assuming you have read my first posts and maybe a few others… i have one question: Would you respect this man’s opinion under those aforementioned circumstances??
If you say yes or maybe… Is it just because he is a priest??
i have had priests give me what is noramlly accepted as psychological advice… doesn’t bother me in the least. I even welcome such advice… but not from someone who disrespects me, refuses to hear my confession, interrupts so that i can’t get a word in edgewise… and then, after hearing not more than 10 words from me… thinks he knows all about my problem… (or even that there IS a problem)…
Again… Would you???
Well, first off, you asked my opinion. I have to qualify it and say that I can only guess. I’ve never met you, I’ve never met him, and I can only go on the little you’ve told me about the meeting.
I am going to put myself in the place of having written that, having been in a depressed state, and what might be going through my mind had I written that. It may or may not have anything to do with you. So please take it with that grain of salt.
Here’s what you wrote:
I have heard some very worldly advice coming from priests these days, whether in homilies or in the confessional or wherever…
This one priest, during confession, got very irritated w/ me because i wouldn’t agree to take psych drugs… When i said that (something to the effect of) i would rather carry my cross… He got angry and said something about … that i was inflicting crosses on others… Little does he know… I don’t socialize much, so can’t inflict too much of my cross on anyone… & when i do socialize, i try not to do such things…
anyway… another priest suggested i get counseling about this issue i brought up… Then he kept bringing up an issue from my distant past, went on and on about how i need to be healed of tht, even though i told him, in effect, that Jesus had already healed me and was continuing the process of healing… He seemed to ignore the issue i thought was most important… to focus on what he thought was important…
It just seems that priests nowadays (a lot of them) are more into psychology than spiritualiity… and True Psychology comes from Jesus… the one who knows us perfectly…
Have you experienced this or something like it??
My impression, based purely on my own life, recognizing that you are a totally different person, is that you are probably in denial about how healed you are. I base this partly on the fact that you have had similar reactions from two different priests. That they may have reacted to your denial in inappropriate or unproductive ways does not change the fact that they might be right.
Many priests are very impressed with the value of having a therapist or a spiritual director, but in my experience–and I have gone to priests having had some pretty big issues–priests do not go around telling healthy people they ought to be on psych drugs. Healthy people, OTOH, are willing to look at the possibility that someone else may see a problem in them that they don’t realize they have. If a five-year-old in their parish says, “Mr. Jones, you are too unhappy”, that makes them stop and think. Similar feedback coming from someone they went to as a spiritual physician would count for much, much more.
It is almost a cliche that we don’t want to admit when we need psychological help, and especially that we don’t want to admit that we have anything that requires medication. For some reason, there is a prejudice that “if I’m/he’s/she’s on medication, then I/he/she am/is really nuts”. People who have mental illnesses that need on-going treatment are seen as weak, self-pitying, or as “damaged goods.” People who carry crosses, though…now those are saints!! Do you see the temptation that can arise?
At any rate, any time we find ourselves in a doctor’s office, arguing with the doctor, it is not just enough to simply find a new doctor. We have to be willing to discuss the concerns of the first doctor with subsequent ones. There are quacks in every profession, and also mere human beings who are blinded to how to practice their art, but it is a poor physician who treats himself, and a foolish layperson who decides to be his or her own physician.
I am also very concerned with the passage “
He got angry and said something about … that i was inflicting crosses on others… Little does he know… I don’t socialize much, so can’t inflict too much of my cross on anyone… & when i do socialize, i try not to do such things…”
Healthy people desire and expect themselves to be fully contributing members of a social circle. Within the Body of Christ, too, we are intended carry His cross together. We are to be one, as Jesus and the Father are one. Can the hand say to the foot, “I’m not contributing, but don’t mind me”? Can one ear say to the rest of the body, “You have another ear, you don’t need me”? To the contrary! The body needs both eyes in order to have depth perception and both ears to know the direction a sound comes from, and to be fully sensitive to sounds coming from every direction. Likewise, the Body of Christ needs you to make the fullest contribution of which you are capable,
and it needs the opportunity to be of service to you in your need, too. If you cannot contribute, that is one thing. But if you might be able to contribute more, but choose not to, or if you think no one needs the privelege of rendering help to you, do not try to convince yourself that it matters to no one else.
But that is just my opinion, based on myself. It may not apply to you, not even a little bit. So take it for what it is worth, and do not feel a need to explain yourself if you conclude it has nothing to do with you. I’m willing to believe you on that count.
