Should i tell my Mother?

[rexy125]

Hello everyone, i’m new to this forum. I’m guilty of mortal sin going back almost a year.
I did something unacceptable and shameful.
At the time, i was in a heavility intoxicated state and thus i was acting totally out of character, however i realise that is no excuse whatsover and my behaviour was wholly unacceptable.

Everything has recently just hit me like a ton of bricks and i don’t know what to do. I’ve been neglecting my Catholic faith and God for years but now i need to repent and seek forgiveness. I’m planning on going to Confessions very soon and i’m going to make an appointment for a private confession with a Priest.

I don’t know whether to confess everything to my Mother or not. As a devoted Catholic, what i’ve done goes against everything she stands for but at the same time, i feel she has a right to know and me keeping something so serious from her doesn’t sit right with me either. If i tell her, i know she’ll appreciate my honesty and know i’m very sorry and will offer me good advice but at the same time, i’m very scared as to what her reaction will be? As i say, she’s a devoted Catholic and i’ve really let her down.

Please give me advice on what to do people? Thank you!!

 

[1ke]

Confess in the sacrament of reconciliation to your priest, NOT to your mother.

That will serve no purpose but to upset her and probably worry her or hurt her. If you want to confess something to your mother, confess the happy news that you are resuming the practice of your faith. The current penchant for tellling on all TV to the whole world has confused people. NO you do not tell your mother all your sordid sins.

 

[Zekariya]

Hello everyone, i’m new to this forum. I’m guilty of mortal sin going back almost a year.
I did something unacceptable and shameful.
At the time, i was in a heavility intoxicated state and thus i was acting totally out of character, however i realise that is no excuse whatsover and my behaviour was wholly unacceptable.

Everything has recently just hit me like a ton of bricks and i don’t know what to do. I’ve been neglecting my Catholic faith and God for years but now i need to repent and seek forgiveness. I’m planning on going to Confessions very soon and i’m going to make an appointment for a private confession with a Priest.

I don’t know whether to confess everything to my Mother or not. As a devoted Catholic, what i’ve done goes against everything she stands for but at the same time, i feel she has a right to know and me keeping something so serious from her doesn’t sit right with me either. If i tell her, i know she’ll appreciate my honesty and know i’m very sorry and will offer me good advice but at the same time, i’m very scared as to what her reaction will be? As i say, she’s a devoted Catholic and i’ve really let her down.

Please give me advice on what to do people? Thank you!!

To to confession and also tell your mother. The way that you described her, it sounds like she can be of good help in your walk in the faith.

 

[rexy125]

Confess in the sacrament of reconciliation to your priest, NOT to your mother.

That will serve no purpose but to upset her and probably worry her or hurt her. If you want to confess something to your mother, confess the happy news that you are resuming the practice of your faith. The current penchant for tellling on all TV to the whole world has confused people. NO you do not tell your mother all your sordid sins.

Thanks for your reply. I understand what you’re saying and first and foremost, i will go to confessions and hopefully i will feel better after that.

In saying that, i still hate the thought of keeping something like this from my Mother, i know if i tell her she will be really hurt and upset but know that i’m a good person who happened to make one really bad mistake and i’ve now seen the light.
My heart is telling me to confess to her, while my head is telling me not to.

 

[rexy125]

To to confession and also tell your mother. The way that you described her, it sounds like she can be of good help in your walk in the faith.

Thanks for your reply.

Yes she will be of good help, she always is, but this time i’m worried this will be too much for her. I really dont know I dont want to be selfish and just think if i tell her i’ll feel i’ve gotten everything off my chest without thinking of the effect it will have on her.
Someone who’s always preached the importance of being a good Catholic and following God’s way.

 

[1ke]

Thanks for your reply. I understand what you’re saying and first and foremost, i will go to confessions and hopefully i will feel better after that.

In saying that, i still hate the thought of keeping something like this from my Mother, i know if i tell her she will be really hurt and upset but know that i’m a good person who happened to make one really bad mistake and i’ve now seen the light.
My heart is telling me to confess to her, while my head is telling me not to.

what is the purpose of telling her?

I think this is a selfish thing to do. It serves NO purpose but to upset her in attempt to make yourself “feel” better.

Go to confession with a priest, not your mother.

 

[rexy125]

what is the purpose of telling her?

I think this is a selfish thing to do. It serves NO purpose but to upset her in attempt to make yourself “feel” better.

Go to confession with a priest, not your mother.

I understand where you’re coming from.

However, i would tell her because she’s the most important person in my life and i need her to help me through a difficult time. I need her support and advice and for her to know how sorry i am for what i did.

Whenever i’m doing something bad (although not on this scale)before i’ve always told my Mother. We’re very close and i don’t like keeping such a lie from her. I really understand your reservations though but i cant help but feel she needs to know - even after i go to Confessions.

Can others please give me advice on what to do here?

 

[Irishmom2]

what is the purpose of telling her?

I think this is a selfish thing to do. It serves NO purpose but to upset her in attempt to make yourself “feel” better.

Go to confession with a priest, not your mother.

I was going to say this, but now I don’t have to.

At least wait until after you go to confession to decide whether to tell her or not.

Because God forgives you for what you have done, and you didn’t do this thing to your mother, I don’t see the point of telling her. Sometimes, you just have to live with your mistakes and not make someone else feel bad.

 

[dshix]

I understand where you’re coming from here.

However, i would tell her because she’s the most important person in my life and i need her to help me through a difficult time. I need her support and advice and for her to know how sorry i am for what i did.

Can others please give me advice on what to do here?

If it not a problem for your privacy concerns, could you tell us your age range? If you are 14 or 15, it probably would be a good idea to tell your mother, considering that she will still be your parent for a few more years, and should know where you are.

However, if you are in your twenties or older, it may or may not be a good idea to tell her of this.

 

[Hat4]

what is the purpose of telling her?

I think this is a selfish thing to do. It serves NO purpose but to upset her in attempt to make yourself “feel” better.

Go to confession with a priest, not your mother.

I’m afraid this is correct. If it is not something she needs to know then you are going to upset her for the sake of assuaging your conscience. The first question is the most important, what is the purpose of telling her? Will it help her in some way?

 

[Zekariya]

Thanks for your reply.

Yes she will be of good help, she always is, but this time i’m worried this will be too much for her. I really dont know I dont want to be selfish and just think if i tell her i’ll feel i’ve gotten everything off my chest without thinking of the effect it will have on her.
Someone who’s always preached the importance of being a good Catholic and following God’s way.

It might not be wise to tell her if it will only weigh her down. I do know, from my own experience, that after I told my parents of a recurring grave sin, I received help from them that I couldn’t receive anywhere else. If this is just a sin of the past, then I don’t see any need to tell your mom.

 

[cradlecatholic5]

Please go to a priest.

It would serve no purpose to tell your Mom.

Hugs to you

 

[rexy125]

I was going to say this, but now I don’t have to.

At least wait until after you go to confession to decide whether to tell her or not.

Because God forgives you for what you have done, and you didn’t do this thing to your mother, I don’t see the point of telling her. Sometimes, you just have to live with your mistakes and not make someone else feel bad.

Ok. But if i get in trouble for what i’ve done and she hadn’t her heard my side of the story, that would be even worse. I really do understand everyones arguements against telling her and i’ve taken them on board.

I guess it’s best if i go to Confessions and take it from there.

Ps - i’m in my 20s.

 

[JRKH]

Thanks for your reply. I understand what you’re saying and first and foremost, i will go to confessions and hopefully i will feel better after that.

In saying that, i still hate the thought of keeping something like this from my Mother, i know if i tell her she will be really hurt and upset but know that i’m a good person who happened to make one really bad mistake and i’ve now seen the light.
My heart is telling me to confess to her, while my head is telling me not to.

Without knowing you - your mom - your sin - your culture - etc…In short, without having a great deal more knowledge of your situation, it is impossible to give anything like a clear answer on this matter…That said…

For now - Go with your head and not your heart.
You speak of your mother being a good sound Catholic woman. Does she have a regular confessor? A priest who knows your mom well (outside of the confessional as well as inside)? If so - I suggest that you go to this same confessor, confess your sins, and ask him if he thinks you should tell your mother.
His more intimate knowledge of you and her will help him to give a much better answer than we ever could.

:twocents:…duly deposited.

Peace
James

 

[dshix]

Ok. But if i get in trouble for what i’ve done and she hadn’t her heard my side of the story, that would be even worse. I really do understand everyones arguements against telling her and i’ve taken them on board.

I guess it’s best if i go to Confessions and take it from there.

Ps - i’m in my 20s.

Is what you did a criminal action?

 

[10gr8kids]

James 5:16 says to confess your sins one to another so you can pray for one another.

Im sure your mother has done things she is not proud of also. Although, I have a sister that had an abortion once, has since gone to confession, and has never told our mother. I do not think it would do anyone any good for our mom to know. So I guess I would just say only you would know if it would do more harm than good. I would also suggest asking the priest his opinion on the matter when you go to confession.

 

[rexy125]

Is what you did a criminal action?

Unfortunately, it is.

 

[10gr8kids]

Without knowing you - your mom - your sin - your culture - etc…In short, without having a great deal more knowledge of your situation, it is impossible to give anything like a clear answer on this matter…That said…

For now - Go with your head and not your heart.
You speak of your mother being a good sound Catholic woman. Does she have a regular confessor? A priest who knows your mom well (outside of the confessional as well as inside)? If so - I suggest that you go to this same confessor, confess your sins, and ask him if he thinks you should tell your mother.
His more intimate knowledge of you and her will help him to give a much better answer than we ever could.

:twocents:…duly deposited.

Peace
James

I see someone has already given you good advice.

 

[rexy125]

Yes, i will ask the Priest on what to do next. I just feel great shame about keeping this from my Mother and i can’t shake that thought.

As i say, i will go to Confessions first and take it from there.

 

[dshix]

Yes, i will ask the Priest on what to do next. I just feel great shame about keeping this from my Mother and i can’t shake that thought.

As i say, i will go to Confessions first and take it from there.

You’re on the right road. Go ahead, and I pray that your priest will be able to advise you well.