Seeking Opinions - Modesty of Dress

  • Thread starter Thread starter Newhills
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Yes!!! Why this man even has to worry about this is annoying. The administrator should do his/her job well and not put a parent in such a position in the first place. Also, it is not just about averting our eyes when there is an occasion of sin, we also should be responsible enough not to put people in the position that they have to do so. Sometimes I feel we punish people that care and are concerned, the world would not be a better place if people got afraid to ask or correct. We do not know the op, his mind or what the other parents are thinking. I am a woman and I try to be conscious about how I dress myself so as not to create an instance of sin in another and because I am a woman, I know that a lot of fashions and style can lead to that. I know a lot of women have no ill intent, they simply wear what fits them, but maybe the problem is that we don’t think deep enough. Ultimately everyone is responsible for his/her own sins but, should we not be more our brother’s keeper?
 
do_justly_love_mercy said:
You have a problem with it because it offends your own personal ideas about how women should dress. I suggest it would be more profitable to put out of your mind any subjective, and ultimately arbitrary, standards of modesty in female dress and instead to focus on not objectifying and sexualizing the female body and not imposing additional restrictions of women’s freedom and choices.
Click to expand...
This is wrong. I have a problem with a Catholic school failing to set a good example relating to matters of the faith. Nothing I said was objectifying or sexualizing her. At all. My wife also didn’t think it was appropriate & raised the subject before I did - was my wife also objectifying & sexualising the lady?

Other than that, I’m not here to argue whether I consider your opinion to be right or wrong.
 
👗 :high_heel:I can’t believe all the excuses I am reading regarding the way this teacher dress! Her attire is inappropriate! She is a teacher and should display respect in her appearance…to everyone! I am so embarrassed for her…being a woman myself…hopefully this will change! 😬
 
It’s not only men who objectify and sexualize women’s bodies. It’s something that is systemic within our society. I really don’t understand why modesty is such a big issue on this website. In my opinion, modesty is just part of our society’s problem with women. Women have breasts to feed babies, we have legs so that we are mobile, we have buttocks so that we are mobile and also to enable sitting, and we have hips so that we can bear children. The concept of modesty isn’t innate; it’s something that society teaches us. Girls are taught, or learn through experience, that if they dress a certain way they will be looked at in a certain way, often by much older men. So, if this teacher is exposing some of her breasts or thighs or revealing the shape of her hips and buttocks, it is the society that we live in that has made this a problem and it’s society that should change.
 
Last edited:
You really think a teacher exposing her breasts, thighs and buttocks to a 6 year old is ok? She wasn’t feeding a baby in class.

I posted paragraphs from the Catechism that are pretty clearly stated. Is that just to be ignored?
 
Last edited:
You make it sound as though she is going around completely naked. She isn’t “exposing her breasts, thighs and buttocks”. She is just wearing a dress that doesn’t meet your own personal standards of modesty, which seemingly are somewhat different than hers. You posted one sentence which has to be seen in the context of the whole of paragraphs 2521-2524.

If the children are six years old, they are not going to be remotely interested in what their teacher is wearing to work. Perhaps if you were talking about 15-year-old boys, or even 15-year-old girls, there would at least be a pragmatic argument for mitigating the risk of inappropriate interest in a teacher’s appearance. But what children really need to be learning about is respect.

Of course, one goes to work dressed in a manner that conforms to certain basic standards of social convention. For a woman that typically means wearing a dress or a combination of blouse/sweater/jacket and a skirt or pants. We also typically wear shoes, with or without some kind of hosiery. Beyond that it’s a matter of personal preference, workplace policy, and requirements for a specific profession. But I think taking a professional woman to task because she fails to adhere to your own personal standards of modesty is interfering and insulting. I don’t follow a specific code of modesty when I go to work, but I use common sense and I have never received any complaints. If I turned up to the office in a swimsuit or went topless in court I’d expect some kind of trouble, but nobody’s going to dictate to me what they think is modest.
 
And all I expect from the teacher is to display the same common sense in attire that you do when you go to work.

There’s no benefit to debating other points in here. I came to ask for some advice and I received some very helpful advice.

I appreciate you taking time to share your views.

I don’t intend to keep posting in this thread.

Thank you again to all who helped me out.
 
Camehome4john6 said:
Could you phrase the question to the administrator more like
“Is there a dress code for the teachers? I’ve noticed that at times attire seems to be less than appropriate for the example that should be set by a Catholic school.”
And refuse to name names.
Maybe then the issue of appropriate dress could be addressed rather than a teacher being embarrassed.
Click to expand...
That would seem the best approach. Those dressing inappropriately will know who they are without being pointed out, directly. That’s tactful, and should be effective. If it isn’t, the boss can take additional measures, if needed.
 
Newhills said:
You really think a teacher exposing her breasts, thighs and buttocks to a 6 year old is ok
Click to expand...
Now I really have to know what became of your meeting with the principal. Am I correct that she was not naked but that her clothing was short/low or just tight fitting?
 
mrsdizzyd said:
have never seen a colleague dressed like they were going to a nightclub. Ever.
Click to expand...
Mileage may vary. Dresses that wouldn’t attract your attention may seem “inappropriate” to others. Of course I don’t think it’s anyone’s business to determine whether a woman’s dress is inappropriate or not save the woman herself.
 
Bungle said:
Different country maybe? No women teachers dressed that way when I was younger but they do now.
Click to expand...
Ditto, here. I don’t recall any of my female teachers dressing in any way but conservative. These were public school teachers, but the ones that taught Catechism classes on Saturdays were either nuns or conservative laity.

The only difference I can recall was when I was in kindergarten and we sat on a large rug on the floor, and the teacher sat in a chair in front of us. There was one substitute teacher who (I’m sure she wasn’t aware of it) didn’t have her legs closed enough, and I could see all the way up to her underwear. I was five years old. It didn’t mean anything.
 
Salibi said:
Of course I don’t think it’s anyone’s business to determine whether a woman’s dress is inappropriate or not save the woman herself.
Click to expand...
In the workplace? I guess that’s because there are no women exercising poor judgement in these matters…:roll_eyes:.
 
We had a guest speaker at the end of Mass recently to talk about Catholic Education. She was clad in jeggings btw.
 
Depends on the dress code. What some view appropriate others view as inappropriate. I would review the school handbook and if there isn’t one, talk to the principal and ask what the standards are. I think you’re concentrating too much on what the teacher is wearing vs what they are teaching. Are they a good teacher? i’d be more interested in that. “custody of the eyes” is also a modest way of being…don’t look at things you consider immodest. Children don’t notice these things generally, it’s adults that do. and talking to the teacher you’d likely just really embarrass her. What if a man was wearing a muscle shirt and tight pants? Would this be inappropriate? it seems it’s always womens dress that gets pointed out.
 
I know I said I didn’t intend to keep posting but here we are.

If a man wore a muscle shirt & tight pants to teach school children then yes, I would absolutely have a problem with it.

(name removed by moderator) has made a very good summary of what I think the issue is.

I don’t really want to give a full debrief of the conversation with the principal, I’m sorry. Although it’s an anonymous forum, I feel like that would be gossiping. I only really came here to ask for advice for how to have the conversation with the principal.

I don’t know if everyone who is mentioning custody of the eyes noticed that I said that my son is 6. It is not about custody of the eyes.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top