I am always reluctant to get involved in threads about this topic, but sometimes I just can’t help myself… It seems it is almost impossible to have a rational conversation about this. Invariably, it turns into a debate of extremes (spanking is always abusive vs. not spanking = not disciplining) and blaming Dr. Spock for the downfall of society. What drives me crazy about this is that it seems almost nobody who interjects Spock’s name into the debate has actually ever read any of his work. For the record, he did advocate not spanking, but he absolutely did not tell parents not to discipline their children. Please read some of his work before you attribute all of society’s ills to this man.
Anyhoo…
I am not a big believer in spanking myself as a parent (my children are 3.5 and 1.5 approximately) . I have seen very few parents use it in a calm, sensible, manner (although I know it’s possible). Almost everyone I know that spanks their child does so out of anger or frustration, when they have lost control of a situation and their own actions. I can make sense out of it when it’s a reaction to actual physical danger (toddler running out into the street, etc.) because a parent is replacing true physical harm with a lesser imposition of physical pain, so it seems somewhat logical to me, even if it is not a method I use.
I think it’s doubtful that occasional spanking causes any significant problems down the road. When the method is overused or used as an inconsisentent last resort of a frustrated parent, and is part of a larger family pattern of inconsistent discipline and stressed out parenting, it can be more problematic, which is possibly the reason for the outcomes they show in this study. In other words, it’s probably not the spanking itself but the frazzled families. I also don’t think lack of spanking is the cause of society’s problems. There have been many societal changes over the last 50 years, and the decline of spanking is just one of them. I would venture to say that the demise of the stable family unit has contributed far more to the “issues” you see with children and the younger generation than use/nonuse of a particular discipline method. I think lack of any form of consistent discipline is a problem in our society, and I also attribute much of that to family breakdown.
Even though I choose not to spank, I think if a parent can do so calmly as a consequence and not as a reaction of frustration, they have a right to do so and I would not question their choice, because every family and every child is different. My own husband has never spanked our kids to date, but he is less opposed to the method in general, and it is not out of the realm that he might use it at some point if he felt other methods weren’t working in a particular situation. If that were to happen, even if it’s not what I would prefer, I would defer to him and stand behind him on it because he is my husband and the children’s father, and frankly he is more tenderhearted than I am, so I have no fear that he would ever be abusive. For me personally, the only times I have ever thought about spanking my son (the older of the children) have been when I have been angry or extremely frustrated. By the time I have calmed down enough that I would not be spanking in anger, I have thought of a better way to handle the situation. It is possible to discipline without spanking.
Still I grew up a healthy well-adjusted adult, I dearly love my Mom, and I’m not too mentally ill or anything - at least I hope! 
