Should I send something like this?

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Not much. I wouldnt like a boy even a nice boy to start a relationship with my DD then move and possibly break her heartor expect her to stay in a long term relationship.
I think you need to sort out your plans before pursuing any relationship, both for her sake and yours. You might end up staying where you are just for this relationship and not pursuing your own dreams. I dont want you to regret anything either.
 
petitfleur said:
Not much. I wouldnt like a boy even a nice boy to start a relationship with my DD then move and possibly break her heartor expect her to stay in a long term relationship.
I think you need to sort out your plans before pursuing any relationship, both for her sake and yours. You might end up staying where you are just for this relationship and not pursuing your own dreams. I dont want you to regret anything either.
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Should I talk to her about it?
 
I think the letter is very sweet, but like others say…maybe much for this soon in the ‘relationship.’ I think that you need to meet women who are more mature than you’re meeting, dare I say? You seem very thoughtful, kind and generous…and the women you seem to be attracted to, seem to play these on and off games. (I remember another thread you started on this)

If a woman is ‘into’ you, you’d be planning your next date.😉 I’m a woman, and my husband didn’t have to send swan song emails to me to get me to respond (although we did break up for a short time, but that’s another story) lol

Send her something short and sweet…and then let it go…and if you don’t hear back from her…KEEP LOOKING. Don’t become exclusive with someone who isn’t doing the same, that’s my advice for the month. 😛

Good luck!
 
My take? Send the note, if she is going to see it as needy and doesn’t want to see you again… who cares AND you got your closure.

It seems we are always worried about the other person in a relationship. While we should we shouldn’t forget that we have feelings to.

Perhaps you tone down the wordyness a little but ask the same questions.

If you don’t get a response, then that is your response 😦 and move on.

Joe
 
ugh, I forgot you were moving away. Ok, use my advice for normal circumstances…

lol

But, if you’re moving, she could be a little skittish to getting too involved. That is a possibility.
 
Should I even try contacting her again? I don’t want to look like a stalker or something.
 
In your last post you said you already did. I think I would leave it.Seriously, you sound like you are rather young, smart and thoughtful. I really think youshould focus on your school and spiritual life. I found my DH when I STOPPED looking and focused on being the best person I could be. Trust that God has a plan for you.👍 If you contact her again you might make her uncomfortable.
 
SomeCatholicGuy said:
Should I even try contacting her again? I don’t want to look like a stalker or something.
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Grab the phone, ask if she would like to to go somewhere with you. Suggest a place or two when she agrees or when she asks where. Then if she fusses, she clearly isn’t all that into you. If a girl is into you, she accepts right off the bat or makes a counter-proposal.
 
she sounds too polite to walk you off a plank, but if you don’t get anything back besides a mono-syllable on facebook, you’ve been terminated.

there’s your closure.
 
petitfleur said:
In your last post you said you already did. I think I would leave it.Seriously, you sound like you are rather young, smart and thoughtful. I really think youshould focus on your school and spiritual life. I found my DH when I STOPPED looking and focused on being the best person I could be. Trust that God has a plan for you.👍 If you contact her again you might make her uncomfortable.
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I agree. It’s just that this really sucks, but it’s something that I got to deal with on my own.

Thanks for the advice, everyone.
 
OK, a little update on this. I deleted her on Facebook. But, it looks like I’m going to remain in the area, so sent her an email a week later saying that I’m going be in the area for the foreseeable future, and I asked her if she still wanted to get together sometime. I then tried to add her back again on Facebook several days later. Haven’t heard anything, but she hasn’t rejected my friend request on Facebook, either, and I’m pretty sure that she’s seen the friend request. If she doesn’t want to see me again, why won’t she just tell me, instead of leaving me hanging? Is she still trying to make up her mind, or is she just doing this for the heck of it? Argh!

I know that I need to let it go, but it really sucks to be ignored.
 
Did I get it right that you’ve just deleted her and then added her again? Can’t look very reasonable to her.
 
chevalier said:
Did I get it right that you’ve just deleted her and then added her again? Can’t look very reasonable to her.
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Yea, that’s what I did. I figured since she wasn’t responding, and I might be moving away, there was no point, so I deleted her. Then I found out that I’m going to stay in the area, so I sent her an email (on Valentine’s Day) to tell her and see if she still wanted to get together sometime. I added her again several days later. Now it seems as though she’s stopped updating her Facebook, but I don’t know if I’m the cause of that. It could be that she’s confused. Who knows.
 
This girl sounds like a jerk, or a tease.

Stay away.

In my experience, when a girl you like starts ignoring you, she’s not worth your time.

Trust me, I’ve been through it and its stupid, and sucks beyond belief.

If I were you, I’d adopt a “who cares?” attitude.
Seriously, the girl who did this to me was nice, but she led me around, not even thinking that I still liked her…like “wow” it was hard to believe… :rolleyes:

If you don’t think “Who cares” you’re going to go with your gut instinct and email her saying “You’re a jerk”

…don’t do that… 😃
 
SomeCatholicGuy said:
Yea, that’s what I did. I figured since she wasn’t responding, and I might be moving away, there was no point, so I deleted her. Then I found out that I’m going to stay in the area, so I sent her an email (on Valentine’s Day) to tell her and see if she still wanted to get together sometime. I added her again several days later. Now it seems as though she’s stopped updating her Facebook, but I don’t know if I’m the cause of that. It could be that she’s confused. Who knows.
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I think you’re focusing on it too much. In fact, I’m rather inclined to agree with Monicatholic above… it’s not good for you. You need to relax and unwind. More air, more space, less crowd, less brainsplitting. Apart from praying (which doesn’t mean forced piety), relax and take a deep breath. You really need some rest. And you need to accept the idea that that girl may very well not be for you or not want to you. It would be good to take her for face value and let her go without dissecting it. It won’t do anything good and, importantly, it will not give you any sensible conclusions because you just don’t have data. Some things are just outside your control. And some things turn out contrary to your wishes. That is a part of life. That is not something to blame yourself for. Put it in God’s hands and let go.
 
I agree with you guys, but it’s easier said than done, no? Anyway, my roommate went volunteering last night, and I knew that she might be there (she told me that she works those events), so I asked him that if he saw her there, tell her that I said hi. Turns out he did see her there, and he told her that he’s my roommate, she said that’s so funny. She was very busy, so she didn’t say anything else, but when my roommate got back, he said I should see her again, and I was like, well, it’s kinda up to her. Wondering if I should call her. At least she didn’t seem mad or annoyed at me.
 
SomeCatholicGuy said:
OK, a little update on this. I deleted her on Facebook. But, it looks like I’m going to remain in the area, so sent her an email a week later saying that I’m going be in the area for the foreseeable future, and I asked her if she still wanted to get together sometime. I then tried to add her back again on Facebook several days later. Haven’t heard anything, but she hasn’t rejected my friend request on Facebook, either, and I’m pretty sure that she’s seen the friend request. If she doesn’t want to see me again, why won’t she just tell me, instead of leaving me hanging? Is she still trying to make up her mind, or is she just doing this for the heck of it? Argh!

I know that I need to let it go, but it really sucks to be ignored.
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I don’t know what she could possibly be thinking/feeling… but really, maybe she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by spelling it out rather than just hoping you’ll walk away.

I know it is immature, but in my earlier dating days, I did the very same thing. I tried to be as non-responsive as possible to the VERY NICE but not-for-me men who pursued me. I was friendly, but distant and tried to not give any interested signs. I went through it really bad twice. One of the guys wouldn’t drop it, and even texted me “But I love you” after we’d only had two dates, when he heard I was dating my now-husband. It was awful and embarrassing for all of us. He called in the middle of the night, and I had to be very firm with him and we couldn’t be friends after that.

Truly, my friend… give her the benefit of the doubt. For whatever reaosn, it sounds like she is not interested. By not leaving it alone, you are forcing her into a confrontation that will be difficult for everyone.
 
Lerin said:
I don’t know what she could possibly be thinking/feeling… but really, maybe she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by spelling it out rather than just hoping you’ll walk away.

I know it is immature, but in my earlier dating days, I did the very same thing. I tried to be as non-responsive as possible to the VERY NICE but not-for-me men who pursued me. I was friendly, but distant and tried to not give any interested signs. I went through it really bad twice. One of the guys wouldn’t drop it, and even texted me “But I love you” after we’d only had two dates, when he heard I was dating my now-husband. It was awful and embarrassing for all of us. He called in the middle of the night, and I had to be very firm with him and we couldn’t be friends after that.

Truly, my friend… give her the benefit of the doubt. For whatever reaosn, it sounds like she is not interested. By not leaving it alone, you are forcing her into a confrontation that will be difficult for everyone.
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See, this is what I don’t understand. During the date, she seemed really interested, and even at the end of the date, she still seemed interested. I asked her out again at the end of the date, and she said yes, and even said she’d keep in touch before she saw me the next time, which she did, a couple of times. If she’s not interested, why would she lead me on like that?
 
SomeCatholicGuy said:
See, this is what I don’t understand. During the date, she seemed really interested, and even at the end of the date, she still seemed interested. I asked her out again at the end of the date, and she said yes, and even said she’d keep in touch before she saw me the next time, which she did, a couple of times. If she’s not interested, why would she lead me on like that?
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Ah, I see. But the answer to why… I really don’t know.

Just from my perspective and my advice to you would be, leave it be. There are SO many other women out there, and it really shouldn’t be this hard. You know?
 
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