may create from it.

It completes and fulfills what the marriage act was created for as both a unitive and procreative expression of love.
 
Gisella said:
So you’re saying that the Church views a wedding performed by a Christian minister the same way it views a wedding performed by a justice of the peace?

I should probably start a new thread on this because I don’t want to take the thread too off-topic.
Click to expand...
At the risk of being off-topic, I want to respond to this question just so it’s not unanswered.

No, it’s not true that the Catholic Church does not recognize any wedding performed by a non-Catholic minister or justice of the peace.

Non-Catholics are not bound to observe the Catholic form of marriage. Any two Christians may enter into a sacramental marriage (whether it is with a justice of the peace, in a church, in the park, etc.) if they fulfill the requirements for a valid marriage, such as freedom of consent, intention of fidelity, indissolubility, etc.
Jim_Blackburn said:
Non-Catholics are not under the authority of canon law concerning marriage so marriages between non-Catholics are generally recognized to be valid unless proven otherwise. Some of these marriages are sacramental (when both parties are baptized) and some are not (when one or both are not baptized).
Click to expand...
Check out the FAQ about marriage in the “Ask an Apologist” forum for more.
 
Two recommendations:
  1. Read the prayer of Tobias on his wedding night with Sarah - Tobit 8:4-8. This suggests a biblical precedent for prayer before sex.
  2. “Holy Sex” by Dr. Gregory Popcak - I cannot recommend highly enough that you buy and read this book with your spouse. This is the best practical book on sex from a Catholic viewpoint I have ever seen. He recommends prayer before sex. It doesn’t have to be long and disruptive, but something that invites God into your union. Since the union of husband and wife is meant to reveal God, inviting him in makes the most sense. Even something as brief as, “Lord, be with us” would do. But don’t be afraid of his presence in your love-making. Holy sex is mind-blowing!
 
Only once - on our wedding night. DH is an agnostic, and praying a Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet with me was his wedding gift (I suspect a similar gift for our fourth anniversary today ;)).

If he was Catholic, absolutely. I’ve been known to pray before/after on my own, and DH is fine with that - and God is always welcome in our bedroom.

We were both familiar with the basics of Theology of the Body before we married. So the idea seems quite natural to us.
 
michaeljw said:
  1. Read the prayer of Tobias on his wedding night with Sarah - Tobit 8:4-8. This suggests a biblical precedent for prayer before sex.
Click to expand...
That was actually one of the readings we chose for our wedding. It is so very beautiful.

Although, the priest who married us did say in his homily that he doubted we would be making such a long prayer before we went to bed that night. 😊 Got a big laugh out of everyone, and I hat to say it, but he was right. 😛
 
michaeljw said:
Two recommendations:
  1. Read the prayer of Tobias on his wedding night with Sarah - Tobit 8:4-8. This suggests a biblical precedent for prayer before sex.
  2. “Holy Sex” by Dr. Gregory Popcak - I cannot recommend highly enough that you buy and read this book with your spouse. This is the best practical book on sex from a Catholic viewpoint I have ever seen. He recommends prayer before sex. …
Click to expand...
From the Book of Tobiah, Chapter 8…
,Tobiah arose from bed and said to his wife, “My love, get up. Let us pray and beg our Lord to have mercy on us and to grant us deliverance.”

She got up, and they started to pray and beg that deliverance might be theirs. He began with these words: "Blessed are you, O God of our fathers; praised be your name forever and ever. Let the heavens and all your creation praise you forever.

You made Adam and you gave him his wife Eve to be his help and support; and from these two the human race descended. You said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; let us make him a partner like himself.’

Now, Lord, you know that I take this wife of mine not because of lust, but for a noble purpose. Call down your mercy on me and on her, and allow us to live together to a happy old age."

They said together, “Amen, amen,”
 
4blessings said:
I am totally shocked at the posts on this topic. IMO if you have full understanding of what the marriage embrace is, it would only seem natural to invite the LOrd into your bedroom before making love with your spouse. I am not saying that you need to sit or lay there and say a long prayer, but come on, it is not a bizarre thing in the least. My Dh and I dont say a lo ng prayer, but we do make the sign of the cross before we make love. FOr us it is away of acknowledgment and thanksgiving for GOd who created this for us, ( we did not have sex before we were married, so we are very greatful of this wonderful act we can now participate in) and we just ask that if a child is concieved that it be a healthy baby. We dont actually say that, but we talked about it once and we know that is what we both mean. Maybe for those of you who think it weird, maybe you should try it, you never know what blessings it may bring.
Click to expand...
I agree. While my husband and I don’t necessarily plan to pray before sex, it does usually happen as we pray each night before bed. And I have noticed an increase in the wonderfulness and intimacy we’ve found together, both during the day and during the marital embrace. Just my two cents.
 
At least from my hotel stays I know MANY people, especially women, pray DURING sex.

😃
 
I would like to make a couple of suggestions for reading and instruction, for those who have not been taught what God intended in a sacramental marriage, and who are uncertain what it means to bring God into the marital act of sex. Our Late Pope John Paul II wrote a book on it.

First please read the book “Good News about Sex and Marriage” Answers to your Honest Questions about Catholic Teachings, by: Christopher West. An absolutely FANTASTIC book. (you can purchase it used on Amazon too)

Then go to this web site giftfoundation.org/ and download for free the series by Christopher West “Naked without Shame”.

Mr West is on a mission to teach what Pope John Paul wrote in his book “Theology of the Body”, in terms we can all understand. Everyone needs to be taught this properly especially from within the home to our children.

His downloads are FREE because he has a passion for teaching the truth about the beauty of the union of a sacramental marriage, and what it means to bring Christ into the bedroom. And it is not all just about sex, there is so much more.

If you are single, this book makes you want to stay chaste, just so you can have that beautiful gift God has intended for you.

I can’t say enough about this book and the downloads. If I could afford to purchase a case of these books just to hand them out, I would. It is what EVERY Catholic needs to be taught.

I believe these teachings are going to catch on like a fire in our society (at least I pray they do). There are Protestant churches that are even taking a look at these teachings to implement in their congregations, because they are done so well. And of course teach the truth.

Anyhow, I could go on and on about it. I hope everyone gets the opportunity to at least read the book. Peace.
 
I once caught my MIL-to-be (who had known hangups about sex) reading the Tobias story to my future husband as a way of not-so-subtlety suggesting we should abstain from sex the first three nights after our wedding. We were both virgins and were waiting in loving anticipation for the joys of our wedding night. I highly resented my MIL’s efforts, and it was all I could do not to point out to her that if I had had six previous husbands die on our wedding nights, waiting for three nights and praying would make sense. 😃 Sheeesh!!

On the subject of prayer before lovemaking…no, we don’t, but only because we consider our lovemaking to be a prayer, so it would feel redundant and artificial to us. If a couple finds it enhances their lovemaking, by all means----go for it. If it’s not helpful, that’s fine, too.
 
Every time, now; usually together and verbal, occasionally silent. If He is the lord of your life, and He created us male and female as an image of trinitarian life and love, sex is a part of His creation, and it’s very good. Why would you not want God to be a part of your lovemaking and specifically invite Him in to that aspect of your life?

The Good News by West is a great book, and I’ve heard good things about Fulton Sheen’s “Three to Get Married” as well.

Just to be clear, I don’t have this all figured out - - I really struggle in many areas to make Christ the lord of my life.
 
I have heard of some couples doing this, but I think it would be a major turn off. I mean God is our heavenly father and I wouldn’t want my parents in my room whilst making love, so I wouldn’t want God there either. Well I would, but I wouldn’t want to think about him in the bedroom.

Saying that whilst my hubby and I were trying for a baby I would pray after we had made love that God would bless us with a child and he ha… I am am 25 weeks pregnant,
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top