Rules for Children

[ccathcart]

Hi There! This is my first post. A little background about my questions first:

My daughter was baptized in 2003, in a Lutheran church. 6 months later we converted to the catholic faith. Since then we have been catholic. I myself went through RCIA back in 2005 and my wife has been catholic since birth. With that said, my daughter who was baptized Lutheran in 2003 has been attending Catholic school since Kindergarten and this year is in 2nd grade and with be partaking in communion. Now the questions that I have is what does the church say is the rule for my daughter to partake in communion? When we joined this church a while back we had asked this question and the priest stated that nothing “extra” needed to occur and she would end up going through what every other catholic kid would need to. However, a few weeks back we were told by the church that my daughter would have to attend special masses (kind of like a junior RCIA program). She would need a sponsor, etc, etc. Honestly I am not sure I can commit to having to show up an hour before service with my wife working on weekends and having another child to care for.

Can someone clarify if what they are asking of us is really a rule of the church?

Thanks.

Chris

 

[1ke]

You need to make an appointment with your priest.

When a parent or parents convert to the Church they can bring their children who are under the age of reason into full communion with the Church by their own profession of faith and statement that they desire to do so.

Once the child is over the age of reason (about 7 or 8 depending on the child, approximately the time of first confession/first holy communion) the child would have to make the profession of faith and manifest the desire to be Catholic.

For those who have been uncatechized, yes there is an RCIA adapted for children. But your child has been brought up Catholic and is already attending age appropriate religious education classes.

You need to talk to your priest because at the time of your conversion you child should have also been brought into the Church. Perhaps he didn’t do the proper paperwork.

 

[Dysmas1]

You need to make an appointment with your priest.

When a parent or parents convert to the Church they can bring their children who are under the age of reason into full communion with the Church by their own profession of faith and statement that they desire to do so.

Once the child is over the age of reason (about 7 or 8 depending on the child, approximately the time of first confession/first holy communion) the child would have to make the profession of faith and manifest the desire to be Catholic.

For those who have been uncatechized, yes there is an RCIA adapted for children. But your child has been brought up Catholic and is already attending age appropriate religious education classes.

You need to talk to your priest because at the time of your conversion you child should have also been brought into the Church. Perhaps he didn’t do the proper paperwork.

I agree. A simple appointment with the Pastor should clear up any confusion. Things should be just fine.

 

[ccathcart]

Thank you all! I will call there tomorrow to set something up. I just wanted to be sure I wasn’t out of line with my concern.

Thanks again.

 

[HAnne]

You aren’t out of line at all!

I have a son who is your daughter’s age. Although we are just now entering the Catholic Church, they don’t have a separate children’s RCIA for him here so he will be in with the other kids and just doing a bit more “at home work” to catch up.

FWIW, according to our diocese, ALL children in sacramental prep need a sponsor other than a parent. There are many, many reasons for the requirement but it’s so much more than that.

Our son has LOVED having a sponsor. It gives him someone to ask questions to that he thinks are too “silly” or that he might get in trouble with (such as about his first Reconciliation). It gives ME an extra person to bounce ideas around with and work with. I wouldn’t give up our sponsor for all the rice in China…and I’m a fan of rice!!!

 

[ccathcart]

I agree about the sponsor. Problem was is that they are telling me the sponsor has to be there for every special mass an hour before as well!

Thanks again.

 

[HAnne]

I agree about the sponsor. Problem was is that they are telling me the sponsor has to be there for every special mass an hour before as well!

Thanks again.

Same here.

If you have a problem finding a sponsor they can often make recommendations of people within the Church who have been sponsors previously or who are willing and able to step up and sponsor a child. Being the sponsor is a huge responsibility but it also comes with GREAT joy and is considered to be an honor.

You may have less trouble than you think!

 

[joandarc2008]

This actually sounds like it could be presented to your child as something “special.” The Church may be help you find a sponsor if you can’t but most likely someone may be more willing than you realize.

 

[1ke]

I agree about the sponsor. Problem was is that they are telling me the sponsor has to be there for every special mass an hour before as well!

Thanks again.

A sponsor is required for baptism and confirmation. A sponsor is not required if your child is being received into full communion of the Catholic Church below the age of reason. A sponsor is not required for First Holy Communion.

Really, you need to talk to your priest about making sure your child is considered Catholic now while she is below the age of reason.

 

[ccathcart]

I just got off with the RCIA leader and he is still standing firm that she needs to provide this profession of faith and be part of the RCIA masses. He is saying that she was not automatically brought into the Catholic faith even though #1. her mom has always been catholic and #2 I recently became catholic (2005) through the RCIA. He is stating that because she was baptized Lutheran she is not just brought into the catholic faith with us and she needs to make that profession of faith at Easter.

This brought up some questions that I raised such as, how can she not be considered catholic since we have been catholic since she was 6 months old (and my wife since birth)? How can she not be considered catholic since she has been attending your school since Kindergarten?

I honestly felt very uncomfortable that for the past 7 years (even though another priest told me she was catholic at that time) she has not been considered catholic! My entire family (myself, my wife and my other daughter who was baptized catholic is but not my oldest daughter)??

I basically ended the conversation with telling him that I hear what he is saying, but I am not satisfied and would like to speak to the priest. He said he would engage that first and based on that conversation let me know the next steps.

What if the priest takes the same stance? I honestly cannot commit to being at every church service they tell me to, with a sponsor having to commit to that as well. My wife works weekends and I have another child. They also want me at every mass an hour early.

I truly feel that my child is having to fill a quota or is being made an example of. I was raised baptist and recently converted to Catholicism, but its things like this that really rub me the wrong way about the church.

Please help.

 

[joandarc2008]

I just got off with the RCIA leader and he is still standing firm that she needs to provide this profession of faith and be part of the RCIA masses. He is saying that she was not automatically brought into the Catholic faith even though #1. her mom has always been catholic and #2 I recently became catholic (2005) through the RCIA. He is stating that because she was baptized Lutheran she is not just brought into the catholic faith with us and she needs to make that profession of faith at Easter.

This brought up some questions that I raised such as, how can she not be considered catholic since we have been catholic since she was 6 months old (and my wife since birth)? How can she not be considered catholic since she has been attending your school since Kindergarten?

I honestly felt very uncomfortable that for the past 7 years (even though another priest told me she was catholic at that time) she has not been considered catholic! My entire family (myself, my wife and my other daughter who was baptized catholic is but not my oldest daughter)??

I basically ended the conversation with telling him that I hear what he is saying, but I am not satisfied and would like to speak to the priest. He said he would engage that first and based on that conversation let me know the next steps.

What if the priest takes the same stance? I honestly cannot commit to being at every church service they tell me to, with a sponsor having to commit to that as well. My wife works weekends and I have another child. They also want me at every mass an hour early.

I truly feel that my child is having to fill a quota or is being made an example of. I was raised baptist and recently converted to Catholicism, but its things like this that really rub me the wrong way about the church.

Please help.

This is very wrong - I am sorry- I missed the six month old part - Yes for first Communion there are classes - but contact your Archdiocese for more information.

 

[ccathcart]

So are you saying that she should have to go through this?

 

[sugarbreak]

In our parish, she would have to do a profession of faith and then continue with the sacraments as usual. We would definately not make her go through RCIA but we would allow her to if that was your wish.

Why can’t you speak to your Priest about this directly?

 

[joandarc2008]

In our parish, she would have to do a profession of faith and then continue with the sacraments as usual. We would definately not make her go through RCIA but we would allow her to if that was your wish.

Why can’t you speak to your Priest about this directly?

I think the issue is that the child entered the Church at six months of age with the parents when the child was registered - I am bit confused too - I would think they would take care fo this in first Holy Communion class.

 

[1ke]

I just got off with the RCIA leader and he is still standing firm that she needs to provide this profession of faith and be part of the RCIA masses. He is saying that she was not automatically brought into the Catholic faith even though #1. her mom has always been catholic and #2 I recently became catholic (2005) through the RCIA. He is stating that because she was baptized Lutheran she is not just brought into the catholic faith with us and she needs to make that profession of faith at Easter.

Guess what? The RCIA director isn’t the boss of you. The priest is the minister of the Sacraments. Don’t talk to this RCIA person, talk to the priest. Your child is still under the age of reason, there is no need for RCIA.

This brought up some questions that I raised such as, how can she not be considered catholic since we have been catholic since she was 6 months old (and my wife since birth)? How can she not be considered catholic since she has been attending your school since Kindergarten?

Don’t worry about what the RCIA person thinks. It matters first what the priest says and then secondly if for some reason he does not consider the child to be a Catholic, he can easily accept you bringing her into full communion right away.

I honestly felt very uncomfortable that for the past 7 years (even though another priest told me she was catholic at that time) she has not been considered catholic! My entire family (myself, my wife and my other daughter who was baptized catholic is but not my oldest daughter)??

Please don’t get worked up about it. This person may not have all the facts. First, contact the priest who brought you into the Church. Second, talk to your pastor if that is not the same person as the priest who brought you into the Church. Third, remember it is not the RCIA director’s decision. Make an appointment with the priest.

I basically ended the conversation with telling him that I hear what he is saying, but I am not satisfied and would like to speak to the priest. He said he would engage that first and based on that conversation let me know the next steps.

No, no, no. The RCIA person is NOT a middleman between you and the priest. YOU call up the priest and talk to him directly via an appiontment. The RCIA person may not have all the facts, or may be ignorant of the procedure for a child under the age of reason.

What if the priest takes the same stance? I honestly cannot commit to being at every church service they tell me to, with a sponsor having to commit to that as well. My wife works weekends and I have another child. They also want me at every mass an hour early.

Cross that bridge when you come to it. You may be able to resolve this at another parish or via the diocese.

** truly feel that my child is having to fill a quota or is being made an example of. I was raised baptist and recently converted to Catholicism, but its things like this that really rub me the wrong way about the church.

(a) “The Church” isn’t doing anything to you. One person, who may be honestly mistaken or going off of incomplete information, has told you what they believe to be true.

(b) Even if after investigation your child is declared to not have been brought into the Church yet, there isn’t any reason for the child to go to RCIA. They have been raised Catholic since birth and are currently in age appropriate religious education.

(c) Ultimately, listen to and follow the counsel of your priest. All will be well.

 

[joandarc2008]

To be honest I would also want a child in a children’s class - children should not be mixed in with adults - they have no purpose in RCIA and may be exposed to inappropriate conversations surrounding some of the catechesis of the adults.

 

[Phemie]

To be honest I would also want a child in a children’s class - children should not be mixed in with adults - they have no purpose in RCIA and may be exposed to inappropriate conversations surrounding some of the catechesis of the adults.

The terminology can be confusing.
The church considers only two ages when it comes to initiation: Infants (children from birth to the age of reason) and Adults (anyone who has reached the age of reason which is ~7.

Children who are joining the Catholic Church after they have reached the age of reason have go through the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults. That’s the ritual by which they are either baptized or received into full Communion. It doesn’t speak at all of how they are prepared for that.

The preparation for initiation is proper to their age and understanding. They don’t go to the same classes as adults.

 

[joandarc2008]

The terminology can be confusing.
The church considers only two ages when it comes to initiation: Infants (children from birth to the age of reason) and Adults (anyone who has reached the age of reason which is ~7.

Children who are joining the Catholic Church after they have reached the age of reason have go through the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults. That’s the ritual by which they are either baptized or received into full Communion. It doesn’t speak at all of how they are prepared for that.

The preparation for initiation is proper to their age and understanding. They don’t go to the same classes as adults.

Right which is what makes this so confusing - the child came over at six months old??? Below the age of reason - and is now being asked to go through with RCIA - OP - are we missing something.

 

[Phemie]

Right which is what makes this so confusing - the child came over at six months old??? Below the age of reason - and is now being asked to go through with RCIA - OP - are we missing something.

It sounds rather like the person running the RCIA program is missing something – or the priest who received the OP into full communion didn’t complete the paperwork on the daughter.

 

[ccathcart]

That is my point! If my child has been raised in a Catholic home since 6 months old why are they making me feel that she was and has nit been Catholic. It’s like they waited until she was 7 to say, oh by the way your kid isn’t catholic and needs to attend these special masses. I do have to clarify that it is not the adult RCIA but a junior version. Even so I feel as if she should be treated like every other kid in her class. I do t understand that just because she was baptized Lutheran she was not considered to be part of my catholic family at 6 months old.