question for women: modesty and doctors

[Ashurie]

The OP had a very traumatic experience which has shaped her views on this issue, so in a way I understand. Her mother seems to have placed her in a situation which caused her to be uncomfortable and I think that’s very legitimate.

Ah~ Poor thing, something like that would change someones view ): She definitely has my sympathies! I pray that she finds the strength and is healed due to the experience!

 

[Anna_jane]

I agree: it’s one thing for a woman to have her preferences in medical care and what she finds comfortable. But we shouldn’t imply that all male doctors are secretly lusting after their female patients. That’s really unfair to the many excellent physicians out there.
Let’s bear in mind the church has NEVER taught that being seen naked by a doctor was sinful. Or that women with a male physician/nurse are somehow less pure than those without.

 

[ModestWoman]

Well, if we’re really being consistent, then it seems logical to say “any female professional in the medical field will lust after their male patients”. But if that’s the case, then it seems we need to be recruiting a whole lot more men to join the nursing profession! The vast majority of nurses are female, this proportion is much more than that of female doctors. And most nurses have, at one time or another, inserted what is known as a Foley catheter. That is a tube that goes into the bladder to drain urine during surgery, or in the ICU, or in other patients who can’t void by themselves. A nurse inserting a Foley in a man HAS to touch his penis in order to do this. Even nurses who don’t have to perform this task often examine patients as part of their duties, see patients naked as they prep their bodies for surgery, etc.

Again, I respect patients’ preferences, and certainly if they are willing to undergo personal inconvenience to obtain those, more power to them. Especially if this means more support for women to become doctors, instead of the assumption that the vast majority of women are best suited to be wives, mothers, or religious sisters, and only have outside employment for dire financial needs.

However, I really hope that no woman goes without needed medical care due to this concern. For example, if a woman is in a serious accident and needs trauma care. It is part of the standard of care to remove all clothing from a trauma victim so they can be checked for injuries. Most trauma surgeons are men, and this is not the kind of situation where the woman has time to seek out a female surgeon.

Exposure of certain body parts is not the same as immodesty. Otherwise, nursing in public would always be immodest, just because it could result in an occasion of sin for some man (or woman, if she has has same-sex attractions).

You have asked a good question. I do believe that some female nurses do lust after their male patients. But they are less likely to lust than men. Women are not as visually stimulated as men. For example, many men have a hard time staying pure in thoughts when they see scantily dressed women on the beach. But women don’t struggle as much when they may see men in speedos.

I personally don’t want my future husband to ever have any intimate procedures by female nurses at all. It is easier for men in some ways because it’s not a big deal for them to be topless of course. I think they should hire more male nurses for male patients who are modest. In fact, you should check out some information about male patient modesty at patientmodesty.org/malemodesty.aspx. Look at some male modesty violation cases that some men submitted at patientmodesty.org/Case.aspx?GID=2. This shows that there are actually men who feel strongly about their modesty in medical settings. I bet you that many of those men don’t really think about the fact that female nurses may lust after them. They just feel uncomfortable with a female nurse seeing their private parts and they prefer that their wife be the only woman who can see their private parts. Many men are very uncomfortable with female nurses giving them bath when they are sick. Fortunately, many of those men are able to have their wives give them a bath.

Don’t forget that there are a lot of unnecessary urinary catheterizations that are done. Check out some information about this at patientmodesty.org/catheterizations.aspx. Urinary catheterizations are necessary in some situations, but I feel that they are overused.

 

[Melissa66]

I work as a nurse in a long term acute care hospital. The vast majority of nurses, both male and female, with whom I have worked are very professional and do not “lust” after patients. I have seen men and women of all shapes and sizes in every possible state of undress. I have a job to do and I do it. You would be hard pressed to find a nurse who enjoys placing a urinary catheter. Some patients would do well to take into account the nurses’ sense of modesty too. I have had patients from age 22 to 100 and I assure you that when you have seen one you have seen them all. Odds are you find your spouse much more interesting than the nurse ever will.

However, if you prefer a nurse or doctor of a particular sex then ask for one. I have asked the charge nurse to change assignments if I knew a little old lady preferred a female nurse. No one is offended and it is the nurse’s job to advocate for the patient. On the other hand I have also encountered patients who were so inappropriate with nurses that they seemed to think the nurse was their personal prostitute. In that case the nurses look out for each other and make sure their colleague is not left alone with the patient.

 

[LilyM]

I personally don’t want my future husband to ever have any intimate procedures by female nurses at all.

And I personally think that if your future husband were ill and the only available medical personnel who were able to assist him were female you’d change your tune in about half a millisecond and be begging for their help, not to mention thankful that they were there.

What if the male doctors and nurses who attend your future husband are sexually attracted to males (gay)? Or the female doctors and nurses who attend you are sexually attracted to women (lesbian)?

Yes, modesty is important and my personal preference, being female, is generally for female doctors for intimate procedures for myself. I’m lucky in that I live in the big smoke and have a wide range of doctors nearby to choose from.

However, my first duty and concern is to find the best doctor that I can in any given situation. I’m certainly not going to condemn myself or those I love to inferior medical care just because the best available doctors or nurses don’t happen to fit the preferred gender.

Up until the last 150 years at least ALL the most knowledgeable and best-educated and trained doctors were men. Without exception - women simply weren’t allowed into the profession at all.

And many women died needlessly through being so overscrupulous about modesty that they wouldn’t let these male doctors examine them properly. Or because the male doctors were so over-scrupulous that they wouldn’t examine the women thoroughly or treat them properly.

As a result the women either suffered inadequate care or resorted to ‘wise women’ who were woefully under-educated and under-equipped.

Like I said, if you have lots of equally good male and female doctors to choose from, that’s one thing. I do worry that a lot of women who aren’t so fortunate will feel compelled to neglect their health out of misplaced notions of modesty.

 

[ModestWoman]

And I personally think that if your future husband were ill and the only available medical personnel who were able to assist him were female you’d change your tune in about half a millisecond and be begging for their help, not to mention thankful that they were there.

What if the male doctors and nurses who attend your future husband are sexually attracted to males (gay)? Or the female doctors and nurses who attend you are sexually attracted to women (lesbian)?

Yes, modesty is important and my personal preference, being female, is generally for female doctors for intimate procedures for myself. I’m lucky in that I live in the big smoke and have a wide range of doctors nearby to choose from.

However, my first duty and concern is to find the best doctor that I can in any given situation. I’m certainly not going to condemn myself or those I love to inferior medical care just because the best available doctors or nurses don’t happen to fit the preferred gender.

Up until the last 150 years at least ALL the most knowledgeable and best-educated and trained doctors were men. Without exception - women simply weren’t allowed into the profession at all.

And many women died needlessly through being so overscrupulous about modesty that they wouldn’t let these male doctors examine them properly. Or because the male doctors were so over-scrupulous that they wouldn’t examine the women thoroughly or treat them properly.

As a result the women either suffered inadequate care or resorted to ‘wise women’ who were woefully under-educated and under-equipped.

Like I said, if you have lots of equally good male and female doctors to choose from, that’s one thing. I do worry that a lot of women who aren’t so fortunate will feel compelled to neglect their health out of misplaced notions of modesty.

The good news about men is that it is not a big deal for them to be topless. I don’t care for women to see him topless. I am talking about below the waist to the upper leg. It’s pretty rare for a man to have something life threatening with his male organs. Urinary catheterizations can wait. Catheterization doesn’t have to be done immediately so it would not be a big deal to wait for a male nurse to do the urinary catheterizations. There are too many unnecessary urinary catheterizations. In some situations, urinary catheterization is necessary. Look at patientmodesty.org/catheterizations.aspx.

As for true life threatening conditions such as heart attack, it is important that medical professionals do everything they can to save your life. But I think they should work very hard to protect your modesty. As you know, many female heart attack victims must have heart bypass surgery to save their lives. Most good heart surgeons in the US are male as you probably already know. I hope someday we can find a way for a lady’s breasts to be covered during heart surgery. There are some drapes so maybe they could be used to prevent male doctors from seeing them. ** I don’t see heart surgeons the same way as male gynecologists at all.** Heart surgeons are doctors who work hard to save people’s lives. Heart surgeons don’t do intimate procedures on women. I personally don’t think that men should be gynecologists at all. There are so many other specialties they could choose from. Again, I feel very differently about male cardiologist/heart surgeon than gynecologist. I hope it makes sense to you.

The truth is midwives delivered babies in the bible. There were no mammograms and pap smears before 1900s at all. There are so many wonderful female ob/gyns to choose from.

 

[jilly4ski]

The truth is midwives delivered babies in the bible. There were no mammograms and pap smears before 1900s at all. There are so many wonderful female ob/gyns to choose from.

But in many places there are not, in small towns and rural areas there might not be a choice in ob/gyns, and a woman in labor can’t drive 2/3 hours to a specific doctor. And yeah before the 1900s they also didn’t have antibiotics to treat infections, and lots women died from very treatable problems.

My mother goes to a male doctor that she trusts, she has had awful treatment by both male and female ob/gyns and so when she found this doctor whose exams didn’t hurt and actually listened to her concerns she stuck with that one, it happened to be male. I go to a practice that has one male (he no longer practices obstetrics), but when I got a pelvic exam from him, it was much gentler than the one the female midwife gave me. (actually I have had better exams from the obs, both male and female, rather than the female midwives in this particular practice). Are you suggesting that women who find a doctor who they find gives good exams and is an overall good doctor who listens to their concerns is being immodest for seeing a male?

 

[Joannm]

l There were no mammograms and pap smears before 1900s at all. There are so many wonderful female ob/gyns to choose from.

And many many women died of breast, ovarian and uterine cancers. These cancers, if caught early enough, can be cured (although ovarian cancer is difficult). Any woman who does not avail herself of these important exams is playing Russian Roulette with her life.

Personally I don’t care who it is who is examining me. The only thing I care about is if he or she knows what they are doing and do it well. I go to a practice with male and female Gyns. It doesn’t really matter which one I go to. I have never felt violated and I know they don’t look at me in any way except medical. I can’t imagine that looking at female organs, some of which may be diseased and not exactly perfectly hygienic, is a cause for lust. I can’t imagine examining women with a yeast infection turns on a man, I know it grossed me out just having one. Childbirth isn’t sexy either, but it is beautiful. If anything, I would think a Gyn, either male or female, would be thinking of the miracle that he or she is involved in in assisting a woman bringing life into the world.

I was an art major, at a Catholic university, and we had live models, male and female. I had never seen a naked man, but after the first time the shock wore off, especially since I had to concentrate on my drawing or painting if I wanted to pass the course. Besides, many of the models weren’t exactly sexy looking. I an no longer an artist, but I would have no problem drawing a nude male now. Most artists don’t lust after their models and I don’t believe doctors do either.

And as another poster pointed out…to say a doctor is turned on by seeing a naked patient could be compared to saying a priest is turned on by hearing confessions of a sexual nature by female penitents. So why is their no problem with a female confessing to a male priest, or discussing intimate details of their life with a priest?

 

[ThereseOfRoses]

Am I the only one that finds it ironic, if not a little irrational, that on one thread, women are admonished for not dressing modestly (immodest meaning pants, knee-length shorts, and sleeves above the elbow), since ALL males are visual, but on another thread, we have people stating that male doctors are not aroused, led into sin, etc by a nude female, simply because they are “medical professionals”?

They are men first, medical professionals second. I would guess that their “human nature” and “being visual” doesn’t go away with admission to medical school.

Please note, I’m not taking sides with either of these, I’m simply questioning the irony of it.

 

[ModestWoman]

And many many women died of breast, ovarian and uterine cancers. These cancers, if caught early enough, can be cured (although ovarian cancer is difficult). Any woman who does not avail herself of these important exams is playing Russian Roulette with her life.

Personally I don’t care who it is who is examining me. The only thing I care about is if he or she knows what they are doing and do it well. I go to a practice with male and female Gyns. It doesn’t really matter which one I go to. I have never felt violated and I know they don’t look at me in any way except medical. I can’t imagine that looking at female organs, some of which may be diseased and not exactly perfectly hygienic, is a cause for lust. I can’t imagine examining women with a yeast infection turns on a man, I know it grossed me out just having one. Childbirth isn’t sexy either, but it is beautiful. If anything, I would think a Gyn, either male or female, would be thinking of the miracle that he or she is involved in in assisting a woman bringing life into the world.

I was an art major, at a Catholic university, and we had live models, male and female. I had never seen a naked man, but after the first time the shock wore off, especially since I had to concentrate on my drawing or painting if I wanted to pass the course. Besides, many of the models weren’t exactly sexy looking. I an no longer an artist, but I would have no problem drawing a nude male now. Most artists don’t lust after their models and I don’t believe doctors do either.

And as another poster pointed out…to say a doctor is turned on by seeing a naked patient could be compared to saying a priest is turned on by hearing confessions of a sexual nature by female penitents. So why is their no problem with a female confessing to a male priest, or discussing intimate details of their life with a priest?

Ovarian cancer is best detected by ultrasound and blood test. Pap smear cannot find ovarian cancer at early stage. Remember that pap smear is to test for cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is caused by HPV, a STD 99% of the time. Pap smears are not really necessary for true virgins. Look at some helpful information regarding the necessity of pap smears for virgins at patientmodesty.org/virginandpapsmear.aspx. One Mayo Clinic doctor even wrote an article about this issue so I believe it to be reliable.

Can you explain why some male doctors have admitted that they have lustful thoughts when examining the private parts of female patients? For example, look at how one male doctor (I think he was a family doctor) who gave up doing gynecological examinations because he felt it was wrong at topix.com/forum/med/obstetrics-and-gynecology/TFC4747NUBFSG2JST/p4#c63.

Nude models for art is a horrible practice. I think it should be banned. I know that a lot of people see nude models as “free” pornography. The truth is pornography is a form of art.

I would refuse to be a part of an art class where nude models were present. I would go to the administration of the university and complain. If those live nude models walked outside, they could be charged with indecent exposure.

 

[ModestWoman]

It is clear that many of women on this forum don’t see anything wrong with male gynecologists.

I fully support JesusisMercy’s convictions and I hope she will stick to them and never see a male doctor for intimate procedures.

Even if I could be guaranteed that a male doctor would not lust after me, I still would not let him do intimate things on me at all. I believe that it’s God’s will for my future husband to be the only man to see certain parts of my body. This is the way JesusisMercy feels too.

 

[ModestWoman]

Am I the only one that finds it ironic, if not a little irrational, that on one thread, women are admonished for not dressing modestly (immodest meaning pants, knee-length shorts, and sleeves above the elbow), since ALL males are visual, but on another thread, we have people stating that male doctors are not aroused, led into sin, etc by a nude female, simply because they are “medical professionals”?

They are men first, medical professionals second. I would guess that their “human nature” and “being visual” doesn’t go away with admission to medical school.

Please note, I’m not taking sides with either of these, I’m simply questioning the irony of it.

I certainly find it ironic. I find it strange that pastors in Southern Baptist churches often preach that ladies should dress modestly and that they should only wear 1 piece bathing suits at the beach. But they are okay with male doctors seeing private parts of women they are not married in the name of medicine.

I am not a Catholic for your information. I just happened to find this forum posting on Google and I decided to post my comments. I sure wish I could have found this posting before JesusisMercy went to the doctor.

 

[Ailina]

Ovarian cancer is best detected by ultrasound and blood test. Pap smear cannot find ovarian cancer at early stage. Remember that pap smear is to test for cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is caused by HPV, a STD 99% of the time. Pap smears are not really necessary for true virgins. Look at some helpful information regarding the necessity of pap smears for virgins at patientmodesty.org/virginandpapsmear.aspx. One Mayo Clinic doctor even wrote an article about this issue so I believe it to be reliable. ** Gee, there is no such thing as unfaithful spouses infecting their unsuspecting spouses with HPV? It happens a lot, unfortunately. Just as some innocent spouses end up with other STDs that are brought home by unfaithful spouses.**

Can you explain why some male doctors have admitted that they have lustful thoughts when examining the private parts of female patients? For example, look at how one male doctor (I think he was a family doctor) who gave up doing gynecological examinations because he felt it was wrong at topix.com/forum/med/obstetrics-and-gynecology/TFC4747NUBFSG2JST/p4#c63. ** Yes, that man realized he was in the wrong business and got out of it. Not all doctors feel that way.**

Nude models for art is a horrible practice. I think it should be banned. I know that a lot of people see nude models as “free” pornography. The truth is pornography is a form of art. Heh, where did you get that idea? Pornography is subject matter that is intended to arouse lust in people. You can have a picture of a nude that is not pornographic and that does not arouse lust.

I would refuse to be a part of an art class where nude models were present. I would go to the administration of the university and complain. If those live nude models walked outside, they could be charged with indecent exposure.

**Good thing you don’t go to art college, in that case! It is hard for artists to draw or paint the human form if they don’t see it modeled live. It would be difficult to paint a fully correct figure if artists didn’t spend a lot of time in life study classes. Most art would end up looking stiff and unnatural. I work in an art college, and see nudity quite a bit, mostly in the books that pass through my hands. Some of it is pornographic due to the subject matter, yes, but most of it is not.

You had better avoid looking at some of the great religious works then, such as the Michelangelo paintings in the Sistine Chapel, or any cross with a nearly naked Christ hanging off of it, lest you start lusting in your heart. Absurd thought, isn’t it? Think of all those women following Jesus during his last hours on Good Friday. He was nearly naked for most of it.**

 

[spunjalebi]

It is clear that many of women on this forum don’t see anything wrong with male gynecologists.

I fully support JesusisMercy’s convictions and I hope she will stick to them and never see a male doctor for intimate procedures.

Even if I could be guaranteed that a male doctor would not lust after me, I still would not let him do intimate things on me at all. I believe that it’s God’s will for my future husband to be the only man to see certain parts of my body. This is the way JesusisMercy feels too.

No one is saying that it’s wrong or ridiculous for JIM to never want to see a male doctor for intimate purposes. By all means she should be entitled to see whatever doctor she wants, just as all patients are!

What I find ironic is the fact that for many, MANY years the only doctors around were men. And women could not be doctors until this past century because there were no opportunities or they were barred from being doctors. We cannot assume that all the male doctors were sinning and found their patients to be attractive.

And there is nothing wrong with wanting to only allow a same-sex doctor examine anyone for intimate procedures. Nothing wrong with it at all, but unfortunately for many that is a luxury. Some people are comfortable with allowing a male gynecologist to examine them, some people aren’t.

For the record, many obstetricians have been men for generations! Should we assume that they were all sinners? Remember folks, most of you were probably born with the help of a MALE OB! That’s just the way it was! It is a fact!

I think this thread went away from the original concern of the OP’s privacy and dignity being violated because the mother was careless at the time, to admonishing any male doctor who happens to have a female patient and sees certain parts of their body.

 

[Cracker_Mom]

Just a thought to throw in: our midwife did pap smears & sent the slides off to a lab.She said some women do their own pap smears (you can get the mirror, slides, etc, from a helpful midwife or medical supply) & send the slides off to the same lab. Not for the squeamish but sounds like it would work for folks who practise NFP & are familiar with their body & its functions.

 

[BrickRoux]

I have thought a lot about this.

In many ways, I had the same feelings. I saw a great male gynecologist, very kind and professional – but when I was on the table in the stirrups, I was shaking like a leaf, and I was subconsciously trying to shut my knees (which made the exam pretty tough).

I figured that it was because he was a male and so I went to switch to a female. Guess what? The same thing happened. I went back to my male gynecologist because I thought he was a better doctor, to tell the truth. Like another poster, I felt that is was much less judgmental about my plan to not use birth control after marriage (we have some long-rage health issues to talk about, which is why it came up; I won’t bore you with those).

I don’t want to be overly graphic and I’ll try not to be, but since we appear to be all girls here, let me go ahead and say that I think there’s something really unique to womanhood that makes us feel incredibly vulnerable and panicked when our knees are apart. It’s a feeling of panic and fear that I just can’t accurately describe to men. Male or female doctor, the speculum and stirrups and jelly is simply not nice and don’t reflect the beauty of our intimate body parts. Especially if you’re young and unfamiliar with this kind of procedure, they are prone to be upsetting.

Here is what I suggest to the original poster: for next time, try to see a female doctor and see if that helps. Mostly, though, have a clothed meeting with the doctor beforehand (ask for it when you make the appointment so that you’re sure there’s enough time; don’t take no for an answer). Explain that you have a very difficult time with the exam and ask if there are ways that you can mitigate your discomfort, like wearing your own clothes, only having one portion uncovered at a time (first breasts while wearing your own skirt or pants, and then the pelvic exam, while wearing your own shirt) and bringing your own clean blanket to cover your lap in. Honestly, the flimsiness of the gown and crinkliness of the paper just add to the sense of being outside your body, being out of control. You might also ask if you can bring music to calm you. You might need to just put one earbud in so that the doctor can ask you important questions during the exam, but it still might help.

A good doctor is one who listens to this, lets you take your time, and perhaps even books longer appointments for you so that these things can move slowly. Ironically, a male might be more understanding than a female. This has been my experience, at least.

I urge you not to fixate too much on the idea of lust. You cannot imagine how dispassionately 99.999% of all medical professionals view the human body; medical school is a long and arduous process that really, truly reshapes how a person views the body. If you prefer your regular gynecologist to be a female, I think that’s fine, but there may be a time when you’re in an emergency situation where males see you nude. I once was in a car crash and had to have my clothes cut off me, and one of the EMTs was a boy from my high school. Luckily, he was an absolutely gracious individual and assured me that he would never speak of this to anyone, and explained how his adrenaline kicks in during a rescue so much that all he can think of is medical care. I wouldn’t want you to be doubly traumatized by both an emergency and the fact that you were cared for by a male, so I urge you to work through this.

Also, just a thought: we tell priests – men – some of our lustful deeds and actions in confession and trust them not to use it as an occasion for sin, because we trust them in a professional and private capacity. It helps me a lot to think of it that way and let go and be helped.

 

[BrickRoux]

I have thought a lot about this.

In many ways, I had the same feelings. I saw a great male gynecologist, very kind and professional – but when I was on the table in the stirrups, I was shaking like a leaf, and I was subconsciously trying to shut my knees (which made the exam pretty tough).

I figured that it was because he was a male and so I went to switch to a female. Guess what? The same thing happened. I went back to my male gynecologist because I thought he was a better doctor, to tell the truth. Like another poster, I felt that is was much less judgmental about my plan to not use birth control after marriage (we have some long-rage health issues to talk about, which is why it came up; I won’t bore you with those).

I don’t want to be overly graphic and I’ll try not to be, but since we appear to be all girls here, let me go ahead and say that I think there’s something really unique to womanhood that makes us feel incredibly vulnerable and panicked when our knees are apart. It’s a feeling of panic and fear that I just can’t accurately describe to men. Male or female doctor, the speculum and stirrups and jelly is simply not nice and don’t reflect the beauty of our intimate body parts. Especially if you’re young and unfamiliar with this kind of procedure, they are prone to be upsetting.

Here is what I suggest to the original poster: for next time, try to see a female doctor and see if that helps. Mostly, though, have a clothed meeting with the doctor beforehand (ask for it when you make the appointment so that you’re sure there’s enough time; don’t take no for an answer). Explain that you have a very difficult time with the exam and ask if there are ways that you can mitigate your discomfort, like wearing your own clothes, only having one portion uncovered at a time (first breasts while wearing your own skirt or pants, and then the pelvic exam, while wearing your own shirt) and bringing your own clean blanket to cover your lap in. Honestly, the flimsiness of the gown and crinkliness of the paper just add to the sense of being outside your body, being out of control. You might also ask if you can bring music to calm you. You might need to just put one earbud in so that the doctor can ask you important questions during the exam, but it still might help.

A good doctor is one who listens to this, lets you take your time, and perhaps even books longer appointments for you so that these things can move slowly. Ironically, a male might be more understanding than a female. This has been my experience, at least.

I urge you not to fixate too much on the idea of lust. You cannot imagine how dispassionately 99.999% of all medical professionals view the human body; medical school is a long and arduous process that really, truly reshapes how a person views the body. If you prefer your regular gynecologist to be a female, I think that’s fine, but there may be a time when you’re in an emergency situation where males see you nude. I once was in a car crash and had to have my clothes cut off me, and one of the EMTs was a boy from my high school. Luckily, he was an absolutely gracious individual and assured me that he would never speak of this to anyone, and explained how his adrenaline kicks in during a rescue so much that all he can think of is medical care. I wouldn’t want you to be doubly traumatized by both an emergency and the fact that you were cared for by a male, so I urge you to work through this.

Also, just a thought: we tell priests – men – some of our lustful deeds and actions in confession and trust them not to use it as an occasion for sin, because we trust them in a professional and private capacity. It helps me a lot to think of it that way and let go and be helped.

 

[lovemybatman]

Hi,

Firstly, I prefer a female gynecologist or for any health issue pertaining to my gender, because they actually have the parts I have, and this makes me more comfortable that they will understand my concerns and issues. But! that does not make them better than male doctors, not at all. My first ever exam was with a female doctor, and she was absolutely horrible. I would never ever go back to her.

Secondly, this is a health issue you’re going in for. If the doctor lusts after you (straight male or lesbian female), you are doing nothing wrong, it’s his problem. I mean, you could say that you shouldn’t go in for heart surgery because the doctor might see your breasts during prep and get aroused. I know we’re all human, but as I said, if he lusts after you, not your problem.

If you would feel more ok with a female doctor, then by all means seek one out. You can sometimes find reviews of doctors online if you search their names. But the best doctor you can find would really be the best for your health, regardless of gender.

Have you been to a gynecologist before? I got the feeling from your post that you haven’t. I don’t know if you know this but we need to go at least once a year to make sure all the plumbing’s working OK.

Also, if it is your first, let them know when you make the appointment and tell the doctor when you meet him or her, so they will be able to walk you through the process and try and help you relax more.

Hope this helps!

 

[57thDimension]

I always found it interesting that people think it’s silly for men to be concerned about their wives seeing male doctors (especially in the case of gynecological exams) when sexual assault is a very real and distinct possibility [1]. What some people may not know is that clinics are moving towards having chaperones for those kinds of exams, and that a substantial percentage of women (46% in Australia, for example) want chaperones for those kinds of exams. So, I suppose it’s possible to mock men for being concerned about their wives well-being (“it’s cool not to care”?), or women for being concerned for their well-being (and modesty), but it is at odds with recommended practice [2-4].

+Sebastian

---

[1] Bignell, C. J. “Chaperones for genital examination.” BMJ: British Medical Journal 319.7203 (1999): 137.

[2] Teague, Richard, et al. “The differing views of male and female patients toward chaperones for genital examinations in a sexual health setting.” Sexually transmitted diseases 34.12 (2007): 1004-1007.

[3] Croft, Michael. “Chaperones for genital examination: Chaperones should always be present.” BMJ: British Medical Journal 319.7219 (1999): 1266.

[4] Price, David H., C. Shawn Tracy, and Ross EG Upshur. “Chaperone use during intimate examinations in primary care: postal survey of family physicians.” BMC family practice 6.1 (2005): 52.

 

[Iheartcoffee]

The best OBGYN that I have ever seen is male. He is very professional and doesn’t make it weird at all. I used to see a female OBGYN that made an inappropriate joke and made me uncomfortable. I feel it is really about finding a doctor you trust and can be open with, whether the person is male or female. In the medical profession it is very possible to develop a mindset of the patient being very non-sexual because they are really one of many exams, diagnoses, etc. that a medical professional must get through during the work day.

Also, remember that the males may be devoted sons, husbands, or fathers who treat patients as they would want their mother, wife, or daughter treated.