So a woman rests her hand on my back at Mass yesterday. What's a guy to do?

[Semper_Fi_1]

I could take or leave hand-holding during the Mass (although I would rather not hold hands with a 6’6 300 pound guy) although I generally dislike the practice. That’s why on Sundays I usually go to the Latin Novus Ordo.

 

[anniemart]

Just wink. And smile.

Leaves them confused.

And you don’t have to hold hands.

My thoughts as well! Can’t wink however. I have many skills but winking isn’t one of them.

 

[nablaise]

back to a serious note. We are supposed to love our neighbor as ourselves. So, he shouldn’t have done something which may offend her.

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

back to a serious note. We are supposed to love our neighbor as ourselves. So, he shouldn’t have done something which may offend her.

Don’t confuse kindness with enabling. This lady crossed the line, and she should be nicely told that not everyone wants to be touched, and that a touch from behind my get a very strong negative reaction from many people. (I also may shriek).

Some people react with a slap or punch—next time she may not be so lucky.

Lux

 

[CarrieH]

Well, most men think that most women are constantly hitting on them. But in church??

You never know. One time when I was cantor, I was returning to the organ loft at the back of the church after Mass. I passed by an older man who said, “Nice job, honey” as I walked by – and patted me on the bum!!! Right there in church! :bigyikes: I was so shocked, I was speechless…so I kept on walking (quickly!). I did notice a smell of alcohol about him which was above and beyond what one would pick up from partaking of the Precious Blood, and this was for the Saturday Vigil, so he’d had all day to get tanked up. But just to be on the safe side, I made it a point to steer clear of that man after that incident.

 

[rpp]

Well, most men think that most women are constantly hitting on them. But in church??

Wait a minute! Are you saying they aren’t?

 

[St_Gabriel]

Just thank the Lord for being alive and allowing you to experience such an awkward moment! Thank you for sharing it. I really think God has a sense of humour.

 

[rpp]

By the way, Lepanto, did you get her phone number?

 

[TOP]

I don’t like to be touched by strangers. I call them “space invaders”. People that get too close. I take it as an aggresive move. I am also told I have PTSD. On one occasion I nearly broke the arms of someone accidently from fear. The other night I was dreaming I was fighting and punched the alarm clock and headboard waking me up. Please respect my space and not grab my hand during the Our Father. Thank You , Tim

 

[Wayne_Laugesen]

I have a history of trying to avoid holding hands at Mass by closing my eyes and folding my hands. I’ve had people come from the other side of the aisle to nudge me from my state of prayer in order that I would hold hands. I used to politely decline and go about my personal communication with God.

A few years ago, I found myself at a church consisting mostly of white people. When the Our Father began, I closed my eyes and folded my hands. I was nudged by a woman next to me, and I did what I often do: I politely declined by shaking my head and using body language to indicate that I was deep in prayer.

Unbelievably, after Mass the woman called me a racist! She said Jesus wouldn’t fear touching a black woman, so I shouldn’t either. This absolutely floored me, but I felt badly that she believed this. I told her that I touch black people all the time, as several of my Godchildren are black. When I reached out to shake her hand, she turned and walked away from me in disgust. Ever since then, I have held out my hand when nudged by a neighbor in the pew.

 

[thechrismyster]

I have a history of trying to avoid holding hands at Mass by closing my eyes and folding my hands. I’ve had people come from the other side of the aisle to nudge me from my state of prayer in order that I would hold hands. I used to politely decline and go about my personal communication with God.

A few years ago, I found myself at a church consisting mostly of white people. When the Our Father began, I closed my eyes and folded my hands. I was nudged by a woman next to me, and I did what I often do: I politely declined by shaking my head and using body language to indicate that I was deep in prayer.

Unbelievably, after Mass the woman called me a racist! She said Jesus wouldn’t fear touching a black woman, so I shouldn’t either. This absolutely floored me, but I felt badly that she believed this. I told her that I touch black people all the time, as several of my Godchildren are black. When I reached out to shake her hand, she turned and walked away from me in disgust. Ever since then, I have held out my hand when nudged by a neighbor in the pew.

in comedy terms…don’t dumb down for people who don’t get your material. it’s beneath you and you’ll never satisfy them. a lose-lose proposition.

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

Wait a minute! Are you saying they aren’t?

Sure they are----

Don’t panic

Lux

 

[Potato1]

Some of these posts amaze me. I often think on these boards “what parishes do you people attend, and can I come” People here will go to any extreme just to argue. "maybe she was epileptic, maybe she was off balance, maybe her hands were cold, maybe she had 8 hands and ran out of places to put them, maybe she… " I got one, maybe she was imposing on someone who she had no business imposing on. Who gives a hoot what her intentions were, it was at least ignorant of society and at most imposing and rude. And then people have the gall to say things like, “oh just put up with it”, “It wouldn’t bother me” And my personal favorite, “don’t be rude toi HER”
The issue here isn’t even about hand holding, (which is silly enough) But about reaching out and touching someone else that doesnt want it. A perfect example of how if you give liberals an inch they will take a mile. Those of us who are educated about our church wince at every mass we go to. I am in the same city as the OP there is no church within 100 miles that doesn’t hold hands. The OPs best bet is to find one that just doesnt molest.
If it were me, I would have POLITELY (just so you people don’t think I am uncharitable) said “Don’t touch me please” I hope touchy feely people here noticed the please. But then I am a big guy with a beutiful wife and 2 screaming kids at mass, so people don’t mess with me. Now if a guy touched my wife… well lets just say it would be a protestant service, ya know 2 guys rolling down the isle…
Good grief people just speak the truth, speak it with kindness and educate those who need it. or we will lose our Church.

 

[rwoehmke]

Call the vice squad. You never know what these designing women are up to, specially those with a man and three kids in the same pew. Least she didn’t grab your knee, you would probably have ended up in the pew in front of you.

More seriously though, the holding hands thing seems to be slowly dying out in our parish. Can’t really hold hands and do the orans thing. We often do a shaking of hands and an introduction thing before Mass. Couple of weeks ago I offered my hand to a lady and she hit it with her prayer book.She looked panic stricken. Absolutely not a touchy feely type. I chuckled about it all week.