St Francis de Sales on “detachment”

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Catechism of the Catholic Church

VOCAL PRAYER

2702 The need to involve the senses in interior prayer corresponds to a requirement of our human nature. We are body and spirit, and we experience the need to translate our feelings externally. We must pray with our whole being to give all power possible to our supplication.

2703 This need also corresponds to a divine requirement. God seeks worshippers in Spirit and in Truth, and consequently living prayer that rises from the depths of the soul. He also wants the external expression that associates the body with interior prayer, for it renders him that perfect homage which is his due.

2704 Because it is external and so thoroughly human, vocal prayer is the form of prayer most readily accessible to groups. Even interior prayer, however, cannot neglect vocal prayer. Prayer is internalized to the extent that we become aware of him "to whom we speak;"4 Thus vocal prayer becomes an initial form of contemplative prayer.

II. MEDITATION

2705 Meditation is above all a quest. The mind seeks to understand the why and how of the Christian life, in order to adhere and respond to what the Lord is asking. The required attentiveness is difficult to sustain. We are usually helped by books, and Christians do not want for them: the Sacred Scriptures, particularly the Gospels, holy icons, liturgical texts of the day or season, writings of the spiritual fathers, works of spirituality, the great book of creation, and that of history the page on which the “today” of God is written.

2706 To meditate on what we read helps us to make it our own by confronting it with ourselves. Here, another book is opened: the book of life. We pass from thoughts to reality. To the extent that we are humble and faithful, we discover in meditation the movements that stir the heart and we are able to discern them. It is a question of acting truthfully in order to come into the light: “Lord, what do you want me to do?”

2707 There are as many and varied methods of meditation as there are spiritual masters. Christians owe it to themselves to develop the desire to meditate regularly, lest they come to resemble the three first kinds of soil in the parable of the sower.5 But a method is only a guide; the important thing is to advance, with the Holy Spirit, along the one way of prayer: Christ Jesus.

2708 Meditation engages thought, imagination, emotion, and desire. This mobilization of faculties is necessary in order to deepen our convictions of faith, prompt the conversion of our heart, and strengthen our will to follow Christ. Christian prayer tries above all to meditate on the mysteries of Christ, as in lectio divina or the rosary. This form of prayerful reflection is of great value, but Christian prayer should go further: to the knowledge of the love of the Lord Jesus, to union with him.

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Catechism of the Catholic Church

III. CONTEMPLATIVE PRAYER

2709 What is contemplative prayer? St. Teresa answers: "Contemplative prayer [ oracion mental ] in my opinion is nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us."6 Contemplative prayer seeks him "whom my soul loves."7 It is Jesus, and in him, the Father. We seek him, because to desire him is always the beginning of love, and we seek him in that pure faith which causes us to be born of him and to live in him. In this inner prayer we can still meditate, but our attention is fixed on the Lord himself.

2710 The choice of the time and duration of the prayer arises from a determined will, revealing the secrets of the heart. One does not undertake contemplative prayer only when one has the time: one makes time for the Lord, with the firm determination not to give up, no matter what trials and dryness one may encounter. One cannot always meditate, but one can always enter into inner prayer, independently of the conditions of health, work, or emotional state. The heart is the place of this quest and encounter, in poverty and in faith.

2711 Entering into contemplative prayer is like entering into the Eucharistic liturgy: we “gather up:” the heart, recollect our whole being under the prompting of the Holy Spirit, abide in the dwelling place of the Lord which we are, awaken our faith in order to enter into the presence of him who awaits us. We let our masks fall and turn our hearts back to the Lord who loves us, so as to hand ourselves over to him as an offering to be purified and transformed.

2712 Contemplative prayer is the prayer of the child of God, of the forgiven sinner who agrees to welcome the love by which he is loved and who wants to respond to it by loving even more.8 But he knows that the love he is returning is poured out by the Spirit in his heart, for everything is grace from God. Contemplative prayer is the poor and humble surrender to the loving will of the Father in ever deeper union with his beloved Son.

2713 Contemplative prayer is the simplest expression of the mystery of prayer. It is a gift, a grace; it can be accepted only in humility and poverty. Contemplative prayer is a covenant relationship established by God within our hearts.9 Contemplative prayer is a communion in which the Holy Trinity conforms man, the image of God, “to his likeness.”

2714 Contemplative prayer is also the pre-eminently intense time of prayer. In it the Father strengthens our inner being with power through his Spirit “that Christ may dwell in [our] hearts through faith” and we may be "grounded in love."10

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Catechism of the Catholic Church

CONTEMPLATIVE PRAYER

2715 Contemplation is a gaze of faith, fixed on Jesus. “I look at him and he looks at me”: this is what a certain peasant of Ars in the time of his holy curé used to say while praying before the tabernacle. This focus on Jesus is a renunciation of self. His gaze purifies our heart; the light of the countenance of Jesus illumines the eyes of our heart and teaches us to see everything in the light of his truth and his compassion for all men. Contemplation also turns its gaze on the mysteries of the life of Christ. Thus it learns the “interior knowledge of our Lord,” the more to love him and follow him.11

2716 Contemplative prayer is hearing the Word of God. Far from being passive, such attentiveness is the obedience of faith, the unconditional acceptance of a servant, and the loving commitment of a child. It participates in the “Yes” of the Son become servant and the Fiat of God’s lowly handmaid.

2717 Contemplative prayer is silence , the "symbol of the world to come"12 or "silent love."13 Words in this kind of prayer are not speeches; they are like kindling that feeds the fire of love. In this silence, unbearable to the “outer” man, the Father speaks to us his incarnate Word, who suffered, died, and rose; in this silence the Spirit of adoption enables us to share in the prayer of Jesus.

2718 Contemplative prayer is a union with the prayer of Christ insofar as it makes us participate in his mystery. The mystery of Christ is celebrated by the Church in the Eucharist, and the Holy Spirit makes it come alive in contemplative prayer so that our charity will manifest it in our acts.

2719 Contemplative prayer is a communion of love bearing Life for the multitude, to the extent that it consents to abide in the night of faith. The Paschal night of the Resurrection passes through the night of the agony and the tomb - the three intense moments of the Hour of Jesus which his Spirit (and not “the flesh [which] is weak”) brings to life in prayer. We must be willing to "keep watch with [him] one hour."14

2 St. John Chrysostom, Ecloga de oratione 2:PG 63,585.
3 Cf. Mt 11:25-26; Mk 14:36.
4 St. Teresa of Jesus, The Way of Perfection 26,9 in The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila , tr. K. Kavanaugh, OCD, and O. Rodriguez, OCD (Washington DC: Institute of Carmelite Studies, 1980),II,136.
5 Cf. Mk 4:4-7, 15-19.
6 St. Teresa of Jesus, The Book of Her Life , 8,5 in The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila , tr. K. Kavanaugh, OCD, and O. Rodriguez, OCD (Washington DC: Institute of Carmelite Studies, 1976),I,67.
7 Song 1:7; cf. 3:14.
8 Cf. Lk 7:36-50; 19:1-10.
9 Cf. Jer 31:33.
10 Eph 3:16-17.
11 Cf. St. Ignatius of Loyola, Spiritual Exercises , 104.
12 Cf. St. Isaac of Nineveh, Tract. myst. 66.
13 St. John of the Cross, Maxims and Counsels , 53 in The Collected Works of St. John of the Cross , tr. K. Kavanaugh, OCD, 678.
14 Cf. Mt 26:40.

https://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p4s1c3a1.htm
 
God would certainly take your conditions and limitations into account as part of your prayer journey. I know St Teresa of Avila suffered chronic problems in her prayer journey. I recall that at one point she was only able to pray if it was from a book. I would humbly ask God to help you progress in the way of prayer, and if you do your part as far as you are able given your conditions and limitations, God will take care of the rest. As St Teresa has said, “the good of the soul does not consist in its thinking much, but in its loving much.” And as Fr Tanqueray notes, while God usually grants progression in prayer according to the traditional methods of the 3 ages of the interior life (purgative, illuminative and unitive), God is not bound by any set structure in granting His children progression in Divine union:

Contemplation being essentially a free gift, God grants it to whom He wills, when He wills, and in the way He wills. (From The Spiritual Life: A Treatise on Ascetical and Mystical Theology)
 
mary15 said:
I need help knowing how one goes about collecting these graces.
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That would just be a matter of asking God for His graces (ie that I become a devout Catholic, lead a good life of love of God and neighbour, keep the commandments and progress in the life of virtue until the moment of death). If God’s doesn’t answer a particular prayer in a short period of time, He can be testing our faith. Also, you may already know this, but we should end all our prayers with “not my will be done, but Thy will be done” and be “indifferent” to the result of our prayer. For example, if I ask God to help me get a particular job. I should be equally happy if God allows me to get the job, and just as happy if God doesn’t allow me to get the job. Also, in terms of asking God for His graces, God does lay down some conditions in order for our prayers to be heard. For example, St Alphonsus Ligouri says our prayers should be humble, confident and persevering (and obviously said with attention and without voluntary distractions). You can read his sermon (in the public domain) of the conditions of prayer, here: Sermon XXVI, Fifth Sunday after Easter – On the Conditions of Prayer, http://www.catholicapologetics.info/scripture/newtestament/liguori.pdf.

In terms of praying with confidence to God, this is a quote from Sermon XXVI: “[God] once said to St. Gertrude that a person who prays to Him with confidence does Him, in a certain way, such violence that He cannot but listen to him and grant all his requests.” I posted a thread on Catholic Answers Forum on the same topic here: Yes, you can "annoy" God!
 
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mary15 said:
I need help knowing how one goes about collecting these graces.
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The Catholic Encyclopedia also sets out “conditions of prayer”:

—Absolute though Christ’s assurances in regard to prayer would seem to be, they do not exclude certain conditions on which the efficacy of prayer depends. In the first place, its object must be worthy of God and good for the one who prays, spiritually or temporally. This condition is always implied in the prayer of one who is resigned to God’s will, ready to accept any spiritual favor God may be pleased to grant, and desirous of temporal ones only in so far as they may help to serve God. Next, faith is needed, not only the general belief that God is capable of answering prayer or that it is a powerful means of obtaining His favor, but also the implicit trust in God’s fidelity to His promise to hear a prayer in some particular instance. This trust implies a special act of faith and hope that if our request be for our good, God will grant it, or something else equivalent or better, which in His Wisdom He deems best for us. To be efficacious prayer should be humble. To ask as if one had a binding claim on God’s goodness, or title of whatever color to obtain some favor, would not be prayer but demand. The parable of the Pharisee and the Publican illustrates this very clearly, and there are innumerable testimonies in Scripture to the power of humility in prayer. “A contrite and humbled heart, O God, thou wilt not despise” (Ps. 1, 19). “The prayer of him that humbleth himself shall pierce the clouds” (Eccl., xxxv, 21). Without sacrifice of humility we may and should try to be sure that our conscience is good, and that there is no defect in our conduct inconsistent with prayer; indeed, we may even appeal to our merits so far as they recommend us to God, provided always that the principal motives of one’s confidence are God’s goodness and the merits of Christ. Sincerity is another necessary quality of prayer. It would be idle to ask favor without doing all that may be in our power to obtain it; to beg for it without really wishing for it; or, at the same time that one prays, to do anything inconsistent with the prayer. Earnestness or fervor is another such quality, precluding all lukewarm or half-hearted petitions. To be resigned to God’s will in prayer does not imply that one should be indifferent in the sense that one does not care whether one be heard or not; … on the contrary, true resignation to God’s will is possible only after we have desired and earnestly expressed our desire in prayer for such things as seem needful to do God’s will. This earnestness is the element which makes the persevering prayer so well described in such parables as the Friend at Midnight (Luke, xi, 5-8)2. or, the Widow and the Unjust Judge (Luke, xvii, 2-5), and which ultimately obtains the precious gift of perseverance in grace.

 
Thank you for your insights! Just what I needed. I’ve been feeling down lately about my limitations and your words helped. Also, thanks for posting all the quotes from the Catechism. I haven’t read them in a while.
 
This is definitely an excellent topic. I’ve made it a practice to spend 15 minutes in silent meditation every morning right after I wake up, and it definitely makes a big difference in ones spiritual life. It’s easier to discern the subtle voice of the Holy Spirit in our lives, and to overcome big challenges with peace in our hearts.

God definitely speaks to us a lot, we just have to learn to listen and understand the way He does.
 
@TominAdelaide

Pray and ask God for His grace to:

*become a devout Catholic

*Lead a good life of love of God and neighbor

*keep the commandments

*progress in the life of virtue until the moment of death

Also:

*End all our prayers with “not my will be done, but thy will be done”

The link to the Prayer information from Catholic answers share this very helpful info
on prayer petitions:

“This expression is not intended to instruct or direct God what to do, but to appeal to His goodness for the things we need; and the appeal is necessary, not because He is ignorant of our needs or sentiments, but to give definite form to our desires, to concentrate our whole attention on what we have to recommend to Him, to help us appreciate our close personal relationship with Him. The expression need not be external or vocal; internal or mental is sufficient.”

@TominAdelaide @IanM we recommend to God our petitions, but always, we end our prayers with thy will be done.

Is the goal to be detatched from any negativity to His answer being a no, or a response that is a vastly different answer than we recommended, and to always be pleased, and in a state of love for God in all things?
 
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@TominAdelaide You pointed out that

“God does lay down some conditions in order for our prayers to be heard.”

I never knew that!!

St Alphonsus Ligouri wrote On the Conditions of Prayer

http://www.catholicapologetics.info/scripture/newtestament/liguori.pdf.

@TominAdelaide, Thank you for this pdf that I could download to my computer.

The print is very tiny and there are so many, that I was wondering if you can see which is the sermon on the conditions of prayer? Can you see what page it’s on? I would love to read this. How very generous to post this.

Edit to add-I just found out how to make the print gigantic, ha ha! Now I can see his sermon on the conditions of prayer:

ST.ALPHONSUS M. LIGUORI:
  1. We must pray with humility
  2. We must pray with confidence.
  3. "We must pray with perseverance
 
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TominAdelaide said:
Any Christian who places themselves in the presence of God in a loving silence for a period of time is praying the “prayer of simplicity.” “Infused” contemplation begins with the “prayer of simplicity” but then God begins to “infuse” supernatural gifts into the soul.
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Thank you so much for all of your generosity in posting this information. Its a true gift to others that you have created this thread. Bless you.
TominAdelaide said:
Any Christian who places themselves in the presence of God in a loving silence for a period of time is praying the “prayer of simplicity.” “Infused” contemplation begins with the “prayer of simplicity” but then God begins to “infuse” supernatural gifts into the soul. These “infused’ supernatural gifts are beyond the ordinary operations of grace and are gifts that only God can give
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I think this is where I am at in my prayer life. its just me and god all alone spending time together, and I look at Him and He looks at me and its deep and pure love and pure worship.

IDK if I am getting more that grace but it seems like I become unified with Him and get to a place where I do not want to leave. It fills a deep in my soul hunger, a thirst that is unquenchable, and I cannot give it adequate words. but I do not know if I am getting a special gift from God this way, that is beyond the grace imbued upon me in this state of deep contemplation.

Thank you so much for this information.

There are so many books to read, so I very much appreciate the time and efforts that you took to pull out important quotes and to also apply pdf’s to download.

@TominAdelaide
“TominAdelaide said:
true resignation to God’s will is possible only after we have desired and earnestly expressed our desire in prayer for such things as seem needful to do God’s will. This earnestness is the element that makes the persevering prayer so well described in such parables as the Friend at Midnight (Luke, xi, 5-8)2. or, the Widow and the Unjust Judge (Luke, xvii, 2-5), and which ultimately obtains the precious gift of perseverance in grace.
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May God hear my requests then, as I shall make them in earnestness and in perseverance because they would allow me to do God’s will, asking in humbleness, resigned to His will, be it a yes or no or maybe.

@TominAdelaide Thanks again for posting the chucks of the Catechism on prayer.i have found it in my copy and bookmarked it. It is wonderful and so satisfying to read it.

I will now take more time to delve into the catechism. it is a very great book to read indeed.

Ps-your postings are very meaty, so going thru your posts is going to take time.
 
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mary15 said:
@TominAdelaide @IanM we recommend to God our petitions, but always, we end our prayers with thy will be done.

Is the goal to be detatched from any negativity to His answer being a no, or a response that is a vastly different answer than we recommended, and to always be pleased, and in a state of love for God in all things?
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Yes indeed! We should be happy regardless of the way in which God decides to answer our prayer. The obvious example would be missing a flight on a plane and then finding out that the flight we were meant to be on had crashed, and that God had saved our life by missing the flight! Obviously, it would be futile to be disappointed about missing the flight! There are many reasons why God doesn’t answer our prayer, or takes time to answer our prayers or gives us something better or different from what we had asked for, but always because it is in our best interests! Also, from a practical level, it feels lousy to be disappointed, and God doesn’t ever want His children to feel lousy, at any time! God wants His children to have joy 24/7! Although there is an exception to this if we fall into sin. In this case, God wants us to feel the reproach of our conscience so that we will repent of our sins, but other than that, God always wants us to be in a state of joy! (“Your joy no man shall take from you." (John 16:22)). This is from St John of the Cross on trials:

“It is not God’s will that a soul should be disturbed by anything or suffer trials, for if one suffers trials in the adversities of the world it is because of a weakness in virtue. The perfect soul rejoices in what afflicts the imperfect one.” (St John of the Cros, Sayings, no 54)

“As for trials, the more the better.” (St John of the Cross, Sayings, no. 174)

This is a quote on thanksgiving in all circumstances from the Catechism of the Council of Trent:

Again, we honour and venerate the name of God, when, from a sense of religious duty, we celebrate His praises, and under all circumstances, whether prosperous or adverse, return Him unbounded thanks. Thus spoke the Prophet: Bless the Lord, O my soul, and never forget all he hath done for thee. (Ps. 102:1) Among the Psalms of David there are many, in which, animated with singular piety towards God, he chants in sweetest strains the divine praises. There is also the example of the admirable patience of Job, who, when visited with the heaviest and most appalling calamities, never ceased, with lofty and unconquered soul, to give praise to God. When, therefore, we labour under affliction of mind or body, when oppressed by misery and misfortune, let us instantly direct all our thoughts, and all the powers of our soul, to the praises of God, saying with Job: Blessed be the name of the Lord! (Job 1:21)

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Although, as Fr Tanqueray and Fr Gabriel of St Mary Magdalen note, getting to this state of detachment and even preferring sorrow to pleasure is a process:

From Fr Adolphe Tanqueray in “The Spiritual Life: A Treatise on Ascetical and Mystical Theology”:

3 Degrees of Patience

The degrees of patience correspond to the three stages of the spiritual life.

a) At the beginning , suffering is accepted as coming from God; without murmur, without resentment, in hope of heavenly rewards. It is accepted in order to atone for faults and to purify the heart; in order to control ill-regulated tendencies, especially sadness and dejection. It is accepted in spite of our natural repugnance, and, if a prayer goes up that the chalice pass away, it is followed by an act of submission to the holy Will of God.

b) Patience, in its second degree, makes us eager to embrace suffering, in union with Jesus Christ, and in order to make us more like that Divine Model. Hence the soul is fond of following Him along the sorrowful road that He took from the Crib to the Cross; it contemplates Him, praises Him, and pours forth its love upon Him in all His sorrowful mysteries: at His entrance into this world when He “emptied Himself”; in His resignation within the lowly crib that was His cradle and wherein He suffered even more from the insensibility of men than from the cold and the elements; amidst the sufferings of His exile, the menial labors of His hidden life, the work, the fatigue, and the humiliations of His public life; but, above all, in the physical and moral tortures of His painful passion. Strengthened by the words of St. Peter, “Christ therefore, having suffered in the flesh, be you also armed with the same thought,” the soul takes new courage in the face of pain and sadness; side by side with Jesus, it tenderly stretches itself forth on the Cross, for love of Him: “With Christ I am nailed to the cross.” When suffering increases, a loving, compassionate glance upon the Crucified Christ brings the response from His lips: “Blessed are they that mourn … blessed are they who suffer persecution for justice’s sake.”

Then, the hope of sharing in His glory in the heavenly places renders more bearable the crucifixion undergone in union with Him: “If we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified with him.” Nay, the soul at times comes, like St. Paul, to the point where it rejoices in its miseries and tribulations, well knowing that to suffer with Christ means to comfort Him, that it means the completion of His Passion, a more perfect love for Him here on earth, and a preparation for the further enjoyment of His love through all eternity: “Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me … I exceedingly abound with joy in all our tribulation.”

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From Fr Adolphe Tanqueray in “The Spiritual Life: A Treatise on Ascetical and Mystical Theology”:

3 Degrees of Patience

c) This leads to the third degree of patience, the desire and the love of suffering for the sake of God Whom one wishes to glorify, and for the sake of souls, for whose sanctification one wants to labor. This is the degree proper to perfect souls and especially to apostolic souls, to religious, priests and devout men and women. Such was the disposition that animated Our Blessed Lord when He offered Himself as victim at His entrance into this world, and which He expressed in proclaiming His desire to suffer the baptism of His Passion: “And I have a baptism wherewith I am to be baptized. And how am I straitened until it be accomplished.” Out of love for Him and in order to become more like unto Him, perfect souls enter into the same sentiments: “For”, in the words of St. Ignatius, “just as men of the world who are attached to the things of earth, love and seek with great eagerness honors, good name, and display among men … so those who march ahead in the ways of the spirit and who earnestly follow Jesus Christ love and ardently desire whatever is opposed to the spirit of the world … so that were it possible with no offence to God and scandal to the neighbor, they would want to suffer insults, slanders, and injuries, be reckoned as fools, though having given no occasion therefor, such is their intense desire to be likened in some way to Our Lord Jesus Christ … so that with the help of His grace we strive to imitate Him as far as we can, and to follow Him in all things, since He is the true way which leads men to life.” Evidently, it is only love for God and for the Crucified Christ that can inspire a like love for the Cross and humiliations.

Must a soul go further, and offer itself to God as a victim and formally ask God for extraordinary sufferings, in order either to offer reparation to God, or to obtain some signal favor? No doubt some of the Saints have done so and in our day there are still generous souls who are moved to do likewise. However, generally speaking, such requests cannot be prudently counselled. They may easily lead to illusions and are often the outcome of some ill-considered impulse of generosity which has its origin in presumption. “Such requests are made,” says Father de Smedt, “in moments of emotional fervor, and once this is gone … one realizes one’s weakness to accomplish the heroic acts of submission and resignation so energetically made in the imagination. Therefrom issue violent temptations to discouragement and even to complaints against God’s Providence … It is a source of great annoyance and perplexity to the spiritual directors of such souls.” Hence, we must not take it upon ourselves to ask for extraordinary sufferings or trials. If one feels oneself drawn thereto, one must take counsel with a judicious director of souls and do nothing without his approval.

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From Fr Gabriel of St Mary Magdalen (Divine Intimacy):

But let us have no illusions: the love of suffering is the summit of patience; it is the fruit of patience brought to perfection. To reach this height, we must begin with a much humbler practice; that is, the peaceful and uncomplaining acceptance of everything that makes us suffer.

From Fr Gabriel of St Mary Magdalen (Divine Intimacy):

It is true that that [humiliations] are not agreeable to proud, sensitive nature; nevertheless, although we feel their bitterness, we must force ourselves to accept them graciously, making the words of the Psalmist our own: “It is good for me that Thou hast humbled me.” (Ps 118:71) If, in spite of all the repugnance and resistance of nature, we accept an humiliation by an act of the will, and assure God that we want to be content with it and to savor it thoroughly, we will gradually become humble. The hard, bitter bread of abasement will become little by little, sweet and pleasant, but we will not find it agreeable until we have been nourished by it for a long time. Moreover, the most important thing is not the sweetness, but the willingness to accept everything that is humiliating. “Allow thyself to be taught, allow thyself to be commanded, allow thyself to be enslaved and brought into submission and despised, and thou shall be perfect!” (St John of the Cross, Spiritual Maxims 2, 33)
 
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mary15 said:
I think this is where I am at in my prayer life. its just me and god all alone spending time together, and I look at Him and He looks at me and its deep and pure love and pure worship.
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Yes, both Fr Tanqueray and Dom Lehodey say that the “prayer of simplicity” is generally a “safe” form of prayer precisely because it is so simple (God looks at me and I look at God in a loving silence!) and therefore not as easily the subject of the dangers and illusions which can occur in the higher forms of contemplative prayer.
 
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mary15 said:
@TominAdelaide Thanks again for posting the chucks of the Catechism on prayer.i have found it in my copy and bookmarked it. It is wonderful and so satisfying to read it.

I will now take more time to delve into the catechism. it is a very great book to read indeed.
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Yes, I was involved in a Pentecostal church before I became a Catholic and reading the Catechism was one of the main reasons why I became a Catholic! So in a sense, if I am saved, I will in a sense owe my salvation to reading the Catechism! When I read it for the first time, I couldn’t put it down!
 
From “The Theology of Christian Perfection” by Fr Antonio Royo Marin OP:

To offer oneself to God as a victim of expiation. It would seem that it is impossible to go further in love of the Cross than to prefer sorrow to pleasure. Nevertheless, there is still another more perfect and more exquisite degree in the love of suffering: the act of offering oneself as a victim of expiation for the sins of the world. At the very outset, we must say with great insistence that this sublime act is completely above the ordinary way of grace. It would be terrible presumption for a beginner or an imperfectly purified soul to place itself in this state. “To be called a victim is easy and it pleases self-love, but truly to be a victim demands a purity, a detachment from creatures, a heroism which is abandoned to all suffering, to all humiliation, to ineffable obscurity, that I would consider it either foolishness or miraculous if one who is at the beginning of the spiritual life should attempt to do that which the divine Master did not do except by degrees.”1 … Examples of victim souls are [St Catherine of Siena,] St Therese of Lisieux, St Gemma Galgani and Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity.

… In these souls [Jesus] can renew the whole mystery of redemption. The Lord is wont to accept this heroic offering, and he leads these victims to a terrifying martyrdom of body and soul. Only with the help of extraordinary graces can they support for any length of time the incredible sufferings and pains; they always terminate on the height of Calvary, totally transformed into Christ crucified. … Such souls have a perfect knowledge of the redemptive efficacy of their martyrdom. A multitude of souls which, without this heroic offering, would have been lost for all eternity. …

In practice, the offering of oneself as a victim for souls should never be permitted except to souls of whom the Holy Ghost asks it with a persistent and irresistible motion of grace. It would be ridiculous presumption for a beginner or for a soul that is not yet purified. … It means that the souls which would give itself in such a way for the salvation of its brethren in Christ must itself be very intimately united to him and must have travelled a great distance toward its own sanctification. It must be a soul that is well schooled in suffering and has a veritable thirst for suffering. Under these conditions the director could permit a soul to make this act of offering itself as a victim and thus, if God accepts it, be converted in its life into a faithful reproduction of the divine martyr of Calvary.

Note 1. Cf. Plus, Christ in Our Neighbors, p. 50.
 
mary15 said:
@TominAdelaide @IanM we recommend to God our petitions, but always, we end our prayers with thy will be done.
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I should also mention that I don’t actually say “not my will be done, but Thy will be done” every time I say a prayer (although sometimes I say it verbally) but have it as a “silent” general intention behind each prayer.
 
Thank you, Tom.

Here is a link to some more helpful information on all the types of prayers:

https://spiritualdirection.com/2013/11/04/what-is-the-prayer-of-simplicity-part-i-of-iii

Also, have you been able to detatch at all? And are there stages or levels of being able to detatch?

Right now, I am trying to even think to stop myself from my fleshly bemoanings.

Do you have a simple, and short prayer I can say to myself to stop me quickly when ever I start to bemoan something?

For example, I started to say that the room was very cold to someone, and they barked:
“Offer it up!”

But while they are very kind and helpful, what can I pray to myself when I catch myself?

How do I stop the drive towards giving in to my passions?

I need to reign them in and stop thinking of myself and take my eyes off myself.

For would not this be the very thing that Christ does?

I feel called to love Him until I make myself nothing…

Is this doable in this world?
 
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