Should Churches charge for Sacraments?

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Well as the wedding isn’t part of the normal Sunday mass, I think you should pay for it as it takes the priests time and effort and takes him away from other ministries. That requires planning and effort of which you (plural, not you specifically) probably know little about, the secretary most probably juggles things so he’s available, the congregation the sick etc …well they just wait or if it’s a bigger congregation are seen by another. As others have said you are not paying for the sacrament, but for the service around the sacrament. I am sure you could speak to the parish about the money

As for how the poor or low income people manage…well, our priest has done funerals for free for those of us who are poor, not me personally but I know of some. I’d imagine he may well offer other services such as weddings for free too if there be a need…oh yes and as you think he should do weddings for free, do you think he should also do funerals for free? The church/priest is there for you to talk too, I think it quite odd that you didnt discuss all this before you got married, if I am honest, in the planning phase. Anyway, no, low income would not be expected to pay beyond their means unless they didnt talk to their priest and he had no idea it was a problem. You wont be either, you can talk to them though of course always easier before hand.
 
I know of no priest that will refuse any Sacrament if a person is truly destitute.

That being said, then your marriage may very well be during a regular daily Mass and you won’t get to have any special music played or anything like that. Just like baptisms during a Mass. It’s just as valid though.
 
More like $1150 in today’s money and our diocese would have no such policy. I don’t know the full details of the story as this was nearing 20 years ago. I only mention it so that anyone reading about it with the ability to do differently in their own parishes if possible may do so.
 
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No, donations are just that.

Donations. They aren’t payment for services.
 
OP, it’s great that you’re actively involved in ministry at your church.
Do you also tithe or give regularly?
Did you have any discussion with the priest about the fact that you were on a shoestring budget and would have to defer your gift till later? Or that you were providing everyone needed for the wedding as a volunteer because you would not be able to donate money right then?

If you did not have any discussions about this in advance, it’s reasonable that you might get a call from the secretary wondering what was up. My guess is that they have had many cases of people who do not think to give an offering, just assuming they should get everything for free.

It’s generally expected that at a wedding or a funeral, the priest gets an envelope. When you go to plan a funeral at a Catholic funeral director’s place (or one that works with Catholics), he will generally include the stipend in with the funeral expenses and explain it to you as an expense.

I seem to recall when I went for my wedding, the priest told me what the suggested stipend was in the pre-wedding discussions. That would have been my cue to tell him if I didn’t think we could afford it and I’m sure that since I was a parishioner he would have been open to talk about it.

But just not giving any money and not saying anything about it and then complaining because you got a call is not very nice, especially since at the very least they had to turn the lights on for you and book the space so perhaps someone else could not use it.
 
If you had told the priest you had no money for a wedding and just wanted you two witnesses and him no wedding dress no flowers no reception no honeymoonno music you would have gotten it here for free.
 
A good option for many but that doesn’t take much into account the forgotten but ever present sin of pride.
 
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AHapka said:
then your marriage may very well be during a regular daily Mass and you won’t get to have any special music played or anything like that.
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I have seen this done recently with a retired couple, both widows (their deceased former spouses were prayed for during the Mass). It was very nice and they were allowed to walk down the aisle and have their families sitting in some reserved pews in the front. Other than that, nothing else specifically for a wedding, but it was a nice ceremony nonetheless. I also think that since they are regular daily Mass goers, a lot of people at the regular daily Mass knew them so it was like having friends there.
 
From the sounds of it the OP is quite familiar with her pastor. As familiar as I am with mine, I’m sure he would innocently mention it to his secretary if he were to do my wedding and I didn’t hand something over. Maybe, or maybe not but I wouldn’t have not handed him an envelope or two. I can understand how such a thing might have been overlooked on such a big day. I’m surprised the parents never thought of it but then again I can see how they might not have wanted to get involved in such things knowing their child’s involvement in the parish.
 
Wedding yes. All other sacraments no.
If churches did not charge, there would be some who would not have the good sense to make a donation.
There are many who do not tip waiters or waitresses at restaurants. That is why some restaurants add the tip to the total cost of the bill. I don’t like that, but I do understand why.
 
I’ve read a handful of the comments and just wanted to add my 2 cents.

When I got married in my parish last year the church charged me a grand total of $0.00. I understand that some churches need assistance in paying for all the things everyone mentioned. I personally disagree with paying for the wedding because we as Catholics have no other option. If it was optional, I’d agree to the fee. Like Baptist can get married in their church or a house or a beach or anywhere. They have no regulation on marriage. I could see them charging. But for us as Catholic, we HAVE to use the priest. If it is in another diocese, or parish, I could see them charging. Otherwise, I disagree with it. It’s too close to simony in my opinion.

Now you can all disagree with me 🙂
 
I was a bit confused by it as well.

The first church we tried to get married at (15 years ago), required a “gift” of $1,800 before deciding they just didn’t want to do our wedding.

We gifted around that number to the church we got married at, but they requested nothing.
DignumEtJustum said:
In my own life, my step-mother would be Catholic if it weren’t for the fact that the parish I grew up in charged $800 for the privilege. Why I have no idea; they were doing fine financially.
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I hear you on that… For our 3 kids, to get them all through confirmation we’ll have over $5,000 invested in the church’s do-it-yourself program (with sacrament years costing more than the other years)
 
That is something that should then be escalated. If this is the home parish of one of the couple, they have a reasonable right to have a wedding. There cannot be a financial prohibition.
 
I’ve never heard of a Church charging the family for a funeral. At least in the Diocese where I have lived it would not be permitted to charge for a funeral.
 
I guess it can be a delicate financial balancing act. For example a parish may receive a million dollar donation for an organ or stained glass windows so it’s going to have to actually allocate those funds to those things if that’s what the money was given for. One might say the organ and stained glass isn’t necessary or even less important than potentially allocating those funds to other areas though the organ and stained glass are pleasant things in themselves handed down to us and something we need to hand down for future generations which might also attract others to the faith. In the end the costs for these programs have to come from somewhere and in many cases it has to be from those utilizing them. Other parishes may allocate more resources toward paying for these programs themselves; the pastor runs the RCIA in my parish which I believe is ideal. In the old days it would have just been taught by the nuns at likely a much more reasonable cost, if not free.
 
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These folks went a different route. Not sure what it cost, though.(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
We found through some local polling that some people think the Diocese sends money to the parish for support! That one got a good laugh.
 
ajg said:
I personally disagree with paying for the wedding because we as Catholics have no other option. If it was optional, I’d agree to the fee.
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The priest NEVER charges a “fee” for the use of his services, just like he never charges a “fee” for Mass.

The offering, stipend or whatever it is called is seen as a good will offering on the part of the couple, who presumably understand that the Church facility they are using for their wedding costs money for the electricity, the plumbing, the maintenance of the roof overhead. Most couples spend a significant amount on things like flowers for the wedding, food for the reception, appropriate dress and suit/ tux etc. It’s only fair that they should also contribute a little something to the Church.

However, if they absolutely could not pay, they could have simply discussed this beforehand with their regular pastor and arrangements would have been made. It may have been a wedding at a regular Mass, as someone else said, but it is very important that people understand the priest is NOT charging a “fee” to marry people, just like the priest does NOT charge a 'fee" to say a Mass for the deceased. If you want to be married in the Church and you are dead flat broke it will be arranged. No one is left out.

The problem arises because there are frankly a lot of freeloaders who will spend their money on a wedding dress, a reception with food/ drink, a honeymoon, flowers, basically anything else related to a wedding and then “cry poor” when it comes to donating to the Church. Like I said, there are legitimately poor people but they are expected to discuss this with the priest at the time of the wedding planning.
 
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