Should I keep the baby?

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I am sure I should be in bed, but finding it so hard to sleep lately.

Thanks again for the support everyone has given. I am going to get some more help by talking to my doctor about everything this coming morning.
 
First, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Second, as someone who is about to give birth to their first child, I cannot begin to tell you how blessed we are to be given this wonderful grace and gift. Although your situation in terms of support is much different, I can understand the stress, the worry, the emotional pain you are experiencing right now. Know that Jesus and Mary are here for you and are your family in Heaven. When times are rough, when you feel at your worse, pray! It’s cheesy, but it works. Mary knows your pain, go to her! Know you are loved and that your baby is loved as well.
 
praying for you. tell that momma’s boy to get lost, you don’t need immature trash in your life. please keep your baby… having a baby is so amazing and wonderful. they are so precious and tiny when you first hold them in your arms. breastfeeding your tiny baby will be a sweet way to bond. You will be amazed of how great your baby will grow because of you. When your baby smiles at you, it will warm your heart to no end. Once you see and hold your baby, you will feel immense love for such a precious soul. God blessed you with this miracle for a reason. He trusts you to raise this precious little life. Please don’t throw this gift back at him. I just lost my baby and I would give so much to have him back. He never had the chance to develop into an embryo but he was loved by us nevertheless. I grieve immensely for him as well. I would give so much to be able to meet him and hold him… :’(
To see his big brown eyes (maybe like his big sister), feel his soft skin and hair… to hear his sweet newborn cry calling for mama…
oh gosh… i’m gonna cry again. sorry I do miss my baby. Your baby is your sweet little munchkin. Please protect him or her. I love and cherish my 15 month much more immensely now. I don’t ever want to take her precious self for granted. Right now she has long beautiful hair and the sweetest smile ever.
I’m praying for you. Ditch the loser and his family. You don’t need to be near their crazy poisonous selves.
 
MariaCA said:
I was debating with myself whether to post this under moral or here, but I think its more of a family issue for me really. I want to start by saying I’m pregnant and I have always been against termination, however, I find myself in a really difficult situation which just cannot be controlled. I should also say that adoption is definitely not an option for me, its great if you can do that, I can’t and won’t consider it.

I guess to make the issue short as possible, myself and the father planned this baby and we loved it so, so much, I knew his mom wouldn’t be happy as we are not married, but we were both happy and we made a decision. His mom has never liked me, although I have done nothing but be pleasant and polite to her over the last several years, although now I have had to ask that she never contacts me again due to some harassing emails about my being pregnant. So the father told his mom that we were expecting and she was not happy, not at all. Questioning why we did it, saying it wasn’t right, and questioning her sons love for me. As a side I should mention shes very controlling of him and I have spoken to professionals and people in the catholic church, all who say that her behavior is abusive toward him, but he will never understand or see that. I won’t go into it all here as it isn’t appropriate but its manipulative.

Since he told her, he decided he wanted nothing to do with me of his baby, and has been really mean, to put it in a nice way, towards me, when I said I would raise my own baby him and his family called me selfish. He says he won’t go to any scans or support my pregnancy because he doesn’t want to get attached to the baby.This has gone on so long, and he isn’t willing to get help or to talk to anyone unless it suits his purpose i.e. telling me I am selfish which nobody will. I have looked to the church for help and they confirm the position about his mom, I have prayed, I have cried and I am really tired. I am considering a termination now, even though I can’t even type the word without crying. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn’t want to understand how I feel. I pray for him to break free of the situation he is in, I really do, but I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I am losing everything, even my faith right now.

I’v tried to keep that as short as possible, I could write a book if the truth be told on it, if anyone has anything to say I would appreciate it so much, its really hard feeling this way.
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Maria, the creation of a baby is NOT an expression of love between a couple, to be aborted if that couple has a falling out. So while the guy’s mother may be right that you should have been married before considering such an endeavor, you do NOT do right to terminate a child after the fact.

God has blessed you by entrusting a HUMAN LIFE into your hands. That responsibility is irrevocable, both to you and to the father. In other words, you cannot shirk your responsibility, though you can fail it catastrophically by going through with this idea of taking a human life simply because the father of the child SAYS he will intentionally fail in his duties to the child. The fact that the father of the child isn’t caring about the fate of the life that God has entrusted to him says that he’s in no better place to be judgemental (nor his mother, if she doesn’t care about the life of this child as well!).

Furthermore, while the father might SAY that he has no responsibility for the child, the reality is quite different than that: he is the father, entrusted to the role by God, and that much is backed by secular law. The next time he says that he will have no part in the child’s life, I would respond by telling him you’ll see him in court for child support, since real men are required to provide for their progeny (and explain to him that a child given by God is entrusted to BOTH parents, not just the mother and that there is no way for him to ACTUALLY escape his moral duty to his child without consequence).
 
You should keep the baby. Abortion is wrong on so many levels. Just remember that there are hotlines for you to call, and people in churches that would be willing to help you out with your pregnancy. If you decide not to keep it, then you should consider adoption. Maybe you can try looking for people you would find fit to become the parents to your child? I know it’s hard, but that baby inside of you exists for a reason, don’t deem him/her worthless, because they’re not.
 
I wish I could give you a hug right now. I am so sorry that you have had to go through such a terrible ordeal. I know a little of what it is like to fear the birth of a child, for very different reasons (I have 6 and didn’t know how I could possibly cope - silly me!)

Know this: Every child is a gift from God. Every single one. A child is not a reward for good behaviour, it’s a gift. God gives you a child for your own good.

Take God’s gift and allow your little one to change your life for the better.

A gift is only worthwhile if you accept it and use it as it was intended. I pray that you can feel love for your baby straight away, but even if you don’t feel it, it doesn’t mean you don’t love him/her. And remind yourself that your baby loves you and is relying on you to look after his/her best interests.

Your life will change no matter what, you get to decide how - are you going to rise to the challenge, trust God and dive in head first? Each of us has hard decisions to make (some harder than others), but hang on tight to the Mother’s mantle, trust, trust, trust and you’ll be right.

God bless you and your dear little one.
 
Dear Maria,
here is another crisis pregnancy center phone number: 1-800-550-4900, it’s birthright.com.
They are compassionate women who will walk alongside you and help you make the right decision, without pressure or guilt trips. They can help you find resources in your community.
I raised 2 boys as a single parent, without help from either their father or my parents. I had a smidgen of help from my church, but it was more moral support.
They are now both loving young adults, one is married, the other has a steady girlfriend, and they are beautiful people that make me happy to be around them. I get chills when I think that I might have aborted one of them; the world would be a much poorer place if that had happened.
I liked having kids so much that my 2nd husband and I adopted 2 more, who are now teenagers, and great kids.
I’m praying for you and your baby. He or she will be the best thing that has happened to you. But you need to get the support you need from friends, family and church.
 
I see this is an old thread, but to those who have posted in the last few days, the OP gave an update on a more recent thread:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=700618

The Moderator closed the thread saying she was getting help offline. Please God look after this lady and her baby, and all those women in the world going through crisis pregnancies.
 
Wow. What a sad story. I hope the help that she got offline is working out for her.
 
I have several friends who have had abortions – some up to 20 years ago-- who still feel tremendous guilt and still cry over their choice to murder their defenseless baby. I beg you not to make that an option. Please talk to someone who is better equipped to help you make a good choice for both you and your baby. I will be praying for you both!
 
Maria…I ask you from the bottom of my heart not to abort you baby. I MADE THAT HORRIFIC CHOICE 28 YEARS AGO AND MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME. I just wrote this very long response and it did not go through, so I will write a short one and if you respond, I would give ANYTHING to discuss this with you. No one on this forum should call this murder and I am so sorry that they have because we need to be peaceful here. When I made that fatal mistake 28 years ago, someone outside the clinic screamed that to me and it made me run to the elevator even faster. It’s a long story, but my story sounds similiar. I did eventually marry the baby’s dad and we have had three children, but the abortion has wreaked such havoc in our lives, our marriage, our children’s lives. His family was just awful to me also, and 30 years later are actually even worse. So much destruction has happened, including the guilt of that horrific decision, including my health. I have a debilitating case of fibromyalgia…I am in constant pain and this has been for 16 years. I am certain that the root of this illness goes back to the abortion. It took many years to discover this. I’d love to talk to you if you would be open to that. I will do whatever it takes, will listen to all of what you have to say with great love and respect. Please give me a chance. My prayers are with you…🙂
 
dot627 said:
Maria…I ask you from the bottom of my heart not to abort you baby. I MADE THAT HORRIFIC CHOICE 28 YEARS AGO AND MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME. I just wrote this very long response and it did not go through, so I will write a short one and if you respond, I would give ANYTHING to discuss this with you. No one on this forum should call this murder and I am so sorry that they have because we need to be peaceful here. When I made that fatal mistake 28 years ago, someone outside the clinic screamed that to me and it made me run to the elevator even faster. It’s a long story, but my story sounds similiar. I did eventually marry the baby’s dad and we have had three children, but the abortion has wreaked such havoc in our lives, our marriage, our children’s lives. His family was just awful to me also, and 30 years later are actually even worse. So much destruction has happened, including the guilt of that horrific decision, including my health. I have a debilitating case of fibromyalgia…I am in constant pain and this has been for 16 years. I am certain that the root of this illness goes back to the abortion. It took many years to discover this. I’d love to talk to you if you would be open to that. I will do whatever it takes, will listen to all of what you have to say with great love and respect. Please give me a chance. My prayers are with you…🙂
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Your post brought tears to my eyes…All of it is true, my sister still carries that guilt from nearly 40 years ago. I have offered to pay for her to go to a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat but she probably won’t take me up on my offer. She tells me she hasn’t cried in over 30 years and wishes that she could, but is afraid she could not stop if she started.

I am praying for Maria, that she got the help she needed and that her baby is growing and is safely inside her womb. Praying for you too.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Your post brought tears to my eyes…All of it is true, my sister still carries that guilt from nearly 40 years ago. I have offered to pay for her to go to a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat but she probably won’t take me up on my offer. She tells me she hasn’t cried in over 30 years and wishes that she could, but is afraid she could not stop if she started.

I am praying for Maria, that she got the help she needed and that her baby is growing and is safely inside her womb. Praying for you too.
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Juliane…thank you for your prayers and I just pray that Maria hears my cry. I did attend a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat last year and the women there were 25, 26, 27 years post abortive and we have all suffered from multiple health issues, marriage issues, etc. The retreat was so much greater than I could have ever anticipated. Please encourage your sister…or talk to me. I’d be so happy to…everyone in the group was startled at how healing it was and how wonderful the program was as well as how well it was facilitated. I could go on and on…

God Bless you and your sister…🙂
 
MariaCA said:
I was debating with myself whether to post this under moral or here, but I think its more of a family issue for me really. I want to start by saying I’m pregnant and I have always been against termination, however, I find myself in a really difficult situation which just cannot be controlled. I should also say that adoption is definitely not an option for me, its great if you can do that, I can’t and won’t consider it.

I guess to make the issue short as possible, myself and the father planned this baby and we loved it so, so much, I knew his mom wouldn’t be happy as we are not married, but we were both happy and we made a decision. His mom has never liked me, although I have done nothing but be pleasant and polite to her over the last several years, although now I have had to ask that she never contacts me again due to some harassing emails about my being pregnant. So the father told his mom that we were expecting and she was not happy, not at all. Questioning why we did it, saying it wasn’t right, and questioning her sons love for me. As a side I should mention shes very controlling of him and I have spoken to professionals and people in the catholic church, all who say that her behavior is abusive toward him, but he will never understand or see that. I won’t go into it all here as it isn’t appropriate but its manipulative.

Since he told her, he decided he wanted nothing to do with me of his baby, and has been really mean, to put it in a nice way, towards me, when I said I would raise my own baby him and his family called me selfish. He says he won’t go to any scans or support my pregnancy because he doesn’t want to get attached to the baby.This has gone on so long, and he isn’t willing to get help or to talk to anyone unless it suits his purpose i.e. telling me I am selfish which nobody will. I have looked to the church for help and they confirm the position about his mom, I have prayed, I have cried and I am really tired. I am considering a termination now, even though I can’t even type the word without crying. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn’t want to understand how I feel. I pray for him to break free of the situation he is in, I really do, but I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I am losing everything, even my faith right now.

I’v tried to keep that as short as possible, I could write a book if the truth be told on it, if anyone has anything to say I would appreciate it so much, its really hard feeling this way.
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Don’t abort your baby. There are other options like giving your child up for adoption. I’m not sure why adoption is not an option.
 
You say that you and your boy friend planned this baby. I guess a lot of women don’t realize that they should at least be married before they plan to have a baby. I think you’re lucky that you didn’t marry him - at least now you know what a jerk he is.

I can’t imagine why you would want to kill a baby that you deliberately planned. I realize that it is very hard to raise a baby by yourself. Have you ever read the threads on this forum where women are heartbroken because they have tried to have a baby for years and couldn’t get pregnant?

If you really can’t raise the baby yourself, what would be wrong with adoption? There are many women out there who would love to have your baby.

I believe that adoption has changed over the years. I think it is even possible to have a kind of open adoption where you get to communicate with the baby now and then.

Have you read the book about Steve Jobs? He was the son of a single mother, and he states that he is glad that his mother didn’t have an abortion.

Just think! If his mother had an abortion, there might not be any iPads or iPhones!
 
I’m sending you a HUGE hug right now! I agree with the others that say that making the decision to terminate this life will have never ending consequences for you. The pain and regret will be with you for the rest of your days. Of course, this is because we know that it is wrong. Project Rachel deals with women who regret their decision to terminate life everyday. You may want to look at their site and see how women really feel after an abortion. It doesn’t solve a “problem” it only creates a new one. hopeafterabortion.com/?page_id=18

I just want to say that even though the situation is not ideal, there is a reason you’re pregnant. Because God wants the life inside of you to live. It’s not a decision to be made.

The pain you’re experiencing is deep. I understand that the hurt you feel from your boyfriend turning his back on you is heartbreaking. His character is questionable, and his actions are wrong. I pray that he will turn around and love his child. In the mean time, you must focus on the life growing inside of you and whether you are ready or not, you have become a mother.

Blessings to you, and to your little one. And also to the baby’s father.
 
I’m about 5000 miles away from Maria but I really want this baby to survive:gopray:
 
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