Proper Dress and Behavior for Catholic Women

[dandesmommie]

MMM let’s see. Proper attire.
Our Lord Jesus wore a long garment. Our Blessed Mother wore one too…Did one of them wear the wrong clothes??? Nope, the styles of the garments were different for each gender.
fast forward 2009 years. There are Trousers designed for men and trousers designed for ladies. If a man wore lady trousers, he would look like a man trying to look like a woman, and the opposite is true, ladies wearing men’s trousers would look just as foolish. (and they deserved to be stoned for their foolishness)
Wearing an immodest skirt is less offensive to God? So if I wear slacks that are well fitted (ie flattering, not tight, non revealing etc) and I do not cause my neighbor to look at me in lust, I am sinning worse than if I wore a micro-mini from whence my tuchus would be showing and causing my neighbor to sin in his heart??

 

[Salonika]

samcarter14:

I know I’ve said this before, but I do not feel modest in skirts. I tried wearing only skirts (long ones) for a year, and I felt I got more attention than was seemly.

Think you’re correct about skirts not always being or feeling modest. Have them tight enough not to blow up in the air and people will claim they are immodest, have then wide enough and they’ll blow up.

Also people miss the point that I wear long skirts (when I am not wearing trousers) as I find them more comfortable and asked if it is because my legs are deformed.

samcarter14:

When I’d garden in my skirts, I got huge bug bites all over my legs, and allergic reactions. Yes, I know, tights–but in 85 degree weather in the summer? Nope.

And freeze if it gets cold in your part of the world. Would love to shovel snow in a skirt. And try to keep it down in a howling gale.

samcarter14:

Also, I have small children and am usually getting down on the floor at home to change diapers or clean the floor, and I just feel awkward in a skirt doing housework and playing on the floor. For me, jeans (those styles which are not low rise and not too tight) are more modest and practical for my lifestyle.

Same applies for many of us in workforce. Don’t have to worry about bending over and showing more than you want.

I was amazed in the early 70’s when trouser suits came out (dress plus trousers really) to be told I was immodest by women wearing the briefest of mini-skirts.l I was the one who could get things out of the bottom draws of the filing cabinet, not therm.

samcarter14:

This section in one of those links posted by the OP caught my eye:

“Our girls should be pursuing lady-like activities and hobbies which will prepare them for marriage and their proper role as mother and wife. They should be learning to sew, embroider, knit, crochet, cook, make rosaries, sing good Catholic songs and other decent, patriotic songs, play musical instruments (we’ll need an organ player eventually for our chapel), paint and draw. Above all they should be learning to talk, dress, sit, walk, stand, kneel, stoop and act like a lady at all times. Our girls have many options open to them, if they will only pursue them in a moral decent manner.”

Um, gee, I can’t knit or crochet or make a rosary, and I’d bet there’s lots of good Catholic wives who can’t play an instrument (my MIL comes to mind; she can’t paint or draw either). What a narrow view of what a good wife can do! My DH would rather have a wife who can help haul dirt in the wheelbarrow, plant crops, tear down weeds, as well as rear children, cook, and clean in comfort.

The article also says many sports are taboo for Catholics…huh? Yikes.

My reaction also.

Cross out most sports and outdoor activities for girls. Cross out physical education at school for girls. Cross out most tertiary education for women - they won’t be able to do jobs that require anything other than sedentary jobs and they might get contaminated by views there are any options other than marriage.

If you read other threads you’ll be aware of the number of Catholic women who are unable to find (suitable) husbands and not everyone (male and female) is able to have children.

 

[AngelaBarbara]

Hi All,
I was very excited to find a Land’s End catalog in the mailbox yesterday, with modest but not frumpy clothing! They have some new cuts in Tshirts, skirts, and pants which they are calling “Fit 1” that are very stylish yet modest. You should check it out!

BTW, I have not received promotional consideration for this message, I’m just happy to have a choice between looking frumpy and looking sleazy!

 

[look2thyheart]

Women wearing pants, is dressing like a man, even if it is now socially accepable, it is still wrong.

 

[weepixie71]

i think its the mind set. if you ask young people today, they say they go to church dressed the way they do because God loves them and excepts for who they are. God comes to me where ever i go however i am dressed.
true enough.
but you are going to Him. when you go to a friends or families house do you not respect their rules and the way they do things? you dont go to God on your terms; you go to God on His terms! the only thing i find more disgraceful about the way people dress when going to God’s house are the priests who keep their mouths shut about it afraid to offend anyone. is it not the priests job to let parishioners know when they are offensive to Christ.
when did things get so bad that the priests say, “whew, we are just lucky they attend, so i wont scare them off with telling them how to dress or scare them about talking of hell.”?

 

[Lujack]

Women wearing pants, is dressing like a man, even if it is now socially accepable, it is still wrong.

Why is it dressing like a man? Pants that women and men wear fit differently, to the point that it is pretty easy to tell when a guy is wearing girl pants (yes, one of my friends did make that mistake once).

 

[theistgal]

Women wearing pants, is dressing like a man, even if it is now socially accepable, it is still wrong.

What did Our Lord and the Apostles wear? Do you dress like them?

What’s sauce for the goose, etc.

(oh and by the way, is this, like, the 20 millionth thread on this topic so far? Seems like we should be able to find something more interesting to talk about … )

 

[Shin]

I thank God for the dear ladies who know how to dress in skirts and dresses! Lord help all to understand.

If something is uninteresting one does not have to say anything at all.

This looks like a good resource:
jmjmodestdress.com/dresses.htm

 

[Beachcomber]

Guys can be immodest. Where I work, there are two young adult men who wear the BAGGIEST pants I have ever seen. They barely stay up and their boxers are fully visible. Management chooses not to intervene because of a local “looks law.” Go figure.

 

[EasterJoy]

Women wearing pants, is dressing like a man, even if it is now socially accepable, it is still wrong.

I think you are incorrect. The inclusion of pants on the list of appropriate women’s wear is recognized not just socially, but by the Vatican.

St. Peter’s has a strict dress code: no shorts, no skirts above the knee, and no bare shoulders. People in inappropriate attire are turned away. Women wearing pants, however, are not turned away. If you want to be stricter with yourself than the Holy See is with its visitors, though, have at it.

Pants, like dresses, sometimes do have an immodest cut, even when hemmed at the ankle. That is a different question.

 

[Shin]

The Holy See can make allowances for culture, further than it likes.

I hear there is a shop in the Vatican City territory that sell men’s underpants with pictures of crotches on them. I have not been there myself, but do not approve of this. So I do not think that just because something goes on in Vatican City means it is ‘OK’.

I’ll wait for a formal declaration on that. Until then we have the fundamental truth that woman and men should dress differently to guide us, and the cultural corruption at large that has the Vatican for the most part fighting only on the level of the very basics to recognize.

[If everything that went on at the Vatican were OK, we could go back to the Castrati choirs tomorrow.]

But the spirit of what comes out of the Holy Church’s teaching and Magisterium of all time is -modesty-.

 

[EasterJoy]

The Holy See can make allowances for culture, further than it likes.

I hear there is a shop in the Vatican City territory that sell men’s underpants with pictures of crotches on them. I have not been there myself, but do not approve of this. So I do not think that just because something goes on in Vatican City means it is ‘OK’.

I’ll wait for a formal declaration on that. Until then we have the fundamental truth that woman and men should dress differently to guide us, and the cultural corruption at large that has the Vatican for the most part fighting only on the level of the very basics to recognize.

[If everything that went on at the Vatican were OK, we could go back to the Castrati choirs tomorrow.]

But the spirit of what comes out of the Holy Church’s teaching and Magisterium of all time is -modesty-.

So you’re saying that the Pope, who even now has guards posted at the door who strictly enforce the current dress code within St. Peter’s basilica, making it easy to bar these “immodest” women who “wrongly” wear “men’s clothing”, chooses not to do so? Are you are saying that His Holiness Benedict XVI knows better but lacks the courage to enforce his convictions, or that he is ignorant of the true meaning of what modesty is and how important it is for him to defend it?

I don’t think so. I think the Pope has the will to define and is willing to spend the resources to defend what he believes to be modest dress. I do not think he is a slave or either fashion or public opinion, nor do I think he lacks the wisdom to know what modest dress is for our times. Far from it. I do not think he is lacking in discernment, nor willfully abdicating his responsibilities. I think the Pope disagrees with the more scrupulous Catholics among us about what dress is modest for and therefore permissible for women to wear in his cathedral churches. I also think he has the authority to decide that, and you don’t.

 

[Shin]

I suggest to you that should he try to enforce a dress code vs. pants, he would not succeed and lose credit in a lot of other areas he needs to work in.

That he is working on the fundamentals before the externals.

I suggest to you that popes are not perfect, and that to always appeal to the pope as perfect in enforcing standards everywhere including the Vatican, is fallible.

But I declare to you that the timeless witness of the Faith is not fallible. And that if you spend your time studying tradition with humility you may find your soul urged to do what others do here… that is take the choice… to wear feminine clothing. . and to oppose the times that obscure the genders and their roles more firmly.

Be open to the idea. I pray, please.

Peace. Amen. +

 

[jeanannemarie]

Modesty is something that can grow over time and evolve as you make realizations. My eldest son began to wear a cassock in seminary five years ago. As I was walked by his side, I realized it mattered to ME how I dressed. I dress differently now, much more modestly. It is something that has grown over these past five years and is still evolving.

 

[brigid12]

Since the Church (at least currently) doesn’t have a dress code, I will give the one I have for myself. Having seen my rather large behind in pants in a mirror , I prefer, for the sake of unfortunate roving eyes (amazing what some like!) to wear mid-length skirts (I’m not wild about my knees now either) and boots for church in the fall, winter and early spring when it’s too cold to not have the boots on. I also wear fairly heavy and warm tights. In warmer weather I don’t usually wear the boots or tights. Now, this is not to say that I never wear pants to church. Sometimes my laziness overcomes my prudence and sense of reverance. Hopefully I make sure then that I’ve a long enough sweater/top on that covers, however sometimes I spend time feeling sorry for the men behind me (I’m aware that men are more visually oriented than women, biologically).
I much prefer to wear tops that don’t show my underthings, that’s true whether I’m at church or not. The necklines on the tops I like to not show my (growing, with my weight ) cleavage although I must admit that I do feel more strongly about that for church than not (puritanism shows its ugly face).
I prefer to cover my head in front of the Eucharist (to show my humility), however just receiving on the tongue rather than in my hands is as much as my present pastor can take. I’ve got to pick my battles and charity seems to point to this , although I may have found a way to get around this since I just found a stretchy crotchet beret that may work fine. I normally detest wearing hats and love mantillas, but this might be okay. I’ll try it this Sunday.

 

[EasterJoy]

I suggest to you that should he try to enforce a dress code vs. pants, he would not succeed and lose credit in a lot of other areas he needs to work in.

That he is working on the fundamentals before the externals.

I suggest to you that popes are not perfect, and that to always appeal to the pope as perfect in enforcing standards everywhere including the Vatican, is fallible.

But I declare to you that the timeless witness of the Faith is not fallible. And that if you spend your time studying tradition with humility you may find your soul urged to do what others do here… that is take the choice… to wear feminine clothing. . and to oppose the times that obscure the genders and their roles more firmly.

Be open to the idea. I pray, please.

Peace. Amen. +

He already enforces his dress code. People get very angry about it, and they still don’t get in.

I never said he was perfect. I said he is capable of discerning what modesty is, and he does not lack either the will or the means to enforce a dress code at his cathedrals. If he decided that no woman would enter St. Peter’s wearing trousers, then no woman would enter St. Peter’s wearing trousers. I very much doubt he’d put modest dress under the category of “externals”, either.

When someone starts defining “the timeless witness of the Faith” as something other than what the rightful successors to the Apostles teach, what my archbishop teaches, what our Holy Father teaches, or what my actual spiritual director teaches, if they suggest that the Magesterium may be trusted up to a point, I start wondering. The Lord has not left me an orphan. I pray you to consider that if the Pope is not infallible when it comes to discerning what “feminine” is for the purposes of defining morality in the Universal Church, perhaps you aren’t, either.

 

[brigid12]

I want to make sure that you know that I grew up with a feminist mother (even before the sixties), so was around a lot of the jargon and insecurity that the militant feminists were showing in their femininity. I certainly agree with what should be basic respect /dignity for a fellow human being that had not been codified into law, along with that same respect as regards pay.What seemed to be “thrown out” along with this codification in the sixties, seventies and eighties, was the value of the female as different from the male. There was such a push for equality legally and wage-wise (as it was right that there should be, along with all “minorities”) that we, as human beings usually do, went over-board and decided everyone was the same. I take offense at being thought of as the same and it limits me. I am proud of my femininity (which has been historically and culturally - in fashion and role, shown as differing from men). God made woman separately from man and from his side (not his foot or head) so that is the role I need to follow to the best of my ability to be true to His Vision.

 

[jean8]

What is modest for one person isn’t for another. Case in point, my sister and I put on the same skirt… for me it’s perfectly modest, but since she’s 3 inches taller than me, and she’s mostly legs, it would be very indecent. Modesty requires honesty about oneself. What my actual v perceived body size is probably the one that I’ve struggled with the most. For me, I’m now a sort of comfortable size X, but at various points I stuffed myself into size X - 2 or X - 4 because of what the tag said. Some other questions that need to be asked… How much cooler will I be in the summer with a halter top versus a cap-sleeve tshirt? How much will people be staring at my funbags versus my face? Would I wear this to visit my grandmother? These would be some basic questions to expand upon.

Unfortunately, it isn’t cut and dried. But fortunately, it isn’t cut and dried. What I mean, is that while it can be difficult to define modesty for oneself, the different options for modesty helps ensure that it isn’t a terribly difficult concept for people to start implementing in their own lives.

By the way, I don’t see anything inherently immodest about either pants or skirts in general. Staying away from “badonkadonk” pants and mini-skirts aside, there are many options to chose from. Again, it goes back to the question of “What is modest for me?”

God Bless!
Ericka

erica,
A halter top worn at church? No, , I think you can find a nice short sleeved blouse and wear this for an hour at church.
Mini skirts are out no matter where you go.
Pants are okay as long as they cover your derriere when you sit down. Some waist lines are so low they tend to ride down when a person sits down. have you noticed? Not cool.

God bless,
jean8

 

[jean8]

Modesty is something that can grow over time and evolve as you make realizations. My eldest son began to wear a cassock in seminary five years ago. As I was walked by his side, I realized it mattered to ME how I dressed. I dress differently now, much more modestly. It is something that has grown over these past five years and is still evolving.

Jean Marie,
You must be proud of your son.

God bless you and him

jean8
My middle name is Marie. I like Anne too.

 

[dove51]

Hey Brigid12, would you mind if I asked where you get your skirts? I sometimes have trouble finding them, though I always make it a point to scour the stores when I’m out.