Spanking Children Aggressively

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It is never ok to ‘spank a bare bottom of your teen or pre teen child’

I am just stunned that parents think that is ok.

It’s not the smacking I am referring to here people.
 
Please, can you give us an example of an instance where a parent has a valid reason to spank a bare bottomed teenage kid. Give us some context as you say.

Again, no, parents do not have the right to discipline their children any way they see fit. There is discipline, and there is abuse. When a parent abuses it does not make it right because they are "doing what they see is fit. "
 
So you cannot give an example when it would be okay other than to say because the parent thinks it is okay or necessary.
 
Well I am not that young, I have three grown children and cannot think of any reason, hypothetical or not where there is ever a need to spank any bare bottomed child, let alone a teen.
 
I guess I just don’t understand how smacking a child is respecting them.

I was never spanked as a child and I still respected my parents because they earned my respect through actions and consequences.

I turned out just fine and can say that I made my parents proud and they never laid a hand on me.

I cannot physically discipline my kids. I fail to see how a parent can physically harm their child in a loving way.

We teach our children not to harm others. Not to hit their friends or siblings…but we are free to do so as parents?

How is a smack on the behind better than a smack across the face?
 
I completely disagree and think their are plenty of other discipline methods that are just as effective and can absolutely be the point across.

Time outs…followed by a consequence for actions…such as taking away a privilege are highly effective.

Last night my three year old directly disobeyed me when I asked her to pick up her toys. She said “no, I won’t!”

I did not smack her. She was put in time out until she calmed down, was told why she was wrong and that she wouldn’t be getting desert for dinner.

Dinner came and she got no desert with her sisters. When it came time to pick up her toys…she listened and did as she was told.
 
Yes, he was giving an opinion and an example of parenting discipline.

Something I very much disagree with.
 
Exactly. Although I think that Pope Francis was not advocating “anything goes if it is done with love” as some people seem to be interpreting his words.
 
In my opinion, if a parent can’t guarantee that they never smack in anger, they have no business doing it. And once a child gets above toddler-hood it ceases being necessary at all. I don’t think it’s ever the best option.

It’s not possible to say with certainty ‘I was smacked and I turned out fine’. I used to say that… But now I suspect that my scrupulosity/perfectionism/subconcious view of God as a judge rather than loving father… it stems from being smacked in anger, often over mistakes rather than boldness, because my parent couldn’t control their temper.

Unless you have the patience of a saint, you risk altering your child’s personality forever by unjust corporal punishment.

And I’m just talking about slapping toddlers and elementary school kids in anger. The OP was most definitely abused based on what she has told us. I’m sorry you had to go through that OP. Please, if you haven’t, have a chat with a councellor.
 
I don’t think it is possible for any parent to say they haven’t struck a child in anger.

You are going to be frustrated with your children…that is going to happen…especially if you are tired, overwhelmed, and outnumbered. If you consider smacking a child as an appropriate thing to do…you’re going to encounter a situation where you hit your kid because you are angry…and that completely defeats the purpose of “loving discipline”.
 
there are two issues here, one is smacking a clothed children

The other issue is exposing a minor and smacking them.

The second issue is something that should never be condoned, especiallly nowadays with the issues the Catholic Church is experiencing in historic sexual child abuse. We should know better , folks, we should know its wrong to expose a person under the age of 18.

And if we don’t know that it is wrong, we have a LOT of work to do on our moral compass, as a community and as individuals.
 
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What I’ve taught my children is that body parts that would be covered by a swimsuits are private and only mommy and daddy can see them when they are helping them bathe or wash, or the doctor for a check up.

Never expose a child immodestly for punishment.
 
I’d add the difference between smacking a child in punishment for a genuine misdeed, and plain old beating your kids…
 
you are not getting my point, whether you smack your kids or not, it is never appropriate to expose their genitals and backside.

Ever.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Exactly. Although I think that Pope Francis was not advocating “anything goes if it is done with love” as some people seem to be interpreting his words.
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Anything that was done with true, full, selfless love and with full knowledge of what is best for the child would be ok. Not that it makes certain behavior ok, but that a parent knowing and wanting what is best for the child would not choose to abuse them.

That said, parents are humans, and deficiencies in either love or knowledge can lead discipline that is not ok. Hence why we have guidelines too.
 
CatholicWife1 said:
I realize many Catholic parents use spanking to discipline their children, and Pope Francis has said that spanking children with love is good parenting. I don’t endorse not disciplining children at all, but this teaching is hard for me to understand though because growing up I was spanked aggressively for just about everything that my parents disapproved of.
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This is not actually what the Pope said. He did not condemn spanking, but also did not say that it is “good parenting” to spank. He did say that it is good parenting to treat children with dignity and that often, the best approach is to be patient, gentle, and forgiving.

This is a far cry from what happened to you, which is outright abusive. It is also a far cry from what some have advocated on this thread- exposing a child’s (or teenager’s!) nude body to spank. Completely inappropriate and yes, abusive. It is humiliating and in direct contrast to the Pope’s words:

https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/ncr-today/pope-francis-spanking
 
It’s the opinion of a great many people that spanking is absolutely considered abuse and there is virtually nothing that would persuade them otherwise.

I feel so bad for children who are spanked. They must be so frightened that a person who loves them would hurt them.
 
It depends on a variety of things – intent, severity, etc. As a blanket statement, that’s not accurate.
 
If you pull down the pants of a teenage girl to spank her, and she reports it to a teacher or other reporter, you should appropriately expect a visit from CPS.
 
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