These are commonly misunderstood “ideas,” even some Muslims don’t understand. The ayah in the Qur’an 4:34 is a guide for husbands to follow before resorting to divorce, for a woman who is very disobedient in her religion–and this is a grave thing, not just “won’t listen to them” like you said. Moreover, the ayah actually is preventing any sort of domestic abuse. Rather than allowing the husband to hit his wife, he first has to instruct her, tell her what she is doing is wrong. If she persists, then he is to leave her bed. And if she still persists, the last resort before a divorce is to supposedly “hit” her, although some scholars even take the opinion that “hit” actually means for the husband to have intercourse with his wife again. Others allow it means hitting but in such a way that no mark is left, and not on the face, in such a way that is merely symbolic, so lightly as if being hit by a toothbrush.
Regarding women’s supposed “deficiency” the hadith is saying that women perform less prayers than men do–in general it’s true, women have a lighter obligation in regards to prayer, because they do not have to pray while menstruating. And about intelligence, the suggestion is that women are more sensitive to their emotions than logic–which is a benefit in its own way, and also a physiological truth. It’s not so much an insult really–he was encouraging the women to give in charity.