R
Rascalking
Guest
I couldn’t agree more with this. I really couldn’t! I tried, and it didn’t work!
- Status
V
valient_Lucy
Guest
I remember having a conversation with some guys at a retreat. One of the girls had spoken very openly about how she wanted to be married. I was the only girl in the small group, and the guys asked me if that was a common reaction, since they didn’t think that guys felt the same way about marriage.I couldn’t agree more with this. I really couldn’t! I tried, and it didn’t work!
V
valient_Lucy
Guest
Oh, I forgot. One thing you can think about is the area in your city where young people live, and visit the parishes there. I wouldn’t recommend switching parishes just for that, but if you go there, you might find out about young adult groups at their parishes, or other groups that might have more young people. You can also go to the parishes websites, and look for young adult groups.
K
Kimothy80
Guest
That’s how I found the young adult group for the Diocese of Pensacola-Tallahassee area. I live in Tallahassee and the parish I go to doesn’t have a young adult group but after poking around the diocese website (took me FOREVER to find it
) I learned that Tallahassee DOES have a group for 18-35 year olds. Next Saturday is what they call their “Lord’s Day” where you have pizza, praise and worship at the parish center of another church in the area. I’m so looking forward to it! 
V
valient_Lucy
Guest
Yes! It may take several hours of perusing the internet, but think of it as a hunt for buried treasure. St. Rose YAG is indeed buried treasure. I’m glad to hear you found one too! Isn’t it a blessing?That’s how I found the young adult group for the Diocese of Pensacola-Tallahassee area. I live in Tallahassee and the parish I go to doesn’t have a young adult group but after poking around the diocese website (took me FOREVER to find it
K
Kimothy80
Guest
Yes, definitely! :yup:
S
ShanaA1984
Guest
I too am in a similar boat. My closest and dearest friend just told me a few weeks ago that she is getting married in the fall and while I am very happy for her I am crying on the inside. I don’t get very many chances to socialize because I am a very shy person (but I am getting better) and a single mother which makes socializing even harder sometimes.
V
valient_Lucy
Guest
I feel for you. I’ve been there. It’s never easy.
V
valient_Lucy
Guest
bump.
R
Rawb
Guest
Man do I hear what y’all are saying. My parish has nothing for people my age (22). I even got in touch with the pastor and suggested several ideas for a group, printed up a mock poster for him, and told him I’d pay for the supplies. He passed it on to an associate priest who never got in touch with me. Sigh. Maybe I’ll go try and get in touch with him tomorrow.
There really is a huge gap in the Church here. People always talk about how college Catholics fall away. Maybe a huge reason is the fact that there is NOTHING for us in the average parish? I have a great devotion to Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati and he wrote letters to his friends about the faith, they really encouraged each other, all our age. They went camping and hiking together, and all I can think is “Where is this now?” I know two other Catholics who I knew before my conversion, and neither is very serious about the faith.
I think this is a bigger issue then the average priest knows, and it will continue to be a problem until they realize that for all intents and purposes, a very large segment of their flock is being ignored.
There really is a huge gap in the Church here. People always talk about how college Catholics fall away. Maybe a huge reason is the fact that there is NOTHING for us in the average parish? I have a great devotion to Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati and he wrote letters to his friends about the faith, they really encouraged each other, all our age. They went camping and hiking together, and all I can think is “Where is this now?” I know two other Catholics who I knew before my conversion, and neither is very serious about the faith.
I think this is a bigger issue then the average priest knows, and it will continue to be a problem until they realize that for all intents and purposes, a very large segment of their flock is being ignored.
V
valient_Lucy
Guest
I hear you too! Unfortunately, since I am lazy, I have no advice to give about starting a young adult group. Do you know the other young adults in your parish? That would be a good place to start, I guess.
Frankly, whenever I think about a young adult group at my parish I think, “Someone else should do something for the young adults here.”
When I went to a Young Adult retreat in January, the students all complained how there is nothing to do for young adult Catholics. I think this is a national problem.
R
Rawb
Guest
I don’t really know any other young adults, but my priest said he’d had others approach and ask him the same questions.
The thing is, I’m a total joiner. I would happily take full responsibility for the group, and run it. Give me a night in a room in the parish hall and I will take care of everything else. Unfortunately the priests in my parish are SUPER busy, and haven’t got in touch with me. There are about five of them, I think, and they have thousands of families in the parish. Not an exaggeration, thousands. I might just need to bring it up again and again, but I’m moving out of the area in August, so I don’t know if it’s worth it.
I’ve thought about joining a protestant group, but I can’t even find one of those in the area!
The thing is, I’m a total joiner. I would happily take full responsibility for the group, and run it. Give me a night in a room in the parish hall and I will take care of everything else. Unfortunately the priests in my parish are SUPER busy, and haven’t got in touch with me. There are about five of them, I think, and they have thousands of families in the parish. Not an exaggeration, thousands. I might just need to bring it up again and again, but I’m moving out of the area in August, so I don’t know if it’s worth it.
I’ve thought about joining a protestant group, but I can’t even find one of those in the area!
V
valient_Lucy
Guest
Yeah, if you’re moving in a few months, it might not be worth it. But still, you could get to know other young adults in your parish, and find out what they were looking for. You guys could get together for coffee or something to discuss it.
A
angelic06
Guest
I go to a nice church with reverent worship, but the thing is…there are very few people there my age who are not already married,etc.,And I’m not about to start re-attending English OF Masses anymore just so that I can get a date. So, the alternatives: 1) find someone at the university (maybe not Catholic). 2) Spend more time praying about it since I cannot say that I’m really ready to get married anyway. Let me give you a hint to which option I’ve finally chosen after much sadness and anguish: it’s not number one, since I see Catholic marriage as a calling to form a domestic Church within the unity of the Church, with or without children, not merely something people fall into, and if with children, to hand down and teach the Holy Faith to the children.
I’ll start with daily Mass tomorrow or Saturday as my first at reforming my spiritual life. Hopefully, God will reveal to me soon whether I am called to the married state, or else rid me of my troublesome desires to be with a woman.
After getting my spiritual life in order and assuming I’m called to be married, here are a few questions to ask a prospective mate ---- any suggestions from already married persons are most assuredly welcomed—these are by no means complete or exclusive of others which can/should be asked (note: some of these are also suitable for a prospective priest):
Some temporal questions (some of them I myself am unable to answer sufficiently right not, which is how I know that marriage is not for me as of now):
Are you able to sufficiently support yourself now and also in time of emergency (if I am killed or incapacitated)? (Important question to ask somewhere along the line before things get too serious)
Where do you see yourself in five years?
etc.etc.
Now, for the meat:
Also, some “extras” which you can customize to your liking in order to make the date interesting:
What is your favorite Christmas present? Birthday present? Lent/Holy Week/Easter customs?
If you won the lottery, what would you do with your money?
What is your ideal vacation place?
What did you want to do “when you grow up” when you were little (forgive the grammatical errors)?
What other languages can you speak well?
Have you ever been to a non-Catholic church? What did you most appreciate about it? For us Latins, an eastern rite Catholic Church? (And conversely, for eastern Catholics, an eastern Church of another rite or a Latin church?)
etc.
You will notice that the vast majority belong to the spiritual realm. Now, obviously not every date is going to be the same. I just wanted to throw out a few ideas to think about.
Now, as I stated before, you should assess both your temporal as well as your spiritual readiness before going to the altar, the same one in which the Most Holy Eucharist, the Sacrament of Unity and the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, is offered, to be married and joined, irrevocably in this world, to each other. That is, consider your vocation to the married life very gravely, for the Lord will demand an accounting of us if any is joined other than what is lawful in His sight.
With Easter joy and grace and blessings from above,
Paul R. Viola
I’ll start with daily Mass tomorrow or Saturday as my first at reforming my spiritual life. Hopefully, God will reveal to me soon whether I am called to the married state, or else rid me of my troublesome desires to be with a woman.
After getting my spiritual life in order and assuming I’m called to be married, here are a few questions to ask a prospective mate ---- any suggestions from already married persons are most assuredly welcomed—these are by no means complete or exclusive of others which can/should be asked (note: some of these are also suitable for a prospective priest):
Some temporal questions (some of them I myself am unable to answer sufficiently right not, which is how I know that marriage is not for me as of now):
Are you able to sufficiently support yourself now and also in time of emergency (if I am killed or incapacitated)? (Important question to ask somewhere along the line before things get too serious)
Where do you see yourself in five years?
etc.etc.
Now, for the meat:
- Who do you look up to (heroes, saints, etc.)?
- What does your baptism mean to you?
- What kind of spiritual reading do you enjoy (St. Thomas Aquinas, Mother Angelica, etc. etc. etc.)?
- What are you favorite holy days?
- What kind of temporal activities do you enjoy (music, skydiving, etc. etc. etc.)?
- What is the Church to you? Family? Marriage? Self?
- What are your priorities in life?
- Do you make some attempt at attending Church functions (Evensong/Vespers, daily Mass, etc.) in addition to required Mass attendance on Sundays and other Holy Days of Obligation, given whatever extra time is available to you? What are your favorites? What else do you do to grow in faith?
- Have you heard any good sermons?
- What image of God comes most readily to you? (just Judge, kind Advocate, etc.,)
- Who were/are your chief influences in life?
Also, some “extras” which you can customize to your liking in order to make the date interesting:
What is your favorite Christmas present? Birthday present? Lent/Holy Week/Easter customs?
If you won the lottery, what would you do with your money?
What is your ideal vacation place?
What did you want to do “when you grow up” when you were little (forgive the grammatical errors)?
What other languages can you speak well?
Have you ever been to a non-Catholic church? What did you most appreciate about it? For us Latins, an eastern rite Catholic Church? (And conversely, for eastern Catholics, an eastern Church of another rite or a Latin church?)
etc.
You will notice that the vast majority belong to the spiritual realm. Now, obviously not every date is going to be the same. I just wanted to throw out a few ideas to think about.
Now, as I stated before, you should assess both your temporal as well as your spiritual readiness before going to the altar, the same one in which the Most Holy Eucharist, the Sacrament of Unity and the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, is offered, to be married and joined, irrevocably in this world, to each other. That is, consider your vocation to the married life very gravely, for the Lord will demand an accounting of us if any is joined other than what is lawful in His sight.
With Easter joy and grace and blessings from above,
Paul R. Viola
A
angelic06
Guest
My apologies to the OP if married life was not what you had in mind but were you interested in just making friends or finding a prospective mate or both?
V
valient_Lucy
Guest
I can’t speak for the OP, but while many of the posts seem to be about the latter, we also addressed the former. I think it’s more about the former, having a group to make friends and to practice your faith life with people your own age. Sometimes it gets a little discouraging to see only people old enough to be your parents practicing your faith. (God love 'em!) Don’t get me wrong, I have learned a lot from them, and they are a blessing, but it’s so encouraging to see other young people practicing, living, and loving their faith!
P
presidentjlh
Guest
Quoted for truth. I think some traditionalist Catholics take the ideas of sin and stretch them way too far. Sometimes it makes it seem like if you’re having fun, oh, you’re obviously sinning.
No, no, no, no, no. Jesus Christ himself went to celebrations. He doesn’t want us to shy away from the world. He knows we aren’t perfect, but, He loves us. He wants those who are outgoing to ahead and be social.
V
valient_Lucy
Guest
That’s true. There is a BIG difference between sin and fun. After all, not all sin is fun, and not everything that is fun is sinful.
That being said, I don’t know if that is solely the province of traditionalist Catholics. I read part of The Bad Catholic’s Guide to Good Living, by John Zmirak, a Catholic who prefers and promotes the Mass in the EF. However, it was funny! (Actually, at times, I thought it went a bit too far!) But it’s true. A holy person is a joyful person.
R
Rawb
Guest
It’s sort of a tough line to walk. I mean, take this one girl I dated. We both knew that we were looking for someone to marry; that’s what we both thought the purpose of dating was. We didn’t, however, come right out and talk about marrying each other. Sort of general references to our future spouse was the line. We were both comfortable with that,
It’s the person a lot of time. With her it was ok to talk about marriage (in the general sense, as I said, on the first and second date even), but I’ve met other girls who would have me running for the hills if they started talking about wedding bells that soon.
It’s the person a lot of time. With her it was ok to talk about marriage (in the general sense, as I said, on the first and second date even), but I’ve met other girls who would have me running for the hills if they started talking about wedding bells that soon.
R
Rascalking
Guest
I feel the same way you do, Sir/Madam presidentjlh!
- Status