Believer of positive parenting is still very vague. What I will say is this…very few people actually know how they will behave and feel as a new parent until they actually hold a new baby in their arms. Yeah the term positive parenting sounds nice, but it doesn’t sound like there is a real definition for it.
EXACTLY!
I was going to cloth diaper. I even did so for a while. But then my oldest had bowel issues that made cloth just destroy her skin. So we use disposable.
Both my husband and I had no issues with binkies, in fact we wanted them given that they reduce SIDS risk–but one of our children refused to take one for more than 2 weeks of her life. So we have half a dozen unused binkies.
Both my husband and I never want our children to go hungry. We didn’t want to have an “open kitchen” but we figured if a kid rejected a meal, we’d be nice and feed them
something. They were little and shouldn’t go hungry. Then, at about 13 months our eldest pulled a total con job and figured out if she spat out any new foods she got peanut butter. Yes, at 13 months old she was TOTALLY playing us. So we offer her tiny amounts of food and if she refuses to eat, that’s that. She knows that’s what she has. And unfortunately, she has gone hungry. But meals and snacks are frequent. She’s not going to starve to death. And she’s become a GREAT eater overall.
And with my niece who’s autistic…don’t even get me started on the “I will nevers”.
Like “I will never give a kid a smartphone”. Except Pokemon Go! ended up being one of the most life-changing experiences for her. It started with her using the app on my phone to motivate her to exercise. Eventually, it became clear she needed her own.
Then one day we were at the plaground. This child has NEVER under any circumstance spoken to a stranger—especally a child stranger.
She ACTUALLY SPOKE to a boy, a little younger than her and giggled, “there’s a whatchasaur on your head”
He answered back, “I wish I was a whatchasaur!”
She smiled, yes SMILED at a stranger, “I’d rather be a whatevermon”
Third kid chimed in, “Wanna pretend we’re a whatchasaur, whatevermon and somethingzard?”
“Sure” she said.
She turned around, handed me the phone and went off and played with those two kids.
I don’t think anyone who has a neurotypical kid can appreciate what happened. 10 YEARS. For 10 years of her life she’d never willingly interacted with other children unless an adult intervened or she knew the child well. (after much adult intervention).
It took EVERYTHING for me not to burst into tears.
So never ever give a 10 yo a smartphone? It’s unlikely that my littleones will need such intervention, but I will never judge a parent who has found that a smartphone is a tool for their child.
But worry less about internet articles and pop-science, and focus on living your life. The right person will cross your path at the right time, but the circumstances won’t necessarily be the way we’d envisioned.
