What I meant is talk to her specifically to avoid unspoken problems. If something bothers you, and it’s clear her actions and reactions bother you because she isn’t being particularly consistent or understandable, you need to ask her about it instead of letting it grow and fester.
Thank you, whatevergirl. I sure hope you’re right! I think it is probably the pride talking. Her email sounded almost exactly like mine when I got upset with her when she canceled. It sounded nice enough but was left open-ended. I wish I could talk to her openly like chevalier suggested, but I’m afraid that would further complicate things. I think I will bring them up later if things progress, but right now, I think I’ll stick to enjoying spending time with her, if it happens. The take-away from all this is to keep my big mouth shut, and don’t bring up things like moving until it needs to be discussed.Okay, all of this makes perfect sense now, CatholicGuy. Ok. In the beginning stages of dating, there are no ground rules, or any pre-conceived notions of how things should go…it either flows or it doesn’t. Getting to know someone you like, shouldn’t be ‘work.’ You have a job I presume, and you don’t need another one. That being said, it DID seem like things were flowing, albeit you got frustrated now and again (pride) but things seem to move back on track. I really think the monkey wrench came in when you told her you were thinking of moving away…I don’t blame her for backing off at that stage. I mean, why get involved with someone who might be leaving?
Now, it sounds like things are back on track. Just get back into the flow, and see where it leads. Again, if it starts to feel like work or a job…don’t continue with someone. That is often a sign that you don’t fit well together.
I think things will get back on track here…just don’t get too worried…if it’s meant to be, God will make it all work out–I believe this. God bless.
I don’t see anything wrong with just having a heart to heart with her…I think it’s time to do so…the worst she can do is not want to see you…that’s it. And I’d rather know where I stand with someone, that anymore guessing games, you know? I am in sales and marketing, and rejection is very common for me. lol The worst thing that can happen is she doesn’t feel what you do, and tells you. Is that the end of the world, really? No. It’s not. I would just go for it, and ask her if she has feelings for you, say FIRST that you have feelings for her…you are sorry for saying you were moving when you ended up not moving, etc…and just see what happens. This is what manhood is about, standing up for what you want. Go for it.
You have my blessing…
I don’t get what went so wrong here.
I reread a few posts up, and is it because you got angry that one time over her cancelling??? Oh well…I’d let it go…it just sounded like things were going well. 
Who knows. Maybe it’s because I asked in my email if she was applying to schools in the area or elsewhere; maybe she found someone else; maybe she’s just not interested anymore; maybe it’s because the planets aren’t perfectly aligned. In any case, I’ve done all that I can, so there’s no need to dwell on why, and I’m letting it go. Thanks again for all the help!I don’t get what went so wrong here.
I may be completely misreading the situation, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I submit she might have felt just a bit pressured about the whole situation. If I am on the fence about whether I like a guy simply because I don’t know him well, there is nothing that kills it for me faster than feeling pressured to decide. Perhaps I am completely unromantic to say I believe the best basis for a relationship is a real respect and genuine caring for one another that comes through friendship, not through going out to dinner and coffee a couple of times. Honestly I hate to be taken out to a really nice restaurant by a guy I do not know that well. I mean, would you want a girl to kiss you goodnight because she really genuinely cares for you just as much as you care for her, or because she feels a little beholden to you because you just spent $100 on a nice dinner? How unromantic…
Dating like that is a game, and personally it’s a game I hate to play!
Well the more experience I gain the less I care for the game. There is certainly no prize for being the most experienced, nor, I think, does it necessarily increase your chance of winning the game!
Really, there is nothing more useless than experience for the sake of experience.You may very well be right, but there’s nothing more I can do, without appearing obsessive. In any case, the ball is squarely in her court, and if she wants to see me, she will let me know. I will leave it at that.I may be completely misreading the situation, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I submit she might have felt just a bit pressured about the whole situation. If I am on the fence about whether I like a guy simply because I don’t know him well, there is nothing that kills it for me faster than feeling pressured to decide. Perhaps I am completely unromantic to say I believe the best basis for a relationship is a real respect and genuine caring for one another that comes through friendship, not through going out to dinner and coffee a couple of times. Honestly I hate to be taken out to a really nice restaurant by a guy I do not know that well. I mean, would you want a girl to kiss you goodnight because she really genuinely cares for you just as much as you care for her, or because she feels a little beholden to you because you just spent $100 on a nice dinner? How unromantic…
It seems like you have moved on, but perhaps for the next girl… get to know her, ask her to hang out with your friends, get to know her friends… and let her find out what an amazing, genuine guy you are before you take her out to that really nice dinner! But hey, what do I know?
“Leave” is a good word. Move on. If she wants to catch up, she will.
:nope: :doh2::blushing:
LOL believe it or not I actually did that once. I was in an eerily similar situation as the OP at that time.If you don’t think “Who cares” you’re going to go with your gut instinct and email her saying “You’re a jerk”
…don’t do that…
The prize is the successful conquest of the girl! Experience allows you to speak better and make wiser decisions with the girl.
Which is worthless if it conceals what you really are. The need to be honest overrides the need for conquest.
If by experience you mean learning how not to be too possessive of one another, or learning to have enough confidence to ask the girl out, than these are alright lessons to learn, but I think they can also be learned simply by growing up a bit. If, on the other hand, experience means having dated a lot of girls just to have dated them, and knowing how best to manipulate them, than any decent girl would be completely turned off by an “experienced” man. Well, at least I am completely turned off by such experience, and I consider myself a decent girl.