Proper Dress and Behavior for Catholic Women

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I think this all pushed my wife over the edge at the TLM telling her to wear a dress when she dressed nice in black slacks, etc, and then telling her she had to wear a head covering. Feeling of beating you down, she wasn’t good enough for the people in the mass.
Your wife was given inaccurate information. We are allowed to wear slacks, etc…you are not required to wear a head covering at the TLM although many women choose to. I have read on some thread on ask an apologist answered by Michelle Arnold that priests with the Fraternitery of St Peter are admonishing and correcting people who are also under that impression…go & look in that section I mentioned.
 
It seems that ever so often the “pants” issue raises its ugly head. I have been personally involved in many threads on this matter. Yes, I wear pants…nice dress pants to daily Mass at the TLM oratory. I go to Mass daily and the only thing that has prevented me from going to Mass daily has either been car trouble or illness. On the occasion when my car was in the shop for 2 days I checked out a cab…$35 round trip…(more than I could afford on SS disability)…the bus which has no bus stop closer than 6 blocks and I am disabled…and 60 years old. Soooo…I have attended Mass when the wind chills have been -20 and have left my house at 6:30 a.m. to go to Mass in the dead of winter. Do you think for a minute our Lord is going to think I am being disrespecful if I happen to wear “pants”? Ya gotta be kiddin! :eek:
 
Put one a woman in a skirt… put another in jeans…

Take any man, let him look at the lower half of the woman’s body. Ask him exactly where his eyes are drawn.

Experiment over. You’ll find your answer as to why jeans are to be avoided there.
Uhhh…since when are men no longer responsible for their own behaviors? Experiment over…indeed.
😦
 
Uhhh…since when are men no longer responsible for their own behaviors? Experiment over…indeed.
Walk around naked – use the same excuse. It’s an excuse.

And it isn’t modesty, or Mary-like.

‘Love thy neighbor as thyself’. Shared responsibility.
 
Uhhh…since when are men no longer responsible for their own behaviors? Experiment over…indeed.
Are we talking about women walking around naked? No, I don’t believe so. But if that is the best answer you can come up with for a very pitiful argument on your part.😃
 
I’m sorry for sticking my nose in this, but as I was reading about this whole ting about roles I’m reminded of three very influential Catholic women in their own time and circle.
  1. Catherine of Siena was a lay woman, not a religious and not a man. She was a theologian, a spiritual director and an ambassador within the Church. She later became one of the first two women Doctors of the Church, a role that was traditionally a male role.
  2. Dr. Maria Montessori was a the first Italian woman to become a physician. She was a faithful Catholic and it was her faith that drove her to the slums where her patients were lacking a proper education and she created the Montesori school system.
  3. Mother Teresa’s successor, Sister Nirhmala was sent by Mother Teresa to study law after she became a Missionary of Charity. She graduated with a law degree and a Master’s Degree in Sociology, traditional male roles.
Thousands of religious sisters educated our young people at Catholic Colleges. They were PhD’s in science, mathematics, philosophy, humanities, theology and other disciplines. Without them, many young Catholics in many countries would not have received an academic education, because they were poor and often discriminated against, especially if they were black, Native American or women.

The Catholic Church has promoted the autonomy of women since the time of St. Benedict and maybe earlier.

As to veils, keep in mind that St. Vincent de Paul forbade veils when he wrote the statutes of the Daughters of Charity in the 1700s. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton wore her hair exposed and only wore a widow’s cap when she went out, because she was a widow, not because she was a religious. The Missionary Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity never had a veil or a coif. Their hair was always exposed and they were founded and received Pontifical Rights in the first half of the 20th century. They wore a hat for mass, like any other lay women, because that was in the Canon Law of 1917. It was not in canon law during other periods of Church history.

When Francis and Clare of Assisi founded the Poor Clares it was considered immodest for women not to wear stockings. However, the Poor Clares did not wear shoes or stockings until the 1700s. 500 years after they were founded. Neither did the Discalced Carmelite nuns.

The Maryknoll Sisters and the Medical Mission Sisters were founded as medical communities. To this day, the Medical Mission Sisters are all pharmacists, physicians, lab technicians, hospital administrators, financial administrators, benefits coordinators, hospital social workers and some nurses. These were traditionally male roles. The Church approved them and gave them Pontifical Right.

The Alexian Brothers, the Brothers of St. John of God and the Brothers of the Good Shepherd were all males. They were founded as communities of nurses. To this day, that’s what they do, nursing. These were traditional female roles.

Why is this possible in the Church? Because the Holy See is the final authority and interpretor of Holy Scripture. You can’t take a biblical citation and use it as you wish or take it and use it as a blogger wishes. You must use it as the Church uses it.

The Church does not apply St. Paul’s statements the same way that they are being applied on this thread. The Church interprets them as a call to modesty and proper relationships between the sexes. The Church has approved many things and given many people permission to cross the gender stereotypes long before Vatican II.

In my own community, we have often had women whom we have submitted to as our Ministers and Mothers. Clare is considered our Mother and one of our founders. Mother Angelica is the Mother Foundress of the Missionary Friars of the Eternal Word, a community of men and the Knights of the Holy Eucharist, another community of men.

Mother Teresa is the Mother Foundress of the Missionaries of Charity, which is both male and female.

The same respect and obedience is given to Teresa of Avila among Discalced Carmelites by males and females.

These women held the title of Reverend, which is reserved for clerics. But they were allowed to be called Reverened Mother. They had the same power inside their community that a bishop has over his diocese. That’s why the Bishop’s Conference will never be able to take over EWTN. The Poor Clares founded it and they were free to give it over to a non-profit coroporation to run it. The local bishop had no jurisdiction.

I call all these examples crossing the lines of gender stereotypes.

If one wants to discuss modesty, then call it that. But don’t pigeon hole the genders and say that it’s the Catholic thing to do, because the Church has only limited the Sacrament of Holy Orders to men. All other forms of power and authority, all other forms of ministry and roles in society, have been exercised by men and women religious equally. As to forms of dress, in the Vatican, there are signs everywhere that indicate that women must dress modestly, the pictures include skirts and slacks, blouses and dresses with sleeves, not head gear. Women may receive communion from the Holy Father wearing slacks and their head uncovered.

Those sisters who wear secular dress have permission to do so from the Holy See. The Constitutions of religious institutes must be approved by the Sacred Congregation for Religious and Secular Institutes, a part of the Holy See. There is no disobedience. There has never been an order for religious to wear a habit. There was an expressed wish from Pope John Paul II, but he did not make it a binding law. He exalted the value of the habit, but left it to the Major Superiors and the Chapter of each community to decide.

Fraternally,

JR 🙂
 
Put one a woman in a skirt… put another in jeans…

Take any man, let him look at the lower half of the woman’s body. Ask him exactly where his eyes are drawn.

Experiment over. You’ll find your answer as to why jeans are to be avoided there.
Perhaps then men should wear skirts too. I can recall overhearing a conversation of some women sitting watching men walk by commenting on how their butts looked. And who can say what else their eyes are drawn to. Hey, even I can’t watch a football game without looking at the tight ends (and I am not talking about the postion 😉 )

So lets put everyone in skirts or long robes…problem solved.
 
Put one a woman in a skirt… put another in jeans…

Take any man, let him look at the lower half of the woman’s body. Ask him exactly where his eyes are drawn.

Experiment over. You’ll find your answer as to why jeans are to be avoided there.
Take a bunch of men, put them in pants, have them turn around, and what you will see in about half of them is their underwear sticking out and the crack of their butt showing. And you worry about females in jeans. Perhaps we should require any male over 40 to wear dresses.:rolleyes:
 
Oh my goodness! Just who then, is supposed to be attending to these women when they deliver their babies? Not all woman are healthy enough to have a midwife and a homebirth and if we’re to maintain our modesty, we must have female doctors. Are they, then not allowed to practice medicine after they are married and have children? How about nurses? Are they (females) to quit their jobs when they have children; even though they can work variable shifts to assist in the family income when needed? Gosh, I bet the person who wrote this original piece probably had a near-stroke when DR Gianna Beretta Molla was canonized. Wow! How did we even get women saints?? Sam, did you find this little bit of garbage on Catholic Planet?
It was in the second link provided by the OP. :rolleyes: Honestly, I think there is an argument for balance in everything. The poster who thinks jeans are more provocative than a skirt…well, how long should the skirt be, because years ago, ANKLES were considered too provocative to be revealed! So should we go to a burka? Hair is provocative, some men are turned on by a collar bone, or a waist…do you want all women to be in large potato sacks?

Let every Catholic woman pray and discern their own standards of modesty, with reasonable guidelines. I have a SIL who wears a mantilla to church, and that is her choice, she probably feels it gets her into the proper prayerful mindset. I can be in the proper prayerful mindset without a headcovering.
 
Take a bunch of men, put them in pants, have them turn around, and what you will see in about half of them is their underwear sticking out and the crack of their butt showing. And you worry about females in jeans. Perhaps we should require any male over 40 to wear dresses.:rolleyes:
I agree. I have three boys and one of our rules is, you do not walk around shirtless in the house. Or even outside. We are teaching our sons modesty. If they’re outgrowing their shorts to the point where you can see underwear, they get the next size up. Sleeveless shirts are a concession my DH has allowed when it’s very hot outside, but I would prefer they not wear them.

What I could never understand growing up was, my parents would turn a blind eye to my brother walking around without a shirt (or even in his underwear!), but girls weren’t even to wear a tank top unless it was 100 degrees out. 🤷
 
It was in the second link provided by the OP. :rolleyes: Honestly, I think there is an argument for balance in everything. The poster who thinks jeans are more provocative than a skirt…well, how long should the skirt be, because years ago, ANKLES were considered too provocative to be revealed! So should we go to a burka? Hair is provocative, some men are turned on by a collar bone, or a waist…do you want all women to be in large potato sacks?

Let every Catholic woman pray and discern their own standards of modesty, with reasonable guidelines. I have a SIL who wears a mantilla to church, and that is her choice, she probably feels it gets her into the proper prayerful mindset. I can be in the proper prayerful mindset without a headcovering.
Absolutely!
 
Put one a woman in a skirt… put another in jeans…

Take any man, let him look at the lower half of the woman’s body. Ask him exactly where his eyes are drawn.

Experiment over. You’ll find your answer as to why jeans are to be avoided there.
This is just getting perverted. Look up at the ceiling and mind your own business pervy. Do you think women don’t check out men’s stuff? If we have to start wearing them, then so should you.
 
I read the OP and went on the CatholicPlanet link. I agree with many of the things that were listed.

When I go to the Latin Mass, I wear a mid-calf skirt. A veil does not sit easily on my head because I have short hair. So I wear a small brown cap (a leftover from my TO Franciscan days). Since it’s cold outside, I wear a ‘snood’ which covers my head and neck. The shirts I wear have a short sleeve; in the winter they arte covered by a sweater, and in the summer, by a blazer.

I used to wear short skirts in my ‘stupid days’ of the 1960s. But when I read what Our Lady said at Fatima about immodest dress I stopped wearing them. (I had a lot of battles with my mother when it came to clothes shopping)

I wear pants, but they’re not tight-fitting. I’ve worn both dresses and pants in the jobs I’ve been in. When I worked in a bookstore, I wore sweatpants and a sweater over a short-sleeved shirt. Dresses were rather impractical in that job because I had to rummage in a dusty basement looking for merchandise, or crouch on a not-so-clean store floor doing the same thing. And in winter I wear sweats!

So-does that mean I can’t be a modest Catholic woman BECAUSE I have my hair cut short or wear pants? If I go to a Latin Mass chapel or a shrine that requires modest dress, then I will comply with those rules.

I used to be a lector when I went to the NO Mass. I used to sing, both in a choir and as a cantor. Heck, there were times when I was ‘pressed’ into service as a server or an EMHC! But in all those roles, I was ALWAYS MODESTLY DRESSED! Since I now go to the Latin Mass exclusively (and also go to a Maronite Eastern Catholic parish when there is no Latin Mass), I look back at the things I did in the NO and feel embarassed or even ‘guilty’ (?). I do NOT want to contribute to the ‘emasculation’ of the priesthood!

Ok, off my ‘rant’…:o
 
Put one a woman in a skirt… put another in jeans…

Take any man, let him look at the lower half of the woman’s body. Ask him exactly where his eyes are drawn.

Experiment over. You’ll find your answer as to why jeans are to be avoided there.
You don’t think men look at women in skirts? They just look at different parts of the body. There is no difference between modest skirts and modest jeans (from a male perspective), and I can tell you from personal experience that an overly short skirt is much more distracting than overly tight jeans.

If a man is tempted by the very fact that a woman is wearing pants, that is emphatically his problem.
 
I have a really simple solution to the pant/no pants controversy. Before attending a Latin Mass, call the priest as I did and inquire as to whether pants are acceptable. If he says it is ok then fine, if not then find another alternative. If the priest doesn’t think there is a problem it is not up to the faithful to be judgmental, after all, that is not why we are attennding Mass in the first place.
 
I’m sorry for sticking my nose in this, but as I was reading about this whole ting about roles I’m reminded of three very influential Catholic women in their own time and circle.
  1. Catherine of Siena was a lay woman, not a religious and not a man. She was a theologian, a spiritual director and an ambassador within the Church. She later became one of the first two women Doctors of the Church, a role that was traditionally a male role.
  2. Dr. Maria Montessori was a the first Italian woman to become a physician. She was a faithful Catholic and it was her faith that drove her to the slums where her patients were lacking a proper education and she created the Montesori school system.
  3. Mother Teresa’s successor, Sister Nirhmala was sent by Mother Teresa to study law after she became a Missionary of Charity. She graduated with a law degree and a Master’s Degree in Sociology, traditional male roles.
Thousands of religious sisters educated our young people at Catholic Colleges. They were PhD’s in science, mathematics, philosophy, humanities, theology and other disciplines. Without them, many young Catholics in many countries would not have received an academic education, because they were poor and often discriminated against, especially if they were black, Native American or women.

The Catholic Church has promoted the autonomy of women since the time of St. Benedict and maybe earlier.

As to veils, keep in mind that St. Vincent de Paul forbade veils when he wrote the statutes of the Daughters of Charity in the 1700s. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton wore her hair exposed and only wore a widow’s cap when she went out, because she was a widow, not because she was a religious. The Missionary Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity never had a veil or a coif. Their hair was always exposed and they were founded and received Pontifical Rights in the first half of the 20th century. They wore a hat for mass, like any other lay women, because that was in the Canon Law of 1917. It was not in canon law during other periods of Church history.

When Francis and Clare of Assisi founded the Poor Clares it was considered immodest for women not to wear stockings. However, the Poor Clares did not wear shoes or stockings until the 1700s. 500 years after they were founded. Neither did the Discalced Carmelite nuns.

The Maryknoll Sisters and the Medical Mission Sisters were founded as medical communities. To this day, the Medical Mission Sisters are all pharmacists, physicians, lab technicians, hospital administrators, financial administrators, benefits coordinators, hospital social workers and some nurses. These were traditionally male roles. The Church approved them and gave them Pontifical Right.

The Alexian Brothers, the Brothers of St. John of God and the Brothers of the Good Shepherd were all males. They were founded as communities of nurses. To this day, that’s what they do, nursing. These were traditional female roles.

Why is this possible in the Church? Because the Holy See is the final authority and interpretor of Holy Scripture. You can’t take a biblical citation and use it as you wish or take it and use it as a blogger wishes. You must use it as the Church uses it.

The Church does not apply St. Paul’s statements the same way that they are being applied on this thread. The Church interprets them as a call to modesty and proper relationships between the sexes. The Church has approved many things and given many people permission to cross the gender stereotypes long before Vatican II.

In my own community, we have often had women whom we have submitted to as our Ministers and Mothers. Clare is considered our Mother and one of our founders. Mother Angelica is the Mother Foundress of the Missionary Friars of the Eternal Word, a community of men and the Knights of the Holy Eucharist, another community of men.

Mother Teresa is the Mother Foundress of the Missionaries of Charity, which is both male and female.

The same respect and obedience is given to Teresa of Avila among Discalced Carmelites by males and females.

These women held the title of Reverend, which is reserved for clerics. But they were allowed to be called Reverened Mother. They had the same power inside their community that a bishop has over his diocese. That’s why the Bishop’s Conference will never be able to take over EWTN. The Poor Clares founded it and they were free to give it over to a non-profit coroporation to run it. The local bishop had no jurisdiction.

I call all these examples crossing the lines of gender stereotypes.

If one wants to discuss modesty, then call it that. But don’t pigeon hole the genders and say that it’s the Catholic thing to do, because the Church has only limited the Sacrament of Holy Orders to men. All other forms of power and authority, all other forms of ministry and roles in society, have been exercised by men and women religious equally. As to forms of dress, in the Vatican, there are signs everywhere that indicate that women must dress modestly, the pictures include skirts and slacks, blouses and dresses with sleeves, not head gear. Women may receive communion from the Holy Father wearing slacks and their head uncovered.

Those sisters who wear secular dress have permission to do so from the Holy See. The Constitutions of religious institutes must be approved by the Sacred Congregation for Religious and Secular Institutes, a part of the Holy See. There is no disobedience. There has never been an order for religious to wear a habit. There was an expressed wish from Pope John Paul II, but he did not make it a binding law. He exalted the value of the habit, but left it to the Major Superiors and the Chapter of each community to decide.

Fraternally,

JR 🙂
Good post! Thanks for all that info.
 
What is modest for one person isn’t for another. Case in point, my sister and I put on the same skirt… for me it’s perfectly modest, but since she’s 3 inches taller than me, and she’s mostly legs, it would be very indecent. Modesty requires honesty about oneself. What my actual v perceived body size is probably the one that I’ve struggled with the most. For me, I’m now a sort of comfortable size X, but at various points I stuffed myself into size X - 2 or X - 4 because of what the tag said. Some other questions that need to be asked… How much cooler will I be in the summer with a halter top versus a cap-sleeve tshirt? How much will people be staring at my funbags versus my face? Would I wear this to visit my grandmother? These would be some basic questions to expand upon.

Unfortunately, it isn’t cut and dried. But fortunately, it isn’t cut and dried. 😉 What I mean, is that while it can be difficult to define modesty for oneself, the different options for modesty helps ensure that it isn’t a terribly difficult concept for people to start implementing in their own lives.

By the way, I don’t see anything inherently immodest about either pants or skirts in general. Staying away from “badonkadonk” pants and mini-skirts aside, there are many options to chose from. Again, it goes back to the question of “What is modest for me?”

God Bless!
Ericka
 
What is modest for one person isn’t for another. Case in point, my sister and I put on the same skirt… for me it’s perfectly modest, but since she’s 3 inches taller than me, and she’s mostly legs, it would be very indecent. Modesty requires honesty about oneself. What my actual v perceived body size is probably the one that I’ve struggled with the most. For me, I’m now a sort of comfortable size X, but at various points I stuffed myself into size X - 2 or X - 4 because of what the tag said. Some other questions that need to be asked… How much cooler will I be in the summer with a halter top versus a cap-sleeve tshirt? How much will people be staring at my funbags versus my face? Would I wear this to visit my grandmother? These would be some basic questions to expand upon.

Unfortunately, it isn’t cut and dried. But fortunately, it isn’t cut and dried. 😉 What I mean, is that while it can be difficult to define modesty for oneself, the different options for modesty helps ensure that it isn’t a terribly difficult concept for people to start implementing in their own lives.

By the way, I don’t see anything inherently immodest about either pants or skirts in general. Staying away from “badonkadonk” pants and mini-skirts aside, there are many options to chose from. Again, it goes back to the question of “What is modest for me?”

God Bless!
Ericka
Modesty has never ruled out fashionable. I’m remembering the Sisters of St. Joseph. They were originally founded in France. Their original habits looked nothing like the habits that most of us remember, the long black pleated skirt with the nylon veil and the white collar. The original habit was a pleated top and a pleated skirt of any colour. Under it, the sisters wore a corset, because it was the French fashion for women to have very tiny wastes. So every Sister of St. Joseph looked broad at the shoulders with a tiny waist and long legs, because of the long pleated skirt. The skirt was pleated because it was the fashionable thing for ladies at the time. The Jesuits who founded the Sisters of St. Joseph tauhgt them to be ladies and to appear as such.

Years later they all adopted the black colour, but kept the French cut of the top and the skirt. They also kept the corset (sp?) until after Vatican II.

Their focus was on modesty, not frompiness. They dressed modestly, but looked very elegant for their time in the 1700s. One way that you could recognize religious of French origin was the pleats. It was the fashionable thing to wear.

Fashion and modesty can go together. One does not have to be out of step with fashion to be modest.

JR 🙂
 
I have found a lot of these replies very intresting to this topic.

Many people on here (including me) have our own thoughts on what is Proper Dress and what’s not for men and women.

I find it very intresting, that some peoples thoughts are **if it’s not in Cannon Law, (spelled out for us in detail) then we don’t have to do it. ** I’m not knocking your thoughts, just making a point of some thoughts.

Some people have the thought** Well it’s right here in the Bible,** ( clearly stated by verses that others have posted, yes even after Jesus had returned to Heaven. Paul wrote about it.)

So then my thought goes to this…We now have the **Cannon Laws vs. the Bible. ** Which do we go by?

I’m not trying to start a heated debate, truely that is not my intentions. Nor am I trying to cause controversy over the Cannon Laws vs The Bible.

But truely I’m asking a sincere question, "If there is a “type” of confict between what Cannon Law says vs The Bible, then what do we go by?

For example: Cannon Law, (the way some read it.) says we (women) don’t have to wear Head Coverings any longer in Mass or when we pray.

The Bible clearly says a Women should wear a head covering and a man should not, during Prayer.

So which do we follow, The Bible, Gods Word, or Cannon Law? I’m just wondering.
 
I have found a lot of these replies very intresting to this topic.

Many people on here (including me) have our own thoughts on what is Proper Dress and what’s not for men and women.

I find it very intresting, that some peoples thoughts are **if it’s not in Cannon Law, (spelled out for us in detail) then we don’t have to do it. ** I’m not knocking your thoughts, just making a point of some thoughts.

Some people have the thought** Well it’s right here in the Bible,** ( clearly stated by verses that others have posted, yes even after Jesus had returned to Heaven. Paul wrote about it.)

So then my thought goes to this…We now have the **Cannon Laws vs. the Bible. ** Which do we go by?

I’m not trying to start a heated debate, truely that is not my intentions. Nor am I trying to cause controversy over the Cannon Laws vs The Bible.

But truely I’m asking a sincere question, "If there is a “type” of confict between what Cannon Law says vs The Bible, then what do we go by?

For example: Cannon Law, (the way some read it.) says we (women) don’t have to wear Head Coverings any longer in Mass or when we pray.

The Bible clearly says a Women should wear a head covering and a man should not, during Prayer.

So which do we follow, The Bible, Gods Word, or Cannon Law? I’m just wondering.
You always follow the Church. Francis of Assisi and many other saints used the scriptures to base their rules and constitutions, but once they wrote them, they took them to the Church authorities for approval. They understood that the Church is the only authorized interpreter of the Scriptures.

I am reminded of our own rule. When Francis wrote it, he cited the Gospels and other parts of the Bible. Pope Honorius ordered him to rewrite it and to take out certain citations from the scriptures, because the Church’s interpretation of them were not the same as the inerpretation that Francis gave them.

This is one example of many, where the Church has said that the Bible is truth, but the meaning of the passages is not what it looks like when you read it. Therefore, the Church has asked people to either correct the application and interpretation or to cut the entire passage out of their rules and regulations.

Interpretation of scripture is not an individual right. It is the right of the Church leadership.

If Canon Law eliminates the head covering, the Church is right. St. Paul is also right. What is the difference? Paul was making a rule for the Church of his time. The Church is making a ruling for our time.

Except in matters of dogma, the Church can differ from Scripture. It may neer deviate from scripture in dogma and morals. But head coverings are neither dogmas of faith nor are they moral acts of good and evil. They are disciplines. Disciplines can change according to the mind of the Church.

As Catholics, we are abound to obey the Church. Obedience is a moral act. The Church has never said that one cannot cover her head. She simply does not require it. That’s a big difference. Some may want to try to say that the Church does not want head coverings. That is just as wrong as applying scripture where the Church does not apply it.

The Catholic Church has never been governed by sola scriptura. She has always taught that the scriptures are a reflection of what the Church believes and her nature and that’s how they came to be written, in a manner that reflects the nature of the Church and the faith of the Church. Biblical fundamentalism has a problem with this concept, because it forgets that the Church came before the Bible. The third leg of this tripod is sacred Tradition. Any discipline has to be in harmony with the three: Church teaching, Sacred Tradition and Scriptural truths.

Disciplines are not part of the canon of dogma. Therefore, the Church has the right to change the disciplines.

Fraternally,

JR 🙂
 
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