Regret becoming a Catholic?

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Occasionally. I know I’m on the right track and it’s probably just growing pains. I miss the certainty of OSAS.
 
Because we are human and it’s notoriously not a cake walk at times. Puts you at odds with those you love and sometimes with the society you live in especially as an adult convert and it certain societies. When your life has required radical changes you can sometimes wish God asks for less. But then you realise he does ask for very little from us and it is always worth it.
 
Persecution in the social and economic sense, of course. I’m not in physical danger.

But yeah, when you live a Catholic life…you do lose good friends because they have a set of assumptions about your faith and they can’t look past it. Dating as a Catholic also means you can’t just happily date a random guy at the store because chances are, he’s against religion (young + in a minority religion isn’t a good mix). You’re constantly branded as a bigot because you’re conservative (at least in social values), and job wise it can be tough. I’m in psychology, and there’s a fear amongst us that we would be compelled to go along with certain ideologies. People I know in medicine are also struggling with issues regarding birth control, sex changes and abortion.

I’m also pretty different from all of my Catholic friends in terms of interests, sense of humour and personality, so finding a community is pretty much a failure (on my part, I’m sure). My closest friends who has treated me the best are all secular, and are against religion due to their past experiences.

As a woman particularly, while I accept Church teachings, the idea of not using birth control, or artificial ways to get children (eg ivf), hysterectomies, Church’s teachings on marriage and a woman’s place etc are pretty tough to follow and justify at times, and it’s easy to feel less and less after a while.

As a friend, it’s difficult to accept teachings on homosexuality because i know what a huge cross that must be for my friends.

In short, life as a Catholic is counter cultural and hence isolating. Counter cultural as our values greatly differs from our culture now.

It’s tiring. Right now, there’s someone asking if it’s wrong to buy things on Sunday. And there are people saying that it is!
 
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I am sorry for everybody who says they are experiencing some lack of fellowship and support since converting. However, it’s hard for me to understand why one would need such fellowship and support to continue practicing. I’ll admit I’m sort of a hermit at heart, but I’ve been practicing my faith more or less by myself for a long time now.

At what point does one take off the “training wheels” and ride the faith bike solo with no one holding up the back end? We cannot rely on others in this life because even if people are around with the best of intentions, circumstances can separate us. We might find ourselves far away from our support network; our encouraging loved ones might die. The Catholic faith is about turning to God whether you have “fellows” around you or whether you are alone. It’s not about happy group activities time all the time. I realize that statement is likely to be pretty unpopular because some people are looking for a church to fulfill their social needs, as we’ve discussed many times on these threads, so YMMV, I’ve said how I feel.
 
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From my limited experience, I would say it’s a whole different ball game going into the church as an adult than being born into it. Anyone cradle can support but can never fully understand how much of a sea change it is. Realising it’s no longer enough to just ‘be a Christian’ is really really hard. You really need to at least be able to talk to someone you trust about it and if I didn’t go on here I wouldn’t have that, even though I work in a Catholic workplace. I don’t really think we are meant to ride the bike solo. And this is me an introvert saying that. For example I have got a lot of information and support here that I wouldn’t have irl , honestly even from my own parish
 
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I think cradle Catholics underestimate the degree to which Protestantism and some other forms of religion incorporate fellowship as an expectation and a norm of every aspect of life. So, if you’ve been used to that for say 30-40 years, you can’t just switch it off because your been Catholic for 1-5 years. It is a major change in one’s life.

I think western cradle Catholics have also lost sight of the fact that Catholics 100-200 years ago also used to be just as communal and as focused on fellowship as Protestants ( and members of some other religions) are today. This is especially true in places where Catholics were far and away the majority of their towns and countries.

It’s not about “training wheels”. Knowing one another deeply and personally, and having a vested interest in one another and is not always superficial and extraneous.
 
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halogirl said:
For example I have got a lot of information and support here that I wouldn’t have irl , honestly even from my own parish
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Absolutely.

I’d go so far as to say that I wouldn’t even be Catholic right now if it wasn’t for the little bit of community found on CAF.

I had talked myself out of converting to Catholicism numerous times before I finally came here, asked questions, and actually got to interact with other Catholics on a limited basis. I quite literally didn’t know ANY practicing Catholics. None.
 
I know lots of Catholics but from what they say in public I see that many of them cherry pick teachings. I’m not perfect but really if I want to try and get as close to the mark as possible I need to be able to have honest conversations and make sure I’m on the right track. Priests and CAF have helped here.
 
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Nope! While being a faithful Catholic is much more difficult than I anticipated, I’ve never regretted converting. It’s simply impossible for me to not be Catholic, as that would mean me actively rebelling against things I know to be reality.
 
mrsdizzyd said:
I think cradle Catholics underestimate the degree to which Protestantism and some other forms of religion incorporate fellowship as an expectation and a norm of every aspect of life.
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Most of the Protestants I’ve known, which include my husband, my dad (converted) and my grandmother (who was elderly when I knew her) as well as several of my in-laws, didn’t have their Protestantism ingrained into their daily life like that. They went to church sporadically or not at all, and they didn’t have friendships or family relationships revolving around a shared Protestant experience. I couldn’t even figure out why my husband bothered to continue identifying as Protestant given that he had just about nothing to do with his church, did not join congregations, attend any Protestant services except funerals and once or twice when his dad wanted him to go to church on a family visit, or even crack open a Bible in the 30+ years I knew him.

I do know some other Protestants, including a couple more distant family members, who are much more involved with their churches, but I don’t meet a lot of such people or spend time around them.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
They went to church sporadically or not at all, and they didn’t have friendships or family relationships revolving around a shared Protestant experience. I couldn’t even figure out why my husband bothered to continue identifying as Protestant given that he had just about nothing to do with his church, did not join congregations, attend any Protestant services except funerals and once or twice when his dad wanted him to go to church on a family visit, or even crack open a Bible in the 30+ years I knew him.
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And, I suppose that for some who were non-practicing Protestants, the shift might be easier.

I was not such a person.
 
Yes I mean I know many Catholics who are also non practicing who fit that description - mass at Christmas, Easter and funerals and confession once in a blue moon . But even when they are there practicing fully there is a very different emphasis on fellowship than with practicing Protestants. I wouldn’t go back at all but it does take some getting used to, not being invited to things, greeters not stopping you to get to know you as a new face, not knowing how to break into existing groups etc.
 
halogirl said:
Yes I mean I know many Catholics who are also non practicing who fit that description - mass at Christmas, Easter and funerals and confession once in a blue moon .
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Indeed. And, if I judged all Catholics according to the example of the non-practicing Catholics I know, I’d have all sorts of wrong impressions about the faith.
 
I think there’s something about being “behind the scenes” that can be disheartening. Would it be possible for you to work somewhere else? In general my understanding is that the Catholic Church is terrible as an employer! I’ve never regretted converting, but when I find things out that I shouldn’t, then it can be discouraging.
Sometimes it is a particular priest / parish / diocese that is unhealthy, but hopefully not the whole Church!
 
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Rachel_Kelsen said:
Maybe if I hadn’t gone to work there I wouldn’t be considering leaving the Church, but as it stands right now, I feel very discouraged.
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I think an important thing to remember is that in the end, all human beings are fallen and sinful. We do our best, but even on our best days there is still a lot of room for improvement.

I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough time. I can tell you that I was involved behind the scenes in my previous Protestant Church, and BOY the shameful stories I could tell.

What keeps me a person of faith is to bear in mind that we are all struggling toward the same goal of salvation. And, to remember that the sacraments are available to us precisely because God knew we would struggle and he knew would have to turn to him again and again for his grace and mercy.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
At what point does one take off the “training wheels” and ride the faith bike solo with no one holding up the back end? We cannot rely on others in this life because even if people are around with the best of intentions, circumstances can separate us. We might find ourselves far away from our support network; our encouraging loved ones might die. The Catholic faith is about turning to God whether you have “fellows” around you or whether you are alone.
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And of course you’re right. When one’s faith becomes more “internalized” fitting in becomes much much easier. I think what converts are saying here, including myself, is that this did not happen overnight nor did it happen in the course of the RCIA class.
Tis_Bearself said:
Most of the Protestants I’ve known, which include my husband, my dad (converted) and my grandmother (who was elderly when I knew her) as well as several of my in-laws, didn’t have their Protestantism ingrained into their daily life like that. They went to church sporadically or not at all, and they didn’t have friendships or family relationships revolving around a shared Protestant experience.
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However, many converts were heavily involved in another church before converting. Some of them found something terribly wrong during their heavy involvement in another church. It is part of why they converted.
 
I remember seeing many problems at the Protestant churches I used to go to, from internal politics to a pastor being arrested for child pornography. What I found different is the Catholic Church members don’t seem as judgmental as my experience in many Protestant churches. Sure, there are some, but not as much. Most importantly, I found the truth of the Catholic Faith. If someone bothers me, I remember why I’m there. It’s to worship our Lord and to receive the Eucharist. We all have faults, so need to focus on our Lord.
 
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