Sent away from confession

[ishii]

Today a few us were sent away from confession. We had been in line. Then a lady who had been monitoring the line came over and said the priest needs to prepare for Mass and he doesn’t have time for the three of us. We could come back next week or go to another Parish.

I find this to be unacceptable. The secular world would never do something like this. Shouldn’t the Church be better then them?

The main thing I was wondering if this common practice?

I don’t think I have ever had a good experience with the Church. If I go to mass and don’t talk to anyone it just is. But whenever I need to talk to a priest or someone it’s always horrid.

Thanks for listening.

That’s too bad. I once was in line with about five others and a lady came 30 minutes before mass was to begin and told us all “confessions are over.” The strange thing is, the priest hearing confessions was not even saying the mass. The parish workers are very strict when enforcing the confession times, even going to the point of telling the pries that “its 5 O’clock, confession time is over.” So I keep that in mind if I plan to go to that Church for confession - make sure I get there early. Another time there was a mix up and no priest came to hear confessions and when the replacement priest came he told everyone in line that he would be available after mass to hear confessions.

Ishii

 

[agnes_therese]

Serious follow up question.
Since I showed up and was sent away would that be a grave reason for no opportunity to confess?

We are not required to receive Holy Communion at every Mass we attend. There’s no reason for you not to attend Mass without receiving, until you can go to Confession. That’s assuming, of course, that mortal sin is involved, as we can still receive with unconfessed venal sin.

 

[Gorgias]

To be truthful, I decided in the moment to resort to the primacy of conscience and made a good Act of Contrition.

Umm… this isn’t a context in which ‘primacy of conscience’ is relevant.

Are you talking about ‘perfect contrition’, perhaps?

 

[kptrs]

Today a few us were sent away from confession. We had been in line. Then a lady who had been monitoring the line came over and said the priest needs to prepare for Mass and he doesn’t have time for the three of us. We could come back next week or go to another Parish.

I find this to be unacceptable. The secular world would never do something like this. Shouldn’t the Church be better then them?

The main thing I was wondering if this common practice?

I don’t think I have ever had a good experience with the Church. If I go to mass and don’t talk to anyone it just is. But whenever I need to talk to a priest or someone it’s always horrid.

Thanks for listening.

I understand you’re upset, but at the same time I would ask what exactly you expected him to do. A priest has many responsibilities other than hearing Confession. He has to prepare for Mass and say Mass at the designated times. I would be willing to bet there would be at least one person in the congregation who would be just as angry about Mass starting late as you are about not having your confession heard. Priests do the best they can and can only do so much. They’re only human.

 

[YADA]

…

Your take on things – including your approach and the examples you’ve used to illustrate your point – all come from the sphere of consumerism and the business world. In that context, the ‘relationship’ between you and a vendor is purely a business relationship: you give them your money, and they give you a product or service. That means that you’re a customer, and the people with whom you interact are being paid in order to provide you with a pleasant business transaction experience. The context of the Church, however, is different in a few significant ways!

First, the sacraments aren’t a business transaction. They’re an opportunity to approach Christ and to receive grace. That means that it’s not a business context, but a family context. If you went to visit your grandma unannounced and it turned out that her schedule was already pretty full, and she really wanted to meet with you but ran out of time to do so… would you walk away indignant at the ways in which she didn’t respect your time?

Second, businesses hire people to interact with customers. This means that there’s an implicit environment of professionalism – the employees are trained to cater to paying customers, and “the customer is always right.” Is that the situation into which you enter when you walk into a church for confession or Mass? Hardly – the people with whom you interact are, by and large, volunteers. If a volunteer fails to rise to the standard that you expect in a consumer environment, do you then ‘take your business elsewhere’? Do you refuse to do business with the Scouts or the local Little League because they’re not as polished as the folks at Starbucks?

Clearly, priests are busy, and your time is valuable too. We interact with volunteers at church… and they’ve given up their ‘valuable time’ to help out at church. It seems to me that there’s the possibility to look at the experience, and in charity, recognize the difference between going to church and going to a restaurant…

I agree … Sacraments - especially confession are not to be received as if they are dispensed from the Drive Thru window … if you are aware that you sinned - grievously and were in dire need of confession before Mass … One would think you were more concerned with contrition and less concerned with the busy-ness of your life …

I know for me - I would spend an hour in prayer before the Christ in the Tabernacle before the scheduled time of confession contemplating my life and the how and why I decided to turn away from Christ and towards sin along with how I would do better in the future in avoiding that sin. When I know I am in a state of sin and Confessions start at 2:00 on Saturday …I am there before 2:00 … and in reality - there are two parishes in the large urban city that offer confessions every day before the Noon daily Masses … and I have used personal time away form work and my lunch period to go to Confession - not wanting to wait until Saturday - leaving my soul damaged …

Its not just that you were turned away … but your reaction that seems odd … like Sacraments are a commodity that are obtained upon demand and per your schedule. I would bet that your sin did not occur in the hour before the scheduled confession time - nor did you only just that day discover your need to confess. Its sad that so few people even approach confession regularly, its even sadder that so few Catholics respect
the ministerial Priesthood and provide financial support to keep parishes vibrant and open.
Many Parishes close, many parishes have only one priest … Many parishes struggle to maintain a paid parish staff with benefits for those employees - even one person besides the priest … and the minute someone is inconvenienced they take to the world wide web and proclaim their dissatisfaction …

I don’t think I have ever had a good experience with the Church. If I go to mass and don’t talk to anyone it just is. But whenever I need to talk to a priest or someone it’s always horrid.

and how unjust and put upon they were

Maybe you should go to Mass and talk to people like you want to be there and be apart of our Catholic family, like you enjoy participating in the life of the Church, offer to help out in some way - give up some of your precious time in service to the parish …

Cory … this is offered as tough love - Perhaps you need an attitude makeover - instead of dropping buy to **obtain **something for yourself … drop by to give of yourself

 

[ccmcmg]

I’ve already offered alternatives, others have offered more, and I’m open to hearing more as well. But too bad so sad the priests time is more valuable than yours is not acceptable in polite society.

I’m sorry for the hurt you are feeling.

However, there are other considerations to keep in mind:
Yes, it is important what time you showed up, and why you showed up at that time, as opposed to earlier. I’ve showed up on time, or even early, and the line in front of me took 45 minutes (midtown parish, weekday Mass, the week of First Friday/Saturday). I simply did not receive the Eucharist, and went to Confession after Mass.

We are not required to receive Communion at every Mass we attend, and we shouldn’t receive just because we didn’t have a chance to confess our mortal sin previously. However, if the parish is about to be hit by a fatal disaster within seconds, you might want to perfect your perfect contrition…

No one has said that their time is more valuable. But are you saying that YOUR time is more valuable than the priest’s? Or than the other people who showed up to Mass on time, and perhaps have obligations following (as might the priest)?

And yes, I’d consider my priest’s time very valuable. He reaches out and helps more people than I could ever imagine. They don’t just sit around all day outside of Mass and Confession, doing nothing.

There have been times I couldn’t receive Communion, but here where I’m at, I have many times a week where I could go to Confession; poor planning on my part doesn’t constitute an emergency on anyone else’s part.

I’m blessed by many parishes near me. I realize that is not the case in many areas, including where I grew up. In which case, I would need to swallow my pride, and call ahead for an appointment if necessary, or else travel to another parish.

 

[Thomas_White]

Umm… this isn’t a context in which ‘primacy of conscience’ is relevant.

Sure it is. As my Irish Catholic mother would often say while we were growing up, “God gave you a brain for a reason! Now use it!” I did what I thought was best under the circumstances.

 

[JimG]

Most parishes don’t have confession line monitors, nor, in my opinion, should they. There is too much room for bad feeling and misjudgment of remaining time.

Most priests cannot be in two places at once. If he has to say Mass at a certain time, he has to leve the confessional at least 5 minutes prior. And this bears repeating: the priest cannot see how many or how few people are in the confession line! And yes if Mass starts late, people will be upset.

Our parish has a sign at the front of the line which reads “Please do not enter the confessional after 5:25, as the priest must prepare for 5:30 Mass.”

I’ve been in the confession line when the last penitent came out and told me that the no more confessions could be heard. I’ve also seen times when no one was in line from 5:00 until 5:20, and suddenly a number of people show up. Sorry, they all are not going to be heard. There are confessions every day. It’s not like this is the last chance this year.

Now, when I want to make sure of getting to confession, I either get there 15 minutes before confessions begin, or I go on a day when I know the lines tend to be shorter. It’s not a big deal.

 

[Gorgias]

Sure it is. As my Irish Catholic mother would often say while we were growing up, “God gave you a brain for a reason! Now use it!” I did what I thought was best under the circumstances.

LOL! OK – you used your best judgement. Got it.

(That’s not exactly what ‘primacy of conscience’ means, but I get what you’re saying.)

Since it was a weekday Mass, and unless it was just a venial sin, one hopes that your conscience told you “ok, I’ll wait till I get to confession before I go to communion”. Absolutely, we are called to follow our consciences… but more importantly, we’re called to form our consciences properly, so that we know we’re doing the right thing, and not just ‘what seems right to me at the moment’…

 

[CompSciGuy]

I think that this happens a lot, and it is something that ought not to be taken personally. The parish cannot prevent the priest from performing mass in order to finish hearing confessions. There is a set schedule. A lot of priests will offer to hear confessions after mass. I know that you think there should be more priests in order to hear confessions faster, and in a diocese or parish where more priests are available (as is currently the case with me), this often happens.

When I get sent away from the confessional because of scheduling reasons, it can be irritating, but deep down I know that my frustration is not entirely mature, that I must trust in God’s mercy, and intend to go to confession at a later time. I have to look at the obvious good side of this: look at all the people who are going to confession and receiving God’s grace! The parish that I often attend is huge, there are a ton of parishioners there. During the Easter season there was this confession marathon going on and they had probably twelve priests hearing confession. I went during my lunch break hoping that I could get in and get out and then go back to work. Nothing doing. That place was absolutey packed. All twelve lines had at least twenty people in them. I knew I wasn’t going to make it to confession so I went into the adoration chapel, thanked God for all the people taking this opportunity, said some other prayers, made an act of contrition and went back to work.

 

[Casilda]

O Christ, You entered the sheepfold through the gate of Your incarnation, as You entered into the resurrection through the gate of Your cross and into life through the gate of Your death;

For You are the Gate, the Resurrection, and the Life. The person who enters through You is saved. He will enter and leave with the freedom of the children of God and will find in You a green pasture.

Behold, O Christ, from all sides Your sheep hasten toward You. They recognize Your voice when You call them by name in the baptism of Your Holy Spirit.

For they who were pained by Your death when You gave Your life to redeem them, rejoice in Your resurrection through which You give them life in abundance.

We ask You now to place shepherds over us who will feed us on Your Name and example.

Protect us from hirelings who flee at the approach of the wolf and leave us to be devoured and scattered. Protect us from the strangers who come only to steal and kill; not one of them enters through the gate; they do not know the sheep by name and have no concern for them.

Gather together the scattered, bring back to the sheepfold those who have wandered so that there maybe one flock and one shepherd in Your kingdom on earth as in Your kingdom in heaven, for ever and ever. Amen!

 

[KCT]

I didn’t answer it because it’s irrelevant. It would fine if the parish wants to make a rule that everyone who is in line before x time will be seen and others will be turned away. But that is not what happened in my situation.]

I’m not sure that’s possible. Each person may need a different amount of time in confession.

 

[Thomas_White]

It would seem this difficulty involves the larger stress that the Church is experiencing as a result of the shortage of priests. I mentioned in an earlier comment that I had also experienced the problem of confession ending before the line got to me. It happened on one occassion, maybe three years ago, that happened to be particularly disturbing. It occurred at a Church where for many years–probably many decades–there was a Noon Mass every weekday. That was then, and since then the daily Noon Mass at this Church, my favorite, has been altogether discontinued. So, what was then upsetting seems in retrospect to have been only a momentary inconvenience.

I live within the Archdiocese of a large city. The daily Masses in nearly all of the parishes that once provided them have in the last couple of years been discontinued throughout the entire archdiocese. The daily Mass I had attended was a Tridentine Mass. This Tridentine Mass is now said once a week at this parish, on Sunday evenings, and it is the sole Tridentine Mass offered in the archdiocese each week. In this large archdiocese, there is no longer a single parish church that provides a Mass every weekday, though a number of parishes do schedule Masses on two or three weekdays each week.

So, I’d say be thankful for what we do have. It seems there are no certainties in 2015.

 

[Memaw]

It would seem this difficulty involves the larger stress that the Church is experiencing as a result of the shortage of priests. I mentioned in an earlier comment that I had also experienced the problem of confession ending before the line got to me. It happened on one occassion, maybe three years ago, that happened to be particularly disturbing. It occurred at a Church where for many years–probably many decades–there was a Noon Mass every weekday. That was then, and since then the daily Noon Mass at this Church, my favorite, has been altogether discontinued. So, what was then upsetting seems in retrospect to have been only a momentary inconvenience.

I live within the Archdiocese of a large city. The daily Masses in nearly all of the parishes that once provided them have in the last couple of years been discontinued throughout the entire archdiocese. The daily Mass I had attended was a Tridentine Mass. This Tridentine Mass is now said once a week at this parish, on Sunday evenings, and it is the sole Tridentine Mass offered in the archdiocese each week. In this large archdiocese, there is no longer a single parish church that provides a Mass every weekday, though a number of parishes do schedule Masses on two or three weekdays each week.

So, I’d say be thankful for what we do have. It seems there are no certainties in 2015.

As far as I know, every Catholic Church in our large city has daily Mass, and Confessions are limited to certain times before some Masses. I imagine every Catholic has experienced what the OP is complaining about but we don’t make a big deal of it. That’s life. Try to get there a little earlier next time. And if one has mortal sins to confess, one cannot receive Holy Communion until having gone to Confession. If one needs a long time for confession one should make an appointment instead of taking up the whole time for themselves. Be Considerate !! God Bless, Memaw

 

[Memaw]

LOL! OK – you used your best judgement. Got it.

(That’s not exactly what ‘primacy of conscience’ means, but I get what you’re saying.)

Since it was a weekday Mass, and unless it was just a venial sin, one hopes that your conscience told you “ok, I’ll wait till I get to confession before I go to communion”. Absolutely, we are called to follow our consciences… but more importantly, we’re called to form our consciences properly, so that we know we’re doing the right thing, and not just ‘what seems right to me at the moment’…

Amen, God Bless, Memaw

 

[Joan_M]

Sure it is. As my Irish Catholic mother would often say while we were growing up, “God gave you a brain for a reason! Now use it!” I did what I thought was best under the circumstances.

No it is not. If you have a mortal sin on your soul, you should make an act of contrition - hopefully (since none of us know if we actually can) an act of perfect contrition. However, the Church requires that we go to confession BEFORE we receive Holy Communion.

The only people who may make an act of perfect contrition and then receive without having gone to confession are priests who have to receive when they say Mass. None of us MUST receive Communion when we are at Mass.

Correctly following your mothers advice in this case would have caused you to refrain from receiving!

 

[Thomas_White]

No it is not. If you have a mortal sin on your soul, you should make an act of contrition - hopefully (since none of us know if we actually can) an act of perfect contrition. However, the Church requires that we go to confession BEFORE we receive Holy Communion.

Correctly following your mothers advice in this case would have caused you to refrain from receiving!

Not really. Did I say I had a mortal sin on my soul and that I received Holy Communion? The answers are, respectively, “no” and “yes”. I correctly followed my mother’s advice.

My only point was that since I tried to go to confession and couldn’t since the schedule caused the priest to stop hearing confessions, I did, in accordance with conscience, what I thought was a correct way of action. That’s all.

 

[Memaw]

Not really. Did I say I had a mortal sin on my soul and that I received Holy Communion? The answers are, respectively, “no” and “yes”. I correctly followed my mother’s advice.

My only point was that since I tried to go to confession and couldn’t since the schedule caused the priest to stop hearing confessions, I did, in accordance with conscience, what I thought was a correct way of action. That’s all.

I don’t think Joan was accusing you of anything, she was just saying “IF.” There is never a NEED to go to Confession for Venial sins in the first place, so not getting there in time to go is NOT a problem for receiving Communion. Receiving Reconciliation for Venial sins is a Holy thing to do but not a requirement. I doubt your Mom would advise you to go to Communion with Mortal sin on your soul. I know mine wouldn’t. She used to tell us to make a good examine of Conscience before Confession. . God Bless, Memaw

 

[thistle]

Today a few us were sent away from confession. We had been in line. Then a lady who had been monitoring the line came over and said the priest needs to prepare for Mass and he doesn’t have time for the three of us. We could come back next week or go to another Parish.

I find this to be unacceptable. The secular world would never do something like this. Shouldn’t the Church be better then them?

The main thing I was wondering if this common practice?

I don’t think I have ever had a good experience with the Church. If I go to mass and don’t talk to anyone it just is. But whenever I need to talk to a priest or someone it’s always horrid.

Thanks for listening.

You must know the Confession times so why don’t you get there early enough to be near the front of the line?

 

[dgreyes]

The times for Confession at my parish is 1 1/2 hours before the Saturday Vigil Mass. The priest that I go to regularly (he is our weekend help priest) often has a long line, so I go 1/2 hour before the time Confessions are going to start. One time, I was the reader at the Vigil Mass and was the second to last person and it was 10 minutes before Mass. Father was not celebrating Mass as the Pastor was that evening, so he kept on going beyond the posted time . Needless to say, I didn’t make it in so Father offered to hear my Confession after Mass.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the pastor was hearing Confessions one afternoon and had ended about 5 minutes before the posted end time (Mass was in an hour) A lady came in at three minutes before the posted end time and asked if the priest was still able to hear her Confession. I went looking for Father and explained to him that a lady was wanting to have her confession heard. He said “Sorry she is too late and she will have to come back next week.” This made me very sad. Now I do not know why she came in, but I hurt for her as she looked distraught and really wanted to have her Confession heard. I really had wished Father went to her, she was a soul in distress.

As an aside, I have been regularly going to Confession now and I will have to say that the graces from this Sacrament are wonderful! I have, through God’s grace, been able to combat some of the sins that have been plaguing my soul for years.

The image below is one of my favorites as it truly reminds us of who we are confessing to. I use it when I am setting up the confessional for my students at school.