Should I send something like this?

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SomeCatholicGuy

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I asked this girl out to dinner about 3 weeks ago, and haven’t heard from her, neither did I try to contact her again. I’m thinking of sending her this as a last attempt. Please let me know what you think.

Hi xxx,

How are you? I get the feeling that you are on the fence about seeing me again; normally I would just let it go, but I wanted to be open and honest with you. Even though we’ve seen each other only a few times, I felt that we really connected, and we share the same values and goals in life. I hope that you will share your thoughts with me, and perhaps I can be of some help. In any case, I wanted to thank you for giving me the chance to get to know a great girl like you. I hope you are well, and may God bless you richly always.

Take care,

xxx

Does it sound a little too over the top? Basically, I’m trying to say that if there’s a chance to work it out, I’m game; otherwise, best of luck to you.

Thank you in advance!
 
Sounds a bit much.

How about you call her, say “hey, wanna go to the movies on Saturday?” If she says yes, then, go. If she says no, then say “okay, thanks - should I bother to call again?” and then go with what she says.

No need to send a formal business like email. Call her.
 
Have you tried calling her? I may be old fashioned, but most of the women I know would expect the man to follow up after a date.

Moreover, most of the women I know would expect a phone call, not an e-mail or a text message.

However, I am almost to the half-century mark and the dating/relationship world may be radically different now. But, even if it is, you don’t have to be. I think a phone call would be better.

My .02
 
I have tried calling her in the past, but I’ve never had much luck getting through to her, so most of the time I’ve had to leave a message, then she’d email me back. I’m afraid that’s what would happen if I tried to call her, and I’d never get an answer. At this point, I’d much rather she tell me that she’s no longer interested than being faded on. I have had some contact with her after our last date, but it went cold after I asked her out again. Another thing I wanted to mention is that I might be moving away in about 8 months, so perhaps she may be concerned about that, but I don’t know.
 
Ahhh, then, to borrow a phrase, she’s just not into you. Let it go, forego the swan song email.
 
kage_ar said:
Ahhh, then, to borrow a phrase, she’s just not into you. Let it go, forego the swan song email.
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I’m inclined to agree with you. It’s just really frustrating, because when she’s with me in person, she seems really interested. It’s probably just my personality, but I would feel much better if she just told me she’s not interested so that I can get some “closure.” That’s a big part of the reason why I was thinking of sending this email in the first place. What should I say instead to convey that?
 
SomeCatholicGuy said:
I have had some contact with her after our last date, but it went cold after I asked her out again.
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Sorry to say it, but you’ve got your answer already. A few random dates doesn’t usually qualify for closure. The email you’re considering just comes off as looking needy. Move along, other fish and all that. Good luck to ya!
 
CV81 said:
Sorry to say it, but you’ve got your answer already. A few random dates doesn’t usually qualify for closure. The email you’re considering just comes off as looking needy. Move along, other fish and all that. Good luck to ya!
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Yea, you’re probably right. The thing is, she’s done this before. I ask her out, no response, but 3-4 weeks later, she wants to see me again. Also, at the end of the last date, I asked her if wanted to do this again sometime, and she said definitely. I know I’m grasping at straws, but I guess sending a short and sweet email won’t do any harm. Something like this perhaps?

Hey xxx,

Do you still want to get together sometime? I hope you are well.

Take care,

xxx
 
I have nothing constructive to say in terms of the situation, but I’m going to have find out from your firsthand how you even got the first dates rolling. 😛 😃
 
SomeCatholicGuy said:
Yea, you’re probably right. The thing is, she’s done this before. I ask her out, no response, but 3-4 weeks later, she wants to see me again. Also, at the end of the last date, I asked her if wanted to do this again sometime, and she said definitely. I know I’m grasping at straws, but I guess sending a short and sweet email won’t do any harm. Something like this perhaps?

Hey xxx,

Do you still want to get together sometime? I hope you are well.

Take care,

xxx
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How about,
Hey xxx
I hope you are well

Take care
xxx

Why not back off, try to be her friend and see if it leads anywhere.
 
happymommy said:
How about,
Hey xxx
I hope you are well

Take care
xxx

Why not back off, try to be her friend and see if it leads anywhere.
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That sounds like a great idea! I think I’m going to just post this on her Facebook page:

Hey xxx! I hope you are well.

She’ll see it every time she signs on.
 
You can record yourself on her voice mail. Nothing like a confident male voice for them. I’ve abused this one thoroughly.

Your first e-mail wasn’t bad, but it’s a bit too forward for someone whom you don’t know to care or not. The second one wasn’t bad, either, more like it. Careful with the Facebook stuff, but obviously, if you have her on Facebook and she’s fine with that, that’s a sign you aren’t under the carpet, so to speak.

At any rate, don’t allow any uncertainty or fear to consume you. Step up and talk. Like a soldier. If she tells you no, worse things will happen in life yet.
 
chevalier said:
You can record yourself on her voice mail. Nothing like a confident male voice for them. I’ve abused this one thoroughly.

Your first e-mail wasn’t bad, but it’s a bit too forward for someone whom you don’t know to care or not. The second one wasn’t bad, either, more like it. Careful with the Facebook stuff, but obviously, if you have her on Facebook and she’s fine with that, that’s a sign you aren’t under the carpet, so to speak.

At any rate, don’t allow any uncertainty or fear to consume you. Step up and talk. Like a soldier. If she tells you no, worse things will happen in life yet.
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Amen… I am so not impressed if a guy asks me out via facebook or IM. Is this junior high? I think not. Both facebook and email are forms of communication that require the least amount of risk on your part; but hey, love is about taking risks! If this girl is worth dating, isn’t she worth you showing a bit of courage to ask her out?

But seriously, give her a call, and if she avoids you or isn’t interested, move on. And don’t let her keep stringing you along because she is not sure how she feels!
 
Thank you all for your responses. I just left a short and sweet message on her Facebook page. Didn’t ask her out again or anything. Like some posters said, I’m not going to beat a dead horse. If she wants to see me again, she’ll contact me. Moving on.
 
Don’t make her ask you out. She already has once. If you want to go out with her, you need to ask. If she reaplies to your message in a positive tone, then you can ask her, but just because she doesn’t propose going out doesn’t mean she won’t agree if you do.
 
chevalier said:
Don’t make her ask you out. She already has once. If you want to go out with her, you need to ask. If she reaplies to your message in a positive tone, then you can ask her, but just because she doesn’t propose going out doesn’t mean she won’t agree if you do.
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Actually, she’s asked me out more than once. This really sucks because I think she does like me, but is purposely holding back, because I might be moving away. First time she and I went out, I said that I was on the fence about applying to schools. Second time, I said I was in the process of applying. If I get in, I’d be gone in a little over 6 months, so I guess I can’t really blame her. I get the feeling that geographical distance definitely matters to her. When I brought this up on the second date, she started talking about her ideal living location in the future, where she would like to live eventually, but I thought it was way too early to talk about that, so I didn’t say anything.

Anyway, this also means that pretty much anybody that I start seeing now is going to decide to not to see me once I tell them that I might be moving away. Sucks.
 
Since you might be moving soon maybe you should focus on school and studies. It wouldnt be fair to her to start something then leave. It also might sway your decision to where you go to school and make a hasty decision becuase of this girl.
 
petitfleur said:
Since you might be moving soon maybe you should focus on school and studies. It wouldnt be fair to her to start something then leave. It also might sway your decision to where you go to school and make a hasty decision becuase of this girl.
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If that’s the case, what can I say to allay her concerns?
 
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