C
claire0202
Guest
I’ll try and describe my personal experience with resting in the Spirit - only because much of what “The Falling Phenomenon” article suggests wasn’t part of my experience (though I dont doubt the truth of it for many).
I attended a 7 week, weekly group meeting where members of our parish learned about various topics related to the Holy Spirit. One of our Parish priests was present for all of them. The meetings culminated in a Mass where we also received a Sacramental (oil) and were prayed over. The primary gift of the Spirit that I remember anticipating was the gift of tongues. I was very defensive about the topic because, like Byzgirl, I had heard some bad things about non-Catholic groups and a lot of craziness. We all prayed heavily during the week leading up to the final Mass. I was praying for some of the people who were in my small group and they were praying for me as well. I had basically resolved in my prayer time that if I didnt receive the gift of tongues I was content with the many blessings that God had given me in life - most especially the gift of faith. Im pretty sure I fealt resolved that I wasnt going to be receiving any such gift - and I was perfectly fine with it! Well, the day rolled around for the big Mass. My work day was incredibly busy - I missed lunch and dinner and had a migraine! I had no time to change from my work clothes (sportcoat, tie, etc) and was late getting there. I really couldnt believe that this is how it was gonna go down - me feeling horrible and not really up for it. Everyone was singing and I wanted to simply sneak in to the back with my wife, but one of the instructors informed me -as I attempted to enter his row - that you had to stay with your group. My group, of course, was in the front pew! I immediately decided I’d go to the outside of the aisle rather than dead center. As I attempted to weasel my way in I noticed the woman on the end was lost in tears…I really couldnt interupt her to make room for me to sit down. Some people motioned to me - with smiles, of course, to sit…in the front center! What could I do but comply. At this point I caught a glimpse of an icon of the sacred heart and I somehow decided to make this the focus of my prayers. I held my hands much like you do when receiving Communion, but I held them against my chest as a physical gesture to open my heart to God. That was my prayer. “I open my heart to you” and stuck with it the whole time. I hate being the “first in line” so to speak because Im not a good listener and I basically hate following unwritten directions. I knew there was gonna be some sort of format and I just wanted to concentrate on “opening my heart” and nothing else. The time came for the blessing, and I was confused over whether we were gonna be prayed over or whatever immediately the blessing or if I was supposed to return to my pew or whatever - I didnt want to be bothered by such distractions! As “fate” would have it, I was the first in line for the oil Sacramental, and I vaguely remember approaching with my hands offering my heart and my Priest making the sign of the Cross on my head and I felt…weird…like something was happening but I wasnt sure what. One of the instructors simply said, “Relax Phil, its the holy Spirit” and I remember consciously thinking, “what does he mean relax - I feel fine”. But as I was thinking that thought I started falling backwards. I ended up laying on the floor and felt a number of experiences. The important point, however, is that I had no expectation of any such event occuring. I was still thinking that I was going to be prayed over and that that would be the time I might speak in tongues or whatever. I remained where I was for some time perfectly comfortable and at peace. I was tempted to believe it wasnt a genuine experience. I also felt an incredibel closeness to all the people that I had been praying for and our Priest. Many other people had a relatively common experience, but none of them were the first to go and none in the state of mind I was in and without any expectations. I simply had no conscious expectation of any such event.