Son is asking to go to church

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Hi, all. Thank you in advance for your help and opinions. I didn’t know where to post this - parenting or spirituality so I took a stab here since it has to do with my son’s spirituality.

FIrst some brief background: I have a 10 year old and a 5 year sons. They’re neat kids. Religiously speaking, I was raised Roman Catholic but now consider myself an “Intelligent Designer” (not creationist - a little different - don’t have to tell you religious pros that, I guess). My wife is an aethiest (which can make for interesting conflicts/avoidance) raised a mix of Methodist and Baptist.

My 10 year old son recently asked to attend a basketball program called UPWARDS. It’s a Protestant program and anyone is welcome. We allowed it.

He actually got “Most Christ-Like” in a couple of games. He is very “Christ-like.” I am proud of him. At school, when a younger kid was pushed down, he tried to comfort him and keep him from crying. How Christ-like is that?

Anyway, moving along, this evening he has asked me to go to Church because he wants to learn about God. I am sure it’s too conincidental that this request came 1-2 months following his immersion in UPWARDS.

Knowing he wants to explore his spiritual side, I said, “Great. Let’s do it. Being that I am most familiar with Catholicism we will start there”

(His grandmother is a devout Baptist and to make her happy, I said let’s surprise her one morning and take her out to Church also)

Just so you know, I don’t plan on a “shopping spree” of any kind, LOL.

I thought I’d start with the concept of Lent, prayer, culminating in an Easter service.

I guess my question is, and forgive me I come across offensive as that it is not my intention, is that I realize to a certain extent Catholicism is a “club.” I have visited this forum in the past and I know “Cafeteria Catholics” are well. … loved. . .but disapproved of.

Is this even “workable?”

I mean, I know we are welcome in Church but yet. . .I’ll admit I’d feel as out of place as mud on a white sheet.

Can we explore his faith/spirtuality, even culminating in a baptism and possible confirmation, with his father being an IDer?

I guess thought I would get a feel from some devout parishioners and also, of course, seek the counsel of my local priest.

Thanks in advance again.
 
Scanner said:
Hi, all. Thank you in advance for your help and opinions. I didn’t know where to post this - parenting or spirituality so I took a stab here since it has to do with my son’s spirituality.
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God is calling you through your son, and your family through His Son.

The Baptist church has fine traditions and services, but not a valid Eucharist (Christ present in the consecrated host). The Baptist church, in fact all Christian churches are derived from the Catholic. Catholic simply means “universal”. It has the richest and most profound experience of Christianity. Check some of the threads for converts to Catholicism.

You came here for a reason. If you want to honor intelligent design, learn to love and trust the Designer! IMHO, the best way to do that is through the very church that Christ founded, rather than an offshoot.

All of you will be in my prayers.
 
I second po18guy’s reply. Your son sounds like a fantastic young man. This speaks very well of his parents! 👍 God bless.
 
very easy
just start bringing your sons to Mass
you belong here
they belong here
welcome home.
 
I am casting my vote with the other posters. Just start coming to Mass. Visit also on a day that the parish near you has exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. (Adoration) And ask the same question.😉 You will get the correct answer.

Prayers.
 
Oh, just so you know. . .we are going to the Baptist service just to make a 92 year old woman happy (teaching charity, I guess). Prayer, the Bible, and Church are very much a part of her life and I know she would be thrilled if her grandson-in-law and great-grandson showed up one morning to take her to church and then breakfast.

I hope that’s not leading her on. What do you think? I know theorectically you are always welcome in any Church, but at the same time, it would be naive to think there’s “no strings attached.”

Other than my mother and my father who was confirmed at age 55, our family, especially her side, is entirely non-spirtual/secular. My sister in an aetheist. Her parents are. Her brother is. Godparents, if we proceed with this, will be sparse for the picking.

I have no idea what to expect from a Baptist service. I would imagine it’s evangelical, hymns, celebational. . .I wonder if the congregation communes with everyone? Well. . .no matter. I’ll write her a letter to let her know what’s going on to be fair, I guess. Or I’ll call the night before to surprise her; that way she doesn’t have time to “think about it” too much and then tell her my plans afterwards.

I will, of course, do Mass also. I understand the basics of Catholicism - he isn’t to take communion unless baptized and clear of sin. I have already told him that Catholics tend to worship with their body more than other Christian religions - rising, kneeling, genuflecting. . .etc.

We will discuss prayer, fasting during Lent, what Jesus did for mankind, of course. OF course, he’s 10. . .can’t overwhelm him. I don’t expect comprehension on everything.

Easter Mass and/or Easter Vigil will be the “climax” of course.
 
I will assume that your 92 year old grandma goes to a relatively traditional Baptist church. There will probably be lots of great singing, and a long, strong sermon. Please do not let your son go up for any ‘altar calls’.

At Mass, things may not be as lively. This book, The How-To Book of the Mass: Everything You Need to Know but No One Ever Taught You, is a great explaination of what goes on. At 10, he might not be able to understand everything in the book, but you can read it with him. A children’s missal will help him (and little brother) follow along.

Explain to him why none of you will be receiving communion (at Mass or at the baptist church if they have it), but also leave open the opportunity for him to prepare for that.

I’ll be praying for all of you, that God’s will becaomes plain.
 
Scanner said:
What’s an altar call and how would I know it?
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At the end of the sermon the preacher will ask anyone who is ‘ready to receive the Lord into their hearts’ (or words to that effect) to come forward to the altar for prayer. You see it happen in the big Billy Graham events on TV–people coming to the front to kneel and be prayed over by the elders.

The problem with this is that it is not a sacrament and a one time prayer does not protect us from sin forever. It would be more beneficial to your son to receive a blessing from the priest after Mass. Also, show him how to bless himself (sign of the cross) with the holy water when you walk into the sanctuary.
 
Explain to him why none of you will be receiving communion (at Mass or at the baptist church if they have it), but also leave open the opportunity for him to prepare for that.
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Okay, this may be a key point so I want to make sure I have this correct.

When we get to communion, we will of course spend the time in prayer and contemplation and not partake.

On the way home, I will explain to him the reason why we don’t partake in communion (at Mass, not the Baptist service) is because although Jesus broke bread and communed with sinners. . .we aren’t Jesus and to approach Jesus while not being absolved from sin through the confessional is a sin itself.

Only the “clean” get to “commune” with Jesus.

Did I get it right? (or at least 80%?)
 
Excellent! Also, the Eucharist is reserved for those who actually believe that the priest’s words (Jesus’ words at the last supper) change the bread and wine into the true, real Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus. So after the consecration, the Eucharist really is Jesus. Which is why we want to approach it with a clean heart (confession), why we are so careful with the elements (drinking all the wine, conserving the hosts in the tabernacle), and why we actually adore the Eucharist (because it IS Jesus, not because it makes us think of Jesus).
 
Excellent! Also, the Eucharist is reserved for those who actually believe that the priest’s words (Jesus’ words at the last supper) change the bread and wine into the true, real Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus. So after the consecration, the Eucharist really is Jesus.
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It’s “transsubstantiated.” Right? But I won’t drop that word on a 10 year old 🙂
Which is why we want to approach it with a clean heart (confession), why we are so careful with the elements (drinking all the wine, conserving the hosts in the tabernacle), and why we actually adore the Eucharist (because it IS Jesus, not because it makes us think of Jesus).
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Got it.

Thanks for your help.
 
Scanner said:
.

On the way home, I will explain to him the reason why we don’t partake in communion (at Mass, not the Baptist service) is because although Jesus broke bread and communed with sinners. . .we aren’t Jesus and to approach Jesus while not being absolved from sin through the confessional is a sin itself.

Only the “clean” get to “commune” with Jesus.

Did I get it right? (or at least 80%?)
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Not quite
we do not approach communion until invited
it is a gift not a right
it is both sign, symbol and reality of the Real Presence, of Jesus Christ, whole and entire, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity with us in every Mass as we participate in His saving action at the Last Supper, on Calvary and His Resurrection–one event present for all time on all altars of all Catholic Churches throughout the world, throughout history. We partake of this communion when we are in communion–when we are in unity, the Unity Christ spoke of on the night before He died, the communion he creates. with Himself as Head and we as the Body of Christ.

To partake of the sign and reality when we as yet are not fully in communion is a lie. Our hunger for his Body is our hunger for this communion and will be satisfied only when we seek this communion. Yes continuing conversion and turning away from sin is called for both by those pursuing full communion, and those who have been fully initiated, who are all sinners, and all in need of continuing conversion, confession, forgiveness and absolution.

It belongs to Jesus Christ through the Church he founded to mediate his grace upon Earth to bring us into full communion, it is not for us to demand it on our own terms.

If you are looking for a Church of perfect sinless people look elsewhere, you will not find this in any Catholic Church. We are all sinners, all pardoned and absolved only through the grace of Christ, and all liable to fall again, and to seek forgiveness from Christ, the Church and each other, again and again.
 
Not quite
we do not approach communion until invited
it is a gift not a right
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I get that it’s a gift, not a right. But I must admit your dissertation after that lost me and would certainly lose any 10 year old.

Is there a spot in the Mass where the priest specifically invites only those who are absolved of sin up for the Eucharist? (I don’t recall any point but it’s been awhile)

Or is this a point that the congregation that is properly catechized is just assumed to know?

In other words, some clergy minister to the masses, right? (which is where we would fall at this point) In Catholicism, the clergy minister only to the “prepared congregation”, right?

This isn’t stuff I think he needs to know as he is introduced. . .but I am just filing it away.
 
you simply tell your son, the Mass is the way Catholics worship God, because it is the way commanded by Jesus. If and when we become Catholic, we will worship in that way, and we will receive Jesus in holy communion, as they do. Would you be interested in learning more about this, and what is going on at Mass? If so, we can ask the people at this parish if there is a class you can join with other kids your age. then someday, if it is something we think God is calling us to do, we also can become Catholic and receive Jesus in Holy Communion.

don’t you think attending Mass and observing for a while is a good idea?

in the meantime, in the area of “sin” and “wrongdoing” teach as any responsible parent would, that there are things we all know are wrong, especially actions that hurt others or ourselves, that part of growing up is learning how to make choices about our behavior, and that bad behavior does have bad consequences, even if we don’t always realize it at first. We also know that if we have hurt someone else we want to ask their forgiveness, and that we feel better when we forgive those who have hurt us. We model choosing right behavior, self-discipline, forgiveness and reconcilation in the family, as you are no doubt already doing.
 
Absolutely.

And knowing the normal shyness in him, I don’t think he’ll want to partake in communion anyway so observance, listening, and contemplation are where we will be.

Thanks.

There’s a lot to talk about but I will probably only focus on one point at a time.

I really think his motivation is to go learn about the nature of God, which he hasn’t been exposed to. Worship of God is a foreign concept so it may very well start with that - these people around us in Church today are worshipping God, even though they don’t necessarily understand his nature.

Kids are naturally curious. And the other kids from UPWARDS seem to have answers he doesn’t which is probably what prompted the request.

(this an amateur parent’s child psychological reading at best)

He thinks that’s what Church will provide for him - answers about God. He may be disappointed to find out it’s more about worship. . .but I’ll prepare for that.
 
It’s a great idea for you to take your son to mass. Don’t pay any attention to cliches. I go because Jesus said, “Do this in memory of me”.

Keep planting those seeds of faith and let the Holy Spirit do all the watering!
 
TOPS,

Thanks and I am glad everyone is excited but remember, spiritually speaking. . .you guys are like the triathletes of the spiritual world.

We are like, well. . .the couch potatoes, sorry to say, LOL @ myself.

(with priests, ministers and rabbi’s being the pros)

We’ll probably just start with going to Mass for awhile just as a person new to exercise starts out on the treadmill 20 minutes/day walking. But yes, if he can follow along. . .that would help.
 
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