Should I keep the baby?

  • Thread starter Thread starter MariaCA
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
MariaCA said:
No, thats not what I am saying at all, for various reasons I have omitted quite a bit from what I posted, as I have had to seek legal advice about somethings which have happened, therefore it would be inappropriate to post it on here. Likewise some of it is not suitable for younger teens.

I wanted to keep my baby and raise my baby, but what has happened has pushed part of me into not even wanting to carry my baby. I am desperately trying to find the strength to continue the pregnancy and be a mom to my baby.
Click to expand...
Maria,

I understand that you are going thtrough the “wringer” right now and that can cloud your judgment and work against clear thinking. I just said a prayer for you that God grant you clear thinking. Considering the pressures you are under, that is the first order of busienss, so that you may gain the strength to care for your baby that you are carrying.
 
Marc_Anthony said:
First of all your situation is extremely difficult and you have my prayers and condolences.

With that said: …WHAT??? Why on EARTH is abortion an option but not adoption?

Do you realize that what you’re saying is that you’d rather KILL your unborn child than give it to a family that will love it and raise it in a good environment?

Yes, offering up your baby for adoption is difficult for everybody involved, but do you really think abortion will feel any better? Although God always offers forgiveness, you’ll have to live with that guilt for the rest of your life.

What am I missing here is why you would consider killing your baby (“terminating” is a word that is generally used to dehumanize the baby and make it seem like a medical procedure. Let’s call it killing, because that is what abortion REALLY is) but not consider sending him or her to a loving home where they will be loved and cared for. How on Earth is abortion an option but not adoption?

I’m sorry, but I’m at a loss here as to why you’re dismissing ADOPTION out of hand but are sincerely considering ABORTION.

Please believe me when I say I’m really not trying to be insensitive here. I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that you immediately dismiss adoption and throw it away as a non-option but consider abortion a viable alternative to keeping the baby! Do you really think adoption will be harder than having your baby killed?

I’m honestly at a loss here, and I hope you believe me when I say that I am truly not trying to be insulting.
Click to expand...
For various reasons I have omitted quite a bit from what I posted, as I have had to seek legal advice about somethings which have happened, therefore it would be inappropriate to post it on here, for so many reasons.

I wanted to keep my baby and raise my baby, but what has happened has pushed part of me into not even wanting to carry my baby to term. I am desperately trying to find the strength to continue the pregnancy and be a mom to my baby. Its hard enough emotionally being pregnant, without various abuse as well.
 
MariaCA said:
For various reasons I have omitted quite a bit from what I posted, as I have had to seek legal advice about somethings which have happened, therefore it would be inappropriate to post it on here, for so many reasons.

I wanted to keep my baby and raise my baby, but what has happened has pushed part of me into not even wanting to carry my baby to term. I am desperately trying to find the strength to continue the pregnancy and be a mom to my baby. Its hard enough emotionally being pregnant, without various abuse as well.
Click to expand...
Maria,

I’ve sent you a private message.

blessings,
CEM
 
O Good Saint Anne,who had the incomparable privilege of bringing into the
worldHer who was to become the Mother of God, I come to place myself under your special care.

I confide myself to you,
together with the child I am carrying.
Thousands of children owe you,
Glorious Mother of Mary,
the life of the body and the grace of baptism.
Hence I wish, in my turn,
to place my whole confidence in you.
Make me keep in mind the precautions I need to take
so as not to endanger in any way the health,
good qualities or the eternal salvation
of the child whose very existence
God has placed in my care.

Obtain for methe virtues you did teach Her who was to be the Mother of
God, so that I may afterwards instil and develop them in the heart of my child.

O Good Saint Anne, protect me today and forever.
I know that you will not refuse your intercession
to a mother who invokes you with confidence.

Amen

catholic.org/prayers/prayer.php?p=686
 
MariaCA:

I bet right now you are very frightened of the future for yourself and also the baby.

You have learned a lot about the father and his family, their morals, their compassion and a few other important character traits that they lack. Honestly, this was a hard way to discover all this but better now than later. 😉

I understand you are frightened and feeling unsure but you will be ok because you will have a reason to make a bright future for yourself when you first hold your baby. Everything you do from then on will be good.

Thank God for allowing you to see what a smuck this guy really is.

I just spent several days with my old high school buddy. She had an abortion when she was 22yrs old.

She is now 61 yrs old and to this day has not moved forward with her life because of it. She is in such a deep depression I actually fear for her. She has spoken to her Priest but cannot forgive herself for killing her baby.

Oh his family would love for you to “get rid” of the baby. I think you will choose to have other plans and you will make sure your child will have at least one loving parent.

You and your baby have a good future just ahead of you. Grab it! 👍
 
i can not offer ant advice, but i will deffiantly pray for you, but please dont abort the innocent child :gopray2:
 
Hello Maria,

My older sister (who is also named Maria) has been through these kinds of situations before, and a very similar situation to what you have described only about a year ago. My sister’s first boyfriend date-raped her early in their relationship, leading her to become pregnant with my nephew (now 5 years old) Chase. She didn’t know she was pregnant, and therefore, neither did anyone else. When she started having morning sickness we all thought she might have had an illness, until after about a month of being sick, my dad took her to the doctors a few times over the next couple of weeks for tests. And finally, they told her that she was pregnant. She struggled with it for a long time, but luckily for her, she was not alone, she had us, her family to help her through. After her boyfriend cheated on her, she left him, he denied being the father, plenty of court cases and boyfriends later, she now has full custody (with my parents having guardianship because she was still young). A few boyfriends later she started dating this guy and got really close to him. And eventually moved in with him and his mom and brother. His mom was very manipulative of him and her. He wasn’t the brightest candle, but there was no need for his mom to baby him and control him like that. It came to a point where they had taken away my sister’s money, driver’s license, and social security card for her to only use when they felt necessary. They were basically holding her hostage. And worse, with the little communication we had with her at this time, we didn’t know how bad it was, or what to do after she finally got word to us that she wanted out. She eventually became pregnant, but her boyfriend’s mom denied that it was his calling my sister a whre and a slt, but my sister was nothing but devoted to him during the time they were together. After some time, we finally managed to get her out of that situation, she is back living at home where she belongs, with both kids (and both fathers doing nothing to support them). And she has a new boyfriend of which my whole family approves. He’s good with the kids, and will even help out at our house when my sister is not even home.

My point is, babies can come out of struggles, some pretty rough ones. But do not associate the blessing of a child with a poor situation. It isn’t your baby’s fault for the father’s actions. There is no reason to take this out on the baby. That is what abortion is doing. You need to remember that your child is innocent of all wrong doing, so you need to nurture it. You need to have a sincere talk with the father and about his mother’s actions. His mother might not listen to reason, so there probably won’t be any good way to calmly talk to her without an objective mediator. If being with the father is more important to you than the baby’s life, then I strongly suggest you reevaluate the situation.

A child is always a blessing, whether you realize it or not. Please don’t get an abortion. Please support life. Give the baby the mother it deserves.
 
Maria, I’m praying for you. Please, please keep your baby. Abortion is never the answer.
 
You can do this…I pray that God can help…and no matter what you asking this is perfectly ok for you to ask these questions…the Lord is with you!

Paz y amor
 
I would ring your priest up and have a real talk with him about it all before making any mind up. Tell him the whole thing and allow yourself to be guided by the church. That way any future doubts you can handle because you did by the guidence of the church. But ring your priest and book a time where you can really talk.
 
Sounds like the O.P / Maria wants to keep her baby, not as the title suggest of " should i " .

one doesn’t come to a Catholic forum of all places seeking approval from catholics to terminate a life.

the O.P is sounding as a need for support and perhaps help with maybe getting the father of the child back in her life and out of the life of his mother.

and from what Maria has stated from everyone whom she has talked to, this mother has done everything she can to drive the two apart, and may have achieved her goal.

I am kind of curious if Maria wants this man back in her life, it sounds as if he has been lead away from stepping up to his responsabilities…

Hopefully the young man will mature some where down the road and break free from his mother, the mother may feel she is / has protected her son, but if what Maria is saying is true ( and of course there is no reason to doubt her an i am not ) then this woman has destroyed a relationship between these two/ what started out in love was twisted by jealousy and hate/ and now another life inadvertenly hangs in the balance because of someone else meddling in the relationship.

Unfortunately the young man in this situation is obviously too immature to see what is going on, and being validated by a parent to run away and abandon everything only makes it easier for him to do just that.

It is a shame to hear that this has happened to such young people, and that faith in the process has been shaken.

It can be easy to give up when things appear hopeless.

Sounds like Maria wants to keep her baby myself and others are praying that you do Maria, and very sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time in life when it should be a joyous time.

I hope the young man in your life turns around and matures in time to see what has happened and can take his life back from his mother, become a great father, and maybe even save a relationship between the two of you that his mother had a hand in destroying.
 
john78 said:
Sounds like the O.P / Maria wants to keep her baby, not as the title suggest of " should i " .

one doesn’t come to a Catholic forum of all places seeking approval from catholics to terminate a life.

the O.P is sounding as a need for support and perhaps help with maybe getting the father of the child back in her life and out of the life of his mother.

and from what Maria has stated from everyone whom she has talked to, this mother has done everything she can to drive the two apart, and may have achieved her goal.

I am kind of curious if Maria wants this man back in her life, it sounds as if he has been lead away from stepping up to his responsabilities…

Hopefully the young man will mature some where down the road and break free from his mother, the mother may feel she is / has protected her son, but if what Maria is saying is true ( and of course there is no reason to doubt her an i am not ) then this woman has destroyed a relationship between these two/ what started out in love was twisted by jealousy and hate/ and now another life inadvertenly hangs in the balance because of someone else meddling in the relationship.

Unfortunately the young man in this situation is obviously too immature to see what is going on, and being validated by a parent to run away and abandon everything only makes it easier for him to do just that.

It is a shame to hear that this has happened to such young people, and that faith in the process has been shaken.

It can be easy to give up when things appear hopeless.

Sounds like Maria wants to keep her baby myself and others are praying that you do Maria, and very sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time in life when it should be a joyous time.

I hope the young man in your life turns around and matures in time to see what has happened and can take his life back from his mother, become a great father, and maybe even save a relationship between the two of you that his mother had a hand in destroying.
Click to expand...
I wish I could reply to this and say he is young and immature, the latter is certainly true, but he is in his 30s, she just won’t give up until shes got her way with him. Would I want him back? I don’t know, I never see him seeing the truth with his mother, he thinks she is just wonderful and a devout catholic, despite everything she has done. Apparently I have “hurt her feelings”, doesn’t matter what she has done to me.
 
Thank you for everyone who has shared their own experiences, it really means a lot, and again for all the prayers
 
MariaCA said:
I was debating with myself whether to post this under moral or here, but I think its more of a family issue for me really. I want to start by saying I’m pregnant and I have always been against termination, however, I find myself in a really difficult situation which just cannot be controlled. I should also say that adoption is definitely not an option for me, its great if you can do that, I can’t and won’t consider it.

I guess to make the issue short as possible, myself and the father planned this baby and we loved it so, so much, I knew his mom wouldn’t be happy as we are not married, but we were both happy and we made a decision. His mom has never liked me, although I have done nothing but be pleasant and polite to her over the last several years, although now I have had to ask that she never contacts me again due to some harassing emails about my being pregnant. So the father told his mom that we were expecting and she was not happy, not at all. Questioning why we did it, saying it wasn’t right, and questioning her sons love for me. As a side I should mention shes very controlling of him and I have spoken to professionals and people in the catholic church, all who say that her behavior is abusive toward him, but he will never understand or see that. I won’t go into it all here as it isn’t appropriate but its manipulative.

Since he told her, he decided he wanted nothing to do with me of his baby, and has been really mean, to put it in a nice way, towards me, when I said I would raise my own baby him and his family called me selfish. He says he won’t go to any scans or support my pregnancy because he doesn’t want to get attached to the baby.This has gone on so long, and he isn’t willing to get help or to talk to anyone unless it suits his purpose i.e. telling me I am selfish which nobody will. I have looked to the church for help and they confirm the position about his mom, I have prayed, I have cried and I am really tired. I am considering a termination now, even though I can’t even type the word without crying. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn’t want to understand how I feel. I pray for him to break free of the situation he is in, I really do, but I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I am losing everything, even my faith right now.

I’v tried to keep that as short as possible, I could write a book if the truth be told on it, if anyone has anything to say I would appreciate it so much, its really hard feeling this way.
Click to expand...
Is your family supportive of you having the baby?

Have the child. Consider adoption and start looking at that option. Don’t be afraid to love your child because the father has abandoned you. Remeber, he’s abandoned his own baby too. The two of you are in this together. The Blessed Virgin Mary understands your plight. Talk to her.

The child’s father sounds very immature. He planned the baby with you and now sides with his Mom? From what you’ve said, you two were together for a number of years. I take it he is an adult and not a teenager.

Don’t abort your child. I’ve met too many women who have regretted that decision. Don’t do it. :console::gopray:
 
Right now, it is not about what YOU feel or what YOU want. It is all about what is best for the baby and what is best for you and the baby, and of course abortion is not a solution, but only a source for a lifetime of guilt and regret. Don’t let the baby’s father (or Granny) pressure you into doing what is best for THEM. Have you consulted with a family practice lawyer? Like it or not Dad has legal responsibilites and you and the baby have the right to hold him accountable. The crisis center should be able to help you with a referal. Stay strong, in a few a months you will become an awesome Mom and hold the REAL love of your life in your arms and rejoice that you made the best decision for both of you. God loves both of you and it will all work out. :rolleyes:
 
MariaCA said:
Thank you for everyone who has shared their own experiences, it really means a lot, and again for all the prayers
Click to expand...
Prayers from me too for peace of mind, and strength and courage to bring your baby into the world despite your anxieties and fears.

Remember, this is your baby’s ONLY chance at life.
 
Hi Maria, I encourage you to look at priestsforlife.org to see what abortion is really like. I fully believe that the vast, vast majority of women who see what an abortion actually is would not choose one. I think most close their eyes to the horrific reality of it.

Also visit silentnomoreawareness.org to read stories from women who did make that choice to have an abortion. They have suffered for years and years and share their stories in the hope that others will not make the mistake they did.

I urge you to consider open adoption if you really feel as though you cannot give the best life to your child. You can stay in contact with your child and his/her family. Adoption does not have to mean goodbye forever.

I have heard post-abortive women say that one of the hardest things is seeing other children who are the same age their own child would be.

Your baby already has his/her own unique genetic makeup. His/her heart is beating inside of you. You are your baby’s only hope. You are not alone. Do not make this choice that will not only end your baby’s life but will cause you so much anguish long after you have left the clinic.

Lord, encourage Maria to choose life for her baby. Help her to see that she is never alone no matter how the father of her baby treats her. You are her true Father, and that of her baby. You have a special plan for this baby and his/her mother. Jesus, we trust in You.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top