Random Girl Gave Me Her Phone Number

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ARH521 said:
First of all,thank you to all who have responded:)

Here’s an update:

I did, in fact, text her tuesday afternoon and talked to her for a little bit, but she eventually stopped responding which was odd. I found her Facebook profile Tuesday night and friend requested her. As of right now there has been no response to the friend request, nor has there been any other response via text message. Also, on her Facebook profile, I am able to look at a select few of her pictures and there are pictures with what appears to be a boyfriend.

The mystery/drama continues…

Now I’m SUPER confused
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Ah, well…sounds like she’s got some issues for whatever reason.

But good move–you did the right thing. Speaking as someone who’s been around the block a few times–in the long run, it’s important to live true to your values without regrets about missed opportunities. Years later you may look back at this and laugh–much better than looking back at your own inaction and wondering “what if…”.
 
I say forget her and don´t hold your breath in waiting to see if she answers your texts or accepts your friend request. If she was woman enough to give you her number she should be woman enough to answer your texts and not play games.

There was only one time that I gave a man my number and it wasn´t a romantic gesture, it was just that I enjoyed the conversation we had and wanted to continue it as friends. Simple as that.

Perhaps it is as another poster said and she wants to have a backup guy because her present relationship is not too great and if that´s the case then I say RUN now and DON´T settle for second best.

God bless
 
OK you maybe disappointed right now ,but everything is going to be ok …smile and move on …it her lose not yours … :console:

Just chalk this down to another lesson .another experience in life …
 
chevalier said:
Oh boy, as the holder of a criminal law degree and thus an expert on human nature, I am happy to run to your aid.

Confused people do not behave rationally and so they confuse others.

Also, people with a knack for special effects, such as very picturesque overtures, smashing entries etc. are prone to flash in the pan. I can see this in a mirror actually.

Real manipulators will consciously use confusion for their own goals. They will make you confused and uncertain so that you can’t keep your wits and put up a competent opposition to whatevre plans they have. Both male and female cons do this, as do male and female drama queens, although less consciously. I am not saying the girl from your story is doing just that but it is one of the more efficient strategies of those who actually want to manipulate others.

There’s always the possibility, however, that for some good reason she simply did not have the time to answer. I would take a day or two, compose a short and non-obsessive message asking her to clarify her intentions before you conclude that she has lost interest in maintaining the acquaintance. Three days after that message you can move on unless she was caught in an avalanche without phone or Internet connection.

You will yet notice that women sometimes lose interest in you the moment you return that interest. This is a sick pattern but definitely not rare. For the record, I do not claim that men are any better.
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I did ask her why she gave me her number and she said that she thought I was “cute” and wanted to talk to me.

We talked a little longer and then she stopped responding again…which irks me

The issue of whether she was available to be talking to “cute” guys didn’t come up.

Would it be weird to ask her point blank why she stops texting me and if she has a boyfriend?
 
ARH521 said:
Would it be weird to ask her point blank why she stops texting me and if she has a boyfriend?
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Not really. From how this young lady has been behaving, I think that you deserve an honest answer from her.
 
ARH521 said:
I did ask her why she gave me her number and she said that she thought I was “cute” and wanted to talk to me.

We talked a little longer and then she stopped responding again…which irks me

The issue of whether she was available to be talking to “cute” guys didn’t come up.

Would it be weird to ask her point blank why she stops texting me and if she has a boyfriend?
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As tough as this may sound, you may likely never get your answers. You must conquer your curiosity in order to avoid being wrecked by women. You must basically learn to live without the answers and I promise at that point things do become easier. You’re no longer held hostage of her storyline (meaning you are not compelled to wait for the subsequent pages of the story she writes, you can live on your own without a conclusion (a conclusion from her, to be clear)).

People who stop responding like that have issues. Those issues may come down to work or tiredness or they may be the result of learning about a red flag or whatever. In my experience, “whatever” is the likeliest answer. This is where conquering your curiosity comes important. You need to get over wanting to know what exactly (or approximately) kind of “whatever” this is.

Asking point blank works sometimes and is a good strategy if you use it with reason but it has the potential to create mess. As Sun Tzu wrote, if you pin the enemy to the wall without leaving him a way of escape, there’s gonna be mess because he will be fighting for life. 😉 Also, don’t ask point blank about suspicions. You’re likely to be wrong and even if she did some other wrong or strange thing, such an objectively false accusation could make her feel wronged, hurt, alienate her etc. Always suspend judgement until you have real proof; you have no idea what kind of “solid” cases blow up in the air when a new witness steps up or some new evidence is found. And in fact, sometimes people actually are completely innocent or just victims of circumstances. Better to stay your hand before you do something drastic, such as verifying your hypotheses with them. You can simply ask her to explain her behaviour but I’d do that face to face, not on the phone, as phone distorts voice, you don’t see face expressions etc., so more gaps are created than covered in such situations.

Sounds grim, I know, but lighten up. It’s not actually as bad as it sounds. You just had a girl give you her number and then vanish before anything remotely serious worked out. No real damage was done. You probably didn’t even take an ego blow, it’s just the curiosity. Deal with the curiosity and it’ll get better. 😉 Also, if the girl is some poor confused creature, you might actually find you have sympathy for her. At any rate wish her well, life’s too short for holding grudges and God wants us to forgive and be generous about it (so that He could treat us the same way and each of us has a long account).
 
OP, the behavior of the young lady is IMHO 100% consistent with “standard operating procedure” for someone her age. People at that age, these days, can be a bit, uh…flighty? fickle? Etc.

IMHO I see no reason why she couldn’t talk to you, text, etc., even if she did have a BF. They’re not married, nor even engaged. So she texted you. She’s allowed.

However, I also know that some people don’t like the concept of “cutting in on someone else.” Therefore, I see no reason why you can’t ask her “are you seeing anyone?” point blank.

Note also there is a difference between i) seeing a woman casually who may herself be seeing other guys casually (which is fine) vs. ii) allowing yourself to become a woman’s (or a guy’s. if you are a woman) “back up plan” (which is NOT fine).
 
Thanks for the responses everyone,

Unfortunately, we have been discussing something odder than any of us knew. I have been informed by a mutual friend that she was supposedly making a joke…which makes sense because this whole issue has been absolutely hilarious, if you think about it (<<<Sarcasm).

Never texting her again.
 
ARH521 said:
Thanks for the responses everyone,

Unfortunately, we have been discussing something odder than any of us knew. I have been informed by a mutual friend that she was supposedly making a joke…which makes sense because this whole issue has been absolutely hilarious, if you think about it (<<<Sarcasm).

Never texting her again.
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Her loss, mate.
 
Stupid joke. And one that makes me wonder how much growing up she still has to do. Don’t wanna be unnecessarily harsh on her but it does look airheaded.
 
ARH521 said:
Thanks for the responses everyone,

Unfortunately, we have been discussing something odder than any of us knew. I have been informed by a mutual friend that she was supposedly making a joke…which makes sense because this whole issue has been absolutely hilarious, if you think about it (<<<Sarcasm).

Never texting her again.
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That’s just dumb! I apologize on behalf of my specie 🙂
 
ARH521 said:
Thanks for the responses everyone,

Unfortunately, we have been discussing something odder than any of us knew. I have been informed by a mutual friend that she was supposedly making a joke…which makes sense because this whole issue has been absolutely hilarious, if you think about it (<<<Sarcasm).

Never texting her again.
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Supposedly? Are you really sure that it was a joke (I would ask her to make sure.)? But if it was a joke, it was rather a cruel one! With my unsaintly ego, I doubt that I would have handled it as gracefully as you have!
 
Young_Thinker said:
Supposedly? Are you really sure that it was a joke (I would ask her to make sure.)? But if it was a joke, it was rather a cruel one! With my unsaintly ego, I doubt that I would have handled it as gracefully as you have!
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Yeah, convince him to sue. We’ll pick an all male jury and handle it from there! 😃
 
ARH521 said:
So I was at a weekend retreat for Catholic youth…Right before the retreat ended this girl, who I hadn’t talked to all weekend, gave me her phone number and requested that I text her.

If this had happened anywhere else, I would have thrown the piece of paper away. However, it happened at a Catholic retreat. Part of me says since it happened at a Catholic retreat, I should at least get to know her (I wouldn’t actually start dating her until I had gotten to know her better). Just because she was at a Catholic retreat doesn’t mean she was there willingly, but according to her name tag, she had been there before. It’s not the type of retreat you go to again if you don’t like it.

I discussed this with two female friends. One said to ignore it; the other said that it would be “polite” to respond.

Thoughts?
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I’d be uncomforfortable being given a phone number from someone I don’t know very well, I think I would toss it out.
 
Odd. I can see that sort of behavior from a “secular” girl, but one who actively attends retreats…puzzling.

There is nothing more beguiling than a woman’s mind.
 
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