I would refrain from saying anything to your husband without her permission. I would tell her you both care about both of them and would do anything to help if there is anything they need to let you know. Sometimes talking things out helps people to work through their thinking and make decisions.
I would absolutely tell your husband. You two are one flesh. You can tell him in confidence, but do not keep secrets. It should be assumed that sharing something with someone who is married is sharing it with the couple.
I disagree. This was told to her in confidence. And the SIL apparently really needs someone to confide in! The OP is not keeping something from her husband but keeping someone else’s confidence and request for counsel or prayer.
Depends. I have worked in fields where that is not the case at all.
If this is the case, you ought to always disclose this before allowing another family member to tell you her secrets. It is entirely fair to have a personal policy that you don’t keep secrets from your spouse that the law doesn’t require you to keep–your personal policy, for instance, would still not ethically allow you to divulge privileged information to your spouse that you learned as a physician or a lawyer–but if someone cannot trust you to keep a confidence, it is unfair to let them spill their guts while implying that they can. (They ought to know the conditions under which the law would require you to report…)
I hope you share this with your friends before they open up to you. Your friends have the right to know that their confidences will not be respected by you.
I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a lack of respect, except that they may not have the same assumptions she has. If she and all her friends operate under the same assumption, though, none of them would consider it disrespectful to share confidences with their spouses, provided of course that they know their spouses to be capable of keeping these confidences and remember to tell the spouses that this information is confidential.
They are one flesh, they are not one person, perhaps some need to remember that. They will not stand before God as a married couple, each is responsible for his own actions and choices, each has his own conscience and soul. I totally disagree with your assertion that this person should just go ahead and break the confidence of another without their permission or without just cause (such as criminal behavior, physical danger, etc.).
To the OP: You said,
She did not tell you that you can share it with your husband. Therefore I would respect her confidence and not share it.
I totally agree with you that it isn’t okay to keep secrets from your spouse. However, my question is: If someone said something in confidence to you, and it presents no real purpose in telling your spouse, wouldn’t it be considered gossip? I absolutely think that if something is serious (ex: someone confides something that can potentially put a strain on you, your marriage, family etc…) then it is worth letting your spouse know so they may help you carry the burden of knowing and possibly give advice if needed. However, if a friend opened up to you about some embarrassing hardship, illness, or anguish and they need someone to turn to, don’t we have the Christian responsibility to hold their confidence?
What someone tells me, they’re telling my wife as well. It’s just how it is.
If someone told me something not very nice about a person, I would not repeat it to my husband. For one thing, it might be untrue, and for another thing, I don’t need to be spreading gossip around about other people, even if it is true and even if it is my husband. That does not make it any better or less sinful.
When I was working in the hospital, people we both knew would come in and I never breathed a word to my husband that I had even seen them unless they told me to tell him hello, and I would always ask their permission.I don’t know what a HIPPA regulation is, but if one threatened to disrupt the trust between my wife and I, HIPPA would be out the door. Our bond supersedes all others, no exceptions.If someone told me something not very nice about a person, I would not repeat it to my husband. For one thing, it might be untrue, and for another thing, I don’t need to be spreading gossip around about other people, even if it is true and even if it is my husband. That does not make it any better or less sinful.
Also, if you work where there are HIPPA regulations, I would hope you did not tell your wife confidential information.
This. In most cases. And if I tell someone something I assume they’re telling their spouses too. Unless explicitly told otherwise, I talk to my wife and she talks to me.