Should I go to a sleepover with guys and girls?

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DexUK said:
… but the actual percentage of young people engaging in such behaviour is tiny. Placed in wider perspective, I really don’t think young people are as bad as they are painted.
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Darran said:
Since you can’t believe me for whatever reason, I would encourage you to read what the bishops have to say about the matter.
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Teens and young people are fabulous people. A very small percentage give the larger population a bad name, and for some reason, many people are scared of teenagers. Or intimidated, or something.

The vast majority of teens and young people I come across and interact with are excellently behaved with great moral values.
 
Catholic90 said:
Teens and young people are fabulous people. A very small percentage give the larger population a bad name, and for some reason, many people are scared of teenagers. Or intimidated, or something.

The vast majority of teens and young people I come across and interact with are excellently behaved with great moral values.
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I’m sure they could well be, but they aren’t the norm.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17236611

kff.org/womenshealth/upload/Sexual-Health-of-Teenagers-and-Young-Adults-in-the-US.pdf

davidmacd.com/catholic/chastity.htm

Some statistics. I’m quite worried that some of you are unable to see this, to be honest. I didn’t think it could be so hard to get this point across.
 
Darran said:
I’m sure they could well be, but they aren’t the norm.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17236611

kff.org/womenshealth/upload/Sexual-Health-of-Teenagers-and-Young-Adults-in-the-US.pdf

davidmacd.com/catholic/chastity.htm

Some statistics. I’m quite worried that some of you are unable to see this, to be honest. I didn’t think it could be so hard to get this point across.
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Interesting stats on that last link. I found this one startling:

“•In the 1960s, one in 50 teens had a STI. Now over 1 in 4 do. That’s an increase of more than 1250% if infected teens.”

Failed social experiment indeed.
 
Darran said:
I’m sure they could well be, but they aren’t the norm.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17236611

kff.org/womenshealth/upload/Sexual-Health-of-Teenagers-and-Young-Adults-in-the-US.pdf

davidmacd.com/catholic/chastity.htm

Some statistics. I’m quite worried that some of you are unable to see this, to be honest. I didn’t think it could be so hard to get this point across.
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I am happy to admit that on two occasions in my high school years we slept together in one large cabin while out camping (2 consecutive nights). There were 5 guys and possibly 6 girls, and no-one had issues. Of course each person had their own sleeping bag. To touch one of the girls, and I had a crush on one of them, would be impossible for me and I wasn’t even tempted to do it. Also I could not think sexually about the girl I had a crush on or any of the others. These things simply did not come to me, there was nothing to resist. That’s not to say I did not find women sexually attractive but somehow knowing these people and being close to them made that idea moot. Maybe that’s pretty atypical of modern youth, hehe, but we were basically all like that. Of course that was many years ago. 😛

These days the media and society implies that if a male and a female are close by (or even if the sexes are the same) some form of dirty thoughts must occur and some behaviours must follow or else the people involved have brain damage. Sad.
 
Bookcat said:
There is a big difference between a group of young people (guys and girls) getting together for some fun.

During the day.
*
And them staying up very late together.*

and then sleeping in the same place.
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As well as changing into pajamas that may be skimpy, revealing, immodest, etc. Or, they could all wear footed jammies like toddlers…Hoodie Footies or whatever…granny panties…

Not that I would presume that the OP’s friends are going to change into their PJs, perhaps they will sleep in their clothing, in fact with coats on too…

😉
 
jill316 said:
I’ve been invited to a sleepover with some of my friends who are not Catholic and we are all in our early twenties. There will be both guys and girls sleeping over. I am worried that the guys will be more than usually tempted during a sleepover with girls, and I don’t want to be the direct or indirect cause of any sins being committed, such as impure thoughts or desires. But I really want to go on the sleepover. Should I?
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You have never answered the question which has been asked several times. What exactly is the purpose of having a sleepover as opposed to, say, a party? Why the sleepover with both young men and women? I do not understand the purpose. Please clarify. Why should young men and women want to sleep in the same place, “just for the heck of it?”

And also, are there separate sleeping rooms for males and females? A sleepover implies that everyone is together in one room, at least that is how it works for kids.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
You have never answered the question which has been asked several times. What exactly is the purpose of having a sleepover as opposed to, say, a party? Why the sleepover with both young men and women? I do not understand the purpose. Please clarify. Why should young men and women want to sleep in the same place, “just for the heck of it?”

And also, are there separate sleeping rooms for males and females? A sleepover implies that everyone is together in one room, at least that is how it works for kids.
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There are a lot of reasons, other than wild sex orgies, that a group of people may arrange a sleep over.
  1. Bad weather.
  2. Plans the next morning
  3. Movie nights (like a movie marathon)
  4. Computer parties
  5. When plans will likely leave one too tired to travel immediately home.
  6. Out of town guests are in town.
  7. When one is out of town
You also wrote,
As well as changing into pajamas that may be skimpy, revealing, immodest, etc. Or, they could all wear footed jammies like toddlers…Hoodie Footies or whatever…granny panties…
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Are you suggesting that the only two categories of sleep-wear are sexy lingerie OR clothes that most find uncomfortable?

Or are you pointing out the absurdity of picking only extremes?

I can’t really tell your intent- I’m sorry.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
You have never answered the question which has been asked several times. What exactly is the purpose of having a sleepover as opposed to, say, a party? Why the sleepover with both young men and women? I do not understand the purpose. Please clarify.
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TheWatcher said:
There are a lot of reasons, other than wild sex orgies, that a group of people may arrange a sleep over.
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With all due respect TheWatcher, he was asking the OP for a reason, not a list of possible ones.
 
Darran said:
With all due respect TheWatcher, he was asking the OP for a reason, not a list of possible ones.
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I’m with Baelor here; sorry. I don’t see why the OP needs to demonstrate or divulge a need.
Second, I should clarify that, based on my knowledge of the type of people that will be at the sleepover and the type of atmosphere to expect, I am fully confident that there will be no sex or inappropriate contact, and very little drinking.
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This is the important part. She wishes to attend a party that runs throughout the night, in an atmosphere that sounds pretty respectful.

I understand that you’re a nineteen year old male (from Ireland) and that you feel that you are most qualified to respond, but you’ve been pretty uncharitable in this thread.
You’ve dismissed people because they don’t share your faith, you’ve dismissed people for being women, and you’ve dismissed opinions because they’re not 19. A lot of us on here do have some relevant experience too. Your opinions are valuable and appreciated- please keep in mind that others are as well.
 
TheWatcher said:
This is the important part. She wishes to attend a party that runs throughout the night, in an atmosphere that sounds pretty respectful.
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A party that runs through the night with guys and girls…is already a problem.
 
Bookcat said:
I have not seen such happen.

Note Bene though: this is the Catholic Answers forum. Posters come here for Answers in terms of the Catholic Faith.
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Yes, I agree.

I wasn’t suggesting that non-Catholics should be pushing something contrary to the Church’s teachings. I am an atheist and I am a guest on this forum.

To dismiss one for not being a Catholic if they’ve not said something contrary to the Church is a little unproductive. What faith one does or doesn’t follow shouldn’t matter, by itself.
 
TheWatcher said:
Yes, I agree.

I wasn’t suggesting that non-Catholics should be pushing something contrary to the Church’s teachings. I am an atheist and I am a guest on this forum.

To dismiss one for not being a Catholic if they’ve not said something contrary to the Church is a little unproductive. What faith one does or doesn’t follow shouldn’t matter, by itself.
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I do not know that anyone dismissed you for not being a Catholic.

But it does matter what Faith one is for this is the “Moral Theology” section of the “Catholic Answers Forum” and people are coming here asking questions in terms of Catholic Moral Theology and the living a Christian life.
 
Baelor said:
Why, exactly, is this the case?
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Staying up into such late hours in such a social situation with the opposite sex is not a good idea due to ones inhibitions lowering due to late night fatigue.

Introduction of alcohol makes matters worse.
 
Staying up into such late hours in such a social situation with the opposite sex is not a good idea due to ones inhibitions lowering due to late night fatigue.
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There is so many ways that that statement can not apply to this situation presented by the OP that it is meaningless. For example,
  1. Late hours
  2. Late hours with the opposite sex (versus splitting up and talking when in bed with the other people of your same sex)
  3. Lowered inhibitions in that way at late hours
  4. Everyone being so horny that they cannot control urges and will want to have sex with anything that moves after whatever o’clock.
I weep for the future if these are the expectations that we have for young people today. We should be encouraging chaste interaction between the sexes. There is nothing inherent in a sleepover that is at odds with chastity. I should know, I’ve been on plenty of them where nothing whatsoever happens. Only the OP is able to make a well-founded judgment call about the situation, given that only the OP knows anything about the people and activities involved.
 
jill316 said:
I’ve been invited to a sleepover with some of my friends who are not Catholic and we are all in our early twenties. There will be both guys and girls sleeping over. I am worried that the guys will be more than usually tempted during a sleepover with girls, and I don’t want to be the direct or indirect cause of any sins being committed, such as impure thoughts or desires. But I really want to go on the sleepover. Should I?
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Out of curiosity, in the end, what was your decision?
 
Baelor said:
There is so many ways that that statement can not apply to this situation presented by the OP that it is meaningless. For example,
  1. Late hours All night is late hours
  2. Late hours with the opposite sex (versus splitting up and talking when in bed with the other people of your same sex) Yes there is difference unless some has same sex attraction…they too would be advised to avoid certain situations
  3. Lowered inhibitions in that way at late hours Indeed!
  4. Everyone being so horny that they cannot control urges and will want to have sex with anything that moves after whatever o’clock.Such is a straw man arguementOne is not understanding that it is not necessarily a question here of external sins…mortal sins in thought or desire too can be involved…
I weep for the future if these are the expectations that we have for young people today.

Why one earth should guys and girls there be having a “sleep over party??”

We should be encouraging chaste interaction between the sexes. Yes There is nothing inherent in a sleepover that is at odds with chastity. Why on earth should such a think take place??? Chastity yes can be gravely at risk even in interior sins of thought–as well as modesty is here in question
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