Protestants: What is the oddest thing about Catholicism?

[distracted]

. I started attending Mass. I am a bit surprised of the lack of fellowship. I even convinced my husband to go and he stated that everyone had frowns up until the part when they left. .

I’ve been Catholic all my life (though i fell away for a fairly long spell when young…I was NOT catechized well )… and i have seen many “odd” and even down-right terrible “things” in the Church… (long story, all the details… )… I got so angry one or two times that i began to wonder why the heck i was so devoted to the Catholic Church… I guess i kind of have this one good priest to thank… or that is part of it… He introduced me to the Blessed Sacrament… something i hsould have been raised with but wasn’t… One time when i was particularly fed up and wondered if i was “in the right place”… i began to think of what kept me Catholic… There were 4 reasons and none of them had to do with the social aspects of my faith (which, if anything, was driving me in the other direction): The Mass (where all of Heaven participates), Confession, the moral teachings of the Church and… the Eucharist/Real Presence. If i want fellowship, there is some in the Catholic Church but i can also go to a non-C social function…
God bless…

 

[distracted]

The oddest thing is a Church that claims to follow Jesus but yet has a disdain for fellowship

Some parishes are better on this than others… Maybe you should try to find a charismatic Church…

no one ever said a word to me.

Actually, that is what i LIKE about the Catholic Church… I mean, sometimes i just want to be with and focus on God/Jesus and not be bothered with people… There is some saying i heard once: “Hell is other people”…

There were no Bible Studies listed in the Bulletins,

I have seen bible studies in some bulletins…

, would want to share the joy they had in Christ,

Yeah, i know… I agree totally… but you know, Jesus did say that there were few who would make it… I don’t want to judge all those un-friendly, seemingly joy-less people… but the Bible does say you will know them by their fruits… I am not saying one has to be jumping with joy all the time to prove love of God… but, well, i don’t know how to say what i am trying to sya… I just feel sometimes that i am also a stranger in the Church, though i have been a member, off/on for all my life…

Jesus… walked with them and ate with them and talked to the women and the non believers.

Again, i just tell myself that, as the Bible says, the road of salvation is difficult and there are few who find it… That is the only thing that explains some of the bad behavior i have witnessed in the Churhc…

There are other things I cannot accept about Catholicism,

like what?

but the “oddest” thing is a lack of displayed love for others.

I think i would have to agree tht this is the thing tht bothers me the most… but as stated, Jesus said that the way to eternal life is narrow and there are few who find it… I frankly don’t know anyone who is … well, what thye used to call a Jesus Freak I wish i did… I wish i knew someone who was crazy for Jesus (as it were), but i don’t… all i see is a lot of people who go to Church every Sun… but as mentioned in another forum… going into a Church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going into a garage makes you a car…

 

[mercygate]

Maybe its the area I live, but the Parishes were all much smaller than the Protestant Churches I attended. An annual Fair sounds like fun, but is more socializing than deep fellowship.

You are right that it’s a work party and not deep fellowship. But I know many deep friendships that have been formed over the dunking pool!

 

[allhers]

The oddest thing is a Church that claims to follow Jesus but yet has a disdain for fellowship permeating its very walls.

I attended Mass for 6 years at 3 different parishes. Other than when I had an actual meeting with the priest scheduled, and recited words spoken during the Mass no one ever said a word to me. There were no Bible Studies listed in the Bulletins, no hellos in the parking lot, nor fellowship potlucks nor even a “Welcome to Mass” out in the foyers.

To me the “One True Church” would be welcoming to people, would want to share the joy they had in Christ, Would want to study Gods Word together. Jesus did not Say a Mass with His followers and leave… He walked with them and ate with them and talked to the women and the non believers. And speaking of leaving… I also found it odd how many people were in a rush to barge out the door the min they had received the Eucharist! They were not displaying respect for God OR Love for their neighbors.

yeah yeah I know all the pat answers. “Catholics really do study scripture”, “the Bible is Catholic”, “My my focus is on the Lord and worship not socializing” (note Im not talking about ‘just socializing’), “Mass is for Prayer”, “The preist is too busy”

Ill even grant the occasional “Well MY parish has fellowship activities!” and even grant you “We have doughnuts!” But if I din’t find any when looking in 6 years… its gotta be uncommon. and Sorry, but getting your kid a doughnut for being good in Mass on the way out the door doesn’t count.

There are other things I cannot accept about Catholicism, but the “oddest” thing is a lack of displayed love for others.

You know what amazes me? I am a cradle Catholic and I can remember when even the Priest didn’t greet you at the door of the Church or afterwards. He did however greet everyone with the words of our Lord at Mass. We weren’t going to Mass to socialize, still don’t. We’re going to adore, honor, worship and receive our Lord. Other than the occasional Priest and Usher greeting us at the door now, it still wouldn’t bother me if NO ONE said hello or offered me a doughnut. (I get greeted enough at the Sign of Peace and I’m not there for a doughnut!!)

 

[distracted]

Well, currently…mortal vs. venial sin & that if you commit a mortal sin, if you die without confessing it you will go to hell.

the Bible makes a distinction between mortal & venial sins though it doesn’t use that terminology… It speaks of a “sin that is unto death” nd one that is not…

And i know that, as Jesus said, it is difficult to get into Heaven… I know because He said that (“The road is narrow… and there are few who find it”) and i know from experience that … well, i don’t know if i have time to explain or elaborate on my experiences… All i know is that when i am in the Presence of a Holy God (the Real Presence), i see my soul far differently than when i am not…
That is the biggest tragedy about not being Catholic - not being able to be in His Real Presence… Of course, a Protestant could be in His Real Presence - all he would have to do is go to a Catholic Church that is open and he/she could sit there as long as desired… but most Protestants and even many Catholics don’t even know about this… I didn’t until several yrs ago… and then only because a priest shared it with me… Thank God he didn’t assume that because i was Catholic, i should already know about that…

 

[distracted]

The oddest thing is a Church that claims to follow Jesus but yet has a disdain for fellowship .

another thought: We are around humans all week long… Doesn’t God deserve an hour, at least, of our un-divided attention??

I mean, i look at the Mass as fellowshipping iwth God… Frankly, fellowshipping with sinful humans can be very draining!

 

[Syele]

We weren’t going to Mass to socialize, still don’t. We’re going to adore, honor, worship and receive our Lord. Other than the occasional Priest and Usher greeting us at the door now, it still wouldn’t bother me if NO ONE said hello or offered me a doughnut. (I get greeted enough at the Sign of Peace and I’m not there for a doughnut!!)

You miss the point. God gave us 2 commandments that encompass all the others. Love Him & love your neighbor. Is it loving your neighbor if they come to Mass seeking & you do not even say hello? Is it loving your neighbor if you ignore them & refuse to study Gods word with them in a Bible study cause you were “focused on God” Sunday morning & didn’t bother to see that someone wanted to meet? Does it somehow make your Love for God Stronger to focus on the First of His commandments & ignore the 2nd?

As the Father loved Me, I also loved you; continue in My love. If you keep My commandments you will continue in My love, as I have kept My Father’s commandments and continue in His love. I have spoken these things to you that My joy may abide in you, and your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I loved you. Greater love than this has no one, that anyone should lay down his soul for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. I no longer call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his lord does. But I called you friends, because all things which I heard from My Father I made known to you. You have not chosen Me, but I chose you out and planted you,** that you should go and should bear fruit**, and your fruit remain, that whatever you should ask the Father in My name, He may give you. T**hese things I command you, that you love one another. **(John 15:9-17)

How can you even pray for fellow believers if you don’t know their needs? Is saying “peace be with you” “and also with you” enveloping people with Gods love and really helping them in their walk with God? No. It is a SIGN of it, not the end itself.

Acts 2:42-47 (NASB)

42They were continually **devoting themselves** to the apostles' teaching **and to fellowship**, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

43Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles.
44And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common;
45and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need.
46Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart,
47praising God and having favor with all the people And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.

I’m sorry, but here I see its a picture of the early church, but it looks nothing like the Catholic parishes I attended. You cannot help people with their needs if you know nothing of them. Donating some money to the church when you go there to focus on God alone might help someone pay an electricity bill or get something to eat, but you neglected the most important of their needs… the need to know the Love of God through you showing them how Jesus would behave towards them.

Fellowship is not about donuts, its about showing Gods love to others, thinking of someone besides yourself. The Church is a Body of People who come together. You cannot just ignore all the parts of it but your own. If you are a foot or a hand, how will you work without the rest of the Body?

18But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired.
19If they were all one member, where would the body be?
** 20But now there are many members, but one body. **
** 21And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.”**
22On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary;
23and those members of the body which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and our less presentable members become much more presentable,
24whereas our more presentable members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked,
25so that there may be no division in the body,** but that the members may have the same care for one another. **
** 26And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.**
27Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.

And yet you have no need of talking to me, After all you are there to worship, not to socialize! How can you care for someone you know nothing about? I am talking about Relationship and Partnership, not gossip and donuts!

 

[Syele]

another thought: We are around humans all week long… Doesn’t God deserve an hour, at least, of our un-divided attention??

I mean, i look at the Mass as fellowshipping iwth God… Frankly, fellowshipping with sinful humans can be very draining!

Actually at my Protestant Church we have Fellowship before and after Church and give God about 3 hours of our undivided attention in the middle.

 

[Believe_85]

Hi syele,
I think it’s sad you didn’t see any fellowship at the churches you went to. I think it’s rather strange, too, because I agree there should be an outward sign of care for each other at church. I personally have been a parishoner of 6 churches in two different states, and visited countless others and always hear in the announcements, read in the bulletin, see on the parish website, hear people discussing all of the events and programs offered at these churches. The Knights of Columbus greet everyone at the door, even the late ones with a smile and a welcome. The priest and deacons shake hands and know many people by their first name. I get mail from the parish advertising food drives and school fundraisers…

I don’t mention all of this to discount your experiences at all. I believe you really saw and felt what you did. I just wonder if maybe there was a cultural difference between the Catholics you attended church with and what you expected to see from a non-Catholic perspective. Personally, any time I visit a Protestant church I feel culture shock. It’s just different, the affection is more “out there” so to speak. I don’t think one way is better than the other and don’t think you are wrong in any way to feel like we should have more fellowship at Mass…I just wonder if perhaps you didn’t see the kind of fellowship you expected. As other people have mentioned, a lot of Catholics, especially adult converts and Pre-Vatican II parishoners are more stoic at Mass and center their Mass experience around the Sacrament. I think you made some good points about how we should show love for one another, but I hope you can also see how some people based on their own backgrounds might go about displaying affection a different way, perhaps more privately.

God Bless.

 

[Syele]

Hi syele,
I think it’s sad you didn’t see any fellowship at the churches you went to. I think it’s rather strange, too, because I agree there should be an outward sign of care for each other at church. I personally have been a parishoner of 6 churches in two different states, and visited countless others and always hear in the announcements, read in the bulletin, see on the parish website, hear people discussing all of the events and programs offered at these churches. The Knights of Columbus greet everyone at the door, even the late ones with a smile and a welcome. The priest and deacons shake hands and know many people by their first name. I get mail from the parish advertising food drives and school fundraisers…

I don’t mention all of this to discount your experiences at all. I believe you really saw and felt what you did. I just wonder if maybe there was a cultural difference between the Catholics you attended church with and what you expected to see from a non-Catholic perspective. Personally, any time I visit a Protestant church I feel culture shock. It’s just different, the affection is more “out there” so to speak. I don’t think one way is better than the other and don’t think you are wrong in any way to feel like we should have more fellowship at Mass…I just wonder if perhaps you didn’t see the kind of fellowship you expected. As other people have mentioned, a lot of Catholics, especially adult converts and Pre-Vatican II parishoners are more stoic at Mass and center their Mass experience around the Sacrament. I think you made some good points about how we should show love for one another, but I hope you can also see how some people based on their own backgrounds might go about displaying affection a different way, perhaps more privately.

God Bless.

I’m sure parishes in different places are varied. So i don’t discount that many have these things. The ones I attended though, there were men at the door who silently handed me a missal every Mass. They might have been Knights of Columbus, I don’t know. I did not expct hugs and long chats after mass. But a simple hello would have been nice, or perhaps a Bible study to attend.

At the mention of Fellowship here, I am quickly shot down with “I don’t need to socialize” “I don’t even like donuts” “I’m there for God only” etc. At the same time I see many people even here on CAF struggling with lack of deep fellowship. One was even in this thread. How many people are hurting for Christin relationships in these parishes and you shake their hand and offer them peace but nothing else?

I know this is not an imaginary problem with the Catholic Church. And its not unique to New Mexico, USA.

 

[allhers]

Syele, Did you introduce yourself or expect everyone to notice you because you were new to a Parish? Did you ever ask Father what you could do to help out? Did you read the bulletin and find out what activities you could get involved in? Did you ever ask that a Bible group be formed or anything else that you are addressing? I smile at people but I don’t talk to them in Mass, that is not what the Mass is for. I don’t even talk to my family at Mass. There are plently of other activies to get involved in if you want to socialize and become a part of the “bigger picture”. Some are called to teach, some to take part as being a Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, all Catholic men are invited to be Knights of Columbus, their wives are never excluded in their order, its all about family. Their are groups of people who are Rosary Makers, groups that visit the sick, and do the other corporal works of mercy and Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, Pro life groups, Food for the Poor groups, helping out at the Religious Articles conter, helping prepare people for the reception of the Sacraments, helping those who don’t have a ride to Mass, just ask how you can get involved.
Please try again, perhaps you weren’t in a very active Parish at that time, or maybe you are a very shy person, I don’t know, just don’t think that there isn’t a place for you, in God’s Kingdom there is a place for everyone. Most Parishes have a list of things you can do when you register, maybe you never registered, or didn’t get the list or didn’t read it. I don’t know.

 

[mercygate]

I can’t help recalling an anecdote I heard about GK Chesterton (I think), who said that of all the churches he had visited, the Catholic Church was the most congenial because nobody assaulted him and tried to talk to him . . .

 

[Syele]

Syele, Did you introduce yourself or expect everyone to notice you because you were new to a Parish?

I did on a few occasions. once (it was after Mass was over, not during it certainly!) when I asked about a Bible Study, he said there wasn’t one but pointed to a big wall full of tract like pamphlets. Yes, some were helpful to answer questions, but quite impersonal.

id you ever ask Father what you could do to help out?

I had several meetings with him as I was engaged to be married in the Church. He was less than kind.

Did you read the bulletin and find out what activities you could get involved in?

Of course, I very much wanted to be involved. There wasn’t much in it, occasionally notices about Baptism or a wedding. Once I was happy to see there was going to be a summer VBS for the kids about Saints, but it was canceled cause not enough people signed up to work at it.

Did you ever ask that a Bible group be formed or anything else that you are addressing?

Frankly, once the Priest at one told me the man who Baptized me was going to hell for sure, I didn’t feel incredibly comfortable asking for things.

I smile at people but I don’t talk to them in Mass, that is not what the Mass is for. I don’t even talk to my family at Mass.

The Parish that was near the University, had people who at least smiled occasionally. Again I’m not referring to DURING Mass. That would be rude.

There are plently of other activies to get involved in if you want to socialize and become a part of the “bigger picture”. Some are called to teach, some to take part as being a Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, all Catholic men are invited to be Knights of Columbus, their wives are never excluded in their order, its all about family. Their are groups of people who are Rosary Makers, groups that visit the sick, and do the other corporal works of mercy and Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, Pro life groups, Food for the Poor groups, helping out at the Religious Articles conter, helping prepare people for the reception of the Sacraments, helping those who don’t have a ride to Mass, just ask how you can get involved.

The point was there there was nothing like you suggest. I was not Catholic, only engaged to one so could not participate directly in Mass. “The religious articles” area I’m assuming you mean the tracts in bin on the wall that no human attended to? I Actively looked for groups that helped the poor or did other things, I did it because I was considering converting and wanted to be a part of what the Church was doing. Thing is, it wasn’t doing anything.

 

[allhers]

I did on a few occasions. once (it was after Mass was over, not during it certainly!) when I asked about a Bible Study, he said there wasn’t one but pointed to a big wall full of tract like pamphlets. Yes, some were helpful to answer questions, but quite impersonal.

I had several meetings with him as I was engaged to be married in the Church. He was less than kind.

Of course, I very much wanted to be involved. There wasn’t much in it, occasionally notices about Baptism or a wedding. Once I was happy to see there was going to be a summer VBS for the kids about Saints, but it was canceled cause not enough people signed up to work at it.

Frankly, once the Priest at one told me the man who Baptized me was going to hell for sure, I didn’t feel incredibly comfortable asking for things.

The Parish that was near the University, had people who at least smiled occasionally. Again I’m not referring to DURING Mass. That would be rude.

The point was there there was nothing like you suggest. I was not Catholic, only engaged to one so could not participate directly in Mass. “The religious articles” area I’m assuming you mean the tracts in bin on the wall that no human attended to? I Actively looked for groups that helped the poor or did other things, I did it because I was considering converting and wanted to be a part of what the Church was doing. Thing is, it wasn’t doing anything.

Sure doesn’t sound like you were in a very active Parish at that time, but also kind of sounds like you didn’t do all you could to really seek it out either.
But, there is always the future, I am sorry he was less than kind, perhaps it was something to do with (maybe, and I certainly am not suggesting that there is any room for rudeness, but perhaps it had something to do with what he ate that day, they are human too.) Maybe it was all just bad timing. I have heard from others that they have run into this kind of thing, happily that has never happened to me.
The religious articles counter that I refer to is usually in another building or outside of the Church itself, where they sell Religious articles, not pass out tracts, but even if it were only a wall of tracts, some human had to put them there and they must have had some contact phone numbers or something on them.
None of the Catholic Church’s that I have ever been to were anything like what you experienced, I am sorry that was the way it was for you. All I can say is try again, and this time, talk to the Priest and those that are in charge of the Ministries that you are interested in.
If at first you don’t suceed, try, try again.

 

[Believe_85]

I did on a few occasions. once (it was after Mass was over, not during it certainly!) when I asked about a Bible Study, he said there wasn’t one but pointed to a big wall full of tract like pamphlets. Yes, some were helpful to answer questions, but quite impersonal.

I had several meetings with him as I was engaged to be married in the Church. He was less than kind.

Of course, I very much wanted to be involved. There wasn’t much in it, occasionally notices about Baptism or a wedding. Once I was happy to see there was going to be a summer VBS for the kids about Saints, but it was canceled cause not enough people signed up to work at it.

Frankly, once the Priest at one told me the man who Baptized me was going to hell for sure, I didn’t feel incredibly comfortable asking for things.

The Parish that was near the University, had people who at least smiled occasionally. Again I’m not referring to DURING Mass. That would be rude.

The point was there there was nothing like you suggest. I was not Catholic, only engaged to one so could not participate directly in Mass. “The religious articles” area I’m assuming you mean the tracts in bin on the wall that no human attended to? I Actively looked for groups that helped the poor or did other things, I did it because I was considering converting and wanted to be a part of what the Church was doing. Thing is, it wasn’t doing anything.

If it was a rural church or even served a small parish in a big city, then that might be why there was not a lot going on. Also, it depends on the motivation of the church members themselves. If they are worship centered, they may care more about Mass and less about fellowship at church. It’s a cultural thing! It’s nothing personal and with as many testaments that have been listed here about what other parishes have going on, I hope you won’t limit your opinion only to the experiences you have had so far.

 

[Syele]

If it was a rural church or even served a small parish in a big city, then that might be why there was not a lot going on. Also, it depends on the motivation of the church members themselves. If they are worship centered, they may care more about Mass and less about fellowship at church. It’s a cultural thing! It’s nothing personal and with as many testaments that have been listed here about what other parishes have going on, I hope you won’t limit your opinion only to the experiences you have had so far.

I don’t limit my opinion to only that however, I think believing that lack of fellowship is not a problem when people are posting here that they struggle with that and others are simply saying its not important, is sticking your head in the sand. I am happy for you that some of you have wonderful parishes that are not having that difficulty.

 

[allhers]

Syele, from what you have posted here it sounds like you would be a great asset to any Parish life. I hope that in the future you are a teacher or in the Ministry to learn and share the Bible with others. It also sounds like you’d do great at being someone involved with social justice of some kind. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope that you will give us another try.

 

[sires6]

I don’t limit my opinion to only that however, I think believing that lack of fellowship is not a problem when people are posting here that they struggle with that and others are simply saying its not important, is sticking your head in the sand. I am happy for you that some of you have wonderful parishes that are not having that difficulty.

Syele, When I first was dragged to the Catholic Church, I asked the priest after Mass, where was fellowship, or Bible classes because I wanted to get to know the people. Now you need to understand that this is one of the busiest churches in Alexandria, VA. He looked at me strangely and said, Ugh, I don’t know. then he kind of left me standing there.

I have learned since then that it’s just not the same in the Catholic faith as it is in most Protestant denominations.

I will try to explain. you see, in the Baptist Churches I was involved in, there were “greeters” and “ushers” and “fellowship” and you were expected to talk to someone and the church expected to “share” and “give testimony time” or whatever. Really, it’s window dressing. It’s a way to make you “feel” good. A way to make you feel as though you belong and make you feel socialization.

when I started attending Catholic Church Masses, I realized that the RCC is not about making you “feel” anything. You can participate in anything the church offers there, but the onus is on you. If you want to be a part of the lady’s group, you may have to go find the ladies and make the group! If you want to learn more about the Bible, then you may have to offer your time to build a Bible Study or lead one! If you want to get to meet people, you may have to start talking to them! and I know this is hard, but it’s like living in a small town, they may need a litle time to “warm up to you” and get to know you, before they invite you into their homes, lives and families.

I found it very hard to “switch gears”. I truly understand now that it is not that there is a lack of fellowship, it’s just different. Like living in the country vs. living in the city.

Try to determine the kind of fellowship you want. What is it you want? Do you want to meet some other families (assuming you have a family) and have a get together? Are you looking for a young couples kind of thing? Do you just want someone to talk to about the Catholic Faith.

Truly the easiest way to get to know people is through the Religious Education, teaching, learning, or helping.

Once I started with RCIA, then it was like the masks of the anonymous faces fell off and
I started to get to know people and get involved.

Good luck and don’t be discouraged.

 

[Hilde89]

Please name the Number One thing you think is the hardest to believe about Catholicism. Thanks.

The authority of tradition.

Also the stuff about Mary, and Purgatory.

Not attacking or anything, just answering the question frankly.

 

[HashemEchad]

I’m not Protestant, I am a religious Jew…but I wanted to put my 2 cents in here because I’m coming around to seeing the kind of frustration Protestants must feel when they debate Catholics, because I’ve been doing it for a little bit now.

I have never before seen people try so hard, doctrinally and historically, to fit square pegs into round holes before…I have debated Protestants before, and I never had to deal with this.

I don’t care what Catholics believe, but when they try to make me accept their religion as a Jew, and I show them why a knowledgeable Jew could never accept Catholicism because of all the obvious doctrinal and historical “holes” in it from a Jewish POV, I feel like I am banging my head against the wall because they will find some way, no matter how illogical it sounds, to make their doctrines “fit”. It would drive me nuts if I had to do that all day.

But I understand now why much of Catholicism is built upon visions apparitions and the like. And why Judaism and Protestantism are not.

Sorry if I offended anyone, but this is just mind-blowing to me.