Protestant women and contraceptives, my weird jealousy?

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MarthaSo

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Hi everybody, I don’t know how to put this so I’m going to be frank and hope to get gentle truths because I have baby brain and may not express myself well. My due date is in a week and a half.

Ok. I am inspired by a few women I’ve watched on youtube lately(i’ve had time on my hands lately). Something about their lifestyle, their walk with God, their love of Jesus, the peace in their family. I found myself being a better person lately because of watching them, being more patient at home etc…

My problem is when these women who have inspired me because of their faith talk about spacing out their children and it’s in their hearts to wait and they know God is ok with it, well, that’s where my Catholic heart jumps in. In short, I’ve had a VERY difficult pregnancy at 43. Yes, I would not have anymore if it were up to me but I will do nothing but NFP. My problem that I will pray about is, I feel these women are lucky to be able to avoid a painful pregnancy with full knowledge (in their minds) that it’s ok with God. As a Catholic I know God knows that I know better and must never use anything but NFP (which failed the first time).It feels like they have the better deal for lack of a better word because they’re not going against their conscience they just don’t know it’s s grave evil and yet their body is spared from having a very challenging and life threatening pregnancy while they go on their merry way and live their life, while me being a Catholic must bear a greater risk to another pregnancy because I was blessed to know the fullness of truth and I have no excuse. Something sounds off here in my thinking I feel but I can’t p(name removed by moderator)oint it.

I hope I’ve expressed myself well enough to get some advice on what really is bothering me in this scenario. My husband says they are not more lucky and if I were to get pregnant again while using NFP I will be awarded a crown they perhaps will not have. I don’t know but I would love your clearheaded thoughts.
(baby brain is real and I apologize if i didn’t express myself well)
Thanks so much for ‘listening’.
 
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MarthaSo said:
…while they go on their merry way and live their life…
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Most people ignorant of the evils they engage in “go on their merry way and live their (lives).” That doesn’t make what they’re doing okay, nor does it exclude them from the consequences of their actions.

I have atheist friends who hate even the concept of God, let alone the actual reality of Him, and they are happy in the worldly sense. That happiness doesn’t mean they are on the path to salvation.

With a greater knowledge come a greater responsibility. It might not feel good, but living in accordance with that knowledge is part of what brings us closer to God.
 
Thank you, I understand. These women don’t have worldly joy though, it’s so clear they love the Lord, like I do, and yet they can’t be held culpable for an easy choice that I can’t make. Thank you for your thoughtful response.
 
MarthaSo said:
yet they can’t be held culpable for an easy choice that I can’t make
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I would disagree with this. They can and will be held accountable based on their knowledge, and simply claiming they don’t believe it’s wrong doesn’t equate to invincible ignorance.
 
Sorry, I worded that poorly, I meant they can’t be held culpable if their knowledge was limited to this being acceptable to God. I meant those who really do have ignorance on the matter and ofcourse they exist.
 
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I very much understand how difficult it can be. But as a woman who used NFP for some years after a difficult pregnancy and then struggled to conceive, I now pray (age 40) to blessed again, once, twice or as many times as God Plans for me.
 
At the risk of being judged, condemned, and flagged I will say: I truly do not understand the church’s stance against birth control. I have had one child and I love her very much. However, I do NOT want anymore. I am not overly maternal, to the point where I had a nanny help for the first four years. My own parents were abusive and negligent, and I just found that I didn’t know how to “mother” very well, if that makes sense. I feel that if I had another I would have a mental breakdown. How is it just of the church to demand that I have more children? Being forced into breeding and contributing to the rising world population does not seem like a just or good stance to me.
 
God bless you Susanne, thank you for sharing and may Gods will be done in your life. Perhaps I will feel differently after this season passes. I’m really curious about these women though, they are obviously in love with God and yet we differ so much in this area that cost me s great deal. Were I ignorant through no fault of my own I would be less anxious over the possibility of another pregnancy, something they blissfully have no concern over while they continue loving the Lord.
 
I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut however I’m afraid it might derail the advice I really need to hear. I think it would be a great topic on its own though and i would certainly follow the thread. I hope you don’t mind my saying so. Thank you again.
 
I don’t mean to derail you at all. This is just how I feel, but in no way am I attempting to promote it to others. I hope things get easier for you!
 
The Church does not demand that you have more children. It simply demands that you and your husband are open to children in the intimacy of marriage. Abstinence by mutual agreement is an option.
 
Just to chime in here, these ladies may seem happy and holy for their ten minute videos on YouTube, but we really don’t know what’s in their hearts / minds / consciences.
I am reminded of these studio c spoof videos:
 
Perhaps these women are “happier” in their ignorance of their sin, but shouldn’t we be happier than them knowing that we’re living out God’s truth?

Since returning to the Faith, I’ve been slowly cutting out entertainment that was detrimental to my spiritual wellbeing. Although I was more “entertained” prior to my reversion, I can’t say that I was “happier”. Entertainment doesn’t “make” happiness, and neither should the use of contraception. We have the better deal.
 
Thank you, I thought about that too but no one is perfectly happy right? I guess it’s because this particular issue hurts me because it affects my good health and I am not able to raise my babies, I must work full time. It hurts that they can love the Lord as much as I do and get a pass here because of their ignorance.
(boy that sounds mean but it’s more meant to be honest only)
 
Thank you Thom, your answer is what I’m needing, I think I should be happier and yet Im not. I’m not because I can’t raise them, I must work full time and so I feel like I’m open to life but I’m handing them over to strangers to raise. It’s more about that probably than my physical health to be frank. If I could be a stay at home mom that would be easier.
Also, I haven’t had tv in years and my husband and i don’t miss it at all.
Thank you.
 
Considering you only know these women via YouTube, you don’t whether they are actually happy. They may only be projecting an image of a happy little family to their audience while, in actuality, there could be a lot of issues in their lives.
 
I appreciate your insight, yes, no matter what religion or stage in life we all have problems.
 
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As a married man for 17 years practicing NFP (TTC and TTA) for 14 of them (the other 3 just being completely open to what may come) all I can say is that your feelings are normal. Don’t feel bad for feeling that way and just try to thank God for the gift of the truth in your marriage
 
MarthaSo said:
Sorry, I worded that poorly, I meant they can’t be held culpable if their knowledge was limited to this being acceptable to God.
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You don’t know that. Neither do we. Your child will be a blessing. I was the unwanted kid and while I struggle in this life my mom assured me I was a blessing even if a surprise.
You will be rewarded by God first by a wonderful baby and second for accepting His will on life and not your own.
God bless you and your family. Fear Of Missing Out is pretty strong in the internet age. Because of the amount of information out there.
Know that at least one person here envies you for your beautiful family and strong faith.
 
powerandglory said:
I have had one child and I love her very much. However, I do NOT want anymore
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For a christian, the point is not what I want but what God wants. Discerning the will of God for our lives and trying to put our will in line with it is a central part of our lives
 
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