Single and no place to meet others

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rpp said:
Introduction and asking out. Asking for a phone number, then actually calling. Asking to join her at coffee and donuts after Mass. Essentially, the “first move” is both initiating conversation and asking for the first date. In short, LEAD, do not follow.
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rpp’s got the right idea, prodigalson. 👍
 
**This is just me, I know this might be different for many women, but I fell in love with my husband, because he showed that he was a true leader in his courtship of me. I could imagine him leading the family, that perhaps I would have with him. Now, I’m a pretty assertive, independent woman, myself–but when it came to dating, I wanted a man to LEAD. Absolutely. I think that women are thirsting for chivalry, which seems to be dying a slow and painful death, for some reason, in our society. :oBlaming feminism can only take a man so far…but I can see where that has caused so much confusion in the dating world for men.

But, I’m here to tell you, that many women like confident men who will lead…not tell a woman what to do…but lead…there’s a difference.

prodigalson–I didn’t read through this whole thread, just came in at the end here, but just keep the faith about this. Keep a sense of humor about it, too. Don’t make dating a stressful thing, and I’d say don’t overdate. Be selective, and get to know women…perhaps as friends, but always be the one to ask for the phone number, email, whatever. You can** do this…
 
whatevergirl said:
***Well, we really hit if off when we first met…at a party. We danced, and he asked me out for an official date that evening. My husband is a pretty laid back guy, but assertive when need be. 😃 He must have thought it was necessary at that moment. lol He was also quite funny…most women like a man with a sense of humor, too…🙂

Taking risks is sometimes part of life. Taking rejection is, too. I wouldn’t suggest knocking on women’s doors who show absolutely no signs of interest, but be bold, and take initiative. If you and a woman who say are friends, maybe be bold, and write her a letter, if you are shy. Never know what might happen…

But being a ‘shy guy,’ can only be an excuse for so long. Get out there, and be a little bold. Women like a confident man…

You must report back to us with periodic updates. 😃 Good luck to you–praying that you will draw your confidence from Christ, as you seek someone for a potential wife.***
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Whatevergirl, in reading your posts over the years I have been here, I have come to admire your marriage and the relationship you have with your husband, children and the rest of your family. Yes, you have posted about some difficulties now and then. Yet you have always sought peace and have seemed to be ever motivated by love, faith and a desire to do what is right. And when you are not sure, you rey to find out what **is **right. While I only know you through your posts here and (I think) a handful of PMs over the years, you do seem like you have a wonderful marriage and a normal, happy family. I appreciate your humility as well.

I said that to say this, I find what you said here to be wisdom tempered with experience.
 
***rpp–that was so kind of you to say. Really. Thank you. :o

(Normal, you say? :ehh:) lol

You know, marriage really is a journey. It’s not about ever arriving somewhere, but rather what you learn about yourself and your spouse along the way. Most importantly, and it took a little while for me to get this–marriage is about God being at the center. Without God, I’m not sure how some couples make it, to be honest. :o

Have a blessed Easter, rpp. 👋
 
RPP, keep this in mind when regarding absolutely anything about the Catholic faith. Anything that you do will not get you one single step closer to heaven, we all fall short, we all are not worthy, we all fail, that’s a given. When you get into dogma, legalism, the actions taken, in this case the sacrament, and thinking it’s going to save you, you are gravely mistaken. Your stance is almost to the point where you think if you are not Catholic, you are not going to heaven. This is not what it’s about. Sure, it’s a blessing, sure it’s helpful, it in no way has an iota of basis to get you in, or keep you out of heaven.,

Anyway, will let you guys rant on this one as long as you want, twist anything I say around to what ever you want it to be as you keep doing as well, for it’s futile to continue to correct you and it’s futile to tell control freaks that they must let go and have a broader understanding of what’s going on in the “real” world., Growing up, my parents taught me completely wrong about the dating scene, their understanding was so outdated, unrealistic, so utterly impossible, it’s no wonder people have so many problems in this area. Bravo to you that have found the archoac system to work for you, good job, I’m glad you are happy with it, just don’t expect the rest of us to conform to your ideals.

I now have some “dates” lined up, some new “friends” made as well, all very much appreciating this refreshing new perspective of mine and it’s taking on a lot of momentum. It’s really good I’m back into the dating scene, I’m making a huge number of people very happy along the way, hopefully it’s going to continue on it’s own cause it’s obvious, I’m not going to be single very long at all :).
 
Try and start a “Catholic Singles” Group in your diocese. Meet with someone from the Chancery’s Office to see if something can be arranged. You can advertise in the local Catholic Newspaper. Adverise dinners out as a group and things like that.
 
ready said:
Try and start a “Catholic Singles” Group in your diocese. Meet with someone from the Chancery’s Office to see if something can be arranged. You can advertise in the local Catholic Newspaper. Adverise dinners out as a group and things like that.
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Good idea, as I just stated, already have everything under control and I’m happy with it. Anyway, going to unsubscribe from this thread, it’s drawn to the end for me, later gaters…
 
ready said:
Try and start a “Catholic Singles” Group in your diocese. Meet with someone from the Chancery’s Office to see if something can be arranged. You can advertise in the local Catholic Newspaper. Adverise dinners out as a group and things like that.
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He stated he is not interested being limited - that is closed minded - likes to hang out with Protestants… etc etc…
 
whatevergirl said:
**This is just me, I know this might be different for many women, but I fell in love with my husband, because he showed that he was a true leader in his courtship of me. I could imagine him leading the family, that perhaps I would have with him. Now, I’m a pretty assertive, independent woman, myself–but when it came to dating, I wanted a man to LEAD. Absolutely. I think that women are thirsting for chivalry, which seems to be dying a slow and painful death, for some reason, in our society. :oBlaming feminism can only take a man so far…but I can see where that has caused so much confusion in the dating world for men.

But, I’m here to tell you, that many women like confident men who will lead…not tell a woman what to do…but lead…there’s a difference.

B]**

I’ve only read this last page but I have to say whatevergirl has it down right. I’m glad she found what she was looking for. I still haven’t but I know it’s a guy who is willing to lead but not in a controlling way according to GODs word. 👍😃
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prodigalson12 said:
It’s not supposed to be some game with a set of rules to follow, that’s what they do in grade school. As adults, it really should be a two way street, an equal relationship, and sure there are rolls we naturally play, but honestly, it has nothing to do with being manly or feminine, when you get into defining them, then you get into a lot of trouble. Case in point, the roll models I had as a kid were the John Wayne types, you never showed the vulnerable side of yourself, you stuffed your emotions inside, and you were supposed to be hard and calloused. The same with the ladies, where they are told they must be this frail little thing that falls apart at the first sign of troubles, having some strength instead is a huge asset.
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Hold on. I have being following your thread. i agreed with you on the internet dating just because its not for me. But it has worked for some friends and not worked for some others. BUT i do not agree with your position here. As a female i use to buy into the whole i don’t want to be the weak one and i must take charge. I made the first moves and let me tell you those relationships were horrible. Why? because even though i wasn’t full schooled in man/women theology my body and mind went “there is something wrong with this situation”. i got sick of being the leader of being the responsible and “breadwinner”. I didn’t feel these men where going to be helping me get to heaven/ They weren’t going to help me grow in my love for God.

Women don’t want to be the leaders. We don’t want a man who can’t show the vulnerable side but we wan’t some who know will be the protector, the leader of our household, spritiual and physically. If you want a good catholic women then you need to understand this. You need to understand what a wifes/and women’s role is versus a husband/man’s role. Just because a women CAN do something doesn’t mean she should do it.

Now women must do their part in a sense. Remember women are from venus and men are from mars. We work well together but we can’t always read each other’s body language and signals. Take me for example. I have a friend who i have known for awhile who started giving off signals that he might be interested in me. I therefore had to give signals that i was interested. Things got all confusing because of timing. Finally he just asked me out which made everything a heck of a lot easier. He is the leader and he takes charge and i like that. it makes me feel more comfortable. now that doesn’t mean that i don’t get to pick the restuarant or what the plans are going to be it just means that he leads the relationship. He also leads all of our prayers.

Go read what the church says about man and women’s role. Start with Theology of the body and don’t forget humane vite.

Good luck!
 
whatevergirl said:
**This is just me, I know this might be different for many women, but I fell in love with my husband, because he showed that he was a true leader in his courtship of me. I could imagine him leading the family, that perhaps I would have with him. Now, I’m a pretty assertive, independent woman, myself–but when it came to dating, I wanted a man to LEAD. Absolutely. I think that women are thirsting for chivalry, which seems to be dying a slow and painful death, for some reason, in our society. :oBlaming feminism can only take a man so far…but I can see where that has caused so much confusion in the dating world for men. **

But, I’m here to tell you, that many women like confident men who will lead…not tell a woman what to do…but lead…there’s a difference.

prodigalson–I didn’t read through this whole thread, just came in at the end here, but just keep the faith about this. Keep a sense of humor about it, too. Don’t make dating a stressful thing, and I’d say don’t overdate. Be selective, and get to know women…perhaps as friends, but always be the one to ask for the phone number, email, whatever. You can do this…
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i agree with this post 100%. but i can see from profigalson last post that he doesn’t care about our opinions. He looks like one of those posters who thinks he has all the answers instead of taking advice from those who have been there before. Oh well maybe someone else will find this thread and get some good advice.
 
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