Son rejected God

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Jennawhite

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My son who is 16 has stopped believing in God. In his own words he believes the idea of God is a pile of horse manure. I have brought my son up catholic and made him to go to mass every Sunday.Which he now refuses to go. He doesn’t share any of the same views as me for example
*He believes gay marriage should be legal
*He believes ivf is a good thing
*He thinks contraception is acceptable
*He don’t believe in chastity
*Does not think masterbation is wrong
What do I do I can’t force him to go to mass, I can’t stop him if he masterbates.I feel like I’m losing complete authority over him.
When arguing with he always has well thought out arguments but are completely secular from the way I raised him.
Hes is a smart boy but very stubborn so i feel as if I am powerless
 
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While force is a strong word, a sixteen year old should go to mass with the family. And certainly should not be allowed to use that kind of language describing God to you. You have clearly lost control and probably need to figure out where or when before you can correct it. And it’s late. 2 years and this wont be yours to control. That being said. Don’t damage your relationship with him so much you can’t influence him in love later. Prayers for you.
 
We are all constantly under attack. I would suggest praying the rosary for him. Also if you could get him to agree to it I would point him right here to CA forums. We can easily be led astray when our point of view is not adequately challenged. Then we make the mistake of consuming material that supports our bias. There are some brilliant minds on this forum prepared to answer strong objections to the faith.
 
Lol CAF will be a short lived trip for someone who speaks of God with that language to his parents much less the forums!
 
I don’t have any advice, but I’ll pray for your son and all children who have to grow up influenced by such secular culture through their peers. My own daughter is still in the womb and even now I pray for her on this.

Saint Monica, pray for us.
 
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First off, don’t despair. Situations like this change with time. Be very patient. Second, you are his mother so he will listen to you even when he says he doesn’t. So talk to him always. Ask, so what do you believe in now? is there an afterlife or not? how do you explain drawing the line in moral issues? why do you have morality? etc.
 
My husband and I are just about to start studying the catechism together and using a book which is written by some great teachers of catechisis (I was taught by one myself) and you take short passages each day and can get through the catechism in a year. I’ve asked our 12 year old son to join us and probably our 15 yr old daughter, because of the same kinds of concerns. I want to be sure they know EXACTLY what the church teaches and why.

https://www.amazon.com/Year-Catechi...ley&qid=1548201000&sprefix=petroc+will&sr=8-1

The main author, Petroc Willey now teaches catechism at the Franciscan University of Steubenville and has been a professor of catechisis for over 25 years. He was asked to teach at the Vatican.

If your son is willing to engage with these ideas honestly this could help you grow in your faith and grow closer together. You should obviously pray with him and for him too.
 
I think that you need to talk to him and have an in depth conversation about what he believes and why he believes what he does. Most importantly however is that you have to listen to him. I think at one point I was very much in the shoes of your son (grew up in a family of non practicing protestants though) and now here I am in my early 20s pursuing the Catholic faith on my own. Understand that you may not be able to get through to him now, and that’s hard I know.

However remember that there is the future. Things can change and something like this is not going to change over night. It’s most likely going to be a gradual change over time. I really do hope that you can be patient and be open to listening to him. Listening is the key.
 
I can’t make him do anything I can’t take his phone off him he bought it himself.I can’t ground him as he is legally able to leave the house without my consent.Also he has a stash of money that will finance his day trips if I cut off the money tap.

Also I don’t want to ruin the relationship I have with him, which is pretty good apart from the religious aspect.

He’s not a bad kid he helps out,cleans up and is very loving and empathetic towards other kids.Aswell as doing well academically

And the time we did have quite a severe argument and I used when your under my roof you will do what I say card.He just got up and said fine I’ll leave!

Not worth the hassle to make him go I would rather passively persuade him.
 
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Have you considered going on some kind of field trip with him and trying to spend quality time engaging in any activity and conversation that doesn’t involve Church, faith, or Catholicism? Just talk and get to know him better and he you.
 
This is maybe not gonna be a popular answer but he sounds like he’s doing what most teenagers do at some point and rebelling. The more you try and convince him otherwise the more he will dig his heels in. I am not sure what you are punishing him for by thinking of taking away his phone and grounding him? What has he done wrong other then question you? I don’t agree with the swearing, granted, and would also have challenged that but maybe grounding is a bit extreme when a firm telling off would do. The best thing to do is to pray for him, and just keep on loving him. He honestly sounds like a good kid just trying to find his own path. Keep inviting him to mass but honestly if you force him I think you run the risk of making him opt out of faith altogether. Good luck! Teenage boys aren’t easy.
 
“He’s not a bad kid he helps out,cleans up and is very loving and empathetic towards other kids.”

Sounds like his parents have done a great job to be honest. I work with kids who go to mass every week and aren’t showing wonderful traits like this. In my experience you catch more flies with honey then vinegar
 
Whoa whoa whoa.

Who pays for his phone service? He bought it, who signed the contract? He maybe bought it, but he is still a minor under your care. Trust me, if he does something illegal with it, you would be involved.

You might benefit from seeking out advice from Dr. Ray. He has books and a show on Catholic radio. He tells it like it is - - I personally think you are being bamboozled about how “nice” he is.

Where’s he get his “pile of cash”?

OTOH, my husband felt at 16 that he didn’t believe in God. 30+ years later he’s a Fourth-degree Knight of Columbus. 😄
I would give him some freedom to think what he wants, but I would personally be wary of his cell-phone freedom and the freedom that he thinks he has due to “pile of cash”.
 
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On what grounds is the phone being removed ? I am lost here. For swearing? OK maybe so if that’s the rules in the house, but it’s not going to make him any more likely to come to church and certainly won’t change his mind on anything .
 
I believe the OP gives him as allowance and possibly in return for chores as they mention turning off the money tap and the young man cleaning up
 
Disobedience and disrespect to his parents. Big time.
He thinks he can come and go and do as he pleases, at 16.
 
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