Should I marry a non-catholic or be single forever?

  • Thread starter Thread starter DivineMercy01
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
tuffsmurf said:
You can’t get an annulment if your spouse gets depressed any more than you can get it if your spouse would get ALS or cancer.
Click to expand...
Sure you can. Not for those conditions, per se, but I know people who have received a decree of nullity after their spouse was diagnosed with depression and ALS.
 
If theses conditions appear after marriage, it cannot be a reason for nullity. It is just one of the burden or struggle that married life may have.
 
Canon Law ALLOWS Catholics to marry non-Catholics, and all you need to do is to get a dispensation from the local bishop. Now, before the marriage is recognized by the Church, you two will have to go through the pre-marriage course together, and he will have to promise to respect your faith AND allow you to raise your children as Catholics. So my answer is, go ahead if you think you found the right man.

Also, the deacon at my previous parish was married to an atheist. After marrying him, she was later drawn to God and eventually became Catholic, and she has stayed that way until she passed away a few years ago. So you never know. Perhaps the right person God chooses for you isn’t Catholic yet, but may well turn into one later down the road. People can change. I was once stubbornly anti-Christian and thought of it as an evil, intolerant religion, and wished Buddhism take over. But God miraculously guided me toward the right direction, despite my hateful attitudes toward Christianity before.
 
DivineMercy01 said:
… I feel strongly called to the vocation of marriage. After years of praying about my vocation, I know God wants me to be married to someone who loves the Catholic Church as much as I do. I cannot imagine being married to a fallen away Catholic, nor a non-Catholic. …

Any thoughts would be appreciated! Thank you.
Click to expand...
Single life is recommended as well as Holy Orders or Matrimony. Not all can marry validly.

Matthew 19​

12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”
Click to expand...

1 Corinthians 7​

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; 33 but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
new-kirishitan said:
Also, the deacon at my previous parish was married to an atheist.
Click to expand...
The Catholic church doesn’t have female deacons.
From the USCCB:
In the Catholic Church, the diaconate is the first of three ranks in ordained ministry. Deacons preparing for the priesthood are transitional deacons . Those not planning to be ordained priests are called permanent deacons . Married men may be ordained permanent deacons, and single men may be ordained with a commitment to celibacy."
http://www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/vocations/diaconate/index.cfm
 
He was married way before he became a deacon. And then his wife passed away after he was ordained, which is why he decided to go back to the seminary and he’ll become a priest this summer.
 
My apologies, I misunderstood.
May God bless him and those in his care.
Amen.
 
new-kirishitan said:
he will have to promise to respect your faith
Click to expand...
Actually, no we don’t. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of this.

With that said, it’s kind of a no brainer…and a two way street.
new-kirishitan said:
allow you to raise your children as Catholics.
Click to expand...
It could be parish by parish, but his promise is also not a required promise. We are made known of the Catholics written promise “to do the best they can” to raise the Children Catholic.
 
If anything it speaks of their pure interest in photos and physical attractiveness.
 
There is a legitimate question here if you’re really doing all you can to discern a spouse, since you haven’t tried a Catholic dating site iirc. There is that stigma about misrepresentation and desperation; but it’s really not different from asking for someone’s phone number, with the bonus of knowing off the bat that they are Catholic, looking, and faithful to the church.
 
By choice to serve a specific purpose. An unconsecrated single person who is single by default is not the same as by choice.
 
Neithan said:
There is that stigma about misrepresentation and desperation; but it’s really not different from asking for someone’s phone number, with the bonus of knowing off the bat that they are Catholic, looking, and faithful to the church.
Click to expand...
I’ve already stated I don’t really care about the desperation stigma. It’s the misrepresentation I would be a little more concerned about and I disagree that it is not different from asking for someone’s phone number in real life. In life, people can’t really lie about their age, height, etc. I suppose they could lie about their intentions, but if you know them in real life you probably know people in common who can confirm the facts.

However, that was part of my moral dilemma-asking myself if I had really done all that I could to put myself out there. I have stated my fear of traveling to conferences and going places “just to meet someone” as there is a moral issue there as well: going somewhere just for the sake of possibly meeting someone.
 
Last edited:
Okay, if that was something you experienced and you now have a suspicion. It can also happen in other ways, though, not just appearances. Unless you mean someone you actually know or are introduced to, rather than cold approaching a stranger. I’ve never encountered misrep from online personally, and only saw some of those profiles (which seem pretty obvious) on secular sites; it tends to be people who are into the hook-up scene, for obvious reasons.

Not sure about conferences. Singles conferences? It seems like setting yourself up for disappointment if you travel and meet someone for the first time without any prior contact.
 
Neithan said:
Okay, if that was something you experienced and you now have a suspicion.
Click to expand...
I did experience it over the course of over 100 first dates on various platforms. Friends of mine have experienced it on Catholic sites.
Neithan said:
Not sure about conferences. Singles conferences? It seems like setting yourself up for disappointment if you travel and meet someone for the first time without any prior contact.
Click to expand...
Any Catholic conferences. I’ve stated above that I always think about going to one and immediately my mind goes to “I could meet someone” and then I don’t go because I don’t think my intentions are pure.
 
DivineMercy01 said:
I’ve stated above that I always think about going to one and immediately my mind goes to “I could meet someone” and then I don’t go because I don’t think my intentions are pure.
Click to expand...
It’s not impure to want to find a spouse. You’re avoiding meeting other Catholics because you want to meet another Catholic. 🙂
 
Neithan said:
It’s not impure to want to find a spouse. You’re avoiding meeting other Catholics because you want to meet another Catholic. 🙂
Click to expand...
True that it is not impure to want to find a spouse. I find it impure to use a conference that was created for the sake of something else (like a Marian conference) to find a spouse.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top