Shaking Hands

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Andreas_Hofer said:
I would much rather have something more formal, ideally some sort of revival of the instrumentum pacis/pax brede.
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I am inclined to think that putting it early in the Mas, near the beginning, and emphasizing the need for reconcilliation with one another (as opposed to greeting) makes sense, also. certainly, within the family there is a constant need for reconcilliation.
 
I went to Mass by myself a couple of weeks ago and was somewhat surprised when the guy next to me grabbed my hand during the Lord’s prayer. I went along with it, even raising arms with him during the appropriate time, but I didn’t feel very comfortable holding hands with another man.

As for the handshake of peace, I am willing to do it, but I suppose I’d prefer it be done away with. It does provide some feeling of being connected to those around me, but this time of year there is an increased danger of spreading illness should you shake someone’s hand and then touch your own eyes, nose, or mouth.
 
I think it should be compulsory to shake hands during the peace be with you bit. Also I love that our priest asks us to say good morning to the people around us when Mass starts. It is so friendly and gives visitors a good welcome. In fact, I think a hug would be nice!
 
Linnyo said:
I think it should be compulsory to shake hands during the peace be with you bit. Also I love that our priest asks us to say good morning to the people around us when Mass starts. It is so friendly and gives visitors a good welcome. In fact, I think a hug would be nice!
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Yes! We all know that genuine courtesy and love only prospers when it’s compulsory and enforced. So why not go the whole nine yards? First we make handshakes and hugs obligatory, then everyone has a 5 minute conversation with each of their neighbors about how their week was, how pretty their hair is today (this comment is obligatory). After that, if there’s still time, everyone can sing a few feel-good pop songs and go home.

…did I miss anything?
 
Markstorm said:
Yes! We all know that genuine courtesy and love only prospers when it’s compulsory and enforced. So why not go the whole nine yards? First we make handshakes and hugs obligatory, then everyone has a 5 minute conversation with each of their neighbors about how their week was, how pretty their hair is today (this comment is obligatory). After that, if there’s still time, everyone can sing a few feel-good pop songs and go home.

…did I miss anything?
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Yes - wer need cakes and coffee at the end of Mass!
 
Markstom,

Do you need to have love and affection for the person you say “Bless you” to when they sneeze? Is it fake, or genuine, when you hold the door open for someone? How about helping someone up who has slipped?

Civility is a basic element of living in a community. It has nothing to do with what you like or dislike, or what you may think about that person on a personal level.
 
Joel_Tunnah said:
Markstom,

Do you need to have love and affection for the person you say “Bless you” to when they sneeze? Is it fake, or genuine, when you hold the door open for someone? How about helping someone up who has slipped?

Civility is a basic element of living in a community. It has nothing to do with what you like or dislike, or what you may think about that person on a personal level.
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Good point!
 
Linnyo said:
Also I love that our priest asks us to say good morning to the people around us when Mass starts. It is so friendly and gives visitors a good welcome. In fact, I think a hug would be nice!
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Forced friendliness or contrived pleasantness is unnatural. If it is spontaneous that is one thing. But the popular notion of a meet and greet before the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass seems artificial and out of place.
 
Joel,

Do you need to be forced to shake hands with people during Holy Mass in order to be civil? If we kept the Mass as what it is, a Holy Sacrifice during which our attention is continually on God, would you be unable to shake hands and socialize with people afterwards?

(I mean the last question rhetorically and somewhat facetiously. If this is actually a problem for you, I am by no means making fun of you, and instead I suggest you read some self-help books on acquiring confidence and social graces.)
 
Joel_Tunnah said:
Civility is a basic element of living in a community. It has nothing to do with what you like or dislike, or what you may think about that person on a personal level.
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Why cant you just turn to your neighbor and say “Peace be with you”…no hand gestures or anything?
Do you make people hold your hands during the Our Father to?
Why do people have such a need to touch and feel their neighbors?
 
Markstorm said:
Joel,

Do you need to be forced to shake hands with people during Holy Mass in order to be civil? If we kept the Mass as what it is, a Holy Sacrifice during which our attention is continually on God, would you be unable to shake hands and socialize with people afterwards?

(I mean the last question rhetorically and somewhat facetiously. If this is actually a problem for you, I am by no means making fun of you, and instead I suggest you read some self-help books on acquiring confidence and social graces.)
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Good Point!
 
fix said:
Forced friendliness or contrived pleasantness is unnatural. If it is spontaneous that is one thing. But the popular notion of a meet and greet before the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass seems artificial and out of place.
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Not if that is what you are used to! I was joking earlier when I said it should be forced but I would be very offended if I wasn’t made to feel welcome! I do like meeting people and I do like the idea of saying Good morning to the folks around me. It makes me feel part of a congregation like we are there together gathered in God’s name to worship and praise Him. Like it was during Bible times.
I think there may be a cultural angle to this too. In some cultures, people are less ‘touchy, feely’ than in others. Also, some cultures are more inhibited than others. However, from TV, I never thought of the USA as being an inhibitted nation and Scotland has a reputation for having quiet people yet in Scotland, handshaking is the norm. Nobody here would even think to argue otherwise!
 
Linnyo said:
Not if that is what you are used to! I was joking earlier when I said it should be forced but I would be very offended if I wasn’t made to feel welcome! I do like meeting people and I do like the idea of saying Good morning to the folks around me. It makes me feel part of a congregation like we are there together gathered in God’s name to worship and praise Him. Like it was during Bible times.
I think there may be a cultural angle to this too. In some cultures, people are less ‘touchy, feely’ than in others. Also, some cultures are more inhibited than others. However, from TV, I never thought of the USA as being an inhibitted nation and Scotland has a reputation for having quiet people yet in Scotland, handshaking is the norm. Nobody here would even think to argue otherwise!
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A simple “PEACE BE WITH YOU” and no hand gestures or touching makes you feel unwelcome???
 
wifeandmomoftwo said:
A simple “PEACE BE WITH YOU” and no hand gestures or touching makes you feel unwelcome???
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Probably but only because I have never been to a Mass without handshakes. I may consider you to be aloof or stand-offish. Especially if I put my hand out to you and you rejected it. I am very sensitive to rejection.
 
I think now more than ever, we are aware to the spreading of disease. Shake hands with your neighbor who just sneezed in his hand, picked his nose, or cleaned his ear wax and then receive Communion in the hand. Wow!:eek:
 
Silver_Thread said:
KYeah like maybe just watch a football game some NO masses are just as entertaining.😃
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lol - I went to a baptism and afterwards we all went to a club for the baptismal party and the baby was put in a corner and the widescreen was turned on. A Celtic game was on and, apparently, that was more important than the baby. Even the food was postponed until the game was finished.
 
Silver_Thread said:
I think now more than ever, we are aware to the spreading of disease. Shake hands with your neighbor who just sneezed in his hand, picked his nose, or cleaned his ear wax and then receive Communion in the hand. Wow!:eek:
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I try my best not to pick my nose in Mass! 😛
 
Linnyo said:
Probably but only because I have never been to a Mass without handshakes. I may consider you to be aloof or stand-offish. Especially if I put my hand out to you and you rejected it. I am very sensitive to rejection.
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Oh well.:rolleyes:
I think you need to get over your sensitivity, but that is only my 2cents.
A Peace be with you with no touching is not wrong and not a sign of rejection.
Silver_Thread said:
I think now more than ever, we are aware to the spreading of disease. Shake hands with your neighbor who just sneezed in his hand, picked his nose, or cleaned his ear wax and then receive Communion in the hand. Wow!:eek:
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👍

Linnyo…you go right ahead and touch the nose pickers hand or perhaps the person that just sneezed in his hand…Not me thanks!
I will stick with my verbal “Peace be with you” and keep my hands clasped in front of me:D
 
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