S
Shakuhachi
Guest
How about a non-ordained religious?
- Status
S
SuperLuigi
Guest
Works for me!
16
16
S
Shakuhachi
Guest
I think a lot comes down to personality compatibility and respect.
J
JamalChristophr
Guest
You mean a brother or sister, right? I would be comfortable with that, but as we have said, it depends on the first visit, I suppose.
U
UpUpAndAway
Guest
Though currently unguided (my [stupid] choice), I have had spiritual directors in the past and it has always helped me. I did have one SD with whom I ultimately had to cut ties under unfortunate circumstances, but that is not to say that I realized no benefit from the relationship at all.
I am a married woman. My SDs are always priests because my spiritual situation is particular and requires one. I have tried going to non-ordained religious as well as laypersons, all of whom told me that I need a priest. Though my parish priest does not guide me, he too agrees that if I am to be accompanied, it must be by a priest. That said, in general an SD does not have to be a priest. Certain situations make it necessary or at least highly desirable, but many people can be capably guided by non-ordained religious or laypersons.
Anyone who wishes to grow in holiness should at least be open to spiritual direction. It is important that the director and directee are a good fit or you risk wasting each others’ time. Total disclosure, or at least the possibility of it, is vital to effective direction. For those who wish to pursue this option, I suggest looking for someone who will tell you what you need to hear and not simply what you want to hear. Seek to improve your path, not just to be understood where you are now on your spiritual journey. Finding the right SD often takes patience and persistence. I know someone who went unguided for eight years before finding an appropriate SD. Don’t give up!
I don’t think the spiritual direction relationship can be reduced to one of submission by the directee to the director. My SDs have all said they are not there to tell me what to do, but to help me understand what I do and figure out what I should be doing.
Like the OP, I have trust issues so it is not easy for me to open up to a new potential director. In the end, one must decide if one is going to allow a tendency to distrust to stand between him and God.
Recommended reading: Navigating the Interior Life: Spiritual Direction and the Journey to God by Dan Burke and Fr. John Bartunek
I am a married woman. My SDs are always priests because my spiritual situation is particular and requires one. I have tried going to non-ordained religious as well as laypersons, all of whom told me that I need a priest. Though my parish priest does not guide me, he too agrees that if I am to be accompanied, it must be by a priest. That said, in general an SD does not have to be a priest. Certain situations make it necessary or at least highly desirable, but many people can be capably guided by non-ordained religious or laypersons.
Anyone who wishes to grow in holiness should at least be open to spiritual direction. It is important that the director and directee are a good fit or you risk wasting each others’ time. Total disclosure, or at least the possibility of it, is vital to effective direction. For those who wish to pursue this option, I suggest looking for someone who will tell you what you need to hear and not simply what you want to hear. Seek to improve your path, not just to be understood where you are now on your spiritual journey. Finding the right SD often takes patience and persistence. I know someone who went unguided for eight years before finding an appropriate SD. Don’t give up!
I don’t think the spiritual direction relationship can be reduced to one of submission by the directee to the director. My SDs have all said they are not there to tell me what to do, but to help me understand what I do and figure out what I should be doing.
Like the OP, I have trust issues so it is not easy for me to open up to a new potential director. In the end, one must decide if one is going to allow a tendency to distrust to stand between him and God.
Recommended reading: Navigating the Interior Life: Spiritual Direction and the Journey to God by Dan Burke and Fr. John Bartunek
Last edited:
M
melvfe
Guest
Well I am thinking of whether I should get one too! I would personally prefer priests to be my spiritual director.
Personally, I know two priests.
One priest used to be my parish priest but he changed parish very recently. He doesn’t know me well but he speaks a foreign language that I learn, so I often conversed to him in this language. In fact, I think the last time round we contacted each other, he seemed to have forgotten who I am. I understand that when priests change parish in my country often so it’s not a surprising fact that they forget the members from the older parish.
Another priest is my Godfather but sadly, I also don’t know him very well…
We see each other monthly though but for some strange reason, I don’t know why, but I clam up easily when I am around him.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Personally, I know two priests.
One priest used to be my parish priest but he changed parish very recently. He doesn’t know me well but he speaks a foreign language that I learn, so I often conversed to him in this language. In fact, I think the last time round we contacted each other, he seemed to have forgotten who I am. I understand that when priests change parish in my country often so it’s not a surprising fact that they forget the members from the older parish.
Another priest is my Godfather but sadly, I also don’t know him very well…
We see each other monthly though but for some strange reason, I don’t know why, but I clam up easily when I am around him.Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
S
Shakuhachi
Guest
Maybe a good question: What do you expect from a SD?
U
UpUpAndAway
Guest
Two questions.
Why do you wish to be directed spiritually (in other words, what is your objective)?
Why would you prefer to have a spiritual director who is a priest?
Why do you wish to be directed spiritually (in other words, what is your objective)?
Why would you prefer to have a spiritual director who is a priest?
Last edited:
M
melvfe
Guest
Hmm I went through some spiritual awakening experiences and spiritual crises as of late so I was hoping that someone of strong spiritual standing would be able to guide me.
I am considering requesting my Godparent who is a priest to be my spiritual director. However, it is only consideration in progress because of many factors I need to think about and assess before I select a spiritual director. Thank you!
I am considering requesting my Godparent who is a priest to be my spiritual director. However, it is only consideration in progress because of many factors I need to think about and assess before I select a spiritual director. Thank you!
S
Shakuhachi
Guest
SD is something dioceses should take more seriously, provide training and encourage more
Last edited:
T
Talitha712
Guest
Spiritual direction has helped me tremendously. I’d recommend them to anyone looking for spiritual growth. But beware, not everyone who calls themself one is good, even among priests and religious. Even a very good one might not be right for you, and there’s no shame in that. Your first few meetings are important in deciding whether you’re a fit match.
A good spiritual director will start and end with prayer. They will tell you about any training or experience they may have. They will seek your soul and depend on God to help them guide you. And they will NEVER try to control you. They are guides, not masters.
As for the trust thing, don’t worry - God will work around it. I’m shy, but can normally speak well one-to-one. Not during spiritual direction. No matter how I prepare, my mind goes blank and I struggle. My poor spiritual director, a kind Carmelite with the patience of a saint, doesn’t deserve my reservations but they’re there anyway. But the thing is, he trusts the Holy Spirit to nudge him in the right direction. He’ll point me toward a saint or a new prayer - and lo and behold, there’s something that addresses the very thing that was troubling me. Or he’ll randomly answer a question that was in my heart, but hadn’t verbalized. He doesn’t even know until I point it out. So, if you find a spiritual director who trusts God like mine does, you’re ultimately putting yourself in God’s hands, not the SD’s.
A good spiritual director will start and end with prayer. They will tell you about any training or experience they may have. They will seek your soul and depend on God to help them guide you. And they will NEVER try to control you. They are guides, not masters.
As for the trust thing, don’t worry - God will work around it. I’m shy, but can normally speak well one-to-one. Not during spiritual direction. No matter how I prepare, my mind goes blank and I struggle. My poor spiritual director, a kind Carmelite with the patience of a saint, doesn’t deserve my reservations but they’re there anyway. But the thing is, he trusts the Holy Spirit to nudge him in the right direction. He’ll point me toward a saint or a new prayer - and lo and behold, there’s something that addresses the very thing that was troubling me. Or he’ll randomly answer a question that was in my heart, but hadn’t verbalized. He doesn’t even know until I point it out. So, if you find a spiritual director who trusts God like mine does, you’re ultimately putting yourself in God’s hands, not the SD’s.
- Status