Should Churches charge for Sacraments?

[Theo2]

I don’t think you are charged for the sacrament, although, I can see how it looks that way. The church has a right to charge for it’s use IMO. The custom is to give a stipend to the priest for weddings, baptism and funerals. A stipend is what you can afford. Again there are customs but if you say to the priest I can’t afford to give you anything he is obliged, that is my understanding, to preform the sacrament. I pray your heart is healed of the hurt.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Yeah, this option is available to all couples. It is sad that our OP is in a parish where it seems it is kinda ignoring practice.

 

[Clementine14]

PS: I give over 5 hours every week to music ministry. Practice hours with team, practice hours at home and time before and after mass to setup, participate and take down. I have never once sent a bill or even thought of it was something that I should be paid for. To think that the parish is sitting and calculating how inconvenient distributing the sacraments are and how they should be compensated is… off putting.

I think this is what the issue is here…your view that the parish views weddings as “inconvenient” and therefore they need to charge for them isn’t accurate. The consensus here seems to be that these types of fees are rather common, and cover all kinds of different things depending on the parish. Also, anyone who truly cannot afford it would not be required to pay.

It is too bad that the secretary at your parish has been rude and that this fee wasn’t communicated to you during your wedding planning. That obviously is not your fault, and I am sure that if you are unable to pay the fee now if you just let the priest know it would be no problem. But it doesn’t sound like you have actually talked to anyone to find out what the fee is meant to be for- some details about why your particular parish asks for it may help you to understand. In the end, though, even if you don’t agree with it, wedding fees are very common. They might be more or less depending on the parish (we paid about $600-700 total, in a more urban community) but it’s not at all unusual.

 

[dochawk]

No, since the wedding ceremony is part of the liturgy and not something we, as laity, control or can dictate

I think that about half the weddings at our parish are actually at the regular Saturday vigil liturgy . . . but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this in a latin rite parish.

hawk

 

[somecanadian]

Are you Eastern rite? Very interesting!!! And it sounds beautiful to have the wedding included in the regular vigil!!!

 

[dochawk]

legally I’m still latin, but that’s really a matter of which church to translate to. My parish is Pittsburgh/Ruthenian, but I’m more inclined to Melkite, and you can only change once . . .

My daughter had the only licit outdoor Catholic wedding I’ve ever heard tale of. We actually have a second consecrated altar on one of our patios, normally set up as a shrine for the Theotokos. As we could seat more people out there (and more were expected than in the church, we put out the portable icons, moved the processional cross, cherubic, etc. out, and even hung fabric from the rafters as a makeshift iconostasis.

It worked so well that (except for the fabric; that was a problem with local wind!) we’ve done it every year since for Pascha, including once with our bishop. (who startled me by handing me his staff after the initial procession (I was serving), leaving me wondering what to do with it. It turned out that my instinct to just follow him about with it was correct.)

hawk

 

[Phemie]

As far as I know we don’t charge for a funeral but we charge for a plot in the cemetery.

I’ve had people on parish council insist we should charge for Baptisms and I’ve come close to losing it over that at meetings. Then I’ve had them insist that we charge for baptismal preparation. That doesn’t sit well with me either. First we tell parents they must do preparation before we’ll consider baptizing their children then we say “Oh, by the way, fork over $25.” Sure it’s not a fortune, but if you insist they do one to get the other then we are charging for Baptism no matter how you look at it.

 

[Fauken]

Sure it’s not a fortune, but if you insist they do one to get the other then we are charging for Baptism no matter how you look at it.

It would be one thing if it was a requested donation, but a reach-aroumd like that for baptism? Good grief!

 

[TheLittleLady]

We started using FORMED for baptismal prep. Folks watch at home or at the Church, we print out the books. SO great!!

 

[Phemie]

We started using FORMED for baptismal prep. Folks watch at home or at the Church, we print out the books. SO great!!

I’m not familiar with that process. Can you elaborate?

 

[Dlee]

It literally cost nothing to have us there except the priests time

Electricity?

 

[Blessedwithfive]

My parish charges for the following Sacraments: First Communion, Confirmation, Baptism, and Marriage. And it makes me cringe every time. With five kids it is not a small amount and we also pay for CCD classes and give weekly as well.

 

[Gorgias]

NOW - I think in the future, as more Gen X and Millennials take over the roles of pastor and parish councils, I think you are going to see the wedding fees dropped (at least for parishioners).

Interesting perspective. Why do you think that this is so? After all, the same financial pressures – and more, if the numbers of active parishioners continue to drop! – will continue to be felt in parishes!

My quick answer is yes they should. The Church is basically a business that needs money to stay open.

That being said the Church is also a Charitable Organization so I would say no.

I think I would put it this way: the Church isn’t a ‘business’, but they have financial obligations that they need to ensure they meet, especially since they need to be good stewards of the resources that they do have!

To be honest I am not 100% sure if they can actually “send you a bill” . That would mean they are charging you for a service and this might effect their tax exempt status.

The usual language is “suggested donation”, and perhaps an amount.

I believe the Church should have been up front and presented you with a recommended donation for the Church, the priest, the altar servers, choir, etc…

That’s the way that I’ve usually seen it done. Some are “fees”, and some are “requested donations”. Not all donations have suggested amounts.

All of which are already used in the normal course of business.

this is where the offertory comes in every week, as well as bequests.

Our diocese has informed us that half of the parishes here are running in the red. So, yeah… celebrations above and beyond the regularly-scheduled ones further strain parish resources. It would be nice if that weren’t the case, but that’s the situation here. (Perhaps that’s not the case at the OP’s parish.)

Keep in mind, too, that collections are taken up at regularly-scheduled liturgies, and these collections help defray parish expenses. Collections aren’t taken up at weddings and funerals, though.

Deacons are paid in our diocese. They were paid in my prior diocese.

Not in my diocese, or the one I lived in a few years ago.

 

[Gorgias]

I would have been down for that! I don’t see why they couldn’t have the wedding party process at the beginning of Mass

In my diocese, wedding Masses aren’t permitted on Sundays. Most folks I’ve talked to want their wedding “to themselves”, so the notion of having theirs at a parish Mass is something they’d never consider. “Different strokes”, I guess…

I think it’s safe to say these kinds of things vary parish by parish and are not universal.

We did not meet with the priest except initially to ask for the wedding and then again when everything was messed up by the first priest and then not again until the day of rehearsal.

Wow. Totally different than what happens here. There’s an initial meeting with a priest or deacon, in order to address any canonical issues (if there are, then the cleric must address them – usually with the diocesan canon law office helping out – before the wedding can be celebrated). There’s also a requirement for a “pre-Cana program” that discusses issues and questions about marriage (usually, these are run at various parishes by married couples). There are often a number of conversations with the couple, as they work through the planning for the ceremony. I know some priests who prefer to have a few meetings with the couple beforehand, in order to get to know them a bit.

Prior to making this post I had read several posts of people who had been charged anywhere from $800 to $1400 for weddings and so I was a bit heated when I initially made the post as that seemed completely unacceptable and outrageous to me.

There’s another dynamic in play, and it hasn’t come up yet in this thread (although I have 20 more posts to read yet). A wedding really is an event of the parish family. The norm is that the parish of one of the spouses is the location chosen for the wedding Mass. However, there are some parishes that get many wedding requests from folks who are not parishioners there – sometimes, because of the parish’s location (near a reception site, or having a scenic view, or near a “destination wedding” site), or because the church itself is exceptionally pretty.

These requests present an undue burden on the pastoral team at the parish. Sometimes, parishes request rather steep charges for the use of facilities, when the couple has no relationship with the parish. In addition, the couple might have to provide their own priest to celebrate the wedding.

That wasn’t the case in your situation, of course, but when I see “$800 to $1400”, that’s what I think of.

 

[God_Is_So_Great]

God’s gift is free. It is wrong to charge for a sacraments.

 

[dochawk]

I don’t see why they couldn’t have the wedding party process at the beginning of Mass the same way the parents of a baby process at a Baptismal mass.

In some EC churches (including mine) the wedding is one of two times in her life that a woman will enter the Holy Place, as the priest leads the couple around the Holy Table (altar) three times. Some other easters are horrified by this . . . (the other time is carrie about at baptism). (similarly, men will only enter at those times unless they either become higher clergy or subdeacons, or fill in for those hard to find subdeacons as altar servers).

Plus I think it would be a beautiful thing for the community although I see how it could be impractical for those who are inviting 200+ guests to their wedding! Haha.

If you want 200 guests at our parish, you better come help set up outside . . .

hawk

 

[dochawk]

Which the parish pastor or deacon are actually already paid a salary. This is their job.

Are there really parishes where deaons are paid salaries? (a serious question; I’ve never heard of such a thing).

hawk

 

[Mi_Rose]

Not our parish but I think you know that. Not our diocese in fact.

 

[TheLittleLady]

If they do, contact the Diocese tomorrow. This is a grave, grave sin. Charging for the Sacrament is Simony and it is seriously wrong.

 

[babochka]

I’m a cradle Catholic and I am horrified that the parishes charge parishioners for “services” connected to sacraments, including required classes and religious education. Where do you draw the line?

Instead of taking a collection, how would it seem if the church sold tickets to Mass, with a extra few cents to cover the cost of the host if you are going to receive? And Confession? It requires the parish to be opened up, which takes time and money. Sometimes the whole church is opened up, heated and cooled, for the sake of only a few souls. It doesn’t make sense to open the church for a whole hour when just a few benefit. Anointing of the Sick? How about a negligible fee? Just a small one, to cover mileage costs. And maybe a small amount for the chrism.

These are horrifying ideas, right? Because these are basic functions of the parish. But so is Matrimony. A Catholic can’t really shop around. They must get married in a Catholic Church and most will marry in their own parish church church, where they have presumably been contributing their time, talent, and treasure. They aren’t looking for a commercial wedding venue, they are coming to the church to get married. Why are we okay charging for the use of the church for these sacraments, but not for others?

My other pet peeve is fees for religious education. I’ve heard stories of parishes charging 100s of dollars for religious education classes, plus extra in Sacrament years. I’ve not seen equivalent fees for the religious education of adults. RCIA fees are still rare, as far as I can tell. I’ve seen parishes spend hundreds of dollars to bring in a well-known speaker, and collect just a free-will offering. But do you want your baby baptized? That will be a $75 fee for the class, you know, to cover the cost of the video that we use for every class and the photocopied handouts. It seems like parishes are balancing the budgets on the backs of families. There has got to be a better way.

I come from a very small parish. We operate on a shoestring budget and get considerable help from outside the parish. We’re hovering at around 15 families right now. Our parishioners give generously of their time and money. Parishioners mow the lawns, clean the church and grounds, mop the floors, scrub the toilets, meet with the fire inspector, bake bread for Communion, etc.

We don’t charge any parishioner for anything. Not for baptisms, not for books for religious education, not for weddings. Donations are always welcome. If you ask my pastor about a fee, he’ll say, “You can give me nothing, you can give me a million dollars.”

I can see if a parish wishes to ask for donations and even publishes a suggested amount. I can see the need to educate parishioners about the real costs involved in providing sacraments and other services to the parish. I don’t think that most parishioners have any idea what a parish is operating costs are, nor do they have any concept of all of the little things that make up those costs. I think a better though, would me too encourage a different form of giving all together. The fee-for-service model is very uncomfortable for a church.