So depressed found 12 yr old son is watching porn

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To be honest, what first exposed me to impure images were nude statues and paintings. Made me curious I suppose. So personally, I don’t think it’s good for kids or really anyone to view these statues and paintings. Yes the human body is objectively good and is a wonderful and healthy thing, made in God’s image. But that doesn’t mean we should put it on display for everyone to see, I think it’s very hard to not lust in this case. Some people argue they can watch porn and not lust in order to help their marital relations. Makes no sense to me, seems like rationalization
 
The point I was trying to make about the art gallery is that curiosity and interest in the sexuality of human beings is present in most all kids. Add to that the introduction of hormones, and they can have impure thoughts by looking at the reconstructable body model in the biology lab. You can’t take that away from them, nor should you try. It is a normal part of human development. The problem is that when they go searching for a way to satisfy their curiosity, it is so easy for them to get their hands on brutal porn. Hence my point, that back in the old days you would take a walk through the art gallery and be met with a relatively benign form of human nudity which wasn’t graphic (not depicting people having sex, etc).

As I said before, the curiosity is completely normal. How a parent balances that with the porn that is so readily available in today’s world is a tough one. I feel for today’s parents.
 
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Yes, it’s a huge epidemic… Found it on my brother’s phone and he’s only 12. I probably started around the same age, parents never did catch me. It has caused so much damage and I’m trying to heal and recover from it. Wish my parents would’ve talked to me more about it when I was younger. Felt like I separated myself, it was like a life of suppression then indulgence. Covenant eyes will help. For me, the thing is it’s everywhere and it’s pushed all over the media. What I got from parents is that sex is bad and looking at people in that way is evil. So all I did was suppress yet would watch porn at night and try to block all of it during the day. Felt like puberty never happened to me.
 
Do not take acetaminophen when when you have nausea. Your liver’s glutathione levels drop when you go without food, whether from vomiting or from fasting. Glutathione is necessary to break down acetaminophen safely. It’s okay, however, if you ate a couple hours ago, because that food has already entered your intestines and won’t be vomited up.
 
The sin of lust is the same either way, but live-action porn is also an act of prostitution.
 
Thank you Mythbuster I had been eating, just lighter foods. My husband advised me to take it and he is a physician. The headache preceded the nausea.
 
The human body is ok in all of its beauty and real ness. It’s good to look at a piece of art. It’s not wrong for you to find the human body beautiful. You can look at a picture of a lovely woman and still be a good catholic. I’m going to say a special prayer for you tomorrow at mass as you did for me earlier this week. Pm me for how I could pray for you x
 
Matt Fradd is a contemporary Catholic speaker that addresses current issues with pornography. I would recommend listening to his talks since they can better inform you on how and how not to respond, and plus they’ll make you feel better.

The reality of the world is that more children will be exposed to porn than those who aren’t. We don’t think much about phones since they’ve become a daily part of our life, but Matt Fradd explains it perfectly: a smart phone is a portable X-rated movie theater that can fit inside your pocket and is widely distributed to children. So all that being said, it should be 0% shocking how many boys (and girls) get wrapped up in pornography.

Covenant Eyes is good software and yes, you should get it for you and your family. Porn is a subject that should and must be discussed by parents to children at a young age, in an age appropriate way. I know there are going to be people who object to this, but think about this: what do we tell children about strangers? We tell them not to talk to them or to go with them. Every parent has this conversation (or should have this conversation) with their kids at a very early age. We aren’t merely talking about pornography here, but we’re talking about kidnapping and/or trafficking. So we absolutely should discuss other things with kids, like “If you accidentally see something on the computer that is supposed to be covered up by a bathing suit, come and tell mommy and daddy right away and we will be very proud of you.”

Peace.
 
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0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
Get the Covenent Eyes app, have your DH have a serious sit-down with your son, explain it all to him without freaking out (even privately to yourself) and move on.
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He will just learn to use Tor browser which easily bypasses such restrictions.

If he is a smart kid, there is nothing you can do to filter the real world from him. If he wants to watch porn, he’ll find ways to do so. If he isn’t a smart kid, he’ll watch it on other computers, his friends iPads, school computers, etc…

Communication is the best way.
 
Well, you know…Spotify is another good examples of consumerism. You can listen and consume a lot of music but when you perform music yourself reality kicks in.
 
leonhardprintz said:
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0Scarlett_nidiyilii:
Get the Covenent Eyes app, have your DH have a serious sit-down with your son, explain it all to him without freaking out (even privately to yourself) and move on.
Click to expand...
He will just learn to use Tor browser which easily bypasses such restrictions.

If he is a smart kid, there is nothing you can do to filter the real world from him. If he wants to watch porn, he’ll find ways to do so. If he isn’t a smart kid, he’ll watch it on other computers, his friends iPads, school computers, etc…

Communication is the best way.
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Entirely missing the point.

Filters serve two valuable functions:

A) Help prevent people or kids from accidentally stumbling on pornographic content

B) Greatly reinforces the willpower so a person doesn’t take 2 seconds to type something in a search engine.

I first saw porn when I was an adolescent. I watched it as a teenager and in college. I installed a filter on every device I had and by the grace of God the habit was broken. Just like that. It’s not because I wasn’t capable of bypassing it.

You can still reach the cookies if they’re on the top shelf behind some pans, but it’s still valuable to keep them there versus sitting on the table.

Obviously you need communication, but you should also get a filter. The internet was a new thing in the 90s and 00s but it’s increasingly getting to the point of negligence if you don’t.
 
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I would go for updating my modem so that has the following features:
  • Parental Controls which allow you to restrict a specific computer or device’s internet access at certain times of the day.
  • Have a modem that has filters and settings so you can control what anyone connecting to the Internet through that modem can access and when.
  • Website filter which is based on keywords you enter.
  • Port forwarding allows you to define the ports to be enabled to allow/block those applications.
  • MAC address filtering
This will prevent him accidentally stumbling onto an undesirable website or intentionally searching for one.
 
brittanyjohns said:
I am a computer nerd and trust me there is NO way to block it.
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Thanks for saying this. I’m a PC nerd myself (became a full time web developer too), and I’ve tested a few blocking programs. There’s always a way around it. Always.

I think the best way is to teach them how to block it themselves. How to avoid it. Why to avoid it. If you become the obstacle, you become the enemy and porn becomes the prize. If you teach that porn is the enemy, then teach him how and why to avoid it, it’ll help him much more, even if he continues to struggle with it.
 
TheHolyTrinity thank you for this very practical advice from the opposite of a computer nerd. Do you have specific equipment you can recommend (if that is allowed on CAF)?

boclucky14 I also totally agree with you and I think so much of my own posts on this thread have been about that, what is a suitable response from us as parents? It is so sad that we are in a world where we as parents are fighting this torrent of all kinds of unsuitable content (not just porn) and we are the only protectors of our children. The government and the companies take no responsibility for protecting those under 18. Kids can find themselves swayed by extreme political ideas or you hear of those poor parents whose child suddenly declares they want to change sex after watching way too many YouTube videos of other young people with a very confused concept of the human person.

The whole concept of having a handheld computer which can, in a personal and approachable way expose you to any and all ideas, philosophies and concepts out there is so new. It is hard to know how to control except to do our best as parents to form our children’s hearts, minds and consciences to help them discern to the best of their ability but there is just so MUCH of it.

That’s why I encourage my son to come to me when he hears new ideas and I talk to him about critical thinking and not being too quick to accept things at face value without hearing the other side.
 
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TK421 said:
A) Help prevent people or kids from accidentally stumbling on pornographic content

B) Greatly reinforces the willpower so a person doesn’t take 2 seconds to type something in a search engine.
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Tor browser takes less than 10 seconds to download and run on a high bandwidth connection. If access to the Tor site itself is blocked, all the kid needs to learn is a special email address where if you send a mail to it, a mail will be returned wit the Tor browser attached.

I tried this route. I even handed administrative access off to a friend of mine and other highly invasive and desperate moves. Didn’t work for me.

However, admittedly I was already an addict. On the other hand I know that if I was curious, filters wouldn’t work. I’d learn about porn from my friends at school. Feel left out, and seek it myself.
 
One more thing to add: “This includes pictures of cartoon characters.”
 
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