Seeking Opinions - Modesty of Dress

[Dlee]

It was a skin tight, flesh coloured dress that was cut too low at the front and too low at the bottom.

I could be wrong, but I wonder if you reaction would have been the same if the dress were navy or grey. Flesh colored may be your issue.

 

[harrygibson18]

I want her to teach me how to behave

 

[libbeylu]

it is the society that we live in that has made this a problem and it’s society that should change.

What? Are you indicating that she is exempt from responsibility of her appearance? No…Please explain…“it’s society that should change”? We, as women, learn by experience or maybe from our mothers on how to present ourselves. At work, you dress what is appropriate for the job, at the beach, you wear your swimming attire, at home, dress comfortably, at a party, wear that party dress and have a good time! Women, in particular should use common sense on how to dress in all situations. Wearing a low cut top or tight clothes indicates that she is exposing herself in a disrespectful way in a business atmosphere. Men usually wear suits or business casual clothes, very respectful…I have worked in a professional business for many, many years, and I can attest to everything I am saying here about the way women dress. A woman who dresses inappropriately in a workplace lowers her ability to be taken seriously…believe me cause I have seen it! The old saying…“clothes makes the person” is so true cause a statement is being presented…

 

[Jen95]

Bungle:

Different country maybe? No women teachers dressed that way when I was younger but they do now.

Ditto, here. I don’t recall any of my female teachers dressing in any way but conservative. These were public school teachers, but the ones that taught Catechism classes on Saturdays were either nuns or conservative laity.

The only difference I can recall was when I was in kindergarten and we sat on a large rug on the floor, and the teacher sat in a chair in front of us. There was one substitute teacher who (I’m sure she wasn’t aware of it) didn’t have her legs closed enough, and I could see all the way up to her underwear. I was five years old. It didn’t mean anything.

Yeah I guess it was meaningless because here you are, how many decades later telling us about it.
My husband had a similar experience when he was in Catholic grade school and he has recounted how all those boys liked that particular teacher!

 

[Poet]

You will not win this one. The principal might give a memo to the staff in general but will not single out this particular woman and she will not likely change her ways. Also, she may not have a lot of clothes to begin with. She might have worn that dress because it was laundry day, and she had nothing else.

It doesn’t matter if it’s general or singling out: the message should be sent that we are a Catholic school and dress should be modest. Maybe she will change her ways. Why would we assume she wouldn’t?

And for Pete’s sake, why would we assume this is the ONLY thing she has available? As an adult it is her responsibility to be prepared to dress appropriately for work! I work with children and I would never in a million years show up in a strip tease outfit because ‘it’s laundry day and this is all I had left.’ I would get up early to do laundry or I would go to Goodwill and buy a new and more modest outfit before I would show up dressed inappropriately in front of children!

BTW…I DO shop at Goodwill and I can easily pick up an entire new outfit for less than $10, skirt, top, all of it, if I’m that desperate and behind on laundry.

Plus, when a woman wears something too revealing, she likely believes it’s up to men to avert their eyes (if she gives even a passing thought to men, which is unlikely.)

Wow, so by this logic I can strut down the street in pasties and a g string and say, HEY GUYS, you’re the problem for noticing, why don’t you avert your eyes!!!

Forgive me for repeating but: I WORK WITH CHILDREN. If their eyes or their parents’ eyes are constantly being distracted, at the very least, it’s a mutual problem and I should dress more modestly but I think it’s very very unfair to take the attitude of … I can show up wearing anything I please, cleavage, thigh, whatever, and you should just deal. . . .

 

[Lara]

Just because you would do something like go to Goodwill does not mean this woman would make the same choice. She obviously hasn’t noticed til now that she is dressed inappropriately so her thought processes are much different than yours.

Secondly, this woman probably believes it’s up to men to avert their eyes. For the most part, I don’t believe that. You have to read my posts carefully for I do put a lot of thought into the wording.

I agree with your first thought that one shouldn’t assume the woman wouldn’t change. However, I very much doubt she will be singled out by the principal.

 

[Grizzly1]

Its perfectly reasonable. After all, you’re paying good money to send your kids to a school with the expectation that there will be certain standards you won’t find in public schools. Raise the money issue during your meeting. If the school administrators feel that you may put your kids in a different school and that you’ll get other parents involved as well, then they may be more open to your concerns due to the potential loss of income.

 

[Patri]

Very well said. Also as a woman, I would feel ashamed that someone felt the need to tell me I was not dressing in an appropriate manner. My common sense should have been the first to alert me. It feels like we think we can do what we want, when we want and woe on to whoever dares correct us or not look away. Is that not pride? We are not kids, our actions impact those around us. I guess I’m just surprised at replies I have been reading, if people do not want to hear talks on modesty, then they should be modest. The rules are crystal clear.

 

[Mi_Rose]

The problem is though that different people grant authority to different sets of rules.

 

[Jen95]

When in doubt, avoid skin-tight, low-cut, short short dresses!

 

[Mi_Rose]

I would agree with that but defining low cut and short is the problem.

 

[libbeylu]

Dressing conservatively is always appropriate. Be modest…admire yourself and present yourself well. But then…a program is aired on live TV in front of millions of viewers and I am still shocked by some saying this was the best half-time performance ever…the Super Bowl half time show…Wow…That kind of presentation was acceptable? Once again, youngsters were watching and tend to copy what they observe…unbelievable what some will do for attention… …it was a sexual display of two women…at least the men had their clothes on…I was so embarrassed…and ashamed…very distasteful…no class…most strip clubs don’t allow children yet this show was equivalent to a strip show and in full public display! :crazy_face: