School bans 9-year-old boy's My Little Pony backpack

[Back2Church]

Abuse? I thought we were talking about teasing. Teasing only leaves a mark if you allow it.

We have gone from teasing to bullying to abuse.

The boys said some mean things to him. That is teasing.

Well, you don’t have the full story.

“They’re taking it a little too far…punching me, pushing me down, calling me horrible names, stuff that really shouldn’t happen,”

theblaze.com/stories/2014/03/15/9-year-old-boy-bullied-over-my-little-pony-lunch-bag-school-reportedly-plays-hardball-but-not-with-who-youre-thinking/
Yeah, he’s being teased. He’s also getting punched and pushed to the ground. Roll your eyes at that.

 

[Dulcinea2721]

Well, you don’t have the full story.

theblaze.com/stories/2014/03/15/9-year-old-boy-bullied-over-my-little-pony-lunch-bag-school-reportedly-plays-hardball-but-not-with-who-youre-thinking/
Yeah, he’s being teased. He’s also getting punched and pushed to the ground. Roll your eyes at that.

I don’t think that anyone knows the full story because only one side has been heard. It is an interesting talking point about bullying.

From the mom of a 9 year old…what is reported is not always what happened. ie. If a kid says “I would rather kill myself than have that stupid lunchbag” could be taken " He is telling me to kill myself"

 

[maryjk]

Well, you don’t have the full story.

Yeah, he’s being teased. He’s also getting punched and pushed to the ground. Roll your eyes at that.

Ah, yes. * The Blaze.* They always have the full and complete story.

Now that really gets an eye roll.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Ah, yes. * The Blaze.* They always have the full and complete story.

Now that really gets an eye roll.

The information about being told to kill himself is in the OP.

 

[Cat]

If I have a child who has a propensity for easy weight gain (genetic, not their fault, just the way they are made). It is my job as a parent to teach that person that she has to manage herself/himself or not and deal with the consequences (health, teasing etc.)

Same goes with this. If this boy wants to take a “girly” lunchbag to school, go for it but please do not be shocked that 9 year old boys who also are not fully developed will tease you about it.

When one of my daughters wanted to go to school with one of her “hootchie-kootchie” outfits on (all mismatched looking hideous IMO). The rules were that it had to comply with the dress code for the school which it did. Then I had a chat with her saying "you know that people may not love this look as much as you do etc. She decided to do it anyways.

She came back from school, “everyone” had laughed at her. She said that she was glad she did it anyways because it was what she wanted to do. Can’t even remember if she did that again or not.

My point is, resilient or not, the parent has to guide the child. If the child to too upset to get out of the car (not showing relience)…the lunchbag has to go.

Why are parents not parenting their own kids and busy trying to change other kids?

I certainly agree with all that you say.

Just because a child inherits a trait doesn’t mean that the child is doomed to be that way. Parents can and should work with their child(ren) to help them learn wise and productive behaviors.

But parents also need to be aware that some children will be more easily-trainable than others, often due to what’s in their gene pool.

I tried very hard to make sure that my daughters wore clothing and accessories that “fit in” with all the other girls in their schools. They didn’t wear suggestive clothing (neither did most of the other girls), or anything with violent messages, but they were in style and up to date with the trends.

When Little Ponies were in style, my girls got them . Same for stickers, slap bracelets, shaped rubber bands, etc. Most of these items didn’t cost that much, and it helped them to fit in with their peers. Our faith or beliefs were not compromised by purchasing a Furbie (back when those hideous things were popular).

And I trained my daughters to behave correctly around others. I made it clear to them that acting like a geeky brain, or acting stuck up, or telling tales, or tattling, or being a “teachers’ pet” were sure-fire ways to drive other children AWAY from them.

So yes, parents play the major role in bully-proofing a child. As I said in my note, no WAY would any son of mine have ever carried a girl’s backback. I agree with you that we shouldn’t be trying to change other children.

 

[maryjk]

The information about being told to kill himself is in the OP.

I remember someone being told that in school.

The guys response was, “After you.”

Amazingly enough, it ended there.

Again, these are just words. You are not going to stop children, or adults, from using words. They are going to use them, and some of them are going to use them in bad ways. It is just going to happen. We are a fallen people.

So instead of putting a target on the back of your child, like allowing your 9 year old boy to carry a My Little Pony bag, or teaching your child to be a victim; we should teach our children to ignore them, to remove the target if possible and to realize that not everyone is going to like you.

I remember when I was in 1st grade. Yep, a six year old. There was this 5th grade boy that kept picking on my sister and me. She is a year older than I am. Every day at the bus stop, he would push me down. Now, this was back in the when Mom and Dad didn’t stand with their children waiting for the bus. We were alone with this bully.

My Dad told us to that there were two of us. Couldn’t we handle it? Well, we handled it. And the kid never bothered us again.

Now, I know that in this litigious society, we could never do what we did. My parents would have ended up working forever just to pay off the kid. But there are other things to do with bullies, that you can still do today. But it seems the order of the day is to run to the press.

 

[SuzanneD]

I don’t see it as blaming the victim. It is a recognition that if a backpack you are carrying is the cause of the problem, the solution isn’t to try to change the kids doing the bullying, it is to quit carrying the backpack. Unless, of course, you are trying to make a point and don’t worry about your son being bullied.

That being said, yes, we need to try to stop the bullies. I have no love of bullies. I was bullied, but I was bullied because I was smaller than the bullies. I wish I could have stopped everything simply by not carrying a certain backpack.
Peace

Tim

I think that is the point bullies don’t need a reason to pick on someone and once they have a victim any excuse will do. My bullying stopped when we moved to another city,. Lucky break for me.

 

[josie_L]

I remember someone being told that in school.

The guys response was, “After you.”

Amazingly enough, it ended there.

Again, these are just words. You are not going to stop children, or adults, from using words. They are going to use them, and some of them are going to use them in bad ways. It is just going to happen. We are a fallen people.

So instead of putting a target on the back of your child, like allowing your 9 year old boy to carry a My Little Pony bag, or teaching your child to be a victim; we should teach our children to ignore them, to remove the target if possible and to realize that not everyone is going to like you.

I remember when I was in 1st grade. Yep, a six year old. There was this 5th grade boy that kept picking on my sister and me. She is a year older than I am. Every day at the bus stop, he would push me down. Now, this was back in the when Mom and Dad didn’t stand with their children waiting for the bus. We were alone with this bully.

My Dad told us to that there were two of us. Couldn’t we handle it? Well, we handled it. And the kid never bothered us again.

Now, I know that in this litigious society, we could never do what we did. My parents would have ended up working forever just to pay off the kid. But there are other things to do with bullies, that you can still do today. But it seems the order of the day is to run to the press.

For the most part I agree with this, and I’ve worked with kids for many, many years.

 

[mikekle]

I can’t for the life of me understand why any mother would buy her son such a backpack and actually encourage the kid to be a “brony!” The poor kid; obviously at 9 years old he doesn’t know any better. I was made fun of in grammar school once or twice for wearing a shirt from Mexico with a protruding gecko coming out of the pocket. The solution? I quit wearing it! Sadly common sense no longer prevails.

This is the first Ive heard of this and have to agree…this is pretty dumb, why would a 9 yr old boy even want a little pony backpack? Of course he is going to be bullied…DUH?

So, even the schools counselors opinion was not enough for mom, she seems to want him using this backpack?

Seems to me, like maybe mom is planning and dotting all her 'i’s and crossing all her 't’s for her upcoming civil suit against the school…Im sure she will have a dollar amount she will settle at too!! LOL

 

[Darryl1958]

What is “traditional”?

Do you mean American culture of the 50’s style of “Traditional”?

Not really. The fifties are over now.
Traditional just means recognizing that there are a norms and expectations in any society and choosig to abide by those norms and expectations, rather than being provocative to further some political agenda, and exposing your boy to a world of hurt in the process.

The best way to foster the gentleness and softness of a boy that is drawn to my little pony imagery in the first place is not to expose him to ridicule and taunting on account of his gentle nature, and have the softness drummed out of him through taunts and jeers. The way to foster it is to give him an identity through uniform appearance with all the other little boys, rather than painting a target on his back. Little boys can accept a lot of individual difference in demeanor of other boys in their group, as long as the message is coming through loud and clear that this boy is one of them.

 

[Phemie]

It’s interesting reading this in light of the happenings in Canada in recent years.

Seven years ago a student in a rural high school in Nova Scotia wore a pink shirt on the first day of school. He was bullied mercilessly because boys don’t wear pink don’t you know?

Did the school ban him from wearing a pink shirt to solve the problem? No. This is how the situation went down.

“In 2007 David Shepherd, Travis Price and their teenage friends organized a high-school protest to wear pink in sympathy with a Grade 9 boy who was being bullied [for wearing a pink shirt]…[They] took a stand against bullying when they protested against the harassment of a new Grade 9 student by distributing pink T-shirts to all the boys in their school. ‘I learned that two people can come up with an idea, run with it, and it can do wonders,’ says Mr. Price, 17, who organized the pink protest. ‘Finally, someone stood up for a weaker kid.’ So Mr. Shepherd and some other headed off to a discount store and bought 50 pink tank tops.
They sent out message to schoolmates that night, and the next morning they hauled the shirts to school in a plastic bag. As they stood in the foyer handing out the shirts, the bullied boy walked in. His face spoke volumes. ‘It looked like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders,’ Mr. Price recalled. The bullies were never heard from again.”

Hmm, wouldn’t it be ironic if this was one of the schools that participates in the annual international Pink Shirt Day.

 

[JennyAnne]

My solution would be to get him a different backpack. But not because it’s “too girly” or “not a boy’s backpack”. He could just keep the pony backpack at home.
If he likes My Little Pony, what’s so wrong about that? The whole “boy’s toys” and “girl’s toys” is just plain stupid.

 

[HappyCatholic01]

Indeed, I pray for Gregory.

I am legally blind and my eyes have an irregular appearance. I was teased mercilessly in middle school.

It took me until early adulthood, with my education and general maturity, to be able to resolve the psychological damage done.

Another important point is that bullies create bullies.

The problem a lot of us have is with the school’s defense of the boy. I find the mother’s apparent use of her son as a prop to be disgusting, but I also find the school’s message to be inconsistent.

With all of the anti-bullying campaigns directed towards gay students (when did this happen? in the eighties and nineties, not a single student identified as being gay…), there is no way any school would tell a homosexual student to simply stop acting so gay and the problem will go away.

They likely took the easy way out with this kid because they apparently don’t care.

 

[Back2Church]

Ah, yes. * The Blaze.* They always have the full and complete story.

Now that really gets an eye roll.

Keep them rolling, or else you might learn more about this story.

If you click the link, you’ll see a video embedded in the article in which you can see and hear the very same words come from the boy himself. The story is not just about teasing, it’s about physical violence as well. That should be enough to meet your definition of bullying, yes? Or does he need visible cuts and bruises or worse before he can claim he was bullied?

As a side note, I only gave the link to the Blaze because someone else had posted earlier in this thread, so I clicked it, read the article, and watched the video (which is from the local news station). The article linked in the OP did not have the video, so by passing up the Blaze article because you have an aversion to them, you missed out on information that was rather detrimental to your argument that the boy wasn’t actually bullied. I, personally, had never read the Blaze, so I have no idea if they have some ill reputation or not, but it was there where I found the video of the boy saying he was punched and pushed to the ground. I’m merely pointing out that your complaint about the Blaze never having the full story is rather ironic, because if you had looked at it, you would have had more of the story.

 

[JennyAnne]

I know I already posted in this thread recently, but I was rushed and had more to say…

There is no excuse for the way this boy was treated. His backpack not fitting gender norms is not a free pass to bully him. The school decided to take the easy way out, and that’s not right at all.
I recently read a story about an 11 year old (I think?) boy who liked My Little Pony. He was constantly bullied and tormented by his classmates. Finally he couldn’t take it anymore. He tried to kill himself! Luckily his parents found him in time before he was dead. He had hung himself in his bedroom, and when his parents found him he was almost dead from lack of oxygen. He was taken to the hospital and is now in a coma. The doctors are unsure if he will ever recover.

 

[Regular_Atheist]

I had a friend who got bullied because the design on his bag looked vaguely like a penis. It was only some kind of elongated semi-circle with a line going down the centre, but apparently it was hilarious.

Anyway, that’s my amusing anecdote for the day.

 

[josie_L]

I know I already posted in this thread recently, but I was rushed and had more to say…

There is no excuse for the way this boy was treated. His backpack not fitting gender norms is not a free pass to bully him. The school decided to take the easy way out, and that’s not right at all.
I recently read a story about an 11 year old (I think?) boy who liked My Little Pony. He was constantly bullied and tormented by his classmates. Finally he couldn’t take it anymore. He tried to kill himself! Luckily his parents found him in time before he was dead. He had hung himself in his bedroom, and when his parents found him he was almost dead from lack of oxygen. He was taken to the hospital and is now in a coma. The doctors are unsure if he will ever recover.

I posted this story a few pages back. I believe this is why the school banned the “My Little Pony” backpack, i.e., I think due to these circumstances this was the most expedient way to deal with the problem.

 

[Midwest88]

Boy uses backpack intended for girls. He gets made fun of. It’s news.

Where are the stories of people being made fun for their weight, hair color, height, lack of or weird fashion, being poor etc.? The media tends to favor stories dealing with gender issues … no surprise.

 

[Midwest88]

Teasing is different from bullying and that is different from abuse. If you had ever been abused, you would know the difference.

This. To me that’s the hierarchy. I was teased on a several occasions, but for some reason it really never fazed me. There were two kids in my grade school that were teased almost everyday. They’re okay - well into their early twenties. I’m not saying that I approve of teasing, but it seems those two kids I went to school with were stronger mentally than today’s young adults.

 

[Deus_tecum]

The mom should be put in a psych ward for evaluation and the child given to foster parents (a mom AND a dad).