School bans 9-year-old boy's My Little Pony backpack

[Back2Church]

This latest statement of yours seems somewhat off-topic to the point we were discussing, which was whether it was likely that the boy himself preferred the backpack.

It is a relevant statement, you simply missed the point.

I asked:

Can you imagine a nine year old kid that would rather stick with his backpack choice to the point of being so scared of going to school that he didn’t even want to get out of the car, rather than ask his parents for a new one?

To which you replied:

Yes, quite easily. That backpack could be the one thing that gives him happiness in his otherwise miserable life. Certainly his life while at school was miserable.

Your “Yes, quite easily” statement points to a situation that is far more grave than a simple case of being bullied over a backpack, but entails a child who has no joy in anything in life other than a single material object. That’s a much larger problem. Such a “quite easily” imagined scenario would be so rare it’s actually quite difficult to imagine it being plausible.

What I’m saying is that your objection to my point does not hold.

Suicide can be about escaping suffering and hopelessness, and also about being true to oneself. The two are not contradictory.

So if suicide can be about being true to oneself, does that mean such a person had lived his or her entire life not being true to his or her self? I’m sorry, but that just doesn’t make sense. Suicide is not a personality trait. People who don’t fit in can still live in the world. They don’t have to kill themselves to be true to themselves. It’s the suffering and hopelessness of never being able to fit in or be accepted that drives them to suicide. Not because they feel the only way they can be true to themselves is to kill themselves.

 

[JimG]

Because its a good show that actually teaches kids values. Putting a gender label on toys and cartoons is so stupid. Let the child play with what he wants.

I haven’t seen the show; I certainly believe you. But it’s the manufacturer and their website that calls it a girl toy. Given that fact, a mom might want to think twice about sending her son to school with a self described girl toy. It obviously made things more difficult for him.

 

[St_Francis]

I agree that bullies are bullies because they will continue to look for their infinite number of targets.

The problem is research is showing that trying to sensitize the bullies is not effective. Therefore, they are trying to help victimized kids get out of the line of fire.

I have to say, the gentleman who ran the seminar is knee-deep in trying to help problem kids in the school and in the detention facilities as well.

Let’s face it, sometimes we have to teach our kids to be street smart and not just right.

Wrt the idea of studying the “old-fashioned” way of dealing with this, I was speaking tongue-in-cheek since I knew that wouldn’t happen, but there is info out there…

Here’s an article about young males without good role models.

What you said reminds me also of this: a woman wrote a book about the differences between the way Americans and the French bring up their children. It is briefly described here. Basically, the French, to American eyes, ignore their children to some extent, expect children’s affairs to take second place to adult matters, etc.*

The reason I thought of this latter idea is that perhaps we take put the cart before the horse when we create programs to help teens who seem to be getting into trouble. Maybe instead we should reconfigure the programs so less focus is on the “problem child”?

In addition, I read many years ago, possibly before the internet (!), of a study comparing domestic violence among a group of immigrants and the same in the places the immigrants had come from.

They found there was a lot more in the US because in the towns where they’d emigrated from, other men would do something about the situation.

 

[sweetcharity]

You are correct, and banning this child from using his back-back is an ignorant idea. Yes I said ignorant. It places blame and responsibility on potential victims of bullying instead of placing it on bullies. .

But why isn’t it the responsibility of the kid to remove the problem? Get rid of the backpack. Get rid of the problem. Haven’t you heard about picking your battles? He’s not making a political or religious stances. It’s just a backpack. He.IS.A.BOY. He is inviting trouble.

Bullies should be expelled from school, social services sent to their homes to see what is wrong there and be held accountable for their actions. The victims of this behavior need to be reassured they did nothing wrong and allowed to go on in peace

I saw sooooo many people here say they were bullied while in school. Were you bullied, or were you teased? There is a big difference. This kid is being teased because he is carrying a backpack designed for little girls. Stop carrying the girls backpack and the problem is solved. Why is that so hard?

 

[ServusHumilis]

My fiance is a my little pony fan. Thats how we met. There is nothing wrong with it.
My brother played with dolls growing up. He is now an Air Force captain and happily married.
Parents are too afraid of their sons turing out homo if they play eith a girl toy. Its a barbaric concept.
And as for that picture, poor example. You have weirdo fans of any series. That is not a person a true brony would even associate with.

I’m proud to say nor am I a person any “true brony” would assosiate with! There’s plenty wrong with it as well as anything else where there’s even a slight chance of producing what you see in that picture. There are far better series out there that promote good values such as The Rifleman (yes it’s old but who cares? it would never produce a guy in pink with bunny ears). Any parent that would normalize such a thing as MLP in their son’s mind would really be doing them a huge injustice.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

But why isn’t it the responsibility of the kid to remove the problem? Get rid of the backpack. Get rid of the problem. Haven’t you heard about picking your battles? He’s not making a political or religious stances. It’s just a backpack. He.IS.A.BOY. He is inviting trouble.

I saw sooooo many people here say they were bullied while in school. Were you bullied, or were you teased? There is a big difference. This kid is being teased because he is carrying a backpack designed for little girls. Stop carrying the girls backpack and the problem is solved. Why is that so hard?

When I was young I was bullied because my mom wore sandals and socks in the winter. Odd combo, but to my mom getting us children clothes and shoes came before her needs.

I got teased. It’s awful to be teased for that. I guess my mom should have got herself nice things and we would go without. I bet you if I had to wear the sandals and socks instead of my mom, everyone would be so nice.

If the school isn’t going to permit this back pack for this boy, then their really should be a universal back pack code. No Batman, no Superman, no Justin Beiber, no One Direction etc.

And why can’t children be taught, “never tease someone for how they look. It’s mean.”?

I was just thinking my daughter is using a backpack that I bought for her brother. It’s blue and green. My son had a blues clues backpack in pre-k…Blue is a girl dog!

 

[St_Francis]

But why isn’t it the responsibility of the kid to remove the problem? Get rid of the backpack. Get rid of the problem. Haven’t you heard about picking your battles? He’s not making a political or religious stances. It’s just a backpack. He.IS.A.BOY. He is inviting trouble.

I saw sooooo many people here say they were bullied while in school. Were you bullied, or were you teased? There is a big difference. This kid is being teased because he is carrying a backpack designed for little girls. Stop carrying the girls backpack and the problem is solved. Why is that so hard?

The bullies told the boy to go kill himself. I think that’s beyond teasing.

 

[child_of_God85]

Again, my air force captain brother played with dolls, and rven had some of the original my little ponies. He’s happily married and cery masculine. He is alot nicer to women and has a gentler side to him than other men his age. I believe that came from my mom allowing him to play with girl toys growing up.
My fiance is a masculine guy and lives the show and toys.

 

[DeniseNY]

I don’t believe it was mentioned anywhere on this thread but there was another case of a boy being bullied for being a “brony” (nickname for a boy who likes “My Little Pony”):

11-yr-old Boy Bullied for Being A Brony Fighting for Life After Suicide Attempt

chicagonow.com/portrait-of-an-adoption/2014/02/11-yr-old-boy-bullied-for-being-a-brony-fighting-for-life-after-suicide-attempt-how-you-can-help/

I think this may be the reason why the school banned the backpack.

Dear God, this poor boy!

Dearest St Jude, please pray for healing for Michael!

 

[maryjk]

I saw sooooo many people here say they were bullied while in school. Were you bullied, or were you teased? There is a big difference. This kid is being teased because he is carrying a backpack designed for little girls. Stop carrying the girls backpack and the problem is solved. Why is that so hard?

Used to be that a bully beat you up or physically hurt you in some way.

But now the two words are interchangeable.

What ever happened to, “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me?”

 

[Dulcinea2721]

Used to be that a bully beat you up or physically hurt you in some way.

But now the two words are interchangeable.

What ever happened to, “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me?”

Teach the kids to be independent of the opinions of others.

There is a real problem when a child’s well being is tied into what others think of him.

It is a game of pro vs con…if you like the toy that much then put up with the teasing…if you want to make your life easier, leave the lunchbag at home.

 

[Darryl1958]

Standards and traditional expectations serve as the parameters that help kids safe.

 

[didymus]

Used to be that a bully beat you up or physically hurt you in some way.

But now the two words are interchangeable.

What ever happened to, “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me?”

One of the stupidest saying in the English language. Should be changed to “Sticks and stones just break your bones but words can really hurt you.”

My first reaction was the same as a lot of other people’s – why not just quit wearing the backpack? But what if he were being bullied for wearing the wrong team’s t-shirt, or a Mormon temple garment or a crucifix?

As for teasing vs bullying, yeah there’s a difference but the bully’s favorite excuse is always “we were just teasing” or “joking around”.

 

[Phemie]

Apparently, the research shows that this is the best way to prevent bullying. There was a study recently that said anti-bullying programs are not working and are in fact making the problem worse in the schools.

I agree that this should not be the case but I do find the research compelling.

My place of work is connected to the local Jr./Sr. High School. They often use our space for anti-bullying talks, rallies, etc. They have those talks ad nauseam. Yet it seems that after each one of these there is major ‘incident’. The last one was about three weeks ago and the police were involved. It’s to the point that most kids roll their eyes about these sessions and see them as just time out of class.

Now, I have a son who was bullied in elementary school. He was small and was picked on by older boys and he was always the one in trouble even though he begged not to be forced to go outside for recess or lunch break, a request that was generally denied. Then he was bullied again in high school. I was always the parent who said, “Walk away. Don’t fight back.” In high school he was under constant threat of being beaten up. He didn’t tell me that until it stopped, and it only stopped the day he walked up to the bully and said, “I’m sick of being scared of you. Here I am, take your best shot.” The bully responded, “Shucks, you know I was only kidding,” and walked away. Nobody ever bothered him again.

 

[Phemie]

This latest statement of yours seems somewhat off-topic to the point we were discussing, which was whether it was likely that the boy himself preferred the backpack.

Well, looking at the article with pictures shows that it’s not a backpack but a lunch bag. And since he’s a fan of My Little Pony, that’s the bag he picked when he needed a new lunchbox.

 

[Deus_tecum]

I foresee very little positive outcome for this boy. Had he quietly stopped bringing the backpack to school, he would gain acceptance and make friends. If the “mom” and I use that term loosely, wins her case, the boy won’t be bullied; he’ll be ostracized. If the school administration wins, the boy may end up being bullied for the political theater created by his mom. The national scene she made over this isn’t about the kid really. It’s about her. God help that poor kid.

 

[InflatusMaximus]

Wow. 7 pages for this “news”

What a story!

Meanwhile the world continues to turn and we are one moment closer to Jesus’ return.

 

[ringil]

I don’t know if folks know this but there is a kind of minor “movement” related to My Little Pony. There is a very fascinating documentary on it called “Bronies”.

These are males- even young adults who have really taken to this cartoon for it’s artistry and message. I have watched it- I have a 4 year old daughter- and I sort of, kind of get it. It does send very good messages about friendship and is fairly well done for a cartoon. That said it still is a bit of a mystery to me. I can say overall, that My Little Pony- and it’s devotees are a positive thing in our society. Boys don’t have to play with guns and dream of working on cars to be male- though some do and that’s fine as well.

I support this lad and his choice to wear his backpack. Bullying is a serious issue that needs to be tackled on an assertive basis in our schools.

Here is the trailer for the documentary. youtube.com/watch?v=ohnuyqJyEW0

And did anyone ever answer their opinions on this issue if it concerned a kids desire to wear a scapular or multiple medals.

 

[ringil]

Standards and traditional expectations serve as the parameters that help kids safe.

What is “traditional”?

Do you mean American culture of the 50’s style of “Traditional”?

 

[signit]

Used to be that a bully beat you up or physically hurt you in some way.

But now the two words are interchangeable.

What ever happened to, “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me?”

That was the rule when I was in school.

If someone says something to you, the teacher said, “You should just say, ‘Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me!’”

Besides the fact that it doesn’t work, you’re missing a teaching moment, to show the person doing the bullying or teasing that it’s not a nice thing to do.