Besides, I’ve found that quietly avoiding visiting people who “shack up” is far less harsh than other reactions that could be had (I mean, at other family gatherings, you speak and are civil, right?)
Of course!
If I was mean and ignored them, then I’d really be guilty of shunning, and I know that’s no way to show people the Truth and that you love them.
And as far as because Jesus visited the homes of sinners that you should too, please remember that Jesus’ visits had happy endings: they converted; will your visits convert them?
There’s always the hope of conversion, but I doubt simply going over to their homes would convert them. If I thought that simply showing up and visiting them would convert everyone, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Jesus could also see into everyone’s hearts, and knew who would convert before He visited, which has quite the advantage.
Maybe I’m just getting frustrated about the way the world is, but maybe people who “shack up” need to feel more heat and have the stigmas brought back, because the lack of stigmas is only contributing to the explosion of cohabitationing.
Cohabitation, abortion, no-fault divorce, unwed parenthood, oh yeah, my list could go on… I totally get what you’re saying. It is frustrating.
A full year ago, a switch went off for me and we started abstaining. So, we were living together, sharing a bed, but with no physical intimacy. We started our marriage prep with my church and all seemed good.
A couple months ago I moved out. I needed to do the right thing, to set the right example. Not an easy thing to do, not easy for my fiance to understand. But I was able to do it with the support of my family who stood with me through it all.
This is OUTSTANDING!! You have definitely made the right decision; God bless you.
But it was more their example and their way of presenting it to me that helped me to listen. Anything stronger and I probably would have remarried again sooner. Anthing less and I would still be living with my fiance.
In my life, I see God working through all around me in different ways. God will help you make the right decision with this.
Thank you for your encouragement. I know there’s a balance to all these things, it’s finding that balance that’s challenging.
My wife is Arabic by ethnicity, and thus explaining the “sand” part of that slur. I don’t know, honestly I think I perfer the blunt honest expression to the family gatherings I’ve seen where groups of people that obviously hate eachother feel it neccessary to get together and be phoney about it.
That’s true. If someone truly didn’t like me, I’d want to know, rather than have them pretend everything was okay. But there are ways of being honest that don’t involve insulting people and resorting to name calling, which I’m sure you know, already.
Is your husband’s friend’s fiancee a practicing Catholic? Is it possible that she left the Faith? If she did, does that alter your decision in any way? If this friend were marrying a Protestant, would you attend the wedding?
I don’t know how often DH’s best friend’s girlfriend attends Mass, but the fact that she is Catholic remains. She has not formally renounced her faith, so she is still Catholic. If she formally left the Church (letter to the Bishop and all that jazz), then she would cease to be Catholic and Canon Law would no longer apply to her. I still would not approve of a cohabiting relationship prior to marriage, but I assume I would be free to attend her wedding outside the Church. Of course I would attend a Protestant wedding. (I am attending my sister’s wedding, remember? And she’s not even Christian.) What does that have to do with Catholics invalidly marrying?
If my friends are co-habitating, it wouldn’t really be any of my business.That’s between them and their higher power (or lack there-of). If my co-habitating friends got married, I would rejoice for them.
I guess that’s one of the big areas where I disagree with a lot of people. I don’t believe sins are “just between me and God,” I believe that each person’s sins affect the entire body of Christ, of which we are all a part. Sin hurts all of us, not just the individual who committed the sin. If this is not Church teaching, I would love to be re-educated.
I suppose the biggest problem here is simply failing to understand the difference between condemning and making a moral judgement.
My DH did warn me of this exact problem. He said it would be very difficult to explain the difference between these two things, especially to non-religious people. I think you really nailed it, CCM08.
Good to have you here!