"Pride Month" and Where to Turn: Limits of Cultural Engagement

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OurLadyDaughter

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I do my best to avoid overtly anti-Catholic and anti-life businesses and organizations such as Starbucks, but today my favorite Major Leauge Baseball team jumped on the bandwagon and gave an award to what is essentially a pro-gay marriage PAC in honor of “Pride Month”. My husband’s employer just posted all over social media about “diversity” today in support of this political movement as well.

What am I to do? I feel like I’m supposed to cut off the team I’ve supported my whole life and is a source of connection between me and my family. Are my husband supposed to work for Christian-only companies (nearly impossible in both our industries)?

I feel like part of this is mere social pressure and virtue signaling and I should just grit my teeth and live with different opinions. I know I would want others to respect my opinion and freedom. But what is giving space for other’s beliefs, and what is refusing to participate in what is opposed to Catholicism? How do we balance engaging others and just withdrawing from much of the culture? What would Christ have us do? Didn’t He eat with sinners? I know I feel cut off, rejected, and silenced when I’m not hired because of my faith or pro-life speakers are disinvited from campus events. Where is the line?

I’m heartbroken and feel assailed on every side of the culture. How do the rest of you handle this?

Thanks for your thoughts.
 
I learned decades ago to sort out what I could change and what I could not, and I chose to work on the things I could change.

I also learned to “let go and let God” with the things I could not change.

About 45 years ago I represented a young (18) year old woman three times on prostitution charges; and I tried everything I could think of to get her turned around (she would ricochet between her mother, who beat the snot out of her, and her pimp, who beat the snot out of her); that included trying to get her into a program with women who were working with prostitutes to help them get a sense of self worth.

The fourth time I had any contact was when I attended the murder trial of the individual who killed her.

I understand your complaints. Life is not fair, and it looks like evil is winning.

I would suggest the prayer “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

You certainly are welcome to drop the MLB team; you are even welcome to start a boycott of them. However, I seriously doubt you are going to change them; and you are not doing moral evil by watching them if for no other reason than that the decision to support the gay marriage PAC was made a whole lot higher than the guys on the team playing the game.

I wish you perspective; and I hope the prayer can help you to achieve that.
 
OurLadyDaughter said:
How do we balance engaging others and just withdrawing from much of the culture?
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I haven’t thought very deeply about it or gone to great lengths to engage others, but I think the key is to seek understanding and engage others at the personal level, not at the social/cultural level.

How would you engage a brother, sister, son, or daughter who comes out as gay/lesbian/trans? Perhaps you could listen to them with charity, neither approving nor condemning. Perhaps hear and understand their anxieties, fears, needs, and hopes. At all times recognize that they are a human being, created and loved by God.

The Catechism says, “They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity.” What does “accepted” mean to you in this context?
 
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But that’s exactly how I approach those who identify this way. Many, many people in my life are gay/tras/etc. I DO love them as they are. I have charity in my heart for them. I hope they come to the Church. I do not discriminate against them; they are human beings who were created by God.

At the same time, activities such as this are political, and not person to person. Political movements such as these are inherently anti-Christian since they push not just ACCEPTANCE but VALIDATION. I do not think that donating to a pro-gay marriage group squares with Church teaching, but treating my gay co-worker exactly the same as my heterosexual co-worker does. There is a difference.
 
These are wise words, my friend. Thank you for sharing your perspective and experience. That is helpful. God bless you for sharing this.
 
I kind of dodged your question about your baseball team or your husband’s employer. I think you can, with a clean conscience, enjoy baseball and gainful employment, but discreetly refrain from jumping on the bandwagon and cheering the cultural “pride” movement.
 
Thanks so much for this. I think this is something a lot of people are struggling with. If I just shut up, I feel like that’s consent, and many will (purposefully) misinterpret an objection as “Oh, I guess you hate gay people and are okay with them being beaten in the streets!” Of course not! But on the other hand, we can’t very well completely unplug ourselves from the culture, and Christ did make a big point of mixing with those who were sinning. And as I mentioned, I can’t figure out what is endorsement and what is just “live and let live.” I want to thank you very much for adding your thoughts on this. It’s a tough one and I want to do the right thing, as you do as well, obviously.
 
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We must love people, welcome people, validate people, and do mercy towards people while also encouraging them to overcome their sins as nobody is perfect.

Everyone has a rule to play in Salvation History, it is a matter of if we accept our calling or not. All are welcomed to the table, the question is who decides to sit down
 
It’s true all are welcome, but I think there’s a difference between validating people and validating actions. Gay pride events are a specific political agenda which promote validation of activities which are contrary to Catholic teaching. Are there any secular gay pride proclamations, parades, or social media messages stating that gay people are called to chastity? People experiencing SSA are called to this. We can treat them with dignity, love, and charity as befits a human being created by God without participating in validation of a sexually active lifestyle.

The hate-filled, ill-informed, and specifically anti-Catholic responses to this tweet are telling.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1134784500372770817
 
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I am glad that you started this thread. Our city has declared Pride Month (LGBTQ), and one of the activities that occurred yesterday was a “Drag Parade.” I find this sickening. If LGBTQ groups want to have events like this in private, fine, but for men who are not trans to parade down the street dressed up like women–this is awful! It’s insulting to women! And if it’s OK, then why isn’t it OK for white people to wear Halloween costumes of their favorite black characters? Or to wear blackface and parade down the street?

I think you have a good perspective on the issue and some good action plans.

I agree with BIshop Tobin–do not attend any Pride events, and I guess that might include attending baseball games with your favorite team for the month of June because there will probably be public Pride events and recognitions at the games.
If you just watch them on TV, that might be OK–perhaps you could pray during any broadcasting of any Pride events? I’m guessing that there are players on the team who share your convictions, but because they have to earn a living, they keep quiet. They’re just the players, not the team owners, so they’re in the same boat as McDonald’s employees.

I like your idea of a Chastity parade! Why not?! I know that a lot of the Protestant groups started “True Love Waits” campaigns, and there are lots of articles about “failures”–people who wore the ring, but caved and had sex within a year after putting on the ring and taking the Chastity Pledge. So maybe Chastity events are a bad idea, but if we all accept the fact that many of us fail to remain chaste (not just about having sex outside of marriage, after all), and that we can repent and seek God’s forgiveness-maybe a chastity/marriage parade isn’t a bad idea. My husband and I would join it.
 
OurLadyDaughter said:
It’s true all are welcome, but I think there’s a difference between validating people and validating actions. Gay pride events are a specific political agenda which promote validation of activities which are contrary to Catholic teaching. Are there any secular gay pride proclamations, parades, or social media messages stating that gay people are called to chastity? People experiencing SSA are called to this. We can treat them with dignity, love, and charity as befits a human being created by God without participating in validation of a sexually active lifestyle.
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The distinction you make between having so-called SSA (a term I had never seen before I came on CAF) and acting on it is a particularly Catholic notion. Protestants for most of my life have rarely separated the two. Both were treated as being almost equally bad which is why they often pushed reparative or conversion therapy and the message that if gay people prayed hard enough, God would make them straight. And through the campaigns of people like Anita Bryant and Jerry Falwell with his “Moral Majority,” they also pushed the especially hateful message that most gay people are sexual predators out trying to “recruit” children.

For most of us, we weren’t just being “called to chastity,” we were being called to repent and to “pray away the gay” and become straight like we ought to be. And although gay pride events have often had a political element to them, they haven’t just been about sending a political message to straight people. They were also held so that gay people themselves could come together with other people like themselves and have fun for a day in the midst of a society that was largely hostile to them.

It’s probably hard for most straight people now to realize how isolated many gay people felt growing up alone before there was any Internet in some small town where we didn’t know anyone else like us and how liberating it was to go to a pride parade in a big city like San Francisco and find ourselves surrounded by thousands of other gay people and not feel so alone anymore. I still remember going to my first parade in San Francisco in 1982 and how amazing that was for me coming from an area where the closest town only had about 1000 people and I didn’t know a single other gay person like myself.
 
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Peeps said:
I am glad that you started this thread. Our city has declared Pride Month (LGBTQ), and one of the activities that occurred yesterday was a “Drag Parade.” I find this sickening. If LGBTQ groups want to have events like this in private, fine, but for men who are not trans to parade down the street dressed up like women–this is awful! It’s insulting to women! And if it’s OK, then why isn’t it OK for white people to wear Halloween costumes of their favorite black characters? Or to wear blackface and parade down the street?
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It’s just entertainment and not just something that gay men have done. Were you insulted in the past to see Bob Hope or Milton Berle dressed as women? And if a woman dressed as a man, would that be insulting to men? I can see how a white person wearing blackface could be seen as racist. But if a man were to put on his mother’s clothing or his wife’s clothing, would that be anti-woman? It could just be for fun. Sometimes, it seems like everyone is easily insulted.
 
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Thank you. Glad I’m not the only one who sees drag as essentially blackface of the opposite sex.
 
I am very sorry that you or anybody felt isolated or threatened. That certainly is not acting as Christ calls us. The field in which I work is extremely hostile to my faith, so I can understand that it must have been lonely and frightening.

But the answer addressing past wrongs is not to limit the rights of others. it’s not the fault of the Catholic Church, particularly current Catholics who had no part in this, that Protestants taught what they did in the past. Now many are being faced with conflict in our faith just by taking a job or supporting a company. I think more Catholic outreach to those experiencing same-sex attraction is needed for sure, along with much better education for all about what the Church actually teaches regarding this.
 
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Do what smart Catholics have always done:

Make a distinction; look to what’s good.

Everyone acts based on a perceived good. What could be causing the baseball team to honor Pride Month? For one thing, perhaps it;s to show respect for the diversity of humanity, a group that has faced much discrimination, harassment, and violence — and hardship from their own inner turmoil. Perhaps many of them have LGBT family and friends.

As for me, I would consider myself a faithful son of the Church. But I see no problem with supporting LGBT people. Supporting a gay person, for example, is more than — and does necessarily include — acceptance of every single sexual act ever.

Sexuality for LGBT people and their families is not just reduced to sex, even if the Church sometimes treats it that way. That is unfortunate.

It is Church teaching, per the Catechism, that any unjust discrimination towards LGBT people is sinful; additionally, they are to be treated with compassion and respect.
 
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RealisticCatholic said:
Do what smart Catholics have always done:

Make a distinction; look to what’s good.

Everyone acts based on a perceived good. What could be causing the baseball team to honor Pride Month? For one thing, perhaps it;s to show respect for the diversity of humanity, a group that has faced much discrimination, harassment, and violence — and hardship from their own inner turmoil. Perhaps many of them have LGBT family and friends.

As for me, I would consider myself a faithful son of the Church. But I see no problem with supporting LGBT people. Supporting a gay person, for example, is more than — and does necessarily include — acceptance of every single sexual act ever.

Sexuality for LGBT people and their families is not just reduced to sex, even if the Church sometimes treats it that way. That is unfortunate.

It is Church teaching, per the Catechism, that any unjust discrimination towards LGBT people is sinful; additionally, they are to be treated with compassion and respect.
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And another reason why some business support LGBT is that it’s good for the businesses’ own bottom line.
 
That’s neither here nor there. We could always assume the worst motives in whatever situation.
 
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Thorolfr said:
The distinction you make between having so-called SSA (a term I had never seen before I came on CAF) and acting on it is a particularly Catholic notion
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Interesting observation.
I’m undecided, if it is Typically Catholic, or something that faded away from Protestantism in the last 60 years, like much else.

We ought always to speak for the current underdogs, against the present dominant prejudice. Unfortunately most people are hastening to denounce the recent bigotry, joining the crowd of media. That’s not bad, it’s fine that past few evils be criticized, but not that helpful, either.

They are far more reluctant to go against the crowd and denounce the current bigotry.
If you want to know the current bigotry, look at the media, and higher education.

Anti-Catholicism is the current respected bigotry.
 
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I think if a Catholic bothers to first to stand up for the faith ie say on fb for instance I disagree with using the rainbow flag to represent the pride movement to at the very least support them, say they write this on Facebook and are getting attacked we should at least support them in their argument, they are getting attacked and could be seen as lacking credibility otherwise. If we all were unitied and less cowardly we might get somewhere. As for non Christians/Catholics sometimes agree have to be careful at least how we present our beliefs on hot topics so if they bring a subject on fb it can be tricky and maybe sometimes silent prayer is the best answer if all it’s going to do is anger people without resolution.
 
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The bishop felt the need to tweet this because the baseball team chose to take a political stance for little reason other than to virtue signal amidst intense political pressure to pander to identity groups.

I will lose my job and destroy my career if I copy-paste the Catechism’s stance on gay marriage, abortion, or the right of nations to define their borders and state that as my belief. That’s a fact.

People are children of God. I love my brothers and sisters based on that alone, not defined by their race, culture, or who they are attracted to. That is human dignity.
 
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