The lesson that I’m hoping to impart with the story is this: The question you have asked, East02West, is a good one in some ways, but perhaps only part of the story. I have no Coptic blood or cultural ties, but when I came to the church I was given my own kind of test in terms of my commitment to learning and being taught: What do you know about our faith and our history (read: are we starting from square zero or…)? What do you know about Orthodoxy, and from where (read: are we going to have to approach this person as someone who thinks that his RC-ism makes him essentially Orthodox, even though it doesn’t)?, etc. Basically, am I serious or am I slumming? Because I arrived with some basic knowledge (and the handy ability to read Coptic and Arabic at least well enough to be able to give responses), I kind of got to skip the stage that the Lutherans apparently came in at: Wondering about a bunch of preconceptions that aren’t really well-formed from the point of view of the Church I’m interested in. That was the problem with the Lutheran family (to say nothing of the problems of the Coptic reaction, which was understandable but not blameless or recommended). They asked “Why do you guys X, Y, Z” (where X, Y, Z were things that Copts don’t believe or do), and “why don’t you X, Y, Z” (where X, Y, Z were things that Byzantines and/or RCs do and believe that the Lutherans obviously take as normative since they’re the children of the RCs). Not a great way to go about it.
So, without having tried to fit in with the Maronites myself, I would argue that the most important thing is not worrying about fitting in culturally, but approaching as befits someone who knows they’re stepping into a community with a theology, praxis, “phronema”, etc. that is fundamentally different than their own, and is to be respected and explored and learned and committed to on its own merits, if you are to integrate yourself into the worship of the community. You probably have less far to go than the Lutherans in my story would have had (as you have read some Syriac Fathers and the like), but there is of course no substitute for diving head first into liturgies, prayer, fasting, etc. together with the community, in consultation with that the community. That is enough to take on without worrying about cultural trappings. I still don’t fit in with the Coptic culture, and I’m glad. I am, after all, not Egyptian, and I don’t feel like trying to be anything I’m not. In fact, in recognizing that this part of being Coptic Orthodox (the “Coptic” part) is not an essential part for me (with the exception of as it relates to my part in the liturgy as a layperson, as I believe it is essential that I defend the integrity of the liturgy, same as anyone) is very helpful in finding my proper place in the church community. When people need a particular English word that they can’t think of, they come to me. When they want to know what the Latins do in comparison to their practices, they come to me. When they want to know why it’s wrong to use racial slurs towards black people in the middle of Costco or anywhere else (I swear, this came up two weeks ago), they come to me. When I want to know about naming conventions for saints in the church, or this or that finer point of Egyptian Arabic grammar or pronunciation, I go to them. It’s a very nice, sort of symbiotic relationship. I’m not just “the white guy” anymore (or so it would seem, as they absentmindedly greet me and dismiss me in Arabic since about three months ago) – I’m the white guy who can actually explain things about the wider Anglo and Hispanic cultures they’ve suddenly found themselves in. Who knows? Maybe one day we’ll have the liturgy in Spanish as they do in Mexico and Bolivia, or even in Navajo (I can’t help with that, though…hahaha).
To join an “ethnic” church from a particular place and be shocked or upset that it carries the cultural imprint of that particular place is foolishness, but so is caving into pressure to give up or suppress whatever it is you already are in a misguided attempt to fit in. There is neither Jew nor Greek, remember? So if I have to insist that, no, the way that I eat or dress is not wrong, but indicative of a different (non-Egyptian) cultural background, so I’m going to keep doing it…well, that’s a small bit of discomfort for a lot of benefit in being immersed in the true faith with people who, after all, want to see their church grow throughout the world. I don’t doubt that the vast majority of Maronites (or Chaldeans, or Melkites, or…) would agree with that. After all, they adjusted to America, Mexico, Brazil, Australia, and all these other places that aren’t Lebanon or Syria quite well, and yet remain Maronites and proud of that fact.
tl;dr version: Go for it! You’ll fit in in all the ways that matter if you are serious about this desire to actually become a Christian worshiper in a Syriac church, beyond reading books in your private devotion.