Question for People Who Have Spiritual Directors

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(Or for those who have had S.D.'s in the past. ) What are your thoughts on S.D.? Has it helped you? Do you think it’s pretty important for those who want to make progress in the spiritual life? How important is it to carefully choose a S.D.? (St. Teresa said be discerning about whom you choose, i.e. S.D. ought to be learned and devout, etc.) I think I ought to have one, but I am not a very trusting person, perhaps, and want to feel like the S.D. will understand me and be competent in guiding my soul before I submit myself to him. Thanks.
 
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I’m really interested to hear others answers to these questions too .
God bless.
 
I’m interested, too. As a new Catholic, I’ve heard of a SD but don’t know why I need one or what they do or where to find one!
 
I have an SD who are a couple that work together. I didn’t choose them as you state, it just really came about. I can discuss issues that are tricky to discuss with others, who do not have the knowledge or the experience that I need.

For me to have both SD have been critical in my spiritual walk with Our Lord. I have been very blessed to have two very caring and understanding people to work with.
 
I would say that meeting with a priest (every 4-6 weeks) during the time it took to be received into the Catholic Church was very important. I could talk about issues that were too personal to be talked about in the RCIA group. It has helped me immensely in growing as a human being but also to naturally grow in faith in Christ. I have continued to see him after and he is in the same age as my grand parents would be. We met the first time during a retreat he was leading.
 
I’m interested in the responses to this topic too.

I’m always reading that one should have a spiritual director, but I honestly can’t see myself ever getting one for various reasons.
 
My SD has helped me to examine my thoughts and actions in light of how I interact with others, and has also challenged me to read more theological books. I felt like I was getting very “comfortable” and need the little push to pray more deeply, spend more time in silence, and really be more in tune with God’s will, by settling down more often, and just listening to God. Sometimes when we think we are listening, we are just projecting what we THINK to replace what God thinks. It’s good to have a person listen to us speak, and then challenge us:
Why?
What happened that led you to this notion?
Does God really operate thus?

Pray for enlightenment, etc.
It’s like having a teacher who gently guides instead of lecturing,
 
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Having a spiritual director has been the greatest gift I’ve ever received. Being able to talk with someone whose main interest is my relationship with God and how I can best live my spiritual life is huge.
 
My SD has helped me focus on my spiritual growth & development & has given me tools to achieve such.
 
The vid with the priest points up one of the concerns I have with this whole spiritual director business. There are too many opportunities for one or the other person to just step off the bus.

I would be more comfortable if Adult Education, or the local college, offered a course called “Spiritual Direction 101” and then you went in and did 8 weeks of meeting every week with a spiritual director who was guaranteed to be there, show up, not be too busy, etc because they are committed to doing the 8-week course. At the end of the 8 weeks you can choose to take another course with same instructor or choose to take somebody else’s course or choose to just skip the whole thing. Same for weekend retreats. The above is basically how I learned all my other skills in life that didn’t come from a parent or self-taught with a book at home.

Informal mentor relationships, which is what spiritual direction is, never worked out for me at work (unless they just happened naturally because you were working with somebody all day and liked them - any sort of attempt to “assign a mentor” was a bust) and I am dubious about them working out here. I have a personal hangup that I always think I am taking up someone’s time or bothering them and because of that I tend to avoid having any sort of personal discussion with anyone I do not have a real strong relationship with - even in those cases I have experienced some really bad rejections. To have it happen in a spiritual context would be damaging to me. So no thank you. We will stay in our bear cave with the books, videos, and rosaries.
 
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This is some good advice Father Mike in the video is giving. I ask a priest at our parish to be my spiritual director but maybe should have just asked to speak with him a bit at first. He was pretty good as a spiritual director, to a degree, for me. But I wasn’t really feeling it. I met with him maybe four times. Then stopped. It was kind of awkward, stopping. I should have said something to him but didn’t about not doing it anymore. Definitely created some tension that was my fault. I was uncertain really if I should have kept with him or not. Getting a S.D. or taking one on is kind of a commitment and it’s a bit awkward, was for me, breaking up with a S.D. So yeah, discern carefully. But that is a whole other topic. 🙂
 
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Not sure if I 100% agree with the last part he said. It seems like he said it doesn’t really matter if you have a S.D. or not. The H.S. will guide you anyways.

Saints and other experts have said something more along the lines that if you really want to grow in Holiness, it is imprudent not to seek out a spiritual director, as you have no one except yourself, for the most part, to keep an eye on you, see what might not be right and call you on what’s going on in your spiritual life, etc. Sort of like when Mark Twain said that anyone who has himself for a lawyer has a fool for a client.

So that is what I’m thinking regarding the last part of what he said.
 
I think it’s best to have a well educated religious brother or nun or most of the time priest be your S.D. Not anyone else, but that is my feeling. And I’m sure there are S.D.s out there that are great that are none of the above.
 
I think you are somewhat misunderstanding the role of a spiritual director. They are not there so much to be instructors, but guides in your spiritual life as to how things are moving in your day to day life, or week to week or month to month. They are not a therapist. but they really are hands on to help you to progress in Holiness. I’m sure someone else can explain it better.

It’s important to remember that a priest gives his life up to be at the service of others. For those with the time and desire and talent to be a S.D. I think you are not “taking up their time”. It is a worth while, substantive work of God that both can feel good about.
 
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A spiritual director is not a teacher, it is a person who walks with you in faith.
They should know Church teaching, but one should be more concerned with their spirituality rather than their education.

In this day & age, with a shortage of priests, it would be much easier to find a lay director. There are many good programs out there for lay people who want to be spiritual directors. I would not discount them. They know the struggles that other lay people have, and in many cases might be better equipped to help them.
 
I’m a big fan of having a Spiritual Director. I meet with him about twice a month, and it’s very helpful.

Every time, I meet with him, I’m spiritually recharged.

I told my pastor that I was looking for a spiritual director and he prayed on it for a few days and then recommended someone for me. It’s been great.

I recommend starting by letting your pastor know you are looking for one. He will either recommend someone or offer to be your spiritual director.

God Bless
 
I’d accept that. I think just some people might too easily take on a person as their “spiritual director” when that person has no training in it or an adequate knowledge of the spiritual life and really may not be the best person to be doing that. But that is just my impression.
 
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The priests I know are so, so busy.
I do not have an urgent need. People who are sick, dying, have serious family dysfunction, or are trying hard to overcome doubts, come back to the Church, deal with crises in their lives, have urgent needs. I am fortunate. I do pretty well. I was also raised to be self-reliant, not depend on anyone, and keep my business to myself.

For me to go get a spiritual director would be a huge matter of trust. There are people who have spent their lives hanging around the church, getting to know all the priests, being a part of groups and things. I am not one of those people. I am also not terribly friendly in real life. (I do better on the Internet, couldn’t you guess?) I am doing well to be to the point where I can be casually friendly with priests, let alone start discussing some super important matter with them face to face. When I’ve had to confess a big sin, I find some huge out of the way place to do it that has a lot of priests so I will likely never see the priest in question again or if I do he won’t know me and I might not know him.

Maybe in 10 years I will feel differently but this is just one huge uncomfortable area for me right now. I am not seeing any benefit.
 
Well, Fr. Mike in the video had some good advice. S.D. can start out as a “do you have a half hour I could ask you some questions or talk to you about what’s going on, or maybe just 15.” Then see how that works.

But it’s not an absolute necessity, of course. I think some of us need one more than others. 🙂 Pretty sure the right one would be very helpful for me.
 
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