Should I go to a sleepover with guys and girls?

[Baelor]

All night is late hours

I am told it is rather difficult to make decisions when one is asleep.

Yes there is difference unless some has same sex attraction…they too would be advised to avoid certain situations

Yes, and unless this applies to the OP, irrelevant.

Indeed!

Not everyone has lowered inhibitions is what I was saying.

One is not understanding that it is not necessarily a question here of external sins…sins in thought or desire too can be involved…

Hence my statement, which said “want to have sex,” not “have sex.” Please read through my posts carefully before responding; I do my absolute best to say what I mean.

Why one earth should guys and girls there be having a “sleep over party??”

That is not a question to which an answer must be provided? Why is your favorite color what it is? Why do you like a given book and not another book? Why do you enjoy doing some things but not other things? Each person has different answers to these questions. It is not for us to ask that question.

Why on earth should such a think take place???

Because…people want it to.

Chastity yes can be gravely at risk even in interior sins of thought–as well as modesty is here in question

Those are not inherent to sleepovers, those are incidental. That is like going to the movies is inherently dangerous sexually because some of the movies have graphic content. I hope you can understand that you are building your argument on an insubstantial cloud, one that seems a sound foundation but in fact is nothing more than an illusion.

 

[Bookcat]

“She wishes to attend a party that runs throughout the night”

Hence…they seem to be planning to stay up very late into the night.

 

[Baelor]

“She wishes to attend a party that runs throughout the night”

Hence…they seem to be planning to stay up very late into the night.

Where does the OP say that? Furthermore, what is the relevance? See points 3 and 4 in my recent post.

 

[Bookcat]

Where does the OP say that? Furthermore, what is the relevance?

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=8834942&postcount=67

You: forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=8834966&postcount=70

Hence I answered:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=8834991&postcount=72

 

[Baelor]

I never stated that they would be staying up all night. Where did the OP, and do not quote anyone but the OP, state that the OP was staying up all night?

Furthermore, what relevance does staying up all night have? Can you definitively state that the OP’s inhibitions, or those of her friends, will be dangerously lowered in a sexual manner?

 

[Bookcat]

I never stated that they would be staying up all night. Where did the OP, and do not quote anyone but the OP, state that the OP was staying up all night?

Already answered above as to how we got to where we are now.

 

[Baelor]

Already answered above as to how we got to where we are now.

I am interested only in information provided by the OP, not that assumed or posited by other posters.

You said that inhibitions are lowered in late-night hours. What proof do you have that this will apply in the OP’s situation on any level?

 

[Bookcat]

I am interested only in information provided by the OP.

Then perhaps do not get involved in the other conversations in the thread…it was not with the OP that such was being discussed

(I understand of course the confusion here).

 

[Bookcat]

I’ve been invited to a sleepover with some of my friends who are not Catholic and we are all in our early twenties. There will be both guys and girls sleeping over. I am worried that the guys will be more than usually tempted during a sleepover with girls, and I don’t want to be the direct or indirect cause of any sins being committed, such as impure thoughts or desires. But I really want to go on the sleepover. Should I?

no…

 

[TheWatcher]

Then perhaps do not get involved in the other conversations in the thread…it was not with the OP that such was being discussed

(I understand of course the confusion here).

To be fair, when I said “throughout the night” - I was including the possibility that they were sleeping too. I didn’t mean to imply that they were going to stay up all night. I have no clue whether or not this was their plan. I suppose I see “sleeping at a party” as “being at a party” still.

 

[Baelor]

Then perhaps do not get involved in the other conversations in the thread…it was not with the OP that such was being discussed

(I understand of course the confusion here).

Bookcat, please read my posts in their entirety. You still have not answered the following:

Furthermore, what relevance does staying up all night have? Can you definitively state that the OP’s inhibitions, or those of her friends, will be dangerously lowered in a sexual manner?

If you would like to broaden the scope more generally, are you able to prove that sleepovers are inherently bad? Your initial attempt, which I took as the following:

Staying up into such late hours in such a social situation with the opposite sex is not a good idea due to ones inhibitions lowering due to late night fatigue.

has not been substantiated. Unless you can demonstrate that this is universally relevant, addressing each of the four concerns I listed above, then you still have not explained what is essentially versus incidentally bad about sleepovers.

 

[Bookcat]

To be fair, when I said “throughout the night” - I was including the possibility that they were sleeping too. I didn’t mean to imply that they were going to stay up all night. I have no clue whether or not this was their plan. I suppose I see “sleeping at a party” as “being at a party” still.

Generally I do not see such an event wrapping up “early”.

Not that I would suggest such even if they did go to bed early.

 

[Bookcat]

Look there is not going to be some universal “if they get together for a mixed sleep over there is certainly going to be sinful actions or thoughts taking place”

Such still does not make it something for Christians to be doing.

I would say ordinarily it is of a “please don’t eat the daisies” sort of thing.

 

[Baelor]

Such still does not make it something for Christians to be doing.

What makes it something that Christians should not be doing?

 

[Bookcat]

What makes it something that Christians should not be doing?

It is a slumber party of mixed genders in their 20’s and mixed backgrounds? Why would this be something a Christian should attend?

 

[Baelor]

It is a slumber party of mixed genders in their 20’s and mixed backgrounds? Why would this be something a Christian should attend?

You are not answering my question. My question was why this was something that Christians should not attend. Can you provide an answer to my question?

 

[Bookcat]

You are not answering my question.

Neither are you.

 

[Bookcat]

Prudence, chastity, modesty, good example, avoiding scandal…etc

Look …the person asked “should I go” and received a number of “no’s” as responses. Such too was my response to the question. The OP has not asked for further discussion. I am not looking for a further protracted discussion here either…

 

[TheRealJuliane]

We are quarreling amongst ourselves. The OP has not said what is the purpose of having a mixed-gender sleepover. It is not an event somewhere far away that they will need to stay over for. At least she did not say that. She stated that it is a sleepover, and said nothing else.

When people plan a party, they set the conditions. Such as, it is a buffet, it is a potluck, it is a fancy-dress party, it is a surprise birthday party, it is an anniversary party, etc. This occasion has only been presented as a sleepover. It is rather curious that 20 somethings want to get together for the specific purpose of having a party that children normally have. My sons haven’t done sleepovers since they were in 5th grade.

We have gotten several questions about a guy sleeping over at a girl’s house, but these have all involved a late night, bad weather, etc. This is not that situation either.

Don’t try to answer for the OP, I am asking her specifically. Why is this a sleepover specifically? Why not just have a party and let people go home? If it is that some people may drink too much and need a place to crash, I understand that. That means drinking WILL be taking place.

I hear quite a bit about after-prom sleepovers between boys and girls. Some parents allow their high school boys and girls to rent hotel rooms and stay the night after a prom.



They don’t sleep.

 

[Darran]

I understand that you’re a nineteen year old male (from Ireland) and that you feel that you are most qualified to respond, but you’ve been pretty uncharitable in this thread.

You’ve dismissed people because they don’t share your faith

I think you may have confused me with Bookcat, and took what he said to you as an insult as opposed to a correction.

/

Bookcat:

While your personalism there is wonderful. I note your self -description is “atheist”. I would suggest that there is more to Christian chastity and modestly than what you may see or accept in your atheism.

There is a vast difference between you wearing your hair down in a non-immodest way and someone treating you as an object.

And a group of young persons of various backgrounds likely influenced by the surrounding culture of disordered sexual lives (or even those seeking to live chaste and modest lives) – staying up through the night and sleeping in the same place.

TheWatcher:

you’ve dismissed people for being women and you’ve dismissed opinions because they’re not 19

I mirrored BettyBoop’s nice comment back to her in jest because she seemed to think that I would be the worst candidate to give insight on how people of my almost-precise age, gender and generation handle themselves.

Given that the world has undergone a LOT of changes in the past century, I don’t see what is so shocking and unreliable about someone who is able to say it as it is currently, without having recourse to a bias of reminiscence - that is, judging a situation by “how it was” in an older-youth as opposed to todays.

As much as it is understandable that someone wouldn’t want to accept that the world really is in the sexually, morally corrupted mess that it is, as I can definately understand that, it is quite honestly stupid (and possibly dangerous, given that the OP wants advice) to argue that it isn’t.

Read what I post before calling me uncharitable. For the second time, don’t argue for the sake of argueing.