- Ok, so the dispensation is fairly easily obtained. But it isn’t just a formality, right? You see, my gfs mother has been badmouthing me to the family priest, and I would rather not deal with him if he could easily jam the wheels.
It isn’t optional to meet with the priest. It is a required piece of the marriage counseling. Again, you are looking for short cuts or a way to bypass the Catholic marriage requirements and that is not possible.
The priest will counsel you two confidentially and objectively. No, the paperwork isn’t a formality. But, it will likely be granted except in the gravist circumstances. “Her parents don’t like him” isn’t a valid reason to deny the request.
If her parents are badmouthing you, why is that? How involved are they in her life? How will you deal with this once married? You have some serious issues unrelated to Church paperwork.
- Yes, so if I got baptized she could have her sacramental marriage.
That is not a reason to get baptized. Baptism is a serious step in becoming a Christian. It comes with obligations. It is a statement of faith. Do you believe in the triune God? Will you practice the Christian faith?
If not, do not step forward for baptism.
My gf made an appointment with the priest she is seeing at campus because she is worried that her family priest is displeased with this entire situation (almost certainly true thanks to her hysterical mother). Sad thing that she has to see this fairly unknown priest instead of the guy she has known since she was a child, but what can you do.
Well, it is hard to tell from your description whether or not her mother has valid concerns. If your girlfriend isn’t mature enough to face her childhood priest, and instead is employing avoiding behaviors and cannot stand up to her family-- buddy, you’ve got problems that have nothing to do with religion.
It isn’t going to go away. It is best for her to deal with it.
If I propose and we go through with this, we will have several meetings with the priest where we need to provide documentation and make preparations for the ceremony. I guess that includes some counseling, but it doesn’t sound like we have to take classes. We will just talk with the priest. This is what my gf says, but maybe she is downplaying it to ease my worries. The relevant website only mention the documentation and preparations for the ceremony. Maybe it is a cultural difference.
There will be premarital preparation of some time. Each diocese has it’s own methods and programs. It may be a series of meetings with a priest. It may be a few meetings with the priest plus a formal class done by parish staff, or it may be a retreat such as “Engaged Encounter” which is a weekend program. It may be meetings with a a sponsor couple. It varies from diocese to diocese as to how the implement the premarital preparation.
There are many, many perils involved in a mixed marriage. I hope you two have both discussed how you will raise your family, how you will handle adhering to Church requirements such as the obligation to attend Mass and to Church moral teaching such as the immorality of contraception. Also how you will incorporate Catholic traditions into the family-- such as Advent wreaths, fasting/abstinence from meat during Lent, and other things like Rosary devotion, etc.
This is how I understand it: