Progress with my "trans" child? Maybe

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childinthefaith

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Yesterday, my daughter was here for a visit. SHE claims to “identify” as a male, etc. etc. I’ll not beleaguer the point.
In any case, abortion came up briefly between her and my wife whilst I was in the room. I started to comment, and SHE says, “sorry, MEN don’t get to have an opinion on abortion…”
Well, funny, all this time SHE has been saying SHE thinks SHE IS a man. Hmmmm.

I just keep praying for HER, and I never cave to any of the idealogy of that crowd, as they would wish me to use certain pronouns, etc. My freedom of speech does not end where their feelings begin.

Blessings to all. You’re welcome to pray for my daughter as well. I really wish she’d stop this behavior while I’m alive to see it. At age 50, I have a good chance of seeing that happen IMO.
 
Prayers are about all that I have to offer here.
I’m really sorry that you are going through something like this. (
 
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Thank you for sharing, and prayers definitely headed y’all’s way!

That is a good conundrum to present to confused individuals:
Should females who think they are males lose options to abort children?
 
Anything is possible! I’m sure you’ve heard the wonderful story of St. Monica, who prayed fervently for the conversion of her son, St. Augustine. Have faith in God, and don’t give up on your daughter. I am praying for her.
 
I think you should have pointed out to your daughter that it takes two to make a baby, so men can have an opinion that abortion is wrong as their child is affected by such a choice. The child has half the genes from its father.

And then if she argues with you, explain that she has half your genes. In other words, explain the obvious.
 
Lara said:
I think you should have pointed out to your daughter that it takes two to make a baby, so men can have an opinion that abortion is wrong as their child is affected by such a choice. The child has half the genes from its father.
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Duly noted. Good point.
 
As far as I know, nationally, men have had a little more lax views on abortion than women have, so if men’s opinions on abortion don’t matter, then that’s a bad sign for the pro-choice lobby.

Except of course men do have opinions about it because somebody having their baby will affect them for the rest of their life, and it’s easy to see from a selfish perspective why some men might want abortions to remain legal and accessible.
 
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The proper use of pronouns is to use the ones that correspond with the individuals objective biological sex, not their subjective gender identity.
 
I’ve seen it happen dozens of times in other trans people’s families, just as it happened in mine. Failure to respect pronouns often ends in the complete and total loss of any relationship between the trans person in question and their families. It’s tragic. If you value your relationship with this person, you MUST respect pronouns. Anything else runs a very high risk of losing the relationship you care so much about.
 
I wouldn’t point out her slip-up.
It will just make her entrench.

It’s better that she’s talking to you, rather than going private with all her messy thoughts and feelings.
 
The problem, amt, is: where does it end? We have to respect their pronouns? And if we don’t, they’re allowed to walk out? Must we respect their decisions of who to sleep with, also? Who to live with? Who to have a child with? It seems as if we very quickly must “respect” AKA unquestioningly approve of EVERYTHING they must do, or they’re allowed to unilaterally declare the relationship over. It’s inappropriate to expect that of a parent, and inappropriate to allow a child to behave in that fashion toward a parent.
 
Polak said:
Must? Erm, I don’t think so.
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The qualifier that @amt1985 used was “if you want to preserve a loving relationship with your child”. While some children would be fine with their parents constantly refusing to accept them, most would eventually find the relationship hurt by it.

Transgender people don’t just “choose” their identity, they feel with every fiber of their being that their gender doesn’t align with their biological sex. Often before they come out and say “I’m transgender” they’ll try to live as the gender that matches their sex and will find that everything feels wrong. So when they decide to start living in the way that feels right, and their family doesn’t accept it, it can make them feel unloved and unsupported.

Personally I’d just use the pronouns they want. It doesn’t hurt me and it shows respect for them as a human being.
 
BornInMarch said:
Transgender people don’t just “choose” their identity, they feel with every fiber of their being that their gender doesn’t align with their biological sex
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Okay.

I need to explain this.

there are several phenomena occurring today that all label themselves as “transgender”.

The first variant occurs mostly in boys, and is seen from the time they can walk and talk, that they feel they were born in the wrong body.
However, some little boys go through a phase, then outgrow it.
The only way to diagnose this is in retrospect, when they are a an adult.

The second variant is a fairly new phenomenon, which occurs mostly in girls, where she feels fine in her body until something upsets her at or around puberty.
Interestingly, it happens in the same type of girl who either turns to cutting or to anorexia to soothe themselves.
I’ve seen girls (note the plural) be very insistent on their being a boy, then detransitioning.

Thirdly, you have the wannabes, who can be very convincing, but want attention.
 
Wrong, sorry. As Catholics we do not believe in subjective gender “choice.” To use someone’s so-called “preferred pronouns,” when not consistent with their objective biological gender, is to give in to a lie. Jesus insists we tell the TRUTH. Will it end a relationship? It might. But that’s the price that must be paid for telling the truth. Jesus told us clearly this might happen. We would like to think that preserving peace in our families, in our communities, is the highest goal. At first glance, it seems to be. But that’s not what Jesus told us. The highest goal is to adhere to Truth. Read Matthew 10: 34-39. Is this a difficult teaching? YES.
 
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0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
The first variant occurs mostly in boys, and is seen from the time they can walk and talk, that they feel they were born in the wrong body.
However, some little boys go through a phase, then outgrow it.
The only way to diagnose this is in retrospect, when they are a an adult.
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Children often have trouble figuring themselves out, which is indeed why medical procedures associated with transitioning and aren’t easily reversible (such as surgery) are only allowed to be preformed on adults who have submitted to psychological tests.
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
The second variant is a fairly new phenomenon, which occurs mostly in girls, where she feels fine in her body until something upsets her at or around puberty.
Interestingly, it happens in the same type of girl who either turns to cutting or to anorexia to soothe themselves.
I’ve seen girls (note the plural) be very insistent on their being a boy, then detransitioning.
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I may be wrong so don’t quote me as an expert, but it may be because society’s less willing to accept when girls deviate from the social norms than boys who do the same. A 10 year old girl who wants to play hockey or baseball is cheered on, a 10 year old boy who wants to learn ballet dancing gets made fun of. Then puberty comes and society expects the girl to act “like a girl”, so girls who don’t think they measure up and people who were born with a female sex but think of themselves as boys both get hit hard by this.

As for detransitioning, I’ve heard that cases of that are exceedingly rare - like less than 1%. Granted the statistic I heard was just for those who undergo reassignment surgery, so it may be higher when accounting for people who don’t get the surgery but still socially and chemically transition (both of which are fairly reversible).
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
Thirdly, you have the wannabes, who can be very convincing, but want attention.
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I think these cases are fairly rare, and if they do they don’t last too long.
 
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When your child joins a cult, do you pretend that the leader is an enlightened guru or do you tell the truth?

I tried to be friends with somebody who belonged to a cult, but their brain had been hijacked so it was impossible. Sometimes, a situation is untenable when truth becomes a cold casualty.

I’m sorry but telling your parents they MUST do something is like your parents telling you that you MUST stop acting like the opposite gender. It doesn’t usually work. This is why debates are good and logic should be on the menu.
 
childinthefaith said:
In any case, abortion came up briefly between her and my wife whilst I was in the room. I started to comment, and SHE says, “sorry, MEN don’t get to have an opinion on abortion…”
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That’s a bit bad mannered, regardless of ideological position. I mean it’s your house…you can say what you like.

I’ll keep your daughter in the prayers.
 
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